turboplanner Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 "show them a photo of SuperPete in his tight shorts, and they'll soon understand how dangerous a wiggle can be......"
Captain Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 "show them a photo of SuperPete in his tight shorts, and they'll soon understand how dangerous a wiggle can be......" "Mind you" said Tubbb "If anyone wants to see how to blow up a boat engine, then I'm their man. You should see me .......................
ahlocks Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 "show them a photo of SuperPete in his tight shorts, and they'll soon understand how dangerous a wiggle can be......" Hmmm, frivolity..:thumb_up: Squintstar.. :ah_oh: back later with a rebuttal....:clown: -------------- The thong of the Pete may be seen by the masses
turboplanner Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 "Mind you" said Tubbb "If anyone wants to see how to blow up a boat engine, then I'm their man. You should see me ....................... ..counting the rivets in a Squintass" In fact Tubbo suggests that the Squintass be placed in the main street of Echuca as a warning to can squashing vandals, and as a fundraiser. "You could have people guessing how many rivets in it to raise money for charity" he said "or you could have a competition to count how many rivets were missing" "It would certainly make a change from looking at Ute bullbars" he said. Locksie wasn't all that keen putting his pride and joy in the main street of Echeewga, because you know how those people drive, and spend 20 hours a day driving from Echuca to Moama and Moama to Echuca and Echuca to Moama just because they can. "They should just change the name from Moama to Echuca and save everyone a lot of fuel" he thought. And it was thinking that became his undoing, as he realised the main street was big enough for him to land on, if he didn't overshoot, which he frequently did when Riverland Lass was around, and he knew the Squintass wouldn't turn left, even if it made a noise like clean up time at the pub as the mains touched. He carefully plotted his flight plan.....
ahlocks Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 ..He carefully plotted his flight plan..... 1. Takeoff 2. Fly west 3. See end of earth 4. land 5. Welcome to Chewka! ..But figured that if he doesn't pull his finger out and get the necessary bits and pieces together for the pending 150 hour oil change and inspection, he'd be going nowhere. :confused::ah_oh: Three litres of olive oil (for the suntan, not the engine...But then again it is european..) An Oxford dictionary of slavik swear words ..... lockwire, say no more?? i_dunno Maybe something that will tempt an airtractor :heart::heart: into fits of passion...You never know, they still might breed. :devil: And most importantly a new Bingleswell atlas! Wouldn't want to end up at the lovaklan river in error... ------------------ the rebuttal was weak....just like Pete's thong. :black_eye:
Captain Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 And most importantly a new Bingleswell atlas! Wouldn't want to end up at the lovaklan river in error... "No" said Boggles "Does anyone really take-off every time they fly? The best way to get there is, because there are no features with which to navigate, you fly along the Murrumbidgeelovak until you get to Mildurovac, and then yee chuck a McU-ee & fly along the McMurray in a McEasterly direction (and that is McImportant) until you land at McSwan McHill in what is almost always a McHowling McCrosswind, then on to McHewka to see McPete (who wears a McThong under his McKilt {McErcky McPerky}) & camp in his McBackyard, so have you got that now?" "Och Eye" said McAhloch "I have programmed that into the garminovak in my SportovakMcStar and I'm ready for yee, except that ................... The thong of the Pete is in his ..........
turboplanner Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 "Och Eye" said McAhloch "I have programmed that into the garminovak in my SportovakMcStar and I'm ready for yee, except that ................... "I don't know whether to start a fight or scratch my sporran" However, he did know that if he wanted to get to McPete's Diner at McChuka he'd have to start now, as everyone knew that the Retrex had a top speed approaching that of a T model Ford, and all those rivets poking out in the breeze wouldn't help. It was a mild 39 degrees when he drove down to YSWGWG, and something struck him as odd. "Where are all the Jabortwos?" he thought. But they were all indoors wrapped in bags of ice, because everyone knew it was like the story of Cinderalla; if you flew them in temperatures above 38 degrees, they turned into pumpkins. All except one little Jab. "Stuff the lot of you, especially you Pelican, you Italian tin loving wimp, I'm gonna give this site a wide berf in the future" said the hero from Port McGusta. He took off first but veered too far to the left and was promptly Biggled, so AirLovakMcLok had the lane to McChooker to himself, and he needed all of it...
Captain Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 "I don't know whether to start a fight or scratch my sporran"... It is well known around YSWGWGSWGWG that the vac will always choose to scratch his sporran ................. well not so much "scratch" as rub it pretty mcgently and for a longish mctime ......... but that is another (NE) story. He took off first but veered too far to the left and was promptly Biggled, so AirLovakMcLok had the lane to McChooker to himself, and he needed all of it... For the Ahloch had been instructed by an ex skywriter who had taken up an AAR IFC's job when it was shown that he was dislexic, ("I'm not paying you a fortune to write "UOY EVOL I" at 3000 ft" said a client) and Ahloch had been trained to always practice his ABD's whenever he flew any long distance. "That is why I bought the SprtZar" he dias "As it is great to fly when I am skywritting, dna ............. The hand of the ahloch is on his sporran
turboplanner Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 For the Ahloch had been instructed by an ex skywriter who had taken up an AAR IFC's job when it was shown that he was dislexic, ("I'm not paying you a fortune to write "UOY EVOL I" at 3000 ft" said a client) and Ahloch had been trained to always practice his ABD's whenever he flew any long distance. "That is why I bought the SprtZar" he dias "As it is great to fly when I am skywritting, dna ............. "narrops ym gnihctarcs". Skcavolha had become a reverse lettered aluminium rivetted bubble packed SprtZar tragic through no fault of his own. He'd actually placed an order with Dennis Borchardt in Kingston for a Lightning, which really could get up and go, but because of his writing affliction thge order had been sent to Brno, and the rest is history. He sat there cruising, deciding which joystick to use for this leg of the flight, and looking down on the McMurray, which he'd decided top follow. Round and round and round and round he went following every bend until he became giddy and his mind started to wander to ...
turboplanner Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 The Retrex immediately surrendered; there was nothing on the tacho but the maker's name. Three seconds later the aircraft (we'll call it that for the czmoment) began to shudder, and a second and a half later (thanks for the idea Merv, bout time you wrote something), the horizon shot up the side of the bubble - like an old lemonade bottle in a dirty creek. Ahlovak hadn't had these experiences for some time, and understandably was slow to react. Nor had he practised whip stalls, as recommended by Bigglesovak, although how Bigglesovak managed to get into this violent manoeuvre, he hadn't said. He fell backwards, the horizon disappeared and was replaced by a rotating landscape with a concrete crushing plant dead centre. His eyeballs were pressing out of his ears. It was time to make some new year's resolutions, one of which was not to play with joysticks because it only tempted Le Crappe. The McSportsCar (built in Scotland under licence) was buzzing, flapping and making a noise like heavy hail as all the loose rivets jumped around inside the fuselage. Masterfully he applied the incipient spin correction he'd been taught by his instructor, not realising that after seven rotations he was probably in a full blooded spin. He looked down and saw the sandwiches which the concrete crusher workers were eating for lunch. The aluminium collection began to recover, but then Oh No, it had caught the deadly Wayward Jabertoo disease, flicked out level on its back but was locked in a tight turn, and a message flashing on the EFIS saying "Czech the AD first Slovensly!" What was he to do next?....
Captain Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 What was he to do next?.... "Go to Hold C ............ and Smoke On" he thought "I'm bloody good and I'm off to do the Red Bull circuit this year. Who needs an Extra when I have a SportsZsar" said Ahhhhhhhhhhhloch (for he just did it again) "Mind the station for me Skipper, I'm off to give Pete Besinjay a hiding (not that there is anything wrong with that) and while I'm there I'll ................ The aspiration of the Steve is achievable, but let's hope he doesn't end up planted in the garden ........ or on top of my aunt.
turboplanner Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 get all the loose rivets off the floor. Geez they hurt when they hit you in the face during a spin. But it had all been a dream; nothing had happened and he was still sitting there with his hand on it. He realised that if he went to Czchukaski he would be ostracised as the boy in the bubble and made to park somewhere else, probably in Moama, so realising that CzlonesomePeter had been neglected in the recent flaggellation, he decided to do some brown nosing in order to make sure of a sleeping space under the peachPete tree.....
Captain Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Best we give poor ahlock a bit of a breather and go back to pick on LeftalonePete again, so: CzlonesomePeter had been neglected in the recent flaggellation, he decided to do some brown nosing in order to make sure of a sleeping space under the peachPete tree..... ...... "for PeachPete's buttocks do look a bit like a ripe peach, albeit a tad bruised in places" thought Le Crappee, "It's because he wears one of those "lift & separate" thongs, and due to ..........
BigPete Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 "aw me, here we go again", said WhippingBoyPete (to himself) as he read the Captains :heart: last post. "Geez when things get slow lets all have a go at "DoesHeExistPete, :confused: IsHeGayPete ;) (not that there's anything wrong with that) and IsHeDoingTheRiverlandGirlsPete :broken_heart:. Meanwhile SlartiBustItTwinHotplate flys around unblemished, Paley is still on holidays, :thumb_up: IanI'llSellAnything is squeaky clean (and low in profile) PlainDrivel is somewhat silent and the famous Le Crappe :broken_heart: serves it up to everybody and anybody, but MainlyPoorOldKickHimInTheNutsWhenHe'sAroundPete. :black_eye: WELL ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - ALREADY. I am not an animal :ah_oh: - I have feelings, if you cut me, do I not bleed. :big_grin: I is, therefore I am.(Sheesh) and :yuk:. ThinSkinnedAndSomeWhatHormonalPete pours himself another gin and plots to get even :hittinghead: with somebody. Soon. regards :big_grin::big_grin:
Captain Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 ThinSkinnedAndSomeWhatHormonalPete and ........is really a Squintstar, as you have to look really hard to see its good points. Geez I wished I had thought of those. You are the leader of the pack, WittyfastthinkingPete ...... "for PeachPete's buttocks do look a bit like a ripe peach, albeit a tad bruised in places" thought Le Crappee, "It's because he wears one of those "lift & separate" thongs, and due to .......... "A bit bruised in places? .. A BIT BRUISED IN PLACES ?" exclaimed Tubb "His ding looks like somebody has dropped a case of peaches out of the back of a Hercules (while at cruise level)" he added. "Hang on there outboardstufferTubb" said the Crappee in defence of the campgroundproviderPete "If'n he really existed he would be my mate, and a Anzac Day camp ground provider, so ................
turboplanner Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 "WELL ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - ALREADY. ....apparently Jewish as well; have a bagel I:heart:NYPete and settle down. Tub made a mental note not to order breakfast when he stays there, just to be safe. And this violent outburst opens up new questions; does BugeyePeter really exist or is he an alien and his Jab a UFO in fibreglass skin? "I'm not saying he is" mused CZTub (forgot, we were going to leave him alone), "but when you read some of the posts round here you tend to get an eerie feeling" "yes, some of the events described do seem to defy the laws of gravity" said Le Crappe, looking over his left shoulder, just in case his Jab was following. "Take MusicMan; If you believe what he says, he can land a Jab on the back side of a wakeboard" said Tub wincing at the thought of rebuilding two blown outboard motors "I tried it and skidded into February" Just then there was a faint sound "Grizzle, Grizzle, Grizzle" it went. The sound continued for some time "Grizzle, Grizzle, Grizzle" (We can't give you the full length version because it took four hours to cover the half kilometre), and a Grizzle appeared over the River. (Now there's a UFO if ever I saw one!) Out the window squinted the beady eyes of IanthePerfect who really has been escaping scot free on this thread; it's just so hard to find something bad on him. When he finally landed it was hard to get a coherent statement but it apperas that he had just cruised up to make sure EvilKnevilPete was distributing sleeping spots in his back yard fairly (he'd managed to place two thousand Jab pilots so far, most of who had managed to find the place by btaking a left turn at the edge of town. Anyway he was Grizzle, Grizzle, Grizzling along checking off the 10 hour intervals when the sky went green, and he saw Bigglehawk diving in on him, eyes ablaze with resentment at being cut just for publishing material for which the Christians would require an exorcism. "Ban me then, just ban me" screamed Bigglehawk and dived on the Grizzle, but overshot and finished up in Geraldton, only to find Caroline had moved to Karratha where she was shacked up with a truck driver (but a nice one). It was all too much for IanThePerfect who made the fatal mistake of complaining to FesteringPete. Said Pete: "You think that's rough, already???!!! Well how would you like.....
Captain Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Said Pete: "You think that's rough, already???!!! Well how would you like..... ..... to have had your clacker described the way mine was in post #817 ... my boy (you've gotta pick a pocket or 2)? When we all know that it really looks like a .............
ahlocks Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 ...Wuthering Height.... Perhaps a heightening wither with all that uplifting separation. :devil: Ahlovak will now have to spend several days concocting something up after reading through the prolific ponderings of this morning!:ah_oh::ah_oh: But as an aside, the confusion with the Sportztsars multiple joysticks is easily sorted. You soon figure out if you have the correct one when you punch the electric trim button! :ah_oh: ( and there nothing wrong with that ;)...is there?:confused:) ========== The thong of the pete is in Heathcliffe's Garden?
Captain Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 ...Wuthering Height.... Ah ..... visions of Kate Bush screaming "Smoke on, Skipper, and go to Hold Geeeee" ..... and Pete's bush ..... and Kate's (electric trim) buttons ..... and ripe peaches ..... and Peter Besinjay ..... and a hand in a pocket (or two) ..... and our hot Administrator ..... Oh where will it end? "It'll end at ..................... The fantasies of my Aunt are in the garden
turboplanner Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 But as an aside, the confusion with the Sportztsars multiple joysticks is easily sorted. You soon figure out if you have the correct one when you punch the electric trim button! :ah_oh: ( and there nothing wrong with that ;)...is there?:confused:) Ahslovaks raises an interesting point here. Some years ago Tub was trying to get a dual control garbage truck registered and the Registration Bureaucrat (a) thought he was seeing double, and (b) wasn't going to have any of this double dipping nonsense. A mild fist fight was about to get underway when the supervisor came out, and not wishing to show his ignorance, showed it just the same when he said: "No we can't register this because if the driver tries to turn right and the passenger tries to turn left there could be an accident. Tub valiantly tried to tell the knuckledraggers about the airline industry where the aircraft could finish up going in any direction once the pilot and co pilot started playing, but it was to no avail. He thought how much easier would it have been if one of the steering wheels had a trim tab, and he could have started their heads nodding and told them how only the one with the red button really worked, the other one was just so the frigging passenger thought he was someone imporant. They would have been nodding their heads for days. However, since Akslovakia had raised the issue, Tub had to point out that trim tabs on the control columns while APPEARING a good idea were for wimps, and provided nowhere near the mental stimulus, arm throwing and double jointing that a landing approach in a Jab provides...and that's before it decides to either turn left, flick upside down or throw out any other challenge as part of its inbuilt anti-fatique system. Everyone knew that Real Men flew Jabs and were ambidexterous. SmartingBlisteredBethongedPete was a bit bewildered by all this because all he did was hop in his Jab, turn the key, gently float around for a while then land as lightly as a feather dead on the runway centreline as smooth as any smoothy in the McChooga milk bar (except for the redhead of course). He...
Captain Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 SmartingBlisteredBethongedPete was a bit bewildered by all this because all he did was hop in his Jab, turn the key, gently float around for a while then land as lightly as a feather dead on the runway centreline as smooth ams any smoothy in the McChooga milk bar (except for the redhead of course). He... .... and on a Zac, because he always ................... The precision of our Pete is too amazing for my Aunt
BigPete Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 quote when you punch the electric trim button! :ah_oh: ( and there nothing wrong with that ;)...is there?:confused:) end quote ..but Bollocks, :raise_eyebrow: (who is the John McEnroe :yuk: of aviation) is now wanted by the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Aircraft) for Sqintstar abuse. "We can't have his kind in aviation punching poor defenceless aeroplanes" they cried. After this episode, the Captain :heart: figured (and rightly so) that guilt by association was a fair bet, :black_eye: and took pains to distance himself from the abuser. "He seemed like such a nice boy", the Captain :heart: said to his Aunt i_dunno (as she looked for her missing biro), but you can't always tell a Sqintstar driver by the cut of his jib or the width of his headset. (and there's plenty wrong with that). :big_grin: Unfortunately, the abuse report has been sent to headquarters along with a renewal for first DriftA:censored: aircraft registration built in Australia out of bailing wire and corrogated iron (pinched from from the backyard dunny of the original QANTAS hanger circa 1929). Will justice be served....... regards :big_grin::big_grin:
Captain Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Will justice be served....... .... asked the Riverland lass? "You shouldn't clout that cute little aluminium sculpture of an aircraft. Here, come and punch this for a while and I guarantee that your middle european temper will be slated" Oh ............ OK "said McAhloch after thinking about it for a while "What do you call that?" "Kate" she replied and ...................... Our friend Planey is checking out the NES again but will be dive back in said the Aunt?
Guest Geoff1563861416 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Yo WhippingBoyPete I heard a rumor SlartiBustItTwinHotplate has given up the demon Plonk poor I'mstraightGeoff will go broke:censored: now unless JabiruJetJuice takes off. :yuk:Will squeaky clean I'llSellAnything Ian be still off the smokes:wasnt me: at the next Echuca Flyin AAAA Airshow spectacular?????????
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