The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

"........bouncing down the stairs"

 

Unfortunately for Ahlox, one of our Olympic Netball girls was sitting in a deck chair beside the stairs, and seeing the bounce of the jock mass, gave it a WHACK, right up.......

 

 

[Captain]

..... it went (even at his advanced years).

 

"I love a good whacking" replied Ahlow with thanks "But why did she have to go too far and .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

".....hit my universal joint, when........"

 

 

[Bryon]

......all it needed was a little self adjusting around the spigot....

 

 

[turboplanner]

and an allen screw......

 

 

[Captain]

"Oy" yelled Allen "That's Loxlie you are talking about, so I am conflicted and feel a mixture of both "erky perky" and "NTTIAWWT"."

 

"I must admit that he is a good sort (and his breath does taste of peppermint)" responded Salty "But if I was you I would ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

"............be very careful that at least three threads protruded, and you used Loctite, or ............."

 

 

[Captain]

... WD40, KY gel or that well known hat sealant as used extensively & endorsed by Andy-Sat, perhaps better known as .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....le crepe de chat.......

 

 

[Captain]

....le crepe de chat.......

..... Or is it perhaps le crap du chap, where........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.........no aviator OT Hatshat wants to fly, particularly since there are no deterioration calculations for ...............

 

 

[Captain]

...... the intestinal leakdown that occurs when Andy completes another hat............ and ........

 

 

[turboplanner]

....then forgets to tighten his actuator valve [AvRef]...........

 

 

[Captain]

....then forgets to tighten his actuator valve [AvRef]...........

....... let alone the thru bolt (Avref) located in his navel, so when that popped his bum fell off, and then......

 

 

[turboplanner]

...things could go seriously wrong, and the bushing in the eye of his lift-strut lug could come loose, and his main spar would be in danger, especially where the spar cap is a block of rovings (like Ahlot is most nights) built into the wing skin sandwich, in which case he would go hungry, and.....

 

Plagiarised from Daaaaaafffffffffffydddddddddddddd

 

 

[Captain]

...... he went for commercial grade materials.

 

"You can't do that and be safe" said Daffy "As we need to move to level 9 maintenance where I am the sole practitioner and hangman, as these L2, L3 and L4 chaps are positively dangerous and I reckon that the more beurocracy and control (that I have) the better, why the other day I saw someone actually enjoying themselves while flying and they had a non certified pair of jeans on. It was just not right, nor safe, so I nearly had a conniption."

 

"Don't be a dill, Daffff" was Brine's comment "Chill out, dude, and have another Chivas with me before I take my new home-built out for a spin, hic. 50% of it came from Bunnings, 50% from Masters and 50% from Mitre 12."

 

"Now, Salty" said Daff "I must .............

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

point out that you only have accounted for 150%, when we all know that your now 650% short!!! we need 8times what is actually needed! 100% is affordable but 800% sorts the wannabe's from the millionaires!

 

Brine asked "why is the "Safety" limit so high? It seems to me that its over the top!"

 

Daffy however pointed out that at 100% the air would be thick with weedeater appointed kites and that the likely falling out would cause CASA to have a huge workload. Further more the main tenet of safe airmanship is "Lookout" if we can get the majority of aircraft out of the sky then a lookout every now and then is good enough....

 

Rat pointed out that darwins theory of evolution suggested that lookout.....

 

 

[Captain]

......... because some feel that those with the most regulations win.

 

 

 

"No" said Dafffff "It's more like 50% of the regulations relate to 69% of the people in RAA although statistically 143% of them just want to fly whatever they have in their hangar, however I am one of the 784% of members who favour 137% overcompliance in 231% of the cases, and as we all know, that leads to ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.........and Hatshsat continued 101%, not even missing polish on the prop spinner. (You don't have a Cummins spinner - OUT!, Your photos are OK Maj, those legs are to die for, but where are the ones of the plane?"

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

But Andy was confused....why was there a fishing line and rod attached to his Cummins Spinner and why was Monsieur Le Blanc tuned to Middle C when his head was tapped? Im thinking that under normal circumstances it should be a few octaves higher, unless there's a lot of empty space in there.....

 

It was suggested by Briney that Buzzwords don't take up much space and as was already suggested 640k was serious overkill for some.....

 

 

[turboplanner]

....one liners.

 

 

[Captain]

It was suggested by Briney that Buzzwords don't take up much space and as was already suggested 640k was serious overkill for some.....

.... one to pay for Andy's 230 and leakdown tester.

 

"Is that a certified leakdown tester, or did you knock it up yourself from bits from Bunsters?" asked Daffy.

 

Andy froze solid, considered whether he could respond and still remain as an L12, he cursed TurdBro, spat out his chewing backy and said "One liners, bugger that, I need all six of them (and 1st oversize too) that are 136% over spec so that only 10% of them will fail the .........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....spit n chew test.

 

 

[Captain]

.....spit n chew test.

"I say, that will never do" responded Dafffff "No wonder RAA has gone to the dogs and there is ill-discipline abounding, so I think that RAA should be 50% sold off to the GFA, 30% to SAAA, 40% to AORTA, 20% to SPHINCTER, and 35% to ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......the CWA who will provide the management.

 

"Now that IS a smart idea" said Maj who could see the possibilities

 

"Why didn't I think of that? said Turbo who had been managed by them.

 

"NO" said.....