The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

.... on the AGM at AussieFly in Narrowmind, where those huge thighs had SAAA tattooed on the inside and were .......

 

 

[turboplanner]

....hairy, and....

 

 

[Captain]

.... welcoming.

 

"After all" said the SAAA boss, "We are all under the one sky, so forget that successive SAAA Boards have regarded all RAA guys as dickheads, as we are all under the one sky and should be friends (while we work with CASA to set up a competing organisation that looks after you poor recreational sub-species types). You never know, as one day some of you will become "real" pilots and fly an RV6 like me in my flight suit, and in the meantime we will know what youze are up to, while we are all under one sky (although we prefer the phrase "All under one umbrella (organisation)", a catchphrase which we have registered).

 

"Wouldn't it be easier to try to unite the Christians and the Muslims under one common religion" commented the cynical Rodent (CyniRat?).

 

"Hang on there" said a new RAA member, & the A6, who were unaware of the way RAA members had been previously treated at SAAA fly-ins "These guys seem like an improvement, and ..............

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

but as they were saying that Endo was noted to go red in the face and spin up like the Tassie Devil on the bugs bunny cartoon.......strewth yelled Rat.........V1....V2.....lift off imminent.......

 

The sounds coming from Endo were legendary there was the noise of hot air and some very colourful language that compared unfavourably SAAA poobahs and ladys of the night!!!

 

Well said Turdy......

 

 

[Captain]

but as they were saying that Endo was noted to go red in the face and spin up like the Tassie Devil on the bugs bunny cartoon.......strewth yelled Rat.........V1....V2.....lift off imminent.......

The sounds coming from Endo were legendary there was the noise of hot air and some very colourful language that compared unfavourably SAAA poobahs and ladys of the night!!!

 

"Well" said Turdy......

..... "That spin-up by Endo was pretty similar in sound and content to the PFFFFFFFRRRRRT by AndyTheSquatter, although with Endo it was of the bovine variety, however I'm not opposed to the SAAAA 'soles having an involvement, after all, many of them are ex-airline pilots and therefore know a lot about things, have sparkling personalities, are worldly wise, definitely are "soles" and ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......they COMMUNICATE - they speak to you!

 

"They're quick with their invoices too" said Picklehead who'd defected three years ago and believed if you had to ask how much it cost to fly, you couldn't afford it.

 

"But I might not keep my legendary status" said E-Paulette "some of those people are Vice Marshalls!"

 

"Madge is one too, always marshalling when there's a good looker around, so what's the problem," said ....

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

....the real Brickhawk helicopter- flying female Major, who expressed a new desire to fly again with Maj in his Drifter ..just for old times sake you know, a quick spin you know....Hell cried the Maj, I don 't own the old Drifter anymore !...so you 'll have to grab your silver wings and gold Lamar...no hang on, Ian will ban me again ...anyway where was I ????!!!!!.....so we'll have to take the more intimate Bull Light wing with sheepskin seat covers....and well if you get a ride in that with the Maj, you'll be a Brig General in no time !................the female Major smiled and said................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Havent been up for a while myself......We use the Brickhawks as giant hedge trimmers around here......you know when we are a while between cyclones and stuff gets a need for a heavy trim... We especially like doing that at night, and when theres a PM onboard.......usually you can get a puckerfactor moving so quick it sounds like Middle C on a keyboard.....One of the rare times that their Butt is singing and their gums is flapping but nothing is coming out....of their mouth, that is.......It can be a bit tuff on the Brickhawks blades and unlike a real hedge cutter new blades aren't available at Bunno's....

 

The Major major happened to be nearby and suggested to the aviation major that madge had a similar effect ........

 

 

[Captain]

.... as he did when he was Major President.

 

"Now hang on there" objected the Madge Major "As I only dress up like this for sex."

 

"Now come on" said the real Major "You are from F'n Q and you are running for the Board, so we need to stick together in order for you to continue my policies and my managerial style and we'll kick some Mexican a*se."

 

"OK" responded the Madge Major "Mehican ees as close to Phillipino a*se as I'm gunna get, & I'll also ............

 

 

[Captain]

...... see what all my mates on the NES think of my photo in the latest mag.

 

"He sure looks like he has had a hard life, ruff even" commented Turbo, who is no oil painting (or bad railway graffiti) himself. "It is like Madge has had a ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"bisectomy, and......."

 

 

[Captain]

...... a right handed graffiti artist has painted him on a bridge underpass using his left hand and with a spray-can that has a bung nozzle."

 

"But we of the Magnificenti Moderatti do think that Tubby was a bit over top in indicating that Madge is bi, so we ban Tink for 10 minutes and we wish to take a photo of the graffiti art for the record" interjected Ahlot, who was also a part time graffiti artist.

 

"Don't worry about that" responded Andy as part of his usual attempt to be helpful "Just have a look at the train-wreck that is shown face-on in Madge's election statement in the latest mag, and tell me that won't be used to frighten little kiddies at some time in the future, or ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

...even to do modelling work for Schmacko Ads, without......

 

 

[Captain]

..... being too unkind, is that as one of the Schmackos themselves (a Chomp and Chew may be relevant), or Roger's mum (who looks a lot like Nanna & Mavis) or perhaps as the ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....ginger bread man, who flitted from..........................

 

 

[Captain]

...... Princess Fiona to Shrek.

 

Or in NES parlance that equates to, from Ahlow to ........

 

 

[turboplanner]

Foxhunter.

 

"Now where are my specs" asked Madge who'd been busy erasing all previous records of any transgression he might have made in the past, so no one could put the squeeze on him.

 

"He should have looked for them before he sent in that photo" said Turbo, "Some flyers are very sensitive to gross exposures like that"

 

This brought Ahlot to life, but Turbo had to explain the photo only showed his face.

 

"He killed a little baby plover which had strayed onto the apron in front of his workshop once" said Harriet

 

"Is that true?" asked Ahlot

 

Turbo had to tell him the truth; "Yes that's right he said, reluctantly"

 

By this time 12,000 of the 17,000 members were seriously thinking of not voting for Madge, and Turbo didn't want to raise too much dust, but Ahlot couldn't let it lie.

 

"How did he kill it?" he asked

 

"He leered at it" replied Turbo, and

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

"Well you say he leered at it" said the Foxy old Hunter while still trying to throw his leg over ....as he does.... "but its hard to tell cause he looks like he's leering most of the time...."

 

"In fact that brickhawk major must have some form of eye problem, which may well account for the hedge trimming issues, cause the chances of a pretty young teen female getting into any form of conveyance when the operator looks like that....is pretty much non-existent unless........"

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

....... it was only because the Major ( the Brickhawk one) had actually fitted her fathers contact lenses by mistake that morning, so she couldn't actually see what she was getting into at all.....but once airborne the air pressure caused by great speed of the bull Drifter hitting her in the face in the back seat, actually altered the curve of the lenses and gave her instead super pilot vision, which is why she had 'nailed it'.........After the flight with Maj the super vision turned out to be permanent, causing her rapid rise in rank.................and the eventual army callsign 'SuperMaj ' because of her high shooting accuracy from the Brickhawks............"Hell, " (one US five star general in Afganistan had beamed) if we had had her in the US for 9/11, those damn Boeings wouldn't have gotten anywhere near those twin towers !!!........

 

 

[turboplanner]

........."RING RING"...the early morning alarm went off and Madge woke up. He'd taken to camping in the hangar because the maintenance in the lightwing took up every waking minute. There were the daily exhaust welding chores, and retrimming the control surfaces after the rough handling.

 

He looked around but there was no Major Blackhawk in sight, just an old red chook pecking insects off the lightwing.

 

He became despondent, ...............

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

......ah to hell with it he said, whilst typing on the Ipad at 7.20 am in the morning after a lovely take off out of Heathrow. The lovely Ian and Julie and the lovely Jen were great company last night over a tasty glass of vino. The air is silky smooth, the clouds are on the ranges, and as usual the Rotax is singing,....maybe I'll give the Brickhawk a call when I reach Montpelier at 23.01 Z as indicated by OzRunways on the Ipad.........he'll there's unbroken cloud between me and Bowen, I'll have to deviate out to the coast a bit .....now if only I was in a Brickhawk with the lovely superMaj, we could..........

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

.....fly down into Bowen and pay an unexpected visit to Bazza the Jazza with the Jaba...........the early morning cloud extended through the Bowen area, however the Maj, stable at 3 grnd could see down through it to familiar coastline below, after all this was his normal commute from the dreaded Shute Harbour, soon he would head North again and get back on track. Ah yes there is Bowen airport directly below, but no damn Brickhawk or female SuperMaj in sight.......he keyed the PTT...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....0900z.

 

Regular NES readers will notice the change in Madge. The affectation of using four posts to say something unitelligible - it was almost like he was trying for an election to high office.

 

The Rotax stopped singing.........Madge looked at the fuel level..........it showed only Queensland air......Oh NO!!!....what.......

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

.........now with the mouth of the mighty Burdekin off to the right and the cane-filled Burdekin Vally ahead covered with light scattered cloud, the Maj monitored a call from his old Drifter 25-0452 doing circuits at Ayr.....after chatting with them he decided to set course and descend to Ayr just to be sociable...........

 

 

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Andy turned to Rat with some concern..."Is it safe to fly where reality is definitely required, and post to NES at the same time where reality definitely needs to be checked at the door?"

 

"No problem for them F'nQers' said Rat they spend most of their life in suspended reality.......it requires a special kind of personality to fly up there....down here in mexitoria those professionals who have a couch in their office and a ready supply of tissues.....have a name for that type of personality....."

 

"Politicial??" suggested Andy....

 

"No....close...." said Rat " we call it......"