The Never Ending Story

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Hatshat!! We want Bondy or the Enron Management team....just as soon as they get out of the clink.......or even better both of them with the Hells Good Flyers Aerocycle (HGFA)patched leather wearers as enforcers......we'll teach that reform bunch to make trouble cried.........

 

 

[turboplanner]

....Hobbles who could sense trouble and was faster than a six gun shooter at changing ships. "I told you so.........................."

 

 

[Captain]

........ when I invented the Hobbles meter (clever return by El Ratty to almost an Avref), which I originally did to record how long Nanna and the hot CWA chicks took to boil their urn."

 

"Well I never" replied Andy, who thought .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"....that's what I had to do, but the urn's a bit rusty these days and.........."

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

The goose barely fitted, but if anyone was going to cook the goose Tubs was....

 

"Wont it make my Tea taste funny" asked Nanna?

 

"No "said Mavis, "Its not too bad with humble pie....." which was required eating as they perused the manual of The SMS that the CASAmonsta had provided for free....... "This isn't a manual said Tubs, Its a Buzzword Bingo guide to better play!"

 

Rat pointed out that the CASAmonsta didn't need an SMS that lifted safety but rather ticked all the boxes so that the CASAmosta was free to terrorise flyins and not spend all its time and money thrashing around in the courts!

 

Maj pointed out that Briney was a bit of a box ticker..... Brianey puffed up and said "Why when I've played around with a box to my satisfactions I ticket and move on just like....."

 

 

[Captain]

.... Andy does with his hats. We both use them, abuse them and then move on. Except that when I tick a box I use a large permanent Texta which Nanna just can't get enough of, yet Mavis much prefers the mid sized Pental white board markers (which she can rub off before moving on to the next bloke)."

 

Then Brine thought about it, phoned the CWA central office where he could hear 20 urns being tested in the background, and sandwich making courses being conducted in the next room to the lamington appreciation classes, and he asked "Do you girls ever meet at the Blue Oyster, would you trust Ahlow to dry his hose within 30 ft of one of your meetings, and ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

...take you for a ride in his Loxenvagen?

 

"Oh No" said the Senior Secretary, "we'd lamington him before he got the chance, then....."

 

 

[Captain]

...... we would use him as part of our sausage sizzle, and if possible also invite the 12 incher to judge our bratwurst making competition this year, because even though we told him time and time again, Loxy always chose the worst bratwurst and not the best."

 

"Well then it would be called bratbest wouldn't it." replied The Locky who was ever applying the cute yet simple logic that had him elevated to the top of the Magnifficenti Moderatti, and now has him primed to be elevated to lead the 2014 version of the Spanish Inquisition if everyone's dad will approve having him move in just down the hall in the Value added tax-o-can.

 

"Geeez-Louise" thunk bull-who-had-been-trying-to-have-McLox-installed- as-the-Anglican-bishop-of-bone."I'll-have-trouble-competing-with-that, (a bit like GWS competing with the Swans to get Buddy), and-I'll-have-to-now ..............

 

Note - Original post edited by my Aunt to disguise just which churches were being referred to, as Ratty is getting on & needs to keep his nose clean + give some thought to studying for St Peter's final exams.

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

<NEWSFLASH>

 

In the back of the latest Sports flyer among the 10,000 aircraft for sale at prices most Ethiopians could afford, or at least could purport to, in a take on the Nigerian scam, was the LOXERVAGON...... The spiel was special, the price was special.....but like the 9900 repeating adds each month there simply weren't enough people interested in the Loxervagon....... Ahlow was questioned....why? they all asked.....

 

"I cant fit the kitchen sink! and as everyone who knows a locksmith knows you need lots of tools" ........"Is that why you frequent the forums?" they asked

 

"No! different type of tool, one that performs work when needed!" "So definitely not a bored then...." they suggested

 

"what will you replace it with, afterall the only bigger thing on the road is a B double?" they asked

 

"I was thinking something along the lines of a Tardis, small on the outside, one hell of a boot...."

 

Don't you already have a szara, they are small on the outside and we've seen what you drag out of it when you go to a flying......In fact not only does it need to have the holding capacity of a tardis but it also needs to magically make everything fit within 600kg max aircraft weight......

 

"Noooo" said Loxy, only those GA tossers have to worry about that...us RozAus guys know when its too much by virtue of the undercarriage legs loosing all there bend and being close to flat and the aircraft needing about 5.5kms of take off run, the first 2kms to accelerate past 30kts...

 

So...anyone seen a Szara Tardis?" he asked hopefully....

 

 

[Bandit12]

So...anyone seen a Szara Tardis?" he asked hopefully....

"Nope" replied Tubby "but you would be amazed at the amount of spare rubber tubes I can fit in my Chair-o-key, so many that......

 

 

[turboplanner]

"l'll never have to carry a spare again"

 

"What about passengers?" asked Harriet

 

"Well.........."

 

 

[Captain]

defiler@coffs[/email]' date=' post: 27041, member: 0"']So...anyone seen a Szara Tardis?" he asked hopefully....

... "No, but I know a tardy Zara" was the reply.

 

"So are we back again talking about matters relating to Harry Holt's swim across the Channel to Dunedin?" asked ElRatsack

 

"What about passengers?" asked Harriet

 

"Well.........."

 

 

"What" replied Andy who was a bit bowel-centric "Pass engers? I have trouble passing what goes into the hat, let alone trying to fit engers through ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

Many years ago an old man in Martin Place told Turbo the true story about Harold Holt. After being swept away by a strong undertow, he was washed ashore in Vietnam. Here he was captured by the Viet Cong who asked him his name. Understandably he had a cold from the long trip, and sneezed as he said Holt. It came out as Ho Chi Min.

 

He was captured and made leader because all the other Australians didn't vote, saying "I only want to shoot"

 

 

[Captain]

...... TurdBro, because of his recent stories and jokes."

 

"Hurrro" said Ho "Prease don't knock my brother Turdy as I am indeed Harold Chi Min (Chi Min is actuary Vietnamese for gesuntheit) but my mates call me Hally Holt Min, and as a past Plime Minister of this gleat Countly I can onry say ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"......What happen to that rittle snot Birry McMahon, and ................"

 

 

[Captain]

...... don't you worry about that" said Mavis "As Birry was a real goer, but after Ho's success, on 2nd thoughts he may have either been Pol Pot or Mrs Nehru, and on reflection, Ruddy does look a bit like Nelson Mandella when the light shines from the NW ....... and Julia does have that Ahlox walk, so perhaps ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

"....she might start a rock shop in Adelaide with........."

 

 

[Captain]

... with Salty playing live doing a Bill Haley impersonation (kiss-curl & all) and Turdbro in support impersonating Bill's Comets, as after all, Turdy is pretty burnt out.

 

AhRox is then booked to do a Chubby Checker set, and the FlugelViszler will 2nd bill for him doing 2 hours of Aretha Franklin numbers (Aretha will be supported by her brother Buddy).

 

Andy & the 12 Incher will then .............

 

 

[Captain]

....... dance the night away, before they ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....all moved over to Turbo's place, went for a ride in the boat in the dam, "parked" as Turbo said up the side of the dam, hopped into the Glenfiddock, and spent the rest of the night telling lurid stories on the marine fishing frequency, until.......

 

 

[Captain]

... it was 8 hours bottle to throttle (AvRef).

 

"Don't youze worry about that" said Tubb (JoRef) "As I've been much more pisseder than this and still flown home from Moorabin to ye olde Bange-it-Holme."

 

"I have to be paralytic to fly, as it's the only way that I stop worrying about the danger" said a new Forum Member who was looking for someone to post him a backbone (FrightenedStudentRef).

 

"I agree" slurred Ahlox and I am the leader of gli Magsniffecent Moderphartti (Forumref) and I give us all permission to continue slurping 'cause I reckon that 30 minutes throttle to bottle will be fine, or it was before the Human Fat-chics course (inebriated AvRef) became PC, and as we all know, PC stands for .................

 

 

[Bandit12]

......"POLICE CONSTABLE" interrupted Sgt 12er of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police loudly, who at that moment had materialised on a horse that looked a little like a CatInTheHat.

 

"Wot's all this drinkin about?" he asked. "You boys are nicked."

 

While pondering this wierd event, Ahlox realised that the new forum member must have slipped him a date rape drug, which explained.........

 

 

[Captain]

......... a lot, as inebriated or not, Ahlow had never needed a date rape drug before (hence his nickname of DFSA'ee).

 

"I don't understand" said the constable from the Canadian Club Mounted Police "Does that mean that you are also ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

........a Mountie"

 

"Careful!" said Monty.......

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

cause that rat is known as a Mounter and will take a position over a Mountie in a heartbeat if you let him out of your sight....Just ask Nanna who.......

 

"If he does it'll be his last Mount ever" yelled the 12er..."I'll skin his hide and.....