The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

........play Chopin and Bach, when his mother pointed out that he continued to play with Chopin's kind he'd eventually be doing a lot more than baching, and also...........

..... he might end up beating it like Beethoven, waggle it like Wagner and cough like Chai-cough-ski, before he .............

 

 

[Bryon]

...karked it like Korsakov....

 

 

[Captain]

...karked it like Korsakov....

.... mauled it like Mahler, stroked it like Strauss and got in like Stravinski, before ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......Beating it like the beatles, then.....

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

zooming round on speed like ZZtop before irrevocably exiting like Elvis..... wait...thats me your talking about....and I aint ready to exit permanently yet

 

why we've yet to fully explore the linkage between epaulettes and kinky cockpits where its murmured in Taswegia that....

 

 

[Captain]

zooming round on speed like ZZtop before irrevocably exiting like Elvis..... wait...thats me your talking about....and I aint ready to exit permanently yet

why we've yet to fully explore the linkage between epaulettes and kinky cockpits where its murmured in Taswegia that....

.... cannot be mentioned here.

 

Then the similarity struck El Ratpoo, as AndyTheChapeauDefecateur let slip, Elvis had kicked it on a 10 gallon western hat that he had filled in as long as it takes Ahlow to have a quickie.

 

See photo at right, with Andy trying the hat on the other end. Note Andy's mature Presidential visionary gaze.

 

"I'd better be careful which hat I use or I might go the same way" said Andy thoughtfully "And I also think I'll make myself a CFI, with a gold lame jump suit, as I reckon that will pull heaps of chicks if I ...................

 

Andy the CFI, ready for his 1st female student. See him at Natfly for an interview or a thrill.

 

Andy in more formal atire, on arrival at the Feb 9th General Meeting in Canberra. Note his ventriliquist's dummy. He must be practicing to be the next Secretary.

 

 

[bull]

Not-that-there,s-anything-wrong-with-that,,,,,,,cried-nana,I,ll-vote-for-him-too-said-sirNobu-[who-alongwith-his-business-partner-[ANDY]-had-just-imported-5000-pairs-of-multri-coloured-edible-nickers].................which-they-.....................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

had managed to secure cheaply in China from the Melamine factory. Nobu's Chinese relative had told him that only the packaging for the XXXXXL size had enough space for the list of ingredients and known side effects. The rest had the simple warning "Do not mix with milk, may cause execution of seller"

 

Strewth thought Andy what the hell can we do with these......Perhaps we should sell theses as "Love you longtime" pants and a smaller note that if you choose to "love you short time" you may get a belly ache...at a minimum... and perhaps add a definition that Longtime when it came to these eadible feasts stretched to months, not hours!

 

Nobu couldnt see the issue and suggested that if Epaulettes alone couldnt get you some BFR lovin then Epaulettes and edible undies together in Taswegia were .........

 

 

[Bryon]

......sure to get the local bevy of beauties chomping at the bit (that could hurt a little if they chomped too hard)

 

"No wucking furries" said Eppaulettes, "I know how to tame these wild devils down here, all you have to do is.......

 

 

[bull]

keep-it-in-the-family-it-would-surely-please-your-sister-.as-we-all-know-about-these-Tazwegtans---------:roflmao:sorry-beaten-to-the-post-by-that-bandywong-fella-lol

 

 

[Captain]

keep-it-in-the-family-it-would-surely-please-your-sister-.as-we-all-know-about-these-Tazwegtans---------:roflmao:sorry-beaten-to-the-post-by-that-bandywong-fella-lol

So the ethnically diverse, but socially strong, traits of Australia were confirmed once and for all.

 

F'nQ and Tazzy are almost identical, and to quote a well known Qld politician "Keep it in the family. If you can't keep your sister (or brother .... NTTIAWWT) happy, what chance do you have with a stranger?"

 

"I've always found that" said Tink typed on the dash mounted Ipad in his Vette while on a pick-up run down Lygon St and St Kilda Rd "But you have to be .............

 

See photo at right of Tink in his Vette on the hunt for schmoo.

 

 

[turboplanner]

....aware of all the changes.

 

"For example, I saw a poor worker in a leather jacket in Lygon St," said Turbo "and thinking I'd save him a long walk home to his emaciated family in the rain, I invited him to hop in.

 

"He immediately put his arms around me.

 

"I said there's no need to do that, I'm happy to help a sorrowful worker home."

 

"I'm gay" he said

 

"You could have fooled me, I thought you looked miserable" replied Turbo

 

"No I ......."

 

 

[Bandit12]

....aware of all the changes."For example, I saw a poor worker in a leather jacket in Lygon St," said Turbo "and thinking I'd save him a long walk home to his emaciated family in the rain, I invited him to hop in.

 

"He immediately put his arms around me.

 

"I said there's no need to do that, I'm happy to help a sorrowful worker home."

 

"I'm gay" he said

 

"You could have fooled me, I thought you looked miserable" replied Turbo

 

"No I ......."

"No, I'm game" said the worker in a choked, nasally voice, obviously suffering from bird/swine/raaus flu. "Why does everyone think that I'm miserable? I'm game to hop into a car with you, last time I did this some bloke called Lox picked me up, he was wearing a school girl's uniform and wanted me to spank him with my 12 inch ruler!"

 

Turbo pondered the turn of events, and considered how he might use this new dirt on the Magnificent Moderati.

 

"Maybe I can blackmail him into....."

 

 

[bull]

Into-registering-my-plane--opps-filing-an-application-for-registration-.............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......in-the-kingdom-of-Queen's-Land.

 

Turbo was rather sensitive having been kicked off a very popular thread after helpfully saying he was a Gay and Lesbian Pilot, and wasn't quite sure what to say next when the mail arrived with a clearance from ASIO to continue the next segment of the story of his hunt for ancestors of several notorious NES identities with the exception of Bandit 12 incher, where they are saying that a 12 inch pigtail classifies him as a Chinese immigrant, prohibited from entering the Country at the time.

 

 

[turboplanner]

Turbo continued the long haul north, his R M Williams boots finally giving out at Dingo Beach, which Queenslanders had named after the huge possum colony.

 

Resourcefully he shopped around and bought the best footwear available, a pair of Bullabong thongs, made in Bangladesh.

 

This was sugar cane country, with only a few kilometres to Bone, where he thought he might be able to meet bull, and maybe even get a ride in the tyrojacketcricket.

 

 

His first view of bone was of derelict buildings and rubbish beside the road; it was so bad the Council had painted a scene from Kakadu in the hope that motorists wouldn’t notice the deception.

 

 

As he continued it got worse – Hookers were openly advertising their wares on billboards; he wondered if they had any teeth, but in the distance, on a hill, he noticed a familiar sign – “Hollywood”

 

 

But no, it was “bonewood”, and Turbo laughed out loud at the thought of movies being made here and film stars on the streets and beaches.

 

 

You knew you’d reached the tropics by the tropical foliage, but only if you looked from this angle at this garden in this street – the rest was scrub.

 

 

Turbo wandered down to the scrawny beach where continuous dust storms had exposed the roots of trees.

 

 

And that’s where he did the double take; there was film star Jack Thompson lying on the beach!

 

 

Turbo took another photo just for Major (not the real Major, who it has been alleged was not the real President, if you are interested in those things.

 

 

Bone is full of pubs – there’s nothing else to do, unless you get the number off the Hooker ad.

 

 

Turbo was taken by a sign featuring a can with what looked like a cat peeing, and the proud boast that the pub served “the beer ......made up here”

 

 

He moved on to the RSL which served real beer, where he inquired as to any historic information on Captain.

 

A hush fell over the room, and an elderly lady, staggering and lisping finally......

 

 

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

....after eight days of silence from the thousands of Recflying enthusiasts.....staggered some more and said "I wish to introduce myself, my name is Julia!"

 

No one..............

 

 

[Bandit12]

....after eight days of silence from the thousands of Recflying enthusiasts.....staggered some more and said "I wish to introduce myself, my name is Julia!"No one..............

....was able to comprehend who invited the communists to dinner.

 

"Commies?" shouted Old Ratto "Mavis, get my gun out, and call.....

 

 

[ahlocks]

".. me a cab for I am...."

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

off to Western Sydnastan to do battle with the PM and her sturdy cabinet...leg.... and while I would prefer to take the less than lightning lightwing its not hardened against IED's (Improvised Electral Desperation).....and If I hit one of those on landing then.......

 

 

[turboplanner]

......I would no longer be an Iron Lady look alike, just a rusted wreck.

 

"I second that" said Kevin the whisperer, "because when I............................"

 

 

[turboplanner]

"....last saw her she had a butcher's knife in her hand, and she........"

 

 

[Captain]

"....last saw her she had a butcher's knife in her hand, and she........"

..... looked hot"

 

"I know" said Tubb "As I find her scrumptious too. And this isn't some sexist rant from me either" he added "As I just love red-heads, she has a body to die for, that walk is a total turn-on and her nose is very erotic. We used to search for lawyers with those atributes when I was the leader of the gang known (and feared) as the "BangeHolme Bangers".

 

"I know what you mean Tink" added AhChoo "Because there is one other feature of Julia's that really gets me going, and that is her ................

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

...................never ending love for that popular 70s rock group 'XXX'(This post went over the boundaries of decency...edited - Admin)...they toured with 'Johnny Deisel and the injectors' and thet did a gig in that same pub in Bone. Julia was still a real big fan of Busta and the boys and muttered something about that knife being the very one Busta has used to well..enter through the holy gates and (This post went over the boundaries of decency...edited - Admin), all this to the music of Johhny Deisel of course, and the constant sound of clinking glasses in this typical NQ pub.

 

The search for the elusive Maj went on all over town, but to no avail. Little did they know he was high overhead to the West, flying his usual weekly commute back to Montpelier, where men are men and women had better watch out. He took yet another photo of Bone, and then bumped the revs up a bit whilst muttereing something about having a date with a hot chick, and that legends do indeed get more pussy....He.........

 

 

[Captain]

..... pushed the boundaries of propriety, and his use of the self portrait in post #7524.

 

And the photo of bull in the bottom photo in #7524 (That-is-bull-standing-outside-his-house-in-the-centre-of-that-photo).

 

And while the Magnificent Moderatti were considering whether to ban Madge, AGAIN, they suddenly realised that Madge was raising important issues about non-invertibrate anthropod animals (worms) when he joined the subject of hymens and Nanna ........ by Madge's very clever reference to "hymenolepsis nana" and the Caravan's proclivity to ..................