Bandit12 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 "Well I........................" ....reckon that Barnaby Joyce might have a thing to say about that, given that he can trace his lineage all the way back to Sir Joh, and there was definitely no goat involved. "What's wrong with being involved with a goat?" asked...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 "What's wrong with being involved with a goat?" asked...... ...... the Turdster, after all Cookie had one on the Endeavour and that all went well, apart some occasional jealousy amongst the crew. "I beg to differ about Turdy's account in post #7825" interjected a Professor from F'nQU. "As our research indicates that Jimmy C named the State after the strange stilted houses that the citizens lived in, and as an indication of the IQ of most of them, when asked "What are ya" by Joey Banks, they would scratch their arses and say "I'm a Queenslander, eh", then sprout the State's motto with which they had been brain (sic) washed (so it didn't take all that long) ............ "Ah Queensland, paranoid one day, chip on the shoulder the next.", after which Cookie looked fondly at the goat, unfurled the sails and headed off to .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 .......the Hawaiian Islands, but that's another story, and we are getting ahead of ourselves. ASIO have advised Turbo that now Julia has gone, and Kevin uses a lot of those words, plus hair flicks, that an abridged version of Turbo's Journal could be released to a select few (the ones with the strongest stomachs) some time in the future. "I'd release it now" said ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 said Mrs Rat very quietly to Mr Rat in the elevator....there's a moment or two, to leave a "surprise" for the next Elevator passenger and we can escape before the full flavour develops...She suggested that Rat's offering was as welcome as an RAAUS org chart that had more positions than the Kama sutra and all of them filled by out of work Queensland miners.....Wonder what the link is said Mr MonkCoates who happened to be nearby polishing his family tree...or at least that's what he told us the furtive hand movements were.....Ah said Rat.......its really clear.......RAAus management are really working in the dark Helen Keller style and who knows what happens in the dark better than a miner or two......Rat it seems knew a thing or two about mining and was therefore able to lift a rock or two to see what popped up......Talking of popping up.......The well know Queenscounsel PeterG started probing the linage of Mr MonkCoates "We sure don't want any Monk E Business here" he was quick to suggest.....Turdy was quick to point out that a Queenscounsel wasn't a homosexual in search of a referendum....but rather a scary fellow that could spin a cost meter faster than a Melbourne Cabby...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza 38 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 said Mrs Rat very quietly to Mr Rat in the elevator....there's a moment or two, to leave a "surprise" for the next Elevator passenger and we can escape before the full flavour develops...She suggested that Rat's offering was as welcome as an RAAUS org chart that had more positions than the Kama sutra and all of them filled by out of work Queensland miners.....Wonder what the link is said Mr MonkCoates who happened to be nearby polishing his family tree...or at least that's what he told us the furtive hand movements were.....Ah said Rat.......its really clear.......RAAus management are really working in the dark Helen Keller style and who knows what happens in the dark better than a miner or two......Rat it seems knew a thing or two about mining and was therefore able to lift a rock or two to see what popped up......Talking of popping up.......The well know Queenscounsel PeterG started probing the linage of Mr MonkCoates "We sure don't want any Monk E Business here" he was quick to suggest.....Turdy was quick to point out that a Queenscounsel wasn't a homosexual in search of a referendum....but rather a scary fellow that could spin a cost meter faster than a Melbourne Cabby...... ....saving up money to bring the rest of his family from overseas by boat ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 ....saving up money to bring the rest of his family from overseas by boat ...... .... and there the sad tale takes a twist, as Turdy was the product of Boat people, and so was the Harlot. It turns out that the lineage of both was directly traceable back to a tryst on the poop deck of one of the vessels in the 3rd fleet, and the Ass-ange kiddie was also related through that line. "That's why Wizzieleaks has been after the Tuber Player's expose on Ratpoo" said Julian, flashing his best silver-fox look and supercilious grin "But I can't pay for it at the moment, unless you will take a couple of Ecuadorian pesos as deposit." "I like a good Wizzie leak" said ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Salty who had been having troubles lately "but they seem to be getting closer and closer to..................." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Salty who had been having troubles lately "but they seem to be getting closer and closer to..................." ...... a successful wiz (even a bit of a leak would be ok), or ultimately to an exploratory gloved finger to be .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 used in the hokey pokey.... Tubbs was speechless (No really!) "how does doing the Hokey Pokey help while looking at a wizzie leak?" Well said rat its like this..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 used in the hokey pokey.... Tubbs was speechless (No really!) "how does doing the Hokey Pokey help while looking at a wizzie leak?" Well said rat its like this..... ...... the Hokey Pokey was the equivalent of an early form of a game of strip Twister, as once you put your right foot in, anything was prone to happen. However that has all changed and the latest Safety Management System that was put in place by Hokey Pokey Australia (under the insistence of the HPSA) has found that the Hokey Pokey is inherently dangerous and as a result it has effectively meant that those with the correct endorsements can Hokey to their heart's content, but Pokeying has been suspended pending an upcoming Coronial enquiry and a submission from a rival organisation, the Sports Pokey Association of Ozz, whose Board will meet with the HPA Board @ UndoneFly next month at NarrowMind. "Big things are expected to come out of this UndoneFly" said HPA Secretary, Endo, who ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 ...was in fact the grandson of Nando who not only led the charge on the southern Lewis Gun at the Cowra escape, nicked across to the hospital, grabbed the good looking nurse who used to massage their carbuncles in the Camp, hotwired a Mercury Ute from the Bakery and nipped out to the aerodrome, nicked a Percival Proctor and flew to Vanuatu without using a GPS, started a coffed plantation and founded the Nandos we've all come to love and enjoy, even if we have the runs the next day. Endo gave a 60 minute briefing on the Plan for the cross linking of risk management, accident minimisation by modular training using professional qualified trainers from the Nando Kamikaze Flight School, and managed by a comprehensive interlinked geographical, vertical and horizontal management structure of women, headed by Gina Rhinehart. Peter Doubt, having listened to this very detailed analysis accompanied by charts and photos, helpfully added: "What we need is governance!" "What's that?" asked Quaver. "You know" said Peter, and so it went on for another hour, when the next speaker was introduced. "Before I go on" said Art Lox "You always do!" yelled an interjector who had a sharp nose and a mangy ar$e. "Before I go on" repeated Art, I must bring to your attention that not all here are supporting our proud Hokey Pokey Federation" And there was general gnashing of teeth, and breathing through the teeth from the Japanese descendents. "Alpha Laval, he went on picked up another organization, the Hockey Poxy, after a trip to the Phillipines, and is trying to flog it wherever he can. Already a few have been taken by it" said Mr Lox. "Well do we......" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 really think that the Hokey Poxy association will be as attractive to new members as the Hokey Pokey Association said Rat with that condescending tone he always needs to use with monsieur moderati...... No not really was the feel from those present.....Why after puberty Hokey Pokey is universally attractive to all....Hokey Poxy was about as popular as a rump check at UndoneFly..... Talks of Governance had a calming affect on the crowd and before long the only few still awake was Rat, Tubbs and the droning Peter Doubt, who was showing no signs of that at all!!. Even Endo was struggling........Tubbs looked at Endo and said......"Are you related to the swamp monster?" Endo sucked in his guts, squared his shoulder and said "I'll have you know Im the patriarch of the Scoap family and we don't sell anything that will Sting you or suffer an unexplained weight loss! Tubbs wasn't convinced and so Endo began drawing the family tree.. Endo was married to Boro (How appropriate! thought Rat!!) and had 2 kids, Arthro and Gyro with one more on the way Kaleido........Rat was yawning...That Endo Scoap is a pain in the ar$e he thought...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Andys@coffs' date=' post: 305580, member: 94[/email']]...That Endo Scoap is a pain in the ar$e he thought...... Endo Scoap (Tee Hee. Good one Chapeau Defacateur). ....... so he referred Endo's performance to his mate, Micky Morethanonecoat, for a 2nd opinion. "What do you think of Endo's management of the HPA" he aksed Micky. "Well" responded Micky, we Morethanonecoats have had a fair bit of experience with the Pokers who run the HPA (and the HPSA for that matter) and I reckon that ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 .......my wife Monkeycoat would be very good at convincing thePokers that white was grey, but on some occasions could be pink except in the winter when it could also be magenta or except on a Tuesday" "Well with that I think we should wrap this thread up" said Alpha Laval who'd had some difficulty following pokeylogic and saw a definite rival in Peter Doubt. "Why would......"" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 ...."Why would......"" ....... these drongoes keep persisting with this NES garbage" added the Alpha Lava "And as I want to be the final arbiter on whether all threads live or die, I think we should immediately shut this one down." "I aglee" yelled Nobu "This is clap and should be .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 "...........shut down.......but wait minute, if shut down then we cannot speak; this same as honourable Emperor when he tell us 'Have I got deal for you, I crose down schools, you free to fly in ratest aircraft, we teach you well', and we did and we frew to Darwin, bombed the crap out of it, and then that sirry Kazoko said 'Why we not do some roo shooting while here' so we rand at the bomber field near Batcheror, borrow jeep from yanks and shoot roos, all having big BBQ, drinking Budweiser when the local police sergeant call in to check a newspaper report of six new Cessnas just randed near Batcheror. 'I thought so' he said "Cessna not invented yet, you can't trust newspapers, but you lot are on your way to Cowla!" It..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 "....shot at birth Like I was!" "Now hang on there Nobu, in this association of pokeyers we follow our constitution and if you are wanting a rule than covers "Shot at birth" then we need a special resolution to change the constitution and it must happen in a specific timeframe......We may not be able to enact "shot at birth" due to fair and constitutional timing constraints but if we hurry "shot in the grave" just before the first spade full of dirt could possibly be doable.......(if we really really hurry lots) "Well....Ok what about a public stoning............" asked Nobu in a grumpy voice....he was really wanting a shot at birth clause and anything else seemed second best by a long way. Yes, Yes cried Tubby, that is possible, however there are a few formalities required first....... You need your local councils Form FW21 "Permission to hold a public stoning" and FW22 "Permission to dump a load of rocks in a public place" and FW23 "OH&S requirements to be met for an unattended pile of stones" then there is the CASAmosta paperwork check for each of the projectiles...They fly through the air and are therefore subject to CAR's like all of us. A full Weight and balance is required and under no circumstances can the MTOW be exceeded......... "Fluk Me!!!" yelled Nobu why is everything so difficult why back in ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Hatshat had been rambling for days now, a victim of constitutionitis. "There's only one way to fix that" said GoldenRat looking across at Pussygalore "and that's.................." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 "....shot at birth Like I was!" "Now hang on there Nobu, in this association of pokeyers we follow our constitution and if you are wanting a rule than covers "Shot at birth" then we need a special resolution to change the constitution and it must happen in a specific timeframe......We may not be able to enact "shot at birth" due to fair and constitutional timing constraints but if we hurry "shot in the grave" just before the first spade full of dirt could possibly be doable.......(if we really really hurry lots) "Well....Ok what about a public stoning............" asked Nobu in a grumpy voice....he was really wanting a shot at birth clause and anything else seemed second best by a long way. Yes, Yes cried Tubby, that is possible, however there are a few formalities required first....... You need your local councils Form FW21 "Permission to hold a public stoning" and FW22 "Permission to dump a load of rocks in a public place" and FW23 "OH&S requirements to be met for an unattended pile of stones" then there is the CASAmosta paperwork check for each of the projectiles...They fly through the air and are therefore subject to CAR's like all of us. A full Weight and balance is required and under no circumstances can the MTOW be exceeded......... "Fluk Me!!!" yelled Nobu why is everything so difficult why back in ......... ...Cowla we just dlink sake and build midget submaline in tunnel under latline and wait for big frush. No risten to blauroclats, onry risten to Turbs who send seclet messages from Bangerherhome Some messages so seclet, we not even..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 ...Cowla we just dlink sake and build midget submaline in tunnel under latline and wait for big frush. No risten to blauroclats, onry risten to Turbs who send seclet messages from BangerherhomeSome messages so seclet, we not even..... ... aroud to blaudcast it." "But rets get back to Turdy's pubric stoning, as I am in favour or that, but only after the SMS has been checked." he added. "Beauty" said the small Italian sportscar "As I'll take 2 boulders & 3 packets of sizeable river gravel, where do I sign that I've seen the SMS and where is the best vantage point to chuck them from." "Up here" said Ratty, who had been trying to ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 ............climb to the top of the righteous only to keep sliding down on the slippery slope of the leftists. "What we need is governance" said Peter Doubt, and received four looks so sharp that he immediately lapsed into silence, although he furtively looked at his note to remind himself of the words in case he had to say it again. "What's up there?" asked Hatshat, who'd never been allowed to the top of the heap, and had been turfed off on to the slippery slope whenever he was getting close. "Wonderful things" said Ratty with a wink at Alpha Laval. "Wonderful things" said Laval who wasn't slow at picking up a trend "Er, what are they" he whispered to Ratso, but the Rat was frowning, and gave Alpha a quick kick over the side. "When will they........." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 ............ "When will they........." ....... ever learn that I am neither right nor left" replied Andy (Le Chapeau Defacateur Incredable et Le Leakdown Failer Mélancolie) "I prefer it right up the middle, where ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 "..........I have the least amount of hair, and it's quicker to comb that way." "You've got a COMB?" said Ratsak who was again suffering for a nasty bout of mange. "What's going to happen next?" asked Salty who wasn't at all interested in hairstyles "will Hatshat the Leak try another oracle?" There was a rattle at the clubroom door, and they caught a glimpse of an epaulette....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 ".......... There was a rattle at the clubroom door, and they caught a glimpse of an epaulette....... .... "Je ne say leakdown" said E. Paul "As every Jab owner will dive for cover and at the same time poop their pants." "Leakdown test, leakdown test, leakdown test (and Thru-Bolt)" yelled AhRoxOff who loved sticking it up the Jab owners (figuratively speaking of course) although he was well aware that the words "Sprag Clutch" "5000 rpm" "ULP (and "ALP")" and "Gutless" had a similar evacuational effect on him. "Oooooh" said the Hat splatter and leakdown specialist "That ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 is going to create havoc with my retirement plans......"Right down the Middo, who by chance had no comb either, nodded sagely and said "I know what you mean.....why when I landed awkwardly....at Narrofly I had a wallet squeezing event due to engine and aircraft repairs...fortunately for me I had a secondary source of income from my wife who is a building scryer........what a useful skill said E. Paul...To be able to just look at a building and see cash just laying around.......The Rat looked incredulous and said "What about trees? can she look at trees and see money growing?......." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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