hihosland Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 "OH but how" cries RiverlandLass "can you deliver a baby Jabba if you rob all the stritches from the delivery suite?. That lock wire stuff sounds terribly scratchy. I bet if you do then the baby jabba will be horribly deformed with radiator missing and its tappets all.........'"
BLA82 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Broken, but that seems to be a genitic problem with those Jabba's. I think there might have been a bit of inbreeding up there at Bundy. JabbaPete says not t worry RiverlandLass I have just the thing I have.....
Guest palexxxx Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I think there might have been a bit of inbreeding up there at Bundy. JabbaPete says not t worry RiverlandLass I have just the thing I have..... a drop or two of some of bundy's other famous product. yep, bundy rum. a couple of gallons of bundy with a touch of coke poured down your oil inlet and bobs your uncle, no more noisy tappets........:hittinghead:
hihosland Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Said Pete to Riverland Lass "a couple of gallons of bundy with a touch of coke poured down your oil inlet and bobs your uncle, no more noisy tappets......." responds she "do'nt you mean 'up bobs me uncle'? I promise you that if he tries anything like that again bundy down me oil inlet or not he'll be sobbin not bobbin. And anyway how did you now that my uncle had noisy tappets? The last I heard he had given away the taps and was attempting to prance around in pink ballet pumps in a hopefully futile attempt to ...........
ahlocks Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 .... in a hopefully futile attempt to ........... ...Inject some culture into the NES. For the tales of same DNA ancestry :confused: and jabberwockies :ah_oh: had blinded the masses from such delights as Beenleigh Rum :thumb_up: rather than that sump sludge from Bunderland thumb_down and of kinky muses other than those involving lock wire and lubricants. For alas, after trying to introduce foreign languages to the masses, KaptainYoHoHo has been missing in action and rumoured to have chickened out on the great tupperminium stoush of 09. And the man of classic compositions has failed to rise to taunts to join in with the NES and prefers to talk sand with the italian stallion from up north. Yup, it was up to uncle bob and his pink pumps, for Ahlovak had recently returned from a ‘long shadow’ flight over the riverlands of YSWG(x2) and was feeling far too mellow (gotta love this flying stuff :thumb_up::big_grin:) to engage in such cultured things…
planedriver Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Pink pumps, thinks Admin, not wanting to miss an oportunity to make a quid. Maybe i'll buy some in, and offer them alongside pinkapple props for Jabyroo prancers in the Clearprop shop. Having watched the cricket at the SCG today, with thousands wearing pink for a good cause:pig:, maybe, just maybe, I can start a similar new trend for fly-ins. Pink wheel spats, pink sheepskin seat covers, pink pitot covers, and the list goes on. I even know someone who might be interested in a pink paint job, especially if I call the colour Riverland Rose, and they can stick one of their own labels on it :pig::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:. Our mate PinkPete'll be in it for sure, and Le Crappee could do the same with his upmarket Corolla. All the chicks will :heart: it, and think he owns the CAME soap company as well, how cool?:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up: Sadly, the pre-loved Christmas lights were not the success that had been hoped for, but this is different. If sales go well, not only will a charity donation be able to be made, but Ian can make his final paytment to the tradies for his new roof. This is a great cause so get behind this one, unless anyone has a better idea:question:
Captain Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 You want Culture? I'll give you "Culture". ...Inject some culture into the NES.… "I'm not sure if it's a "culture"" said the Riverland Lass's Nan, "but I think I have Thrush" she added."And I don't think it was injected, however 36.7% of my male friends complain of some sort of a rash that needed an injection" she opined. For fear not, dear NES readers, Le Crappie is back with a flourish of tasteless wordplay. ...For the tales of same DNA ancestry .....… Le Crapp has been away in the NSW NE Tablelands doing his own DNA research and tracking down his family tree up Hillgrove/Armidale way and Le Crapp has the melancholy duty to inform his NES compatriots that it looks like his family tree had monkeys swinging in it not that long ago. "Is that why I have a red posterior" said le Crapp (making an obscure reference to those monkeys with red bums) "Or might it be from the Lass's thrush?" "My family tree is enough to force a bloke to believe in "intelligent Design"" said Le Crapp "As a belief in Evolution leads one to the terrible conclusion that .............
hihosland Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 "My family tree is enough to force a bloke to believe in "intelligent Design"" said Le Crapp " As a belief in Evolution leads one to the terrible conclusion that ........ There’s nothing so random as random selection. Not even the random Dispers ing of RiverlandLass’s holiday favors complete and replete with ………….
Captain Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 KaptainYoHoHo has been missing in action and rumoured to have chickened out on the great tupperminium stoush of 09. "So the ahlocks wants an alumastic stoush, does he?" said Le Crapp, to the other owners of composite aircraft, including one with an A380. "Most people would reckon that is a bit masterbastic" he thought, but he knew in his heart that the ahlocks was a nice bloke and this challenge was well meant, and would be run fair and square. "I suggest 2 key events" said the AAAlovack. "The first will be to see who can fly the slowest and the 2nd will be to see who can get the most sunburnt while tripping over to Narrandera to have a coffee with Wally". "I can win that" said .................................
hihosland Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 .........a whole chorus of rag 'n tube cognoscenti dedicated drivers of drifters n thrusters n bantams n .....................
Captain Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 .........a whole chorus of rag 'n tube cognoscenti dedicated drivers of drifters n thrusters n bantams n ..................... The Riverland Lass pricked up her ears and whispered to BigPete "I'm not too keen on them little chooks, I don't like drifters all that much because they wander off when they are on the job, but I am real hot on thrusters. What are you Peter, dear?" BigPete thought for a minute about how he could turn this to his advantage and build on his platonic relationship with this wonderful woman's Grandma, so he responded "I'm a ............
hihosland Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 he responded "I'm a ............ Beaver fancier myself most any Beaver will do even one of the also Rans although I must admit that while under the Clumulus stimulus I have had a Jabortwo at ……..
planedriver Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 Beaver fancier myself most any Beaver will do even one of the also Rans although I must admit that while under the Clumulus stimulus I have had a Jabortwo at …….. However, others who will remain nameless, swear that i'm Erector Sportstar, not just a limp blimp like others;););)
ahlocks Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 limp blimp?! :ah_oh: how could you associate all that rippling and rigid aluminium with a limp blimp?! :ah_oh: Although I have discovered that crushing just a quarter of a little blue pill into the morning cuppa is keeping the slippers dryer...:raise_eyebrow: Having partaken in a familiarisation exercise with an airtractor (basically a yellow startlet on steroids:exclamation:) last evening, all thoughts of attempting to mate the czech sex on wings machine with tupperware thrusters have since evaporated :broken_heart:. With the mental image of a great dane trying to mount a chihuahua, :ah_oh::confused: an offer was made to the 'tractor driver to 'paddock' :heart::heart: the pair of them and see what happens. :raise_eyebrow: Although the tentative sire has a massive drinking habit, 300 ~ 600 litres an hour:exclamation:, and just a tad over weight (three tonnes of water and retardant as payload), the off spring is envisioned to be able to not only to fly circles around a tupperroo but could lift its leg and wash one clear out of the sky if the desire came about.:devil: over to Narrandera to have a coffee with Wally". Hmmm, a brew with the legend of YNAR...Sounds like a plan! :thumb_up: We could even throw rocks toward chewka in some sort of ceremonial manner! ========== Longing for beaver may cause one to be dammed
Captain Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Hmmm, a brew with the legend of YNAR...Sounds like a plan! :thumb_up:We could even throw rocks toward chewka in some sort of ceremonial manner! 'Tis indeed a good plan there Goldie. And to make it even more worthwhile we can moon in the general direction of Chewka and Dura so that we show no favouritism and take in all forum members south of Hay and west of Seymour .... oops that included IB too so we had better stop that before we get banned (or go blind). (Although Geoff has kindly offered to give me some assistance with my planned trip next Winter to FNQ (or is it F'n Q?) so we need to be nice to him for a while). "Don't moon me" said Jabbathesmallmountaincabin "Or I'll .............
Captain Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 "Don't moon me" said Jabba ..."Or I'll ............. ..... interfere with your stoichiometric ratio and me and SkywalkerPete will take whatever advantage we can". "I love the moon" said the Riverland lass "And I love those little white specks of light thingys that twinkle up in the sky after me and that Czech stud from Wagga get stuck into a few rums down by the river bank. He's a real romantic bugger who sometimes brings different brands of rum and a choice of Coke or Pepsi .... and occasionally he even brings a blanket ... but the best thing is his big helmet, which sometimes makes me see little white specks of light thingys." "There is no doubt about it, the AAAlovak has almost superceded GrandePierre as the centrepiece of the NES (stud wise) and I am concerned that Pete has lost interest in me" said the lass. "Me too" said her mum when she had finished with Steve. "And don't forget me" said the Riverland Nanna after she put her teeth back in. "I'm back" said recalsitrantPete "And I'm .....
hihosland Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 "I'm back" said recalsitrantPete "And I'm ....all fit and roaring to re adjust the stoichiometric ratio of any romantic romantic bugga bugga from Wagga Wagga who thinks that he can induce the seeing of sparkly light thingys by Riverland fems. The moment he appears over the horizon swinging either his big or small helmet ………….
BigPete Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 ....absolutely gobsmacked that his purely plutonic relationship :heart: with the aforementioned Riverland female clan could be so miss aligned. :broken_heart: "" said ManOfFewWordsPete, I go on holidays to clear away the stress and strain of being a NES superstar, and when I return my reputation is in tatters :yuk: and my character has been screwed up something terrible. "I'm off to see the good FriarPuk, and when I return, I expect more decorum on the forum" :big_grin: said PoeticPete as he preflighted the JabberWokkieRue. :thumb_up: "and don't forget to send your used corks back to PlainJaneVanillaGeoff in Mildura, so he can bottle more of the sacrementle wine for the next sermon" :thumb_up::thumb_up: With a wave of his hand to his adoring public, :confused::black_eye: SuperStarPete guns the motor of the fastest Jabiroo in the Echuca area, and departs into the sunset......
Captain Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 "I'm back" said recalsitrantPete "And I'm ....all fit and roaring to re adjust the stoichiometric ratio of any romantic romantic bugga bugga from Wagga Wagga who thinks that he can induce the seeing of sparkly light thingys by Riverland fems. The moment he appears over the horizon swinging either his big or small helmet …………. "Not only am I a helmeted romantic bugger" said ahlocks "But I have split flaps and a chinstrap for you to cling onto" he added, making the Riverland Nanna all gooey and lovesick. "Let's see UnderPressurePete comPete with that" said ahlovack in a broad European (scottish) accent ..................
hihosland Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 "Not only am I a helmeted romantic bugger" said ahlocks "Let's see UnderPressurePete comPete with that" said ahlovack in a broad European (scottish) accent .................. responds Riverland Nana sotto voce (& a hint of experience) to RiverlandLass "the thing about scotts is that them kilt thingys make pre flighting of helmets a breeze. I do hear that wagga times two is quite breezy. So I wager ther'd be a wagger or two 'neath that kilt with the swagger" "Oh my" sighs RiverlandLass "Oh! my...........
turboplanner Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 "Goldie Locks looks OK, but that tin can he's sitting on doesn't look too stable." Goldie wasn’t too happy with this, because he was quite proud of the biggest blister pack north of the Albury K Mart. Not everyone could heat a pie on top of the instrument panel, even on a winter’s day, and he knew he would never be incapacitated by food poisoning because the food was always above 70 degrees C. He gave the Chaplain’s Jab a Jab with his size 10 in disgust as he noticed Riverland Lass’s gaze moving in that direction, but the Jab set off the Jab’s electronic safety system. Now we’re not saying that Chaplain wasn’t careful when he built it, to the contrary, every cylinder had it’s own pyrometer, and Chaplain had pointed out that every cylinder ran at a different temperature depending on the time of day, terrain and who was sitting in the passenger seat. What he didn’t know was that the cylinder temperatures were fine, but his electrical system, by some fluke had mirrored the one used for the Philadelphia Experiment many years ago. However instead of making his Jab invisible, when set off it tended to make the topography around Wagga2 disguised or invisible. For example it made The Rock look like a Bunnings store. It also seemed to apply only to low wing aircraft, particularly those made of tin or paper. There had already been one high profile victim, a Mr Biglewigle$2 who reported that the area had been devoid of any features, and some people had even reported that they could only see one Wagga. As Riverland Lass and Goldie stared at the Electric Sportscar, it turned an eerie shade of green and began to glow. Riverland Lass said she could see right through it, but that turned out to be holes from missing rivets. Goldie Locks turned back to the Chaplains Jab and suddenly noticed…
ahlocks Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 ..."Oh my" sighs RiverlandLass "Oh! my........... "Oh my......There's nary a tilt in that kilt :ah_oh::broken_heart:, but I am awfully interested by the angle of the dangle!" :big_grin::devil::heart: "'aven't 'ad me mornin' cupper yet riverland lassie!" retorted tha wet footed Ahlovak :raise_eyebrow:, (Who can't do Sean Connery accents very well at all). "Wee all thee fuss 'bout backpressurePete inbound from 'chewka to sort mah spli' flappin' 'elmet. I've been of no mind tah be thinkin' of such things" With that and while writting this nonsense Ahlovak was notified of an addition to the NES by Turboplanter so is off for a look....
turboplanner Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 up his kilt......but there was nothing there...
Captain Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 "That Big Jock McAhlovac is such a spunk" said the lass. "He looks just like that actor bloke that played that Highland Chief bloke who fought against those pommy blokes, back when they didn't wear any jocks". "The only similarity is that the ahlovakian has got a blue head too (from the blue 30+ that he wears when flying the SportsCar .....not that there is anything wrong with that)" said her mum. "What was his name?" asked the lass again. "It was Mell thing-a-me-jig and he was so hot that I almost dumped WorneoutPete for him. What was his name again, Mell ......?" "Bookes" piped up her Nan "And I particularly liked his portrayal of Robert the Bruise" "But what about ................
turboplanner Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 "Pete the Piper" said Riverland Lass. "Last time I saw him he was in that place the sounds like a sneeze, didn't have a kilt on and was running around the town....
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now