The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

...footprints.

 

" I am a plumber" he said, and just to make it uncomfortable for Ahlot, "which is like a locksmith on steroids. If we don't fix OUR jobs, we are in the sh$t!"

 

What could Ahlot say -

 

 

[Captain]

...footprints." I am a plumber" he said, and just to make it uncomfortable for Ahlot, "which is like a locksmith on steroids. If we don't fix OUR jobs, we are in the sh$t!"

 

What could Ahlot say -

..... except "Geeez that's a beauty ........................... can you come over here so that I can measure the length of my farm strip" (AvRef).

 

 

 

"Oh no" replied the FootLong, feigning indignation but secretly proud of the admiration of his peers "I couldn't do .......................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"....that, someone might land on it and then what would I do?"

 

 

[Captain]

"We could perhaps just use it to mark the centreline on my farm strip" suggested Poxy-Loxy, who was still amazed that the Bandit had enough blood left to keep his brain ticking over. "Or we could ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

''''second you to the Gumley Gumley First Attack truck to speed up their first response, which usually "Not again, and ......"

 

 

[Captain]

......... we don't know how to unlock the door of the 1st Attack Depot, so does anyone know a ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

".....locksmith?"

 

There was dead silence; no one knew a locksmith.

 

"Dose anyone know a..............?"

 

 

[Captain]

......nyone who even masquerades as a smith of locks, or as we are desperate, even a .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

".........smithy, or even a Jonesy, or ............"

 

 

[Bandit12]

....an olive green onesie (RAAFref) might do the trick.

 

"I've got something to open your loxies" said the dapper Madge. "This little trick opens.....

 

 

[turboplanner]

...sardine cans, railway points, and the door to the local lockup, and...........

 

 

[Bryon]

............in extreme circumstances, can unlock Elrattos beer fridge at the BOB

 

This of course brings poxyloxie running as he always........

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........and that's when the story turned serious. The Rat had never told anyone he was a BOB member, and nor had he told anyone he had a secret fridge, with a lock made by his nemesis, and now he had been outed.

 

It was all too...........

 

 

[Captain]

...... much for your beloved Rat.

 

"If I'm gunna be "outed"" he said "Well OUT this" and then, always the showman, he unzipped his camo onesie (that was a funny line, Bandy) and stepped out in all his birthday suit glory.

 

"It's about time he had the suit pressed and the holes repaired" commented The Poxster "And ...............

 

Below is a picture of Ratty before stepping out of his camo Onesie. This is a poor photo as he is actually much better looking ............ and better endowed.

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

Exposé .................... Exposé .................... Exposé .................... Exposé .................... Exposé ....................

 

 

As a further service to NES readers, your Investigator Rat came across the below photo of an original statue of Pythagoras.

 

 

 

Now, Investigator Rat does not subscribe to conspiracy theories, but doesn't he look the spit of Osama bed Linen, even to that smartarse little tilt of his head?

 

 

 

Either that, or in Pakistan last year the yanks perhaps killed the father of ancient mathematics who must have also developed an algorithm for eternal life.

 

 

 

Or perhaps the sum of the squares of the other two sides was a secret bomb-making formula ...................... or maybe Pythy, as he liked to be called, just liked a square root, ....................... or........

 

 

 

 

I would be interested in Turbo's opinion on this as Bandy told Ratty that Turdy went to school with Pythy.

 

 

[Captain]

Then the 3 days of silence in the NES was broken by a blood-curdling scream that echoed up and down the coast from Coughs, when all NES readers heard the boss of the Coughs CWA yell .......... "You DIRTY little bugger, Andy, you have overfilled that one & right next to our lamington cooking lessons too, and now you want to ...........

 

 

[Bandit12]

.....stick a new wire in my old hinge!!!! That's not safe at all, my mother warned me about people like.....

 

 

[Captain]

.....stick a new wire in my old hinge!!!! That's not safe at all, my mother warned me about people like.....

....... youze, and now here I am sharing my innermost deep dark secrets (and occasional bodily fluids) on the NES with the likes of youze all, & without even the hint of an ................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

pro falaktic.......They are so expensive !" said Banditress

 

"even amateur falaktics aren't a sure thing!"suggested Mrs Turdetsta

 

"OH I know!....and the union rules for falaktics are so unfair to companies! how they will ever make a profit is beyond me" said Ratima!

 

"what can we do?" Ratima asked

 

Banditress, who was amazing with what she could do with 12 inches, suggested that" it was time the males of the species solved this problem!"

 

so all 3 ladies of the Coughs CWA dragged the coconut and cocoa mixture down to El Rat and said.......

 

 

[Bandit12]

"Take these away, and don't come back until you have come up with chocolate-coconuts. And if you even think of taking them to Mrs El Ratta Hari, we will.....

 

 

[turboplanner]

....force one of those coconuts, minus the chocolate and plus the husk right...............

 

 

[Captain]

....... where Andy's sun doesn't shine, then we'll point him at Indonesia and wait for the explosion (plus we'll save another hat from a fate worse that death)."

 

 

 

"That will be good, as it will make them forget about the spying allegations." said Tony A.

 

 

 

"But" said Bill Shortarse-LongForehead "Andy is already a bit of an international incident (or should that read "accident") after he .........................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

dropped the Indonesian president Pseudo BamBam Ohmygodno into the lamington coating mix to try and hide Andys attempts at bugging Pseudos' wife!

 

Andy, as we all know is fantastic at bugging people, just ask the RozAus board about how he bugs them.....Rat too was adept at getting people to say things they didn't mean necessarily to say.....

 

why there was that time when......

 

 

[Captain]

dropped the Indonesian president Pseudo BamBam Ohmygodno into the lamington coating mix to try and hide Andys attempts at bugging Pseudos' wife!

Andy, as we all know is fantastic at bugging people, just ask the RozAus board about how he bugs them.....Rat too was adept at getting people to say things they didn't mean necessarily to say.....

 

why there was that time when......

........... he convinced Eeeeeen to say "As I am off increasing the efficiency of the Australian construction industry at the moment, how about you take over as Emeritus Rodentus Administrator of this site, and because Loxy is also such a pain in the ars* (NTTIAWWT) you can be top rodent as ModeRATorri Magnificenttti too."

 

 

 

On hearing of this the rest of the Forum Members buggered off (NTTIAWWTAW) quick sticks to the pppppppdate site and ..................

 

 

[Bandit12]

....started a petition to the government to save Holden, and reduce the price of ratsack at the same time.

 

"It was always doomed to failure" mused the Rat later "My sack is already free to anyone who wants a piece, and......