The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

"...sell it as a possum skin."

 

"WHAT!" said Turbo looking up from his breakfast of seasoned possum entrails "I'll have yer guts for breakfast and..........."

 

 

[Captain]

..... your nuts for a necklace (a nut necklace (NutRef) is all the rage around the Harry Hawker aero-porto for the receipt and despatch of those new fangled flying machines), before I shove your giblets into .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"....your eyehole backwards, then.................."

 

 

[Captain]

..... it will be a considerable improvement over your usual ..........

 

 

[turboplanner]

"...Vitamin B squinty eyed big eared bandylegged lolling tongued cookie monster appearance, not to mention......"

 

 

[Captain]

..... that pug face with the eyes about 3" too close together, and that tail that sticks up exposing everything, which are all off-centre by about ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

"one knut, and the streaky, wrinkled face that would put a dingo off its dinner, with teeth (all two) as.................."

 

 

[Captain]

... his finest feature.

 

"Well, I don't think he's all that bad, really, all things considered" said Mavis "And being duo cuspid is ..............

 

 

[Bryon]

.....is not something that you want a new girlfriend to find out about before you.......

 

 

[Captain]

...... put the hard word on her.

 

"Good point, Salty" said Ratsack "Except if your girlfriend (OptimisticRef) is uni-cuspid, in which case he would look like the belle of the ball."

 

"And speaking of balls, there is a strong chance that he is also uni-globular, in which case she ...........

 

 

[Bandit12]

....might not be too impressed with the size of his through bolt (AvRef) and suggest that he go in for an STC (AvRef) in the hopes that his STD (PoxRef) might....

 

 

[Captain]

...... frighten off replies from the regular NES'ers.

 

"Yes" said ElRatto "All this talk of std deviation is sure to concern old Loxie, who is extremely sensitive to standard deviance, after all he is one of the ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

moderati extraordinaire who specialise in special deviance, and not only that but are one eyed, and even...

 

 

[Captain]

moderati extraordinaire who specialise in special deviance, and not only that but are one eyed, and even...

...... handed.

 

"But being uni-ocular, uni-globular, uni-molar, uni-cameral (and thank goodness he only has one of those) and uni-que, our best and favourite Moderattori was flabbergasted and said in a Valentino Rossi accent ".............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......My bika she bust so now hef to riiiiiide, to work, in hossncart like ebrybloody else, and ............

 

 

[Captain]

.... anyone-a who rides-a white bike is a very kool guy."

 

"I agree Vale" responded Brine "And what's more, AhLox may be a bit suss, but he is OUR AhLox and we luff heem (said with the accent of the old Polish lady with the pony in Seinfeld (my seester's had AhLox, my brother's had AhLox and we all luffed heem)." {Dear reader ........ does this mean that AhLox has been involved in a ménage-à-cztery with that family .... stay tuned for more breaking news]

 

"Now hang on there" interjected the ruiner of Hats and the 12 Incher in unison "We think that luff might be too strong a term (a bit like the terms that Colonel Franklin uses when he discusses those aircraft from S'n f'n Q) and we think ..........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......you shut all be vaccinated against Ahlox, which is so bat zey couldn't put p in it, und.............

 

 

[Bryon]

......ve haf vays off makink you talk, said Mavis

 

"Ooooooh sighed Poxalot..."I luff it ven you talk dirty to me, especially when you insist that I wear........

 

 

[Captain]

.... it out."

 

Then it really hit the fan, as Andy was jealous of Thing-a-Lot's success, bull was concerned that Thing-a-lot would work his way through all of the available partners before bull had a chance, and Brine was worried because Gay Marriage laws were passed in the ACT yesterday and he thought that Loxie might be ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....married already, and started to get teary eyed.

 

Reaching for his ever-ready whiskey he said "........

 

 

[Captain]

....married already, and started to get teary eyed.Reaching for his ever-ready whiskey he said "........

"I pay be missed but I want everyone to know that I love Loxlie like a brother, and that has great nigsificance down Nongedand way, and .................

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....but before he could go on Turbo broke in...."Even if Locshees married, dusn matter........what was I saying?....dunsen mat cause he's the local....whas in this drink, Brine?"

 

"No's not brine" said Salty, 's poor, pure whhhh, whhhhhhhhhhhh, shisky made collusively, in Gowa....Gogga...New South Wales by our maate" and here he started to cry again "Rat, who's my DEAREST friend....a friend indeed is a friend in in indeed....and he stidils it from mocsin skins"

 

"Wha kindve aminal is that?" asked Turbo

 

"They inhabite in winter and live in Frankston" said Salty with the usual Dandenong curl to the lip when discussing Frankston.

 

"What............."

 

 

[Captain]

........'s all this about?" asked Madge (who is still trying to be nice to everyone to maximise the yield of votes (RAARef)), "Does anyone have an app that will translate from Tink's Mexican into .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

............Portageez (sp) which is seiziez, sezery, easy as Mexcanin to ansterund. The Candidate went on (as he does) "I'm feelin (as he does) genius, genrus tonight and ....."

 

 

[Captain]

..... am keen to know the genus of who or what I will be spending the night with."

 

"Obrigardo" said Paulo the Portugese, who was a dark swarthy stranger with a dark swarthy secret.

 

But TurdBro the mulato was swarthier and said "............