Captain Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 ...three eyes and two noses, not to mention the toes... "No, sorry Tomo the Homosapian, Turbo may have been up that way earlier this year, but he is not from Queen'sisland" said the Bandit-with-a-Big'un. "Yeah, and who is the dick that reckons I am part of some magic mushroom dream? So let me tell ya that I am real, mate, no worries." said the Painted Lady with a rather unladylike tone and inflection. "That's bull-from-bone" explained the Big-un "And he's not a dick, he's a Richard (one of Thomas's big engined mates) and he's ..................... PS - Bull overhead Bone (aviation reference and diagram). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 .......back in Bone after being out of Bone, and within minutes he was overhead Bone (see Rat's aviation diagramme above), and we all hope he eventually retrains himself to write again after the experience bull had with the bull buffalo that bulldozed bull into the rullrushes where bull had been having ............................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 .......back in Bone after being out of Bone, and within minutes he was overhead Bone (see Rat's aviation diagramme above), and we all hope he eventually retrains himself to write again after the experience bull had with the bull buffalo that bulldozed bull into the rullrushes where bull had been having ............................. ...... a quickie with Cleopatra. "Geeeez bull, these bullrushes chafe don't they, but oh dear bull, don't rush in the bullrushes, in fact take your time ................. like flying your tyronejackacricket into a 30 knot headwind." "Oh, Cleo, am I better than Mark-Anthony?" he asked in the height of passion. "Sorry to tell you this, bull darling, but it was actually Mark AND Tony and they both played for the Broncos." "I love it when you talk dirty" bull replied "So say Tyronejackacricket again and push a little .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 "I love it when you talk dirty" bull replied "So say Tyronejackacricket again and push a little .................. "....on the stick, just enough to unload it but not so much as to send me into negative g(asp)!". Telly Turbo looked on disdainfully as the Bull laid spent on the bed of pine needles "You call that a performance old boy? You should see when I hook up with Nanna, there is no limit to what we...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 "....on the stick, just enough to unload it but not so much as to send me into negative g(asp)!". Telly Turbo looked on disdainfully as the Bull laid spent on the bed of pine needles "You call that a performance old boy? You should see when I hook up with Nanna, there is no limit to what we...... ... can achieve. Barrel Rolls (depending on who is in the barrel at the time), inverted loops (Nanna's favourite), the bullrush himmelmann (Cleo's favourite), the knifedge CPA (Tink's favourite), the rodent nibble (Ratty's specialty), the "key" in the "lock" which AHchoo is quite good at (even with a female), the scotch in the bottle (with which Brine has some trouble), the Coffs missionary (which Andy does in the back of his 230) and Bandit12"er's coup de gras, the ......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 ... can achieve. Barrel Rolls (depending on who is in the barrel at the time), inverted loops (Nanna's favourite), the bullrush himmelmann (Cleo's favourite), the knifedge CPA (Tink's favourite), the rodent nibble (Ratty's specialty), the "key" in the "lock" which AHchoo is quite good at (even with a female), the scotch in the bottle (with which Brine has some trouble), the Coffs missionary (which Andy does in the back of his 230) and Bandit12"er's coup de gras, the ......................... ...size does not matter (commonly known by Nanna and Mavis as the Wee Willie Show) manouver in which the lucky wench chosen to partake in this aerial conjugation is given a detailed briefing in .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 ...size does not matter (commonly known by Nanna and Mavis as the Wee Willie Show) manouver in which the lucky wench chosen to partake in this aerial conjugation is given a detailed briefing in .................. .... freeing Wee Willie, which is also known as ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 a whale of a problem. Wee is a relative description and its true that an Orca is wee when compared to say the ocean in which he lives...but when compared to the MTOW of a Tyrojackacriket we can see that freeing Willie when in flight was as likely as...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 a whale of a problem. Wee is a relative description and its true that an Orca is wee when compared to say the ocean in which he lives...but when compared to the MTOW of a Tyrojackacriket we can see that freeing Willie when in flight was as likely as...... ....finding the correct MOTOW sticker on RatsHairySack! "But I just wanna fly!" cried Bronchitus Andrew. "My Aunt offered to take you for a fly" replied the Rodent, "But on one condition. You have to.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 "Be careful Big'un" said El Ratpoo "As that MOTOW sticker has been attached with Tarzan's Grip and that sack is fragile and damaged from over-use." "Mon Tante will take you for a fly in AHchoo's Szara if you sign her book with her plume, out in the jardin, and drop your dacks" added the Rat "As thank goodness for another post in another thread, which proves that the twelve incher is a bloke with a legally qualified lady as his wife ................ or has gay marriage been legislated in Mextoria and the Twelve Incher might be a lady with short hair and lots of tats (not that there is anything wrong with that)." 'If that is the case, I reckon I can get her to jump back over the fence" said Ahchoo, who fancied his prowess, not only as an aviatrix, but also as a ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 "Be careful Big'un" said El Ratpoo "As that MOTOW sticker has been attached with Tarzan's Grip and that sack is fragile and damaged from over-use." "Mon Tante will take you for a fly in AHchoo's Szara if you sign her book with her plume, out in the jardin, and drop your dacks" added the Rat "As thank goodness for another post in another thread, which proves that the twelve incher is a bloke with a legally qualified lady as his wife ................ or has gay marriage been legislated in Mextoria and the Twelve Incher might be a lady with short hair and lots of tats (not that there is anything wrong with that)." 'If that is the case, I reckon I can get her to jump back over the fence" said Ahchoo, who fancied his prowess, not only as an aviatrix, but also as a ................ ....crossdressing lady and temporary tatts afficienado". You see, AhMyJocks has a very low pain threshold, and once fainted after being bitten on the *#%^& by a..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 .......Ronald McDonald statue in the main street of Wycheprufe. There were stories about how he got his *#%^& into that position but nothing was ever proved. However Head Up His Ass has found new evidence in the form of a You Tube Video featuring John Travolta in the film "They got away" "He's right" said Cardigan, I've seen the film too, and you people who say it isn't true are naughty!" "Well f...................................." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 .......Ronald McDonald statue in the main street of Wycheprufe.There were stories about how he got his *#%^& into that position but nothing was ever proved. However Head Up His Ass has found new evidence in the form of a You Tube Video featuring John Travolta in the film "They got away" "He's right" said Cardigan, I've seen the film too, and you people who say it isn't true are naughty!" "Well, f...................................." ... unny you should say that" he added "As Macca has a new film out, titled "They should be permitted to get away with it, without criticism". "I hear that it has set record crowds in Townsville and in Tazzy, in the suburbs of CanBloodyBerra, where the crouds mainly consist of ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 ... unny you should say that" he added "As Macca has a new film out, titled "They should be permitted to get away with it, without criticism". "I hear that it has set record crowds in Townsville and in Tazzy, in the suburbs of CanBloodyBerra, where the crouds mainly consist of ............... ...one person running around in circles outside the RAAUUSS HQ in protest at the lack of information forthcoming from that edifice. "Well I'll be jiggered" said ........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 ...one person running around in circles outside the RAAUUSS HQ in protest at the lack of information forthcoming from that edifice."Well I'll be jiggered" said ........ ..... said dodo "As that must be me." "And if you are not down there doing that you should not be writing in the NES. You'ze are dithpicable" added McMacca (with fries & a frappé ) while doing a Thylvethter the Cat imperthonatthion. "Wow" thaid Andy (who picked up acthents vewy qwickwy), as he filled yet another hat "I'll be there on Feb 9th and then we'll .............. PS - Ma tante said well done to Salty as she hadn't seen the word "jiggered" used in a sentence for yonks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 "...........thick the dogth on to them" "I am not a dog" said Donald Rumpole "Yeth you are thhitty" thaid said And he thatelite "You've all been recruited by George W" said HUHA "Oh dear!" said McScarcasm "Move along" said the skinny security man, but Rat recognised him as................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 "...........thick the dogth on to them""I am not a dog" said Donald Rumpole "Yeth you are thhitty" thaid said And he thatelite "You've all been recruited by George W" said HUHA "Oh dear!" said McScarcasm "Move along" said the skinny security man, but Rat recognised him as................. McJockStrap, who was working another job to pay for the next rebuild to his 912. However then the Rodent realised that what JockStrap was saying was "Move along, there is nothing to be seen here" and it occurred to him that McJockChoo is either another Jedi or is Luke Skywalker in a rather poor disguise. And it occurred to your diligent Rat that there is a section at the back of the SportyJauntyStar to take an R2D2 made out of VB cans and that is why Loxy kept making that beep-twerp-beep noises in his David Clarks (the Rat originally thought that it was jusy because Loxy was a twerp, himself ..... for not taking Ratty for another fly). So, in the full Xmas spirit, (with a bit of eczma too around the bits that chafe) Ratty has allocated the following characters to our beloved NES contributors .......... or just grab one if you think that you have the right attributes ...................: Darth Vader - Tubby (just ask Macca) Luke - Ahchoo (Our hero) The Wookie - The 12 incher (as it would be hidden by all that fur). Han Solo - Brynylon (another handsome hero). R2D2 - bull (our loyal companion and R2 doesn't have a clue about punctuation, either). The Death Ray - The Hat Shitter (Just wait for the meeting on Feb 9th). Obi-Wan Kenobi - Eeeeeeen A cute little Ewok - Ratty. That creepy bloke from the Sith - Nanna Count Dooku - Nobu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 And so the team reformed once again to fight the aliens which had attacked the Earth Fleet with a mysterious substance which left them grounded. As Ozzie sat there, his aircraft (we'll be kind since it is Christmas Day) locked to the ground, and Don'tSlartme was gnashing his teeth as he scraped the last of the dirt from the underside of the Morris Minor, they looked up to see the amazing fleet of intergalactic craft streaking for the smelly cave where the aliens hung out. Many pilgrims had gone there before, looking for wisdom, but none had ever found it, it was called Macca....................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 And so the team reformed once again to fight the aliens which had attacked the Earth Fleet with a mysterious substance which left them grounded.As Ozzie sat there, his aircraft (we'll be kind since it is Christmas Day) locked to the ground, and Don'tSlartme was gnashing his teeth as he scraped the last of the dirt from the underside of the Morris Minor, they looked up to see the amazing fleet of intergalactic craft streaking for the smelly cave where the aliens hung out. Many pilgrims had gone there before, looking for wisdom, but none had ever found it, it was called Macca....................... .... a star which occasionally burped forth poisonous gasses, then said "Sorry, I only did that to make youze wake up to youze selves, and that gas isn't poisonous after all, I'm really a good star." "Well up yours" responded Tink, who always stayed staunch, and sent a coded message to our favourite members of the Magnificenti Moderatti "Beep-Twerp-twerp-beep zonk-twerrp". To which AhLox replied "..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 ........ppppppppppppppprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttttttttttt" He'd thought he could save money this Christmaas by buying a Turkey well past it's stamped use by date. "They allow plenty of time he'd said to Mrs Lox" However the rest of the fleet launched successfully, and were now headed for that evil burping star where.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 ........ppppppppppppppprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttttttttttt"He'd thought he could save money this Christmaas by buying a Turkey well past it's stamped use by date. "They allow plenty of time he'd said to Mrs Lox" However the rest of the fleet launched successfully, and were now headed for that evil burping star where.......... ........... the faded McMaccas star was continuing to resile from his previous position "I wasn't really spewing poinsonous gas, it was just a little wind after I injested baked beans and digested what the Executive had been saying about yez all." But at that point it struck your beloved Rodent that the TurbidPlonker and Ratpoo were continuing to post, lonely as a cloud, to the NES while all other regulars were either doing family stuff, or having a Christmas morning special with their significant other (not that there is anything wrong with that), and with the Bandit Twelve Incher probably having a foot in both camps (tee hee), it just proves that ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Isn't it the way.....one minute Darth Vader, heading for the burping star, next minute the local air supply shop, asked to blow up a Palm Tree pool spray, which blew over, until Darth re-read the instructions which said to fill the base with water, which then made it too heavy to carry to the car to make its trunk stiffer, and then to turn on the water spray which naturally missed the kid and covered Darth with freezing water.................and then.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Isn't it the way.....one minute Darth Vader, heading for the burping star, next minute the local air supply shop, asked to blow up a Palm Tree pool spray, which blew over, until Darth re-read the instructions which said to fill the base with water, which then made it too heavy to carry to the car to make its trunk stiffer, and then to turn on the water spray which naturally missed the kid and covered Darth with freezing water.................and then.................. ...... Darth proved that he has moved on from killing Evinrudes to the extermination of pool Palm Trees and almost related kiddies ........ but he decided that he is still capable of maintaining his own aircraft, and ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 ......had carefully preflighted the Jabiu powered mercury vapour reactor powered spacecraft, and was following in a handy position in the Earth Fleet among Luke - Ahchoo (Our hero), The Wookie - now with a six incher after the launch, Han Solo - Brynylon (another handsome hero), R2D2 - bull (our loyal companion and R2 doesn't have a clue about punctuation), The Death Ray - The Hat Shitter (Just wait for the meeting on Feb 9th), Obi-Wan Kenobi - Eeeeeeen, A cute little Ewok - Ratty, That creepy bloke from the Sith - Nanna, Count Dooku - Nobu, and with the recently joined Ozzietheflying Lilo in his No 8 wire strainer, SlartiOrangeFestival, Jabsp6engines, Flying Vision, Alfie, and Poteroowitha308. For first time formation flyers they were doing quite well except for Obi-Wan who was all over the place, SlartiOrangeFestival who was gazing at himself in a mirror, and the Death Ray who was starting to stream a brown cloud, when Darth Vader's engine went booooom! and through bolts started to float through space like twinkling little stars. "I'll................." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 ......had carefully preflighted the Jabiu powered mercury vapour reactor powered spacecraft, and was following in a handy position in the Earth Fleet among Luke - Ahchoo (Our hero),The Wookie - now with a six incher after the launch, Han Solo - Brynylon (another handsome hero), R2D2 - bull (our loyal companion and R2 doesn't have a clue about punctuation), The Death Ray - The Hat Shitter (Just wait for the meeting on Feb 9th), Obi-Wan Kenobi - Eeeeeeen, A cute little Ewok - Ratty, That creepy bloke from the Sith - Nanna, Count Dooku - Nobu, and with the recently joined Ozzietheflying Lilo in his No 8 wire strainer, SlartiOrangeFestival, Jabsp6engines, Flying Vision, Alfie, and Poteroowitha308. For first time formation flyers they were doing quite well except for Obi-Wan who was all over the place, SlartiOrangeFestival who was gazing at himself in a mirror, and the Death Ray who was starting to stream a brown cloud, when Darth Vader's engine went booooom! and through bolts started to float through space like twinkling little stars. "I'll................." ........ use the Force, and SloppyButtCrack's orange pussy to eek out an advantage, as I am the great Darthy and I can do whatever I want." But just at that time, Tubby's new ASIC card arrived and while expecting his usual photo that made him look like an inmate in Jika Jika, he realised that he was actually dressed like Dark Helmet from Spaceballs (see below). "Erky Perky" said Nanna "And to think that I was about to give myself to you, after saving myself for the past hour," "Oh ............................ I don't know" said Mavis "As I have always thought that Rick Moranis was hot, ever since I saw him as the Key-Master in Ghost-Busters, so come here Tubby and show Mave your ................................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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