The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

STOP!!! yelled Elpresidente "There will be no shooting, unless I or the exec Ok it, and even then only when the bullets are moving in a general direction away from us...... In fact surely there is a messenger around here somewhere that is full of bad news deserving of a lead head or two" Nobu was confussed...what matches got to do with it he thought to himself.

The Mini Minor swivled his head back and forth until he finally caught sight of ElRatpoo, the Tuba Player and AndysgetshisRocksoff...."Ah 3 more deserving miscreants I havent seen since......

...... my nightmare on Pirie St, last night, and if anyone is to be shot it should be all of the cynics, stirrers and those off little faith, who are undermining this great and efficient orgynisation. It was them that caused the audit failures and made a few of us work back a bit late, and it was them and that Issac bloke that want things improved. They got it wrong, I'll put it right and I'll fix it all up, most of them aren't members, and this is all their fault."

 

"But" interjected Brine, who had heard the Treaz spout this crap before in Temora when he sold the Prez a dump after the Prez looked like a Bunny in a spotlight, "I don't ................

 

 

[Bryon]

...... my nightmare on Pirie St, last night, and if anyone is to be shot it should be all of the cynics, stirrers and those off little faith, who are undermining this great and efficient orgynisation. It was them that caused the audit failures and made a few of us work back a bit late, and it was them and that Issac bloke that want things improved. They got it wrong, I'll put it right and I'll fix it all up, most of them aren't members, and this is all their fault."

"But" interjected Brine, who had heard the Treaz spout this crap before in Temora when he sold the Prez a dump after the Prez looked like a Bunny in a spotlight, "I don't ................

....give a Rats ahhh.....Lox, good to see you here mate, now we can grab hold of that insurgent Isaaacs boobles and give him a ..................

 

 

[ahlocks]

... nipple cripple he'll never forget.

 

"Nope!" interjected turboCounsel. "That'd be an offence under section 2; clause 132; subclause II of the People With a Middle Name of Bloody, Protection Act - 1953 (The Bloody Act) where it states that any act of boobile mistreatment attracts A MILLION DOLLAR FINE and the defendant will be hung by the goolies until repentant.

 

Dammit!:doh:cursed DbI, when he realised that.......

 

 

[Captain]

... nipple cripple he'll never forget.

"Nope!" interjected turboCounsel. "That'd be an offence under section 2; clause 132; subclause II of the People With a Middle Name of Bloody, Protection Act - 1953 (The Bloody Act) where it states that any act of boobile mistreatment attracts A MILLION DOLLAR FINE and the defendant will be hung by the goolies until repentant.

 

Dammit!:doh:cursed DbI, when he realised that.......

..... the TurbidPlankton has been known to pay up to US$36.75 to be hung by the goolies, when he was on holidays in ..............

 

 

[Bryon]

... nipple cripple he'll never forget.

"Nope!" interjected turboCounsel. "That'd be an offence under section 2; clause 132; subclause II of the People With a Middle Name of Bloody, Protection Act - 1953 (The Bloody Act) where it states that any act of boobile mistreatment attracts A MILLION DOLLAR FINE and the defendant will be hung by the goolies until repentant.

 

Dammit!:doh:cursed DbI, when he realised that.......

....his subtool plan to entice Mavis into his Batwing lined redwine den of iniquity had been thwarted by that dastardly fellow Turbz

 

"Revenge shall be mine!!!" he shouted at the sky (avref) as he quickly loaded up the den and pointed it south towards Bangerhome where he knew that.........

 

 

[Bryon]

Curse you Elratpoo, your nimble paws have done it again.......

 

 

[ahlocks]

..... the TurbidPlankton has been known to pay up to US$36.75 to be hung by the goolies, when he was on holidays in ..............

..the foreign land where icecream glue* was offered on the interweb by the ton()

 

"Screw that!" retorted Brine, but no one was actually sure if he was astonished , or stating an intention at the time as .......

 

*see "icecream" thread to figure out what that's all about.

 

 

[Captain]

..[/size]*see "icecream" thread to figure out what that's all about.

"You scream?" questioned Brine "That's nothing. You should have heard Tubby scream about 2 minutes after he forked over the US$36.75, but after they let him down, he ...........

 

 

[ahlocks]

.. understood what a ballzup really was.

 

 

[turboplanner]

And as Loxette brings a brilliant chapter to a halt with a full stop, Turbo wishes to congratulate the Rat on diverting our attention and grabbing #7000 with a post he'd clearly spent a month working on.

 

Turbo had just failed an audit and had been busy putting out excuses for a few days, but was back in training under a real Major who had instructed him to "Go out there, get into that $%$#$# Columbian jungle at RF, sort them out, and don't take any prisoners" whereupon he went back to watching "Days of our lives" which, as a military man he used to practise how to live a civilian life.

 

He looked up; "I", he began.........

 

 

[Captain]

And as Loxette brings a brilliant chapter to a halt with a full stop, Turbo wishes to congratulate the Rat on diverting our attention and grabbing #7000 with a post he'd clearly spent a month working on.Turbo had just failed an audit and had been busy putting out excuses for a few days, but was back in training under a real Major who had instructed him to "Go out there, get into that $%$#$# Columbian jungle at RF, sort them out, and don't take any prisoners" whereupon he went back to watching "Days of our lives" which, as a military man he used to practise how to live a civilian life.

 

He looked up; "I", he began.........

"I think that I have been in the jungle too long, as I found that photo of CheLox very erotic, and in the dark of the Columbian night, while using my trusty flashlight in my left hand, I used Chelox's photo as inspiration while I did to myself what the RAA management has been doing while (and after) the audits were failed, and I ...............

 

 

[Bryon]

"I think that I have been in the jungle too long, as I found that photo of CheLox very erotic, and in the dark of the Columbian night, while using my trusty flashlight in my left hand, I used Chelox's photo as inspiration while I did to myself what the RAA management has been doing while (and after) the audits were failed, and I ...............

....realised the muscles in my right arm were bigger than the muscles in my left arm (not that there is anything wrong with that eh Loxy? wink wink nudge nudge)

 

"You should nominate for ElPrezidente" said Elratpoo, "You appear to have all the right attributes for such a position, and I know you will.....

 

 

[turboplanner]

....kept going until the battery failed on the flashlight, and then I couldn't see a thing..........

 

Meanwhile the expedition into the roots of the Rat, Lockedsock, Brine and a few others was steadily heading north and had reached Rockhampton where the Cattlemen's Association (a former version of Men's Shed) promotes more beef eating by promoting statues of bulls. (Everyone knows we eat steak, not bulls)

 

They even have restaurants achieving "Best Steak" awards (photo 7788, but there's always someone who has to be different (photo 7789).

 

Turbo apologises that he forgot to get a photo of two metallic red bulls in North Rockhampton, which he thinks would be quite a rare breed.

 

Readers, don't be tempted by this display of Rocky Bull, Turbo's grandmother had a saying "you are what you eat", (Young Turbo had an unfortunate incident in Grade three when the teach asked "You are what you.....? , and YT put his hand up and said "Sh$t" by mistake, but got the wooden ruler)

 

NES readers, these bulls are fed on scrub, and the meat tastes like a burnt tussock and chews like a B&D accessory.

 

Even the local croc farm feeds its crocs on chicken; "the beef was grinding their teeth down too fast" said the manager

 

Luckily on the last day of research the team found a McDonalds serving real Angus beef, fed on real grass, but unfortunately the team wasn't so lucky in finding any trace of our NES ancestors.

 

Returning to the now blacked out Columbian jungle, with Rat in a state of high frustration, the drip, drip, drip of rain on the lush vegetation was interuppted by the whop, whop, whop of helicopter blades..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

....Luckily on the last day of research the team found a McDonalds serving real Angus beef, fed on real grass, but unfortunately the team wasn't so lucky in finding any trace of our NES ancestors.

Returning to the now blacked out Columbian jungle, with Rat in a state of high frustration, the drip, drip, drip of rain on the lush vegetation was interuppted by the whop, whop, whop of helicopter blades..........

.... and into sight flew the Italian Airforce, going backwards (RAA AvRef) with Flt Lieutenant Vito Genovese, covered in epaulettes and gold braid, saying "Have a U sin any decent steaks, and how do I geta this chopper out of 10th reverse, where it has been stuck since Muscles-Ini caused a bit of a stink around the Mediteranean in the 40's."

 

"Do you know why the Roman Empire's army was so successful?" asked Tubby "It was because there is no reverse gear in a chariot."

 

"That's a very funny" said Vito "I can't wait to tella my oncle that one up in Griffith, thena we'll see whose laughing, Tubbo."

 

"Wait" said Tubb "I've got a couple of blokes over in Canberra that I want your Uncle to have a chat with. They ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....want to discuss why he talks about sniffing fruit......

 

Back on the trail of Captain's ancestors, Turbo stopped off at Airlie Beach for a relief break and was confronted by this:

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

.....want to discuss why he talks about sniffing fruit......

Back on the trail of Captain's ancestors, Turbo stopped off at Airlie Beach for a relief break and was confronted by this:

"This isn't a con" he said "Those are quite nice fronts."

 

But his further attention was cut short, when in walked ...................

 

 

[turboplanner]

Major Mission with his tail dragging..............

 

 

[Captain]

Major Mission with his tail dragging..............

..... on the ground.

 

"You wouldn't believe it Tubb, old mate" said the MM "But in addition to all of the trouble at RAHQ, now I have discovered that I have worms, but I guess that's not as bad as ...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......maggots, because.....

 

Turbo had kept this quiet, but now that Major has let the cat out of the bag so to speak, Turbo has photos of his taildragging if anyone wants them.

 

 

[Captain]

.......maggots, because.....

Turbo had kept this quiet, but now that Major has let the cat out of the bag so to speak, Turbo has photos of his taildragging if anyone wants them.

.... when you drag it along, while it is a lesser problem than having to give a daily update, those maggots on Rec Flying are never satisfied, however when you drag it along in the sand you are sure to ......

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....suffer from abrasions, which Major showed me, when......

 

 

[Bryon]

.....suffer from abrasions, which Major showed me, when......

....he inadvertantly lowered his undercarriage and exposed his oleo

 

"Bloody hell' said Mavis "how did it ever get like that?"

 

"Well" said MM, "It happened when.........

 

 

[Captain]

....he inadvertantly lowered his undercarriage and exposed his oleo"Bloody hell' said Mavis "how did it ever get like that?"

 

"Well" said MM, "It happened when.........

..... we got it wrong, but don't worry as I'm going to set things right, it was a mistake, it is just a minor issue, just leave it with us and we'll fix it all up." Then to deflect the attention of the NES maggots, away from the RAA issues, the Minor's ars* dragging, & Ahlocks's leadership of the revolution (aviation engine reference) ("Viva La Revolution" because it is not very viva when the revolutions stop at height), the Minor Major added "I don't like oleo's all that much, but most NES'ers do like areolas, which give them ............

 

 

[ahlocks]

... extra drool while they sit around masticating pages of regulations to make spit balls.

 

"Weeee'll fire zee spitballs through zee pitots toobz off grounded LSAs and weeee'll smite the imperialist dogmas a mighty sticky blow when zee revolution begins... " coached elLox as he ogled a Vicky's Secret catalogue.

 

"Pass me a bras and things one" said elSalto , as he continued to chow down on.......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......a copy of "Stamps for the Connoseur" written in 1728 and worth $150,000.00 - enough to buy him a Rotract engined anything.

 

"I don't get it" said Brine as he shoved a spitball down the Rat's pitot tube "why don't we...................."