The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

than Cecil Plains after an evening meal.

 

"I know" said the Shire President (who wasn't really the Shire President), we'll build a huge concrete hat, invite Andy to fill it, and build an Ice Cream Parlour and Banana Shake Shack next door."

 

"Er there could be a marketing issue with that" said BestPete, "and not only that but you.............."

 

 

[Pilot Pete]

.......would find that the Big Shat Hat would take all the business away from the other shops. Selling souvineers such as a sh.t on a stick, sticky sh.t on a blanket and skid marked undies would be more of draw card then a shop full of bannanas

 

 

[turboplanner]

"With the greatest of respect, you would require a corporate structure to do this" said Dave "first you need a President, that's me. Then you need a Board of Directors, that's me mates. Then you need a Board Room big enough to hold a slate billiard table, wine cellar, bar, kitchen, Chef, and two maids for jobs.

 

So the President tells the Board and, er, well then you need a CEO and then he needs senior managers so he can tell them what the board told him to do and the senior managers of course can't be hands on and will require BMW's since all senior managers have them so after they spend the month or so buying their cars they'll need to employ a Tourism Manager, Business Development Manager, Marketing Manager, Brands Specialist, Financial Controller, Franchise Manager, Hat advisor, Ecological and Grounds Manager, Food Inspector and so on" (Dave had never run a business)", then they'll need staff to do the work of course - certainly none of us can be expected to do it and put up with the stink."

 

And the good Andy said in a rather bemused tone "All I wanted to do was Cr$ap, and.................."

 

 

[Captain]

"With the greatest of respect, you would require a corporate structure to do this" said Dave "first you need a President, that's me. Then you need a Board of Directors, that's me mates. Then you need a Board Room big enough to hold a slate billiard table, wine cellar, bar, kitchen, Chef, and two maids for jobs.So the President tells the Board and, er, well then you need a CEO and then he needs senior managers so he can tell them what the board told him to do and the senior managers of course can't be hands on and will require BMW's since all senior managers have them so after they spend the month or so buying their cars they'll need to employ a Tourism Manager, Business Development Manager, Marketing Manager, Brands Specialist, Financial Controller, Franchise Manager, Hat advisor, Ecological and Grounds Manager, Food Inspector and so on" (Dave had never run a business)", then they'll need staff to do the work of course - certainly none of us can be expected to do it and put up with the stink."

 

And the good Andy said in a rather bemused tone "All I wanted to do was Cr$ap, and.................."

...... get my rocks off checking thru-bolts and flywheel socket headed capscrews, (not to mention making sure that my rotor buttons are tight)."

 

"I thought that you said not to mention that" said the CASA Inspector from behind the dunny door in the hangar next door.

 

"Then ........ ping. Something flew across the hangar with great force."

 

"Was that one of AhMilosovic's rivets, was it a thru bolt, was it one of Tink's head studs of his EvenRuder, or has Brine polished the end off his?" asked the concerned Techman.

 

"We don't have one of them at the moment, and Tizz finishes today (yippee), so RAA is a bit short on the management front" commented both Bess & Pete.

 

"Well the Bandit isn't short, if he is indeed measured imperially, but he is a bit short on the ................

 

 

[Bryon]

...... get my rocks off checking thru-bolts and flywheel socket headed capscrews, (not to mention making sure that my rotor buttons are tight)."

"I thought that you said not to mention that" said the CASA Inspector from behind the dunny door in the hangar next door.

 

"Then ........ ping. Something flew across the hangar with great force."

 

"Was that one of AhMilosovic's rivets, was it a thru bolt, was it one of Tink's head studs of his EvenRuder, or has Brine polished the end off his?" asked the concerned Techman.

 

"We don't have one of them at the moment, and Tizz finishes today (yippee), so RAA is a bit short on the management front" commented both Bess & Pete.

 

"Well the Bandit isn't short, if he is indeed measured imperially, but he is a bit short on the ................

...uptake, which means that Nana is.....

 

 

[Captain]

...uptake, which means that Nana is.....

...... needing to stop being subtle in her attempts to lure the 12 incher away from his missus.

 

"Don't worry about the fact that she has legal training and a 9 mm Glock" said Nanna "I want me a 12 inch Toy-Boy who can breath through his ears, wear panties and a bra (Be a lumberjack and be OK), fly a recycled beer can, who has enough coin to buy an Alpha 160 or a SportyJauntyStar, and who can put out my fire each time it ignites .......................... oooooh aaaaah" she added "I think I have also just described McAHSocksinhisjocks as well as the lovely BanditBig'un, so why don't the 3 of us meet up half way between Gumly Public and Oakleigh, find a tree to lean against and have a .............

 

My Aunt is skinny dipping in the pool in her garden today in 43 degree heat and she hopes that if a fire starts, PoxyLoxy is better at putting our the embers than he is at Locksmiffing or Moderating Magnificently.

 

 

[turboplanner]

"........eucalyptus rub."

 

 

[Captain]

"........eucalyptus rub."

.... with Tea Tree oil applied to .............

 

 

[Bandit12]

.... with Tea Tree oil applied to .............

.....AhJock's Jaunty little.....

 

 

[Captain]

.....AhJock's Jaunty little.....

.... rivet, ..................... and as rivets do when handled properly it got bigger ............ & filled the ............

 

 

[Bandit12]

.... rivet, ..................... and as rivets do when handled properly it got bigger ............ & filled the ............

....Rat's heart with warmth and happiness at the sight of Loxy's expanding rivet.

 

"Praise the Lord" exclaimed the Rodent "And pass me my beer. For today has been a wonderous day of achievement. Our exalted leader, the Tizz, is no more and Loxy popped a good one. Someone ring Tubbie and tell him the good news, and also that....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......the NES still exists.

 

Turbo slowly awoke from his dream in which there was a great gnashing of teeth, as the hordes of Spartans overcame the evil Hyksos barricaded inside a pillar of stone where they spake among each other in tongues, and anointed each other with brylcreen their chief had saved from days when he had hair.

 

"Lizard?" he exclaimed "I'll get him!" and he broke out the 12 gauge, and then he saw Andy'sHat overflowing with...................

 

 

[Captain]

.......the NES still exists.Turbo slowly awoke from his dream in which there was a great gnashing of teeth, as the hordes of Spartans overcame the evil Hyksos barricaded inside a pillar of stone where they spake among each other in tongues, and anointed each other with brylcreen their chief had saved from days when he had hair.

 

"Lizard?" he exclaimed "I'll get him!" and he broke out the 12 gauge, and then he saw Andy'sHat overflowing with...................

..... serpents.

 

"No mate" said Andy "My hat overfloweth with love and understanding (and a few spare thru-bolt nuts.... plus I always keep a spare torque wrench in there too, just in case)."

 

"Oh ..... and I'm-a not-a payin no more-a tax-a before I get-a my pension at 45" said the evil Hyksos, who was mentioned in early Grick writings by Pliny the Elder, Wanka the Younger, Bull the Punctuator, Brine the Salty, Pete the Greedy, Sprite(ah) the Lemonade, Bandy the Donger, Pete the Be(a)sstial, and AhLox the Moderator to Eeeen the Owner.

 

"Are those brown snakes?" asked Hyky, (while examining the hat closely) who had also lead the movement against the European bailout of the Grik banks back in 95 AD and was about to make his booking to head to Canberrra for the EGM "I have been anointed by Tubby to handle the questions about the accounts where he reckons that they might be 666 million drachmas short (at recent exchange rates) and he also reckons that the contents of the Shat'ers hat will be worth ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....the same as Hyky's story, namely..........

 

 

[Captain]

.....the same as Hyky's story, namely..........

...... gold, Gold, Gold ....... as Norman May so famously called at the Grik Olympics, where Hyksy had hired the Parthanon for a private shindig when he was in charge of ...............

 

The pen of my Aunt is out in the garden toting up the number of "likes" that Turbs has, and given that he can be a cranky bugger at times when forum members don't respond appropriately to his cryptic messages, the only conclusion that my Aunt could come to is that Turbs has been "liking" himself, and that must be to the point of extreme chafing and irritation only previously seen when Tink was a young boy at boarding school..

 

 

[turboplanner]

...Coytes.........

 

 

[Captain]

...Coytes.........

.... and wink, wink added Hyksy "He doesn't mean those rope things that Nanna throws as foreplay over the Bandit's ............................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Well known measurement.

 

you know said andy, complete with hat, if hyksy is a specialist in none rope coytes we could probably use him at ULcentrals EGM, we have a few of those in charge and a specialist handler might be just what we need......Turdy thought that was a brilliant idea and suggested that a new thread or perhaps 5 be immediately started with obscure names to protect the intent on Eens fancy bulletin boards. In fact Turbdy was on a roll and also.........

 

 

[Captain]

Well known measurement.

you know said andy, complete with hat, if hyksy is a specialist in none rope coytes we could probably use him at ULcentrals EGM, we have a few of those in charge and a specialist handler might be just what we need......Turdy thought that was a brilliant idea and suggested that a new thread or perhaps 5 be immediately started with obscure names to protect the intent on Eens fancy bulletin boards. In fact Turbdy was on a roll and also.........

.... he had to roll to disguise the fact that he fell over a lot when he got livid that forumites didn't latch on to his subtle .............

 

My Aunt just checked her Cyclopedia, out there in the garden, and used her pen to check out "Hyksos", ..... and she has just discovered that your dopy but lovable Rodent thought that Hyksos was a Greek bloke (one goat etc), and in doing so he has denigrated an entire race of Semitic peoples who taught the Egyptians how to suck eggs & probably how to build pointy stone things. The Rodent offers his sincere apologies to my Aunt and all of the decendants of the Hyksos, of whom he suspects that Tink may be one (he is so good with the accounts) .... don't ya know.

 

 

[turboplanner]

...humour like wun (sp.) and wun makes tue, and......

 

 

[Captain]

...humour like wun (sp.) and wun makes tue, and......

..... and 2008 + 2009 + 2010 + 2011 + 2012 = 2 million, before ....................

 

 

[turboplanner]

..........Turbo had realised it, the Rat had popped out a Sumerian algrythm based on the timeless rotation of the stars, and like his ancestors had realised there was a huge block hole in the universe, and a piece of the pie he deserved and was going to get back from the evil empire.

 

He grabbed for his light sabre....and said "SH$T!" - he'd learn to switch it off before touching the sabre next time, when........

 

 

[Captain]

..........Turbo had realised it, the Rat had popped out a Sumerian algrythm based on the timeless rotation of the stars, and like his ancestors had realised there was a huge block hole in the universe, and a piece of the pie he deserved and was going to get back from the evil empire.

He grabbed for his light sabre....and said "SH$T!" - he'd learn to switch it off before touching the sabre next time, when........

.... he realised that the sabre had cut of the 2 fingers that Mrs Rat found most useful.

 

"Geez" said the lovable Rodent "I'm in strife now, as grabbing your Light Sabre is a bit like leaving both switches on while turning your prop over (or being a communicative RAA Board Member). It's great fun to live dangerously, but as the Hyksos so often found, and said in the tablets that they left in Thebes, "If you want to keep all your fingers, don't ......................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"...stick them in the dyke."

 

 

[Captain]

"...stick them in the dyke."

..... (not that there is anything wrong with that) as Dykes fullfilled a very important function in Hyksos and Battlestar society, and that was that they ..............