dazza 38 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 ....continually wasting his time triangulating his position between the 'burbs - turns out that all he needed was a bigger hammer and Bang-It-Holme wouldn't be an issue. So, with a curse and a grunt, Capn Jack Sparrow heaved his.... ... large member & pointed it towards..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 ...the boon-docks and Slasha the Basha with his......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 As an aside and as a friendly warning to the Bandit 12 incher and to the Bobby Dazzler 38millimetre'er, being new young NES virgins that are just appreciating the freedoms, the wilds and the guises of the NES, just please beware and do not respond to Ahlow the Predator when he sends you a PM telling you that he has lollies and wants you to come over to his place to show you his key cutting machine. Tubb still can't walk properly and the ongoing traumatic effects have made him a bit cranky, as seen in some of his recent posts re the RAA saga. (Expect to hear more during the Royal Commission). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 As an aside and as a friendly warning to the Bandit 12 incher and to the Bobby Dazzler 38millimetre'er, being new young NES virgins that are just appreciating the freedoms, the wilds and the guises of the NES, just please beware and do not respond to Ahlow the Predator when he sends you a PM telling you that he has lollies and wants you to come over to his place to show you his key cutting machine. Tubb still can't walk properly and the ongoing traumatic effects have made him a bit cranky, as seen in some of his recent posts re the RAA saga. (Expect to hear more during the Royal Commission). I will third that advice from Elratto, Turbz is still undergoing counselling and is expected to make a partial recovery If you really want to see the effects of unmitigated exposure to Ahlottheharlot, look no further than Nana, or even Andheshatoncoffs As Nana said in one of her more lucid (not that there is anything wrong with that) moments..."beware the ides of........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 I will third that advice from Elratto,Turbz is still undergoing counselling and is expected to make a partial recovery If you really want to see the effects of unmitigated exposure to Ahlottheharlot, look no further than Nana, or even Andheshatoncoffs As Nana said in one of her more lucid (not that there is anything wrong with that) moments..."beware the ides of........... ...... Thursday at about 4.26 (pm), when AhLow & his key cutting machine took me .................................................................................................................................. to the ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 .......forum where i adsum iam forte, but then, even though I've been passed from everyone including BigPete, a rat, and similar others like Brine (who had the most lovely hair), I fell for the "Let's go for a ride in my fire truck and I'll put the siren on for you" she said with a sad look into the distance. "He stopped at a dark, dingy Motel in poor repair, and overgrown with weeds to the point where you had to walk through and under the weed to get to the front door. "It was" she said with a shudder "the Rathaus Inn!" "Oh No!!!" gasped the audience............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 ......."It was" she said with a shudder "the Rathaus Inn!" "Oh No!!!" gasped the audience............... ....the Rathaus Inn....infamous for being the home of he of the deformed scrotum. His hair was patchy with mange, and his teeth dripped pus usually only seen in executive...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 .......but Turbo for once couldn't go on with the story, he was paralysed with laughter at the deadly accurate description of the Rodent by 12 Bandits. Why.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 .......but Turbo for once couldn't go on with the story, he was paralysed with laughter at the deadly accurate description of the Rodent by 12 Bandits. Why.............. ...people would mistake pus for gold is beyond his comprehension Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 ...people would mistake pus for gold is beyond his comprehension especially when Captain's pus is only worth $1.87/kilo these days. I believe that in sunny Byron Bay, one can even purchase a rat..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 especially when Captain's pus is only worth $1.87/kilo these days. I believe that in sunny Byron Bay, one can even purchase a rat..... ...... as a pet. "They are truely lovable and cute" offered AhLow the supportive "And our own cuddly version is one of the nicest rodents you would ever want to come flying with you in the SportyJauntyStar, where he adjusts the flaps with his tail." "He did that to me too." commented Nanna with fond recollection. But El Ratsack's tears were staining his keyboard, as the 12" Bandit tore into him with relish, (and some tomatoe sauce too). "What did I ever do to deserve this?" Ratty asked rhetorically, with his tooth glistening in the afternoon sun. "Well" said the Tubbster "The Bandit 12 incher might actually be the Major, and getting square for those other posts in the ..................... Mon Tante out in the jardin thought that pus is another word for kitty, and she was put in mind of the Barry Humphries art exhibition where he had a pair of gumboots filled with custard, and the work was called "Pus in Boots".. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 ..........final minutes before the Great Conflagration. But no, in his next breath he whispered "Is he a member?" and Ratsnest knew exactly who it was....or who he thought it was. "You can fool me once" he yelled (and we all knew what was coming next). Locksniff very foolishly whispered just a fraction too loud "and you can fool me again and again....." All interest in the Major was lost as the Rat lifted his lip to reveal his goldness, stretch himself up to his full height, which wasn't much and said: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 ..........final minutes before the Great Conflagration. But no, in his next breath he whispered "Is he a member?" and Ratsnest knew exactly who it was....or who he thought it was. "You can fool me once" he yelled (and we all knew what was coming next). Locksniff very foolishly whispered just a fraction too loud "and you can fool me again and again....." All interest in the Major was lost as the Rat lifted his lip to reveal his goldness, stretch himself up to his full height, which wasn't much and said: .... as a direct quote from Billy Shakespeare "If you prick me, do I not bleed; if you prick Nanna, does she not like it; if you prick Salty, does he not ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 ........cry "RAT!, you little bastard, you've done it AGAIN!" But already the Rat had lost his concentration and forgotten about the horrendous exposure of someone who had been pulling the strings (particularly Rat's) all along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 ........cry "RAT!, you little bastard, you've done it AGAIN!"But already the Rat had lost his concentration and forgotten about the horrendous exposure of someone who had been pulling the strings (particularly Rat's) all along. The Rat Puppet Master, or Turbo Charged Wiener Schnitzel as he is known behind his back, soon tired of pulling the Rat's worn strings, and set his sights on the Bandit. "About 12 inches should be ample..." he mused to himself, as he unreeled his..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 ...forty footer, and..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 ...forty footer, and..... ......proceeded to try and reform the deformed scrotum of he who resides in the Ratthaus in waggle waggle. "leave him be" said Nana, "His scrotum is just the right shape to fit into my.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 ...cupped hands. Ratsack was enjoying all this attention to his.... ummm, sack until..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 until....the mini minor was reminded that there was a rodenticide called Ratsack and by inference it must do horrible things to ones sack if your a rat, to the point that suddenly theres no point in continuing to live....... The mini Minor was smarting over this whole "Grubby Meeting" and thought a bit of RatSack in el capitano's direction may just avert some of those tough questions about a momentry lapse in resignation...... "Yes" he though I'll grab a box of that stuff and dream up a cunning plan that will have me....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 "....attending the meeting with my membership number stencilled across my chest in peuce, and a full set of photos of me, showing the number, from all angles, and then I'll...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 "....attending the meeting with my membership number stencilled across my chest in peuce, and a full set of photos of me, showing the number, from all angles, and then I'll...." .... have my membership number tattooed on my inner arm." "But that will make you look like an inmate from Bergen-Belsen" said Turpsy. "What's wrong with that, .... my boy?" replied Ratty "That's better that being an inmate from Moorabbin-BangeHolme, and proving you are a member is certainly better that having the entire "Co" tattooed on your member (refer post # 7062 for those who are new or who can't remember past last Thursday)." "Well" said AndySh@ "I never" (and it turned out that he never had, either), so the 12 Incher and Brine got together and offered AndySh@inhishat a ........................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 .........Sh@tered tuckerbox where he sh@ for years just staring out at the highway. "What are you looking at Ash@," asked Loxette "Cats are quiet" said Fly in the opintment, and........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 .........Sh@tered tuckerbox where he sh@ for years just staring out at the highway. "What are you looking at Ash@," asked Loxette "Cats are quiet" said Fly in the opintment, and........... ...... that cat over there only has one eye." "That cat is walking away from you" said Laxette "And ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 ....."And I'm not surprised either. After all, a rat barely measures 12 inches from head to tail - hardly impressive " said Laxette. "Now the Bandit, he measures 12 inches from....." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 ....."And I'm not surprised either. After all, a rat barely measures 12 inches from head to tail - hardly impressive " said Laxette. "Now the Bandit, he measures 12 inches from....." ........ Tuesday to Friday, and sometimes also during a Saturday morning lie-in (same like Laxette does, before he takes his hanger out to his hangar [avref]), but the Bandit12"er's big problem is that this causes his brain to be starved of blood for more that half a week, which causes ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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