Captain Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 "Pete the Piper" said Riverland Lass. "Last time I saw him he was in that place the sounds like a sneeze, didn't have a kilt on and was running around the town.... ... with his sword in his hand saying "Hoot mon. Who will take the Riverland Lass's Nanna the noo" "I'll have a crack at him" said the Nanna "As wellweatheredPete looks just like Mel Brookes will in a few years and I like blokes of a certain faith that have been circumnavigated" "Come here wrinkledPete and I'll help take the wrinkles out by ................
turboplanner Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 using some of the material my nephew, Buglewiggle used to stretch his wing fabric. But poor tired Pete was beyond that. He cried weakly "Hoots Mon" (he loved hooters), just look at all those people reading the thread "What's wrong with the Jabiru?" don't they know there's a special technique which is only shared by the Scottish and some NZ Scottush?"
Captain Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Hey Tubb. I feel so good about the way the story is now proceeding. Pete will be so pleased when he gets back and sees the way his reputation has been recovered and he is back where he deserves to be, like the star on top of the Chrissy Tree .............. with the sharp end of a pine tree up his ...... Regarde Le Crap The reputation of our Pete is now untarnished
turboplanner Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 No we need to drop him in further! Reputationless Pete
Captain Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 No we need to drop him in further! Reputationless Pete So Pete got dropped in. "I feel so ashamed" he said "This has never happened before, and I'm usually steamenginePete" "It's alright darling" said the Riverland Nanna "Just take your time, I have all night, and you'll come good" she added as she looked at her watch and sighed .....................
ahlocks Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 And as this travesty unfolded, Poor PinetreePete pondered the prickly problem of the protruberance perched precariously from his posterior. "bugger me, and stuff a dead horse" exclaimed binglelots. "Get sent on a compulsary holiday and return to find ConiferousPete with a bloody great sapling enema!" LastAllnightPete was pleased with his new found staying power, but it was up to .... ------------ The needles of Pete are not just of words
turboplanner Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 4 am, and Riverland Nana wasn't looking any better despite a case of blackberry nip he'd brought back from his last trip to Griffith...
Captain Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 4 am, and Riverland Nana wasn't looking any better despite a case of blackberry nip he'd brought back from his last trip to Griffith... "You sure did last all night, flacidPete" said the Nanny "I got plastered on blackberry nip while you just lasted and lasted and lasted (and lasted)." Perhaps you should have a talk to Planey and get some of his tablets as HE won't be needing them now that my grand daughter has given him the flick at Narromine" So bent&brokenPete hung his head, removed a pine cone, hitched up his strides and ............ PinetreePete (tee hee) ..wish I had thought of that, Steve
ahlocks Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 ..So bent&brokenPete hung his head, removed a pine cone, hitched up his strides and ............ ...was instantly reminded of his coniferous condition :ah_oh:. "Would have been better if it was a pineapple." lamented LimpLoinedPete. "least then I could wear trousers instead of this itchy tartan skirt. That was too much for the tooradin terror, TurboTaunter . He could no longer masquerade as a mexican. He was about to be outed as a ...... =========== No smart comment available at this time. Press any key to continue.
Captain Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 No smart comment available at this time. Press any key to continue. How about If it's not fixed, don't break it? "Yes" chipped in the Nan "I'd get it fixed if I was you PinetreePistonPumpingPete" Regards Le Crappp The eyes of Le Crap are getting sleepy
turboplanner Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 That was too much for the tooradin terror, TurboTaunter . He could no longer masquerade as a mexican. He was about to be outed as a ...... Jabiru flying Christmas tree farmer from Bool Lagoon. Smiling benignly, he said to Pinetree Pete: "How's your reputation now? Must be embarrassing walking down the main street of Ahtissue dragging a pine tree behind you, although it could be worse, you could be in Canada getting ready for the log rolling competition!" In a desperate attempt to regain his hero status, Pinetree Pete...
Captain Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 In a desperate attempt to regain his hero status, Pinetree Pete... .... signed up for an O. B. Laden correspondance course for the manufacture of personal explosive devices (who are well known to have a training camp [sorry ... Campus] in the mulga down Chuca way). "I'll teach those infidels on the NES, who have sullied my reputation as a stud and as a NES'er that is mentally as sharp as a tack" he said to nobody in particular (which is another of his quaint & colourful traits .... ParanoidPete). "Now that I have learnt to make these explosive vest thingys (& have my certificate from the OBL Tafe) I'll invite those other NES retards down for a Fly-in and we'll see who has the last laugh (not that there are too many laughs in the NES unless you are a bit warped)" said Pete to his imaginary friend "And I must confess that after a while those pine trees become a bit addictive, don't ya know" (not that there is anything wrong with that in the privacy of ones own dungheap). "Oh, imaginary friend .... stop touching me there" he muttered warmly. "And now that I have this vest and the gelly fitting me so well under my tailored Aircraft Spruce Flying suit, I'll just duck out by the river and give it a quick test firing, then I'll send out the invitations" mumbled Pete. So IUDPete drove out to the river and ............................ Regarde Le Crappee The bits of the Pete might be scattered all over the Riverland (PortionsofPete) PS postscript .. I just had a terrible thought. You don't think that Tubb might actually be OBS in disguise, and his real forum name is Turbinplanner???
hihosland Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 So IUDPete drove out to the river and ............................ ….there spied RiverlandNanna mid stream midst her morning abulutions. With a sudden rush of the hero delusion Pete hurriedly shed pine tree and raiments and hurled himself into the bubbling torrent. Suddenly disturbed by all the threshing about the startled RiverlandNanna spun around and with no other weapon to hand hurled the soap at the demented pink apparition heading her way. The slippery missle missed Pete and soared towards his pile of abandoned Osama gear ………….
Captain Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 So IUDPete drove out to the river and ............................….there spied RiverlandNanna mid stream midst her morning abulutions. With a sudden rush of the hero delusion Pete hurriedly shed pine tree and raiments and hurled himself into the bubbling torrent. Suddenly disturbed by all the threshing about the startled RiverlandNanna spun around and with no other weapon to hand hurled the soap at the demented pink apparition heading her way. The slippery missle missed Pete and soared towards his pile of abandoned Osama gear …………. "That's a funny shaped bar of soap, and why is it buzzing?" said ObservantPete. "Bugger all them virgins, I'll take you Nanna." he added. "Do you think you can, this time" she replied "or will you be DudPete again today?" Just then the soap ;) hit the body belt, Pete and the Nanna ducked (which EroticPete found to be a bit of a turn-on) and nothing happened. "You are supposed to use gelignite not Aeroplane" you WallyPete. "I didn't use Aeroplane" he protested 'I used KY" "Oh, well, lets just head over to the riverbank and make the most of it" she ......... The PersistantPete got lucky
turboplanner Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 said looking over her shoulder. Unfortunately for her this was an area of regular river bank collapses and over she went leaving only a stream of bubbles and KY residue. Poor old nevermyluckPete couild only stand on the bank and wish he was flying his Roo, although some people had been saying bad things about it's landing qualities, when anyone who knew anything knew that only the most skilled pilots really had the secret - this was an aircraft which sorted the wheat out from the chaff, or in the case of Airlocks, tin. Tubbo was well aware that Le Crappe had been posing a series of questions designed to smoke him out, and as he was not in the pay of OBL, but was in fact an undercover CIA Agent he had provided answers which had already uncovered the duplication of the Philadelphia Experiment, in fact even now VictimBiglePigle had melted half in and half out of his Cheeter, and its rear portion was invisible (unless Bigle had hooked it on a low flying fence). Tubbo wasn't quick enough though because Le Crappe struck..
Captain Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Tubbo wasn't quick enough though because Le Crappe struck.. .... and with his usual deft powers of deduction, Le Crape came to the 2+2=5 conclusion that the Turboplanner was actually the mythical Turbin(bomb)planter in disguise. "I don't believe it" said Bollocks to ShaggedoutPete "He seemed to be such a nice bloke too. I thought he was just a Mexican trying to get a NSW green card, and he turns out to be a terrortorialist" "I'll speak up for him" said HiHo .... which will carry a lot of weight with the NES'ers. "Turbi is just a naughty boy who ................ If your friends are terrortorialists, don't fix them with KY (& apologies to all the other Mexicans)
turboplanner Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 made some unfortunate comments about the magnificent Electric Sportscar. Tubbo was overcome with emotion...to think that Airlocks could forgive him after those unkind comments such as first "microwave which doesn't require 240 volt power" A tear started to fall, but he realised this wasn't appropriate for an undercover CIA agent, or even one who was out in the open, and it was just as well because you wouldn't believe what Lecrape was doing with his Jabroo's electrical system, and self steering anti swerve undercarriage now...
hihosland Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 what Lecrape was doing with his Jabroo's electrical system, and self steering anti swerve undercarriage now... that he’d tapped into the residual energy in RiverNana’s novelty soap and swapped the Jabawonder’s nose wheel for a ………
turboplanner Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 dishwasher. He then proceeded to load...
BigPete Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 ...his old Bently side by side 12 gauge shotgun with no. 8 shot. :thumb_up: Just wait 'till that little basket comes within range and I'll shoot off his nose wheel and he can land like a real pilot :big_grin: should.....
Captain Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 ..... and he can land like a "real" pilot :big_grin: should..... ..... while reciting all of the airfield codes and Sigmet abbreviations that he knows by heart, in a 47 year old pile of corroded aluminium burning 35 lph on final, saving valuable power by not giving any radio calls within 30 miles of the airport, looking down his beak at those lesser RAA rabble chaps who walk around smiling all the time, and running an Aero Club reserved for "Real" pilots with 7 members. "Heck" said Nanna "You've got a bit of a chip on your shoulder, or has Le Crap just got the craps with the world today?' "No" he replied "I've just ............... A Bentley side-by-side? Try a Krieghoff U/O.
BigPete Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 ....received notice from the aerodrome manager thumb_down that as I fly a "Wandering Jew' Jabislew :yuk: - I will be charged for three landings (one sealed and two grass (either side)) every time I touch down. " me, and you", said the Captain, "I'm going to order some USAF surplus JATO units :thumb_up: and fit them to the FabJab. Should be able to depart from my own driveway (78 feet) and miss the powerlines and the Telstra Microwave tower too." ;) It wasn't long before the package from the USA arrived......... regards :big_grin::big_grin:
turboplanner Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Le Crap, who it must be said had not experienced this mysterious runway excursion phenomenon himself, fitted the Jato kits and thought of his time in the Korean war when you needed them unless you were prepared to roll from Moama to Balranald before lift off. He also realised that Bigbad Pete had read the posts we 'd been putting in about him and was about to take defensive action, not that you really could say much with an old toothless granny hanging on your arm. In any case Le Crapp was very pleased with the Jaberewes wiring because no one suspected that whenever he did a magneto check, Jabirus all over the country started running off runways. Lining the Jab up on the massive twin redgum posts which marked his entrance, he fired up the jets and pressed the button on the Jab motor. It was all too much for the brakes and they gave way, alowing the Jab to race down the driveway while Le Crap was still making a cup of coffee (sorry wrong pilot, wrong plane). There was a huge pine tree across the road...
BigPete Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 ...and as the JatoJabbiVazoom :confused: screamed past the pine tree (at 342 knots) the 20% used Jato set fire to the tree and disappeared into the clouds. "What and who the was that", said the captain :heart: to nobody in particular as he sipped his latte. "That TubbyTubaPlayer is one confused dude as well" he said to himself. His last post has us concerned and baffled. (Just who was the pilot?) "Now, where is the local CFS number" :thumb_up: said Le Crappe, as the fire across the road started to spread....... regards :big_grin::big_grin:
Captain Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 "Now, where is the local CFS number" :thumb_up: said Le Crappe, as the fire across the road started to spread.......:big_grin::big_grin: "I'll save you" said ahlocks "For I have a hose and a helmet, and I am ready for action ... no sit down Nanna, I need to put out that fire before I light yours". "However take the "C" off, although I have been called one a few times" he added. "Me too" said Nan "I'll be waiting for you when you get off your shift ..... and bring your chinstrap too, because I've invited Tubb to come along to see if he'll .............
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