The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

And who, oh who, dear reader was the author of post # 8000?

 

 

[FlyingVizsla]

8,000? "Wot?" sed the A6 "membership is fallin' jus like the Km sed it wood!" This calls for Future of RAoz Plan A7 - Amalgumite agummit amulgn; darn; join up with Poweredparas, AOPA, Gliding fed, EAA, SAAA, CWA, RAA, ASRA & Parashoot mob. Wot to call it ... (sound of spinning cog) ... use the initials .... it spels out .....

 

 

 

There! Hat Shatter. Problem solved without EGO (another clandestine organisation - EAA & GFA of Oz trying to overthrow RAOz). Now, who to invite to coffee where in I can educe the truth without talking ......

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

about where Miles went.....What????? said Turdy....

 

"you know!!!!" said Monseiur Le Blank "E Go.....E used to Go to the mine, and occasionally E'd Go off on a tangent, or E'd go to remede-al spellin but ........E sure didnt go to Cantbra!!! We need more E Go in RozAus and youse b#stards have stuck a plank in his spokes and talked about needing a clear direction......Ed Was a direction and E'd go around Ed like one of those March fly things....."

 

"Why would you want to talk about that?" ElRat asked.......

 

"I used to know where E'd Go but Ive no clue where Ego's now......So until I can hear it from Mr Ed's Northish end I'll talk about talking about stuff to a horse....and that'll keep youse Mexicans on the hop...I mean if I don't understand my own dribble then what hope for youse???

 

 

[turboplanner]

It is always a problem on the NES when Hatshat has a coughing fit. It's almost as if all of last weeks news comes up with the carrot pieces.

 

Flying Visual had resorted to Code, which we hadn't seen since Ditdot sent us his alien messages, which brings back memories of his epic trip to the Antarctic in an R22 flying backwards. Unfortunately he mated with a human and departed for a lonely shore far away, home to other aliens such as Ignoramus and Bachatthemoon.

 

The thread historian has also slowed the meter and aviation references down with a crude attempt at self adulation for lurking until #8000 then crapping on it, leaving a trail of his tiny nuggets, which nevertheless smell outrageously.

 

Turbo, who had been washing bikes all day, was dreaming of the good old days when.........

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

in Far f'nQ he'd been hunted by a pack of Cassy Wary's who had designs on spreading their DNA a little bit wider than normal......

 

That wasn't normal...that was as far from normal as it is possible to get....why to provide an analogy its as likely to occur naturally as it is to come up with something new and innovative and of an aviation nature after wave spent 8000 quality posts talking about...well not very much really.....

 

You know its sad to say that the 8000 minutes or more I've spent reading this stuff is time I just wont get back......but if I hadn't been here I never would have learnt that Turdy.......

 

 

[Captain]

..... is a transvestite who likes purple and is dyslexic, as he words his gets mixed up."

 

 

 

"Yes" said McJockLox "As when he says "Washing Bikes" we all know that he means "Bashing Wifes" or ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......good readers this was precisely the image Turbo had cultivated for the heathens Rats Guts and the Scotsman (you read it here first!) Jock McLockland.

 

He's been wyly slatching them for the last few thousand posts, and had been able to deduce that they were in fact ASIO agents, and the architects of the ASIC Card with which they hoped to fight Al Quaeda, not realising that Al Quaeda wasn't interested in Australians because they didn't have enough money and very few went to church anyway, so....

 

 

[Captain]

........... the copyright battle continued in the Supreme Court between the Bedlinen Family and Nobu's mate, Mr Uaeda-san.

 

"It's not my fault that my mum and dad christened me Alan Quincy" said Uaeda-san in his first public statement since he won the case against Jock McLockland, when he .......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....was able to prove that Jock had lost his socks near The Rocks on one of his frequent trips to Sydney and a mule for the Bedlinen family, which had landed in Australia from Columbia as refugees, along with their pets which included 17 lions, 12 tigers, 3 anacondas (which they'd been using to put the squeeze on anyone who talked), a giraffe, and three women.

 

Uaeda-san had been operating undercover, making imbecilic jokes on the forum Recreational Flying, whenever anyone started a half reasonable thread, and this in turn led to him meeting.........

 

 

[Captain]

..... up with Eeen to correct the record.

 

"The TinkyWinkPranner has got it all wrong (he is a useress plick)" said Al, with considerable feeling.

 

"Jock actually rost his sox down his jox, while down in the Locks buying rocks from Rockwood ............ and he got the pox from ..........

 

 

[turboplanner]

........Mox, from Jaspers Box when he mistook Ayers Rock for the Rock and did a boxed turn which put him on track for Lockbank and the Melbourne LAL [AR], whereupon he took out the notes he'd carefully made from an epic Bigglesworth flight, crossed Gippsland, turned left and made that chance encounter.

 

"Those chance encounters will do it for you every time" said Major, who had been lsoing the high profile necessary to win votes from people who didn't want to vote, and overcome the massive load of proxies and votes from Lithuanians which were arriving in Canberra in favour of ...............

 

 

[Captain]

...... Esme Bedlinen, "After all" said some sheik with one arm and one leg, "Anyone is better than the Mount Perrier Madge when it comes to a .........

 

 

[turboplanner]

........humping method (Mount Perrier is not a smooth airfield, but the remains of a BNS site and part of a highway screenings stack, and...

 

 

[Captain]

...... that forced a comment from the Frying Visitor "Why would they show movies on the side of a gravel stockpile? We don't even do that in s'n Q."

 

"Oh" said Turdo, who was wisely world "They do that up at the fizzy water mount because .................

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

.....what looked like highway stockpiles were actually heaps of dead wallabys who lay in the grass beside the Majs favourite runway, awaiting a Gyro to come blasting down the runway trying to get airborne. The wallabys usually lost in their encounters with the little planes, as the 30 FT high stack testified.........Maj shot off another Email to the new spectrary Mike Monke, and said...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

What Maj didn't know was that 387 Gyro dudes had been thinking of making up a few thousand boxes of votes/proxies, but they wanted action.

 

"I'll bet you a Jesus Bolt to a wallaby skin that he does nothing about it", said Dead Ringer.

 

"Well I'm going to................"

 

 

[Captain]

.....as the 30 FT high stack testified...................

........... "This NES is getting out of hand and is no longer believable" said Ratsack "As I have never before seen or heard about a 30 ft high stack of Wallaby's fried testies. And who has been cutting them off before cooking them?" he added.

 

"And now in post # 8016 Turdy is accusing the Madge Pop-Top of going all gyro on us, a worse accusation that saying that Madge is really going commando with his .................

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......yellow gum boots and "I LUV FNQ, NOBODY ELSE DOES" T Shirt, and three quarter length shorts (that's three quarters of his height shorts), and the pearl handled swagger stick he pinched from the real Major.

 

Drawing himself up to maximum height, with the aid of a pair of footy shorts pushed down his yellow gum boots, he.....

 

 

[Captain]

........... started to gyrate (each time he started to engage his pre-rotator ..... which is Madge's way of describing self-abuse), and in the Expanda's case the swagger-stick was a stagger-stick, but at least he was "safe", as his yellow gummys were fluro safety yellow, his cheeks were safety red, the pearl on his stagger-stick complied with the requirement of the sub-human factors course, and his ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

...epaulettes were welded on as securely as his exhaust pipes, but....

 

 

[Captain]

...... just wait until I'm on the Board and I'll go up to 11 gold bars and epaulettes that are 18 inches long, each."

 

Then Madge took the opportunity for a bit more self abuse.

 

"Your a dickhead, Madge" said Maj.

 

"And what are you look'n at Maj, you wanka" responded Madge, who then responded "...............

 

 

[Captain]

....... but I'd vote for ya, as you are a good bloke, and a .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

".....possible candidate to train in coverup operations."

 

"He looks very furtive" said Turbo helpfully, "and he........"

 

 

[Captain]

"He looks very furtive" said Turbo helpfully, "and he........"

.......... actually did furt."

 

"Erky perky, and hang on Turdo" said Ratty "Moderator (magnificentti) Lox will never let you say that the Madge is a self-abuser."

 

"Why not?" asked Turdy "As he's been doing it himself for .............

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

as long as his been alive..."I have it on very good authority that the only people who don't furt are those that have been dead for some time" said Madge " and Anyway how do you know? " he asked

 

Rat pointed out that at a recent flyin Madge had dragged Mrs Madge along and was seen, with both of them in a shared sleeping bag, suddenly draaging the top of the bag over her head and sniggering loudly while Mrs Madge put on her best imitation of suffering serious smoke inhalation while trying to use Madge as a punching bag........"So it goes without saying that Madge is a furter! and a wife abuser."

 

Turdy thought about that for a while...while self testing his own snigger circuit .....but is smelling your own furts considered to be self abuse he questioned...... he waited for an answer but it seemed there was none coming for all present were clearly reminded that their own snigger circuits hadn't been tested for some time and there was no time like the present......