Captain Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 keen eye spot a half empty gin bottle protruding from Mavis's.... .... soft spot. "Gin, whiskey or Drambuie, it matters not a jot" said Salty "As it all helps the fuglies, like El Ratsack (and E Paul Ette), to obtain the chance to procreate, which saves them from having to .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 .... soft spot. "Gin, whiskey or Drambuie, it matters not a jot" said Salty "As it all helps the fuglies, like El Ratsack (and E Paul Ette), to obtain the chance to procreate, which saves them from having to .......... ....serve sauteed onions with a side of cheap blended scotch. Which in my opinion is worth more than double what Tub's opinion is of Rat's hair product choices. "I know all about hair products" said Mavis "Have a look at this hair removal gel Ratty, it is just what you need for.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 ....serve sauteed onions with a side of cheap blended scotch. Which in my opinion is worth more than double what Tub's opinion is of Rat's hair product choices. "I know all about hair products" said Mavis "Have a look at this hair removal gel Ratty, it is just what you need for.... ....... a clean look "down there". "I am already that way" commented e Paulette, who is from Brazil, so "Obrigardo to yez all". (She is called "e" Paulette as she is actually the 12 incher's internet girlfriend .... so yes, he is tragic, even with a footlong). "I like being his imaginary "e" friend" said Paulette (who is actually a pimply 45 year old bloke from Tasmania (NTTIAWWT) who hasn't had a shower since he had his TIF with the Fakir "Because the footlong has sent me a couple of sext messages and I can vouch for the fact that it really is ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 ....... a clean look "down there". "I am already that way" commented e Paulette, who is from Brazil, so "Obrigardo to yez all". (She is called "e" Paulette as she is actually the 12 incher's internet girlfriend .... so yes, he is tragic, even with a footlong). "I like being his imaginary "e" friend" said Paulette (who is actually a pimply 45 year old bloke from Tasmania (NTTIAWWT) who hasn't had a shower since he had his TIF with the Fakir "Because the footlong has sent me a couple of sext messages and I can vouch for the fact that it really is ................... ....better to use Testicultra tha Craptus for coverage in the out back. Just ask Nobu who has............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 ....better to use Testicultra tha Craptus for coverage in the out back. Just ask Nobu who has............ ..... the coverage of a ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 TO ALL NES CONTRIBUTORS, I am not sure that you all appreciate just how widely read the NES is, or how famous are the Turbid Plunger and AhgetyourRoxOff. On returning from the bike races at Phillip Island yesterday, your devoted Rodent did a double take about half way back to Wagga X 2 when he saw the signpost to the town of Locksley and then, not long after say the sign beside the expressway naming Tubb Hill. Your servant, The Rat, can only assume that these locations have been renamed in honour of our associates for Australia Day and the NES is being widely read by central Mextorians. And I'm buggered if I know why Ita got the gong as skippy of the year when the 12-incher made himself available for selection. (That's like leaving Mike Hussey out of the one day side). Regards Ratty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Turbo in all modesty had asked Placenames Victoria not to divulge the honour given to him for helping a poor pensioner lady push her Monaro up over the said hill in order to get food home for her starving children, and in fact the name "Lockup" was established as a result of the said Locksley going to town every Saturday night, and having so much influence on the town's population whether they be male, female or anyone else who didn't get out of his way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 For Robin of Locksley had, verily, been super quiet as he lurked around the forums (fora?) in preparation for his tomorrow big Saturday lie in, where he intends to mimic the 12-incher if Robin's heart is up to it. Robin thought a little, bought Mrs Locksley a Batgirl suit, rubbed his hands together and said ".................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 hope this doesnt come with hendra virus...Those media peopel keep going on about how you shouldnt touch a bat if its on the ground........Beings as he was a smart guy, as compared to a fence post, he wondered if on the bed was the same as on the ground....... The urge! overcame any sense of self preservation, he mutter ah F&ckit and then proceeded to.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 hope this doesnt come with hendra virus...Those media peopel keep going on about how you shouldnt touch a bat if its on the ground........Beings as he was a smart guy, as compared to a fence post, he wondered if on the bed was the same as on the ground....... The urge! overcame any sense of self preservation, he mutter ah F&ckit and then proceeded to.......... ....perform as usual .................................. and do what Batgirl told him to do." "What are you two doing?" asked Henrietta Hendra. "G'day HH" replied Locksley, while on the job, "This is better than reciting my 9 times tables while I wait for Batgirl, so what are you doing here, in the ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 ....perform as usual .................................. and do what Batgirl told him to do." "What are you two doing?" asked Henrietta Hendra. "G'day HH" replied Locksley, while on the job, "This is better than reciting my 9 times tables while I wait for Batgirl, so what are you doing here, in the ................ ....waiting room for the RA-Aus special general meeting. "I do hope that you are a paid up member Hendra" queried LongLocks, "You know that if you aren't, you will be automatically nominated for Prez." Hendra pondered this for a moment, before replying "I'll have to check with the Telly Tubby, he is managing my financial affairs at the moment and I am worried that there may be a skeleton or two in the closet...." This reminded the rodent of the need to check the closet in the Rathaus - he really doesn't want anyone to find the...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 .... This reminded the rodent of the need to check the closet in the Rathaus - he really doesn't want anyone to find the...... .......... TurboPlunger in there. Tink had been playing hide and seek with Doubtfire and the last thing the cleaners heard him say was "Count to 20 Constable, darling, (NTTIAWWT) and if you find me you can "have" me ............................................................................................. I'll be in the closet". But Doubtfire received a callout to an apparent breakin at PoxyLoxy's hangar (AhLow had been trying to open the door for 30 minutes) and Tink is still in the dark, holding his ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 ....eating the Rat's minties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 ....eating the Rat's minties ............ ... while wearing a Prince Albert and a ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 ... while wearing a Prince Albert and a ............. ....dirty monocle over his left eye. "I'm a dapper, modern day pirate with nice smelling breath" declared Loxy. "Really?" exclaimed Tubby, "Seems to me that the only thing that smells here is..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 ....dirty monocle over his left eye. "I'm a dapper, modern day pirate with nice smelling breath" declared Loxy. "Really?" exclaimed Tubby, "Seems to me that the only thing that smells here is..... that 3rd bush from the right...It smells of dog p!ss from where that mogrel Gaveen constantly takes a leak in Winthrop WA.......... Now look here yelled Riley of Loxwa, what has that got to do with anything we are discussing! no...nothing.... they conceeded..... while sheepishly moving about foot to foot....Well get back in that cupboard and.................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 that 3rd bush from the right...It smells of dog p!ss from where that mogrel Gaveen constantly takes a leak in Winthrop WA.......... Now look here yelled Riley of Loxwa, what has that got to do with anything we are discussing! no...nothing.... they conceeded..... while sheepishly moving about foot to foot....Well get back in that cupboard and.................... ....for heavens sake, dont forget to iron the flying suit and straighten the epaulettes. We dont want you looking like........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 ....for heavens sake, dont forget to iron the flying suit and straighten the epaulettes. We dont want you looking like........... ...... a Tazzy CFI (but not the Fukir ... NTTIAWWT) because that will mean that you can't add ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Maj Millard Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 "An airborne python hit in the head by a through-bolt".................holy Shxx he said, hope that damn Jaburu engine shop in Bunderburg is not under water !....They called the well known 'snakegirl' from Airlie beach, she's known for hanging around with pilots, and in particular Capt Mark the renown Beaver............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 "An airborne python hit in the head by a through-bolt".................holy Shxx he said, hope that damn Jaburu engine shop in Bunderburg is not under water !....They called the well known 'snakegirl' from Airlie beach, she's known for hanging around with pilots, and in particular Capt Mark the renown Beaver............ ....... Pilot & specialist. "Did someone say "Beaver" and was a "SnakeGirl mentioned?" aksed the Bandit-footlong as he rushed to meet her. And when he finally came face to face with SnakeGirl the 12 incher said "Wow, that's just like looking at myself in the mirror, before I ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Maj Millard Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Snakegirl took the large python in hand as she so often did, often at 3am in the morning when the large pythons were know to be active, especially around hen houses. Mark the Beaver expert (aka 'flyby') said I'm over snakegirl now as he............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Snakegirl took the large python in hand as she so often did, often at 3am in the morning when the large pythons were know to be active, especially around hen houses. Mark the Beaver expert (aka 'flyby') said I'm over snakegirl now as he............ ...... prepared to depart en-route to Montpellier Airpark. "Eeet is a pain in ze neck going zer" he said "As the Languedoc-Roussillon Customs guys give us grief each time we arrive and that sector across the Indina Ocena stretches the Lightwing's fuel range a little, but zen again, each time I make zee trip zee leetle french maidens give me a .................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Lovely-tour-of-maggie-island-,and-they-show-me-their........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Lovely-tour-of-maggie-island-,and-they-show-me-their........... ...... shaved Jacques-a-Grillons, which in the Languedoc-Roussillon region is a euphemism for their ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 slightly faster that the normal hairy TyroJackacricket that Bull from bone bolts around the place protecting the airspace from the mexitorians who it was said were keen to understand what a sunny one day, perfectly flooded and cycaloned the next was really like each couple of months. Maggie Island even had really old concrete fortifications from where one could watch the leetle French Maidens shaving Bones cricket in attempt to get an extra knot out of it....Zee Knot foregone is not easily replaced when zee boner cricket has not many knots too start with....and in anyevent who wants hair there, why to sit upon it tickles........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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