turboplanner Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 .........sat and sat and sat......and one day laid an................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 .........sat and sat and sat......and one day laid ................ .... something that he couldn't remember eating. "That happens quite often when I Cough and I can't remember harbouring a ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 "bowling ball at any time in the past but that was PAINFUL!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 "bowling ball at any time in the past but that was PAINFUL!" "Dont worry" said Mavis "It wont hurt once the pain goes away" "You are a woose" said Nana, "If you want to know what real pain is, you should try.................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 "..........one of Rat's landings......." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 "..........one of Rat's landings......." "Well you are a woose too" commented the Rodent, defending himself "I'm not going to spend this sort of money on a machine without making sure I get a thrill out of it, and besides, I am officially in training to be a pilot on a Carrier if OZ ever gets another one, see how I have an RAA standard made-in-Tazzy pilot's jump suit with epaulettes, six gold braided stripes on each and a Treasurer's report in the pocket, with a "Next Top Gun" badge on the chest, so plonking (aviation term) it onto the deck while imagining the runway pitching through 8 m is an everyday circuit (aviation term) for the brave CarrierRat." However the cruel (but fair) Eeeen interjected and said "The only thing that you Carry is Rabies and the only thing you "plonk" is ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 ".......your rat's tail, as I remember right into the punch bowl at the last party, just after I'd spiked it with six bottles of Chandon!" Rat remembered that party, and how he was frogmarched out after propositioning every female in the place including the Station mare, not to mention the bitch. Turbo added "the brave Carrier Rat was not actually landing on a carrier in high seas but had flown in to Brown Brothers winery, as he does three times a week, and after several hours of "tasting" towards the end of which every Brown brother was raising his eyes to the sky and wondering how they let him in again, WineryRat had offered to take Turbo for a ride to see if the Jab would last four circuits. The strip is short, but it was obvious after six go rounds that ShickeredRat had become unco-ordinated and was ballooning up on late final. Turbo tried to explain he should look to the end of the strip and it was then that BlindRat admitted he couldn't see the end of the strip. So Turbo tried to make it easier by offering to work the throttle. To this offer PlasteredRat said, "the pedals too if you could" The next approach apparently nearly made it to funniest home videos as the Rat balloned up, Turbo pulled the throttle and the Jab dropped like a rock. At the same time Rat shoved the stick forward and Turbo gave it full throttle and such a delicate touch of rudder that the aircraft recovered enough to miss the ground, but cut a half circular swathe across the paddock. On seeing the most ferocious Brown brother coming out of the shed with a shotgun under his arm, SmartRat made a gentle climbing turn in the direction of.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 ".......your rat's tail, as I remember right into the punch bowl at the last party, just after I'd spiked it with six bottles of Chandon!"Rat remembered that party, and how he was frogmarched out after propositioning every female in the place including the Station mare, not to mention the bitch. Turbo added "the brave Carrier Rat was not actually landing on a carrier in high seas but had flown in to Brown Brothers winery, as he does three times a week, and after several hours of "tasting" towards the end of which every Brown brother was raising his eyes to the sky and wondering how they let him in again, WineryRat had offered to take Turbo for a ride to see if the Jab would last four circuits. The strip is short, but it was obvious after six go rounds that ShickeredRat had become unco-ordinated and was ballooning up on late final. Turbo tried to explain he should look to the end of the strip and it was then that BlindRat admitted he couldn't see the end of the strip. So Turbo tried to make it easier by offering to work the throttle. To this offer PlasteredRat said, "the pedals too if you could" The next approach apparently nearly made it to funniest home videos as the Rat balloned up, Turbo pulled the throttle and the Jab dropped like a rock. At the same time Rat shoved the stick forward and Turbo gave it full throttle and such a delicate touch of rudder that the aircraft recovered enough to miss the ground, but cut a half circular swathe across the paddock. On seeing the most ferocious Brown brother coming out of the shed with a shotgun under his arm, SmartRat made a gentle climbing turn in the direction of.......... .... upwards, but still with enough speed to keep the heads cool and the thru-bolt nuts in their rightful place. "That's slanderous" replied the Brave CarrierRat "As I was the propositioneee at that party, and as every brave fly-boy knows, the ladies (and the cattle) go weak at the knees once they learn that you are a member of the RAA and that you own a Saphire, let alone a TyroneJack-a-cricket or a SportyJauntyStar." With his usual modesty El Ratatoile said to himself "This is PoppyCock (or Chrysanthemum C*ck or Rose C*ck or the stamen of any other flower), and this NES should never be all-about-me, so he attempted to introduce another character). "Leave me out of this" said Rose "As I don't want to be crucified like what Nanna has been." "Who called me a has-been, and I wasn't crucified, I was hand-cuffed" replied Nanna, who had shacked up in Ratsack's Bordello with the Saturday Morning Lie-In Star, known locally as ........................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 ....Copylox, because he tried to do what all the big boys did. "She's a sorte (sic.)" said Copylox who apparently was legally blind It should be noted that CheapRat was renting out a room at the Rathaus for twenty bucks a night, so he could blackmail Copy at a later date. "It's a cheap room" said Copylox and she's such a sorte (sic. et passim) Turbo winced at the Brave CarrierRat story because he knew it would be terminus ad quem And he sniggered at his throw away line "this NES should never be all-about-me" ( a pathetic attempt to sell the dummy, since no one remembered he was talking about bull [soon to be featured in the best selling ongoing search for the Rat's ancestors] Who had imported a special blue flying suit with an elasticised hole for his tail, and a Snoopy patch? Who had scoured the Disposals shops until he found two enormous epaulettes with six bars? Who has been imitating a grumpy Major at recent fly ins and telling his mates nothing? Who, at the drop of a hat has been giving impromptu Treasurer's Reports around the campfire (lit by other people's valuable fuel)? (more accurate than any official reports) Who has been sucking up to Een suggesting that Copylox should be fired as a Moderator, so he can tell more pc incorrect stories? Who squashes Brine every time he tries to add a witty comment to NES, as he did once? Careful readers* will immediately recognise none other than Mr Rat! So it's Caveat Lector to anything he writes. * Turbo has been on the trail of the lost skills of the Ancient Egyptians for about twenty years, and with the increasing spread of knowledge due to internet resources more and more information is being verified and speculation that a VHC (Very High Civilization) lived on earth around 15,000 years ago. The rapid spread of knowledge has tempted the highly intelligent to join us plebeans in researching and suggesting solutions. Turbo has been reading a book written by a physisist, and struggled for weeks to come to grips with the lofty language sprinkled through it. Awed at the power of these words, which he doesn't understand, and even though he thought the physisist was a wanker, he feels the NES community should be given the opportunity to lift its game, and so has started to use some of these words. "Careful readers" is a term the physisist repeatedly used to imply that "Fwits like you wouldn't get my point" - Turbo was quite pleased to pick that up at the beginning of the story, and noted it was used whenever there was no proof supporting the physist's statement Sic, Turbo had always thought was when the author was too sick to keep going with the book and had to come back months later, but it means "that's what the idiot wrote" Sic, et passim, Turbo had thought was when the author had died in the middle of the book, but it means "the fwit made this mistake right through the book" Terminus ad quem, turbo had thought was coughing at a bus station and always wondered why they wrote that, but it means a final limiting point (which is just as fast to type). Caveat Lector, as Turbo who did three years of Latin should have known means Let the reader beware. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 As a result of Tubb's post # 6962, your lovable hero CarrierRat is tired and has a headache from reading all of those big words and looking up all that latin, however he was also reminded of that fantastic sketch in the Life of Brian about "Romanes eunt Domus", when Eeen rang to compalin about the quantity of space that Turpsies posts are taking up on his website. "We have to be careful not to use up too much of our word and letter quota each day" said Eeen or the Word & Letter Police will align with the RAA Thought Police and try to shut us down, or perhaps some cute little Kiddie in the GYFTS program won't be able to learn some stuff about flying, for lack of words to use. TopGunCarrierRat thought long and hard about this critical (Nobu would say "clitical") issue and rang Ahlot the Harlot to ask him to ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 ......tell Turbo to use only three letter words. (Principalocks was well aware of the Rat's English Challenged (before pc words it would have been described as "moron", "imbecile", "sub human")situation. However Turbo had studied Churchill and could convey messages in two syllable words if that be came necessary (or at least two words) It was ironic that TGCRat, as he styled himself, mentioned the GYFTS which once was part of the Dole Based Government spending our taxes to teach teenagers to fly for recreation to stop them from riding bikes or delivering newspapers. It was comments on this forum, led by RichRat which encouraged the board to quietly take the money of members (after reading repeated boasts that an increase in membership cost was "pocket money" and "well worth it" even the sic, et passims didn't have a clue where it was going). who struggled to afford to fly for fun and give it to teenagers to teach them to fly for fun at members expense, and shortly to............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 ......tell Turbo to use only three letter words. (Principalocks was well aware of the Rat's English Challenged (before pc words it would have been described as "moron", "imbecile", "sub human")situation.However Turbo had studied Churchill and could convey messages in two syllable words if that be came necessary (or at least two words) It was ironic that TGCRat, as he styled himself, mentioned the GYFTS which once was part of the Dole Based Government spending our taxes to teach teenagers to fly for recreation to stop them from riding bikes or delivering newspapers. It was comments on this forum, led by RichRat which encouraged the board to quietly take the money of members (after reading repeated boasts that an increase in membership cost was "pocket money" and "well worth it" even the sic, et passims didn't have a clue where it was going). who struggled to afford to fly for fun and give it to teenagers to teach them to fly for fun at members expense, and shortly to............... .....proudly wear epilettes, epal, epualettes, bloody shoulder boards with at least 6 gold bars on em and give rambling dissertations on the status of the orgynisation at........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Orgynisation (n) Root, brothel, trying to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Orgynisation (n) Root, brothel, trying to ... Ahhh, the memories of last weekend at the Rathaus....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Ahhh, the memories of last weekend at the Rathaus....... ..... and self confessed by LoxyPoxy, no-less", commented another member of the Magnificent Moderati (named Martin). "See how quickly they turn on their own" commented the TurbidPlankton. "Yes", responded PoxyLoxy "Come on fellas, be fair, as it was just a momentary lapse of Moderati magnificence." "No" said Eeen "We've been looking for an excuse to dump Poxy for years, and miss-spelling "Orgynisation" (it is spelt with a "z" as every one of us know who have partaken of the high-jinks at the RatHaus) is a sacking offence at Mag (av.ref.) Moderati level, why, that is even worse that providing a Treasurer's Report that just says "I've been a member for yonks and have seen a lot of change.". "I agree" replied the Mini Minor "Not using a "z" is much worse, and after all, the Treasurer's lack of Treasureship was just a mistake, I'll wave my wand and put it right, I'll fix it up, as you can't really expect a Treasurer's report at an AGM, and those blokes & blokettes on Eeen's website are being unreasonable and are just stirrers. I'll write to Eeen and shut it down, after all, I am the famous Mini Minor and I can do that sort of stuff (now where is my Ambulance Chaser mate)" "Hey, hang on a minute" yelled AndySatOnIt getting quite irate, irritated, irreligious, irresponsible and irrattional, but not irrelevant ".................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 you guys are being grossly unfair to he who has more stripes than a pedestrian crossing!!! If financial transparency was important they wouldnt call the position a treasurer, it would be better called a "whevegothowf&knmuch" position! Keen once more to dazzle with his historically irrelevant stories he proceeded to tell the enthralled bored mob that in years gone by a treasurer was one who had treasure, and the best way to keep treasure wasnt to broadcast to all and sundry how f&kn much you had! If you did, in rode a jolly pirate (pre-evolutionary lawyer) who stole it all from you...back then with guns, now with latin and tons of paper in a theater where everyone dresses upo in black with horsesarse hair wigs. So, One can only conclude that unlike the suggestion that pedestrian crossing bars crush all sense of financial transparency from a man he is simply ensuring that the bloody pirates dont steal it all away as soon as they know we have some. But it was albecoming irrelevant for there was suddenly many a rumour runing through the roon about the dreaded CASAMONSTA who would swoop in and confiscate all wings from RAA flyingmachines......OMG said Rattus we're evolving rapidy from the RAA to the australian arm of the dodo society....what will....... AndySatonIt was infact more appropriately called AndySatInIt this week...a virgin one at that as he winged his way rapidly from the rust belt of Coffs to the rust belt of Adelaide for another week in the office.......On the way home, sensing the danger the trusty virgin 737-800 was fairly bolting along at 500kts GS almost over the top of Wagga^2 tyhere was one hellofa tailwind...or.,..rat or ahloxs had just passed wind.....looking down it was a dark and formidding place...almost as bad as the bottomless pit of bangitholme where on leaving Sydney the pilot invariably comes on the intercom after we are at about 500ft and say"Folks we reached our cruising altitude as we head down to melbinistan we'll be starting our 50 minute descent now...its all down hill from here......" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted November 9, 2012 Share Posted November 9, 2012 Andy Scoffs, makes the point that Goldenbars has secreted the members millions to protect them, but Turbo says "Show us the Map", and of course Mr Scoffs can't do that. Turbo respectfully points out that there's a long history of secreted treasure never being found. For example, you never heard of Robinson Crusoe buying a Cessna Citation and having a yacht in the Bahamas, did you. And he LIVED there. And Blackbeard's treasure at Queenscliffe - many have dug but none are driving Ferraris. And now there's a Plan A stage 1 to let all registrations run out, NOT GROUND the aircraft for those who suggested that. Of course without registration the aircraft is grounded, but we won't tell anyone that in case we are branded as "just a few trouble makers" These aircraft will then become as valuable as garden ornaments, at which time an offer of fifty bucks will be made for each one - Plan A Stage 2. When everyone has their money and is sitting back relieved that at least they got a small part of their investment back, Plan A Stage three will go into operation, where all registrations will be renewed and the aircraft offered for sale at pre Plan A Prices. And that Boys and Girls will really produce a Treasure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Andy Scoffs, makes the point that Goldenbars has secreted the members millions to protect them, but Turbo says "Show us the Map", and of course Mr Scoffs can't do that.Turbo respectfully points out that there's a long history of secreted treasure never being found. For example, you never heard of Robinson Crusoe buying a Cessna Citation and having a yacht in the Bahamas, did you. And he LIVED there. And Blackbeard's treasure at Queenscliffe - many have dug but none are driving Ferraris. And now there's a Plan A stage 1 to let all registrations run out, NOT GROUND the aircraft for those who suggested that. Of course without registration the aircraft is grounded, but we won't tell anyone that in case we are branded as "just a few trouble makers" These aircraft will then become as valuable as garden ornaments, at which time an offer of fifty bucks will be made for each one - Plan A Stage 2. When everyone has their money and is sitting back relieved that at least they got a small part of their investment back, Plan A Stage three will go into operation, where all registrations will be renewed and the aircraft offered for sale at pre Plan A Prices. And that Boys and Girls will really produce a Treasure. So the TurbanPlanchette has killed the NES (again) for the lack of 5 little dots at the end of his post # 6970, and all because he (or she) [not that there is anything wrong with that] couldn't stand the prospect of the CrappyRodent or Andyshatinahat picking up post # 7000. How sad and selfish is that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 ..... ...... which is the trail that Andy leaves when he gets up off the hat, (and again ..... [however bigger] when he learnt that CASA were about to shut down the RAA) .......... but then again ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 ...... which is the trail that Andy leaves when he gets up off the hat, (and again ..... [however bigger] when he learnt that CASA were about to shut down the RAA) .......... but then again ..... ..... and again ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 ..... and again ..... ..... until sleep, and emptyness, allowed Andysh@ to curl up into a cute little ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Turboplanner wishes to make the most obsequious, humble apology to the most honorable Rat for leaving out four dots from his post, but wonders why the wanker wouldn't know that a story may continue with a new sentence or new paragraph, provided it doesn't start with a proposition, and..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Turboplanner wishes to make the most obsequious, humble apology to the most honorable Rat for leaving out four dots from his post, but wonders why the wanker wouldn't know that a story may continue with a new sentence or new paragraph, provided it doesn't start with a proposition, and..... EDITORIAL COMMENT - El Ratto thinks that Tubb must have got out of the wrong side of the bed over the past couple of days, as he has upset a couple of blokes in other threads, and now he is picking on his golden toothed mate of many years. What is the world coming too, when Turpsy goes feral, the RAA is almost shut down, many members appear to still be prepared to give the RAA management the benefit of the doubt, and coal prices have come off heaps ................ so being called a "wanker" by the TurbidPlankton is the least of Ratsack's worries. (But where oh where is the Magnificent Moderatti Ahlotti when you need the bugger (not that there is anything wrong with that)?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 If anyone knew about propositions Turbo sure did as Nana and indeed the wary Cassy have told us time and time again. Apparently he's not very good at propositions and the Tuba player had had more than his fair share of knockbacks. Loxy on the otherhand as a member of the magnificent moderatii had very little time to proposition and was busy wondering if Een was in need of some of his magnificence in an attempt to prevent foot amputation by shotgun which appeared to be currently in progress..... Loxy was pondering that conundrum taht not many bored members spoke here, and those that did were often stoned publically and then bemoaned that they wont come back for a repeat......What was Loxy to do...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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