The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

Turbo is not computer savvy and doesn't know how to get back out of the blue footnote comments, but ......

....... this is an interesting comment by TurdBro, who Ratty knows for sure doesn't have any trouble getting into numerous Blues on other threads in this Forum, when Turbo has the ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

...unenviable task of representing the downtrodden, the homeless, and the hungry GA pilots, where...................

 

 

[Captain]

..... men are men, ladies are sheilas, LAME's are nervous, the CASA Inspectors are BIG %$#@'s, everyone (including each one of the down-their-nose-gazing members of the Board of the SAAA) is just one medical away from being a loyal and enthusiastic member of RAA, and the .................

 

 

[Captain]

....but would like to wish his fellow NESsers a happy Christmas.

Same like the 12 Incher said. Compliments of the Season to all who contributed here in 2013, for making this a bit of fun.

 

 

My Aunt wants to know if anyone has seen AndyCoughs&Splutters, as he appears to have gone missing from the NES and she hopes that some Board Member, who Andy has shirt-fronted during the year, hasn't put a contract out on him.

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Andy's boss rang him a week ago and said get you ar$e on a plane.....No....A real one....down to Sydney quick smart where said boss said "Merry Christmas...and by the way....your fired come the 31st of January".....and so it came to pass...well..actually more accurately it will come to pass that Andy became ex of BAE Systems after 18 years....... So having been involved in a 200plus person IT department it fell on Andy to sniff out all the IT opportunities present in Coughs!!! Low and behold they were as thick on the ground as Loxy's conquests.....which was to say that at coughs IT jobs were as common as Lotto wins in the town.....

 

As such Andys been pondering his options and his belly button and not necessarily in that order so that poking fun in NES became less of an issue until the means to put the vegemite back on the table had been re-established, let alone the need for an occasional thru bolt or yet another thermocouple to measure the temp at yet one more place on the jabirooter engine.

 

24months ago the workforce for BAE Systems was circa 4 times that, that has been tossed about in the press for Holdens in SA,.......nearly 1/4 of that workforce has left or been pushed and not a thing has been said in the media.......

 

So Merry Christmas to all...especially my %$^& boss!

 

We now return you to your normal NES programing where Rat is serving it up to all and sundry as fast as they are returning service....

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

And compliments of the season to you all also........................../$&@@#%+# Madge.........

 

 

[Bryon]

And compliments of the season to you all also........................../$&@@#%+# Madge.........

Now this is a fine example of NESSitude....where are the MM when you need em...Madge cant even spell /$&@@#%+# right

 

I suppose we should be thankful that Nobu didn't try and say it.....

 

and just in case I don't see you tonight at the BOB......MCAAHNY to all:ecstatic:

 

 

[turboplanner]

We'll give you references Andy; always a problem when you are in a specialist industry.

 

 

[Captain]

We'll give you references Andy; always a problem when you are in a specialist industry.

"Geeez Louise" thought Andy "A reference from Turdy, Rathole, Poxy & Scabby Loxie, the 12 Incher and Salty. How can I possibly go wrong."

 

 

 

"I'll give you a lefelence, arso" volunteered Acki.

 

 

 

"Oh yeah" said Andy "With a lefelence flom a convicted excaped war climinal I'll then have the full set. And worse still, some of them even fly behind an Axe"

 

 

 

And this demonstrated very clearly that things could indeed get worse for Andy, plus he had a bit of a rumble in his comic-cuts from a crook bit of CWA Xmas pudding ...... and no hat in sight, so he ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....started to turn pink, then brown, then green, and Christmas pudding started to ooze..........................

 

 

[Captain]

....started to turn pink, then brown, then green, ..........................

........ which are the same colours that the 12 Incher turns as it goes from 3 to 12, and eventually to a shiny purple type colour.

 

....Christmas pudding started to ooze..........................

....... from each opening, including his ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........apostrophe, but.........

 

 

[Captain]

........ in his usual manner, Andy handled the oozing with aplomb and said " I know, I'll stick a plumb in it and sell it at the next Farmer's Market, on a stand with a name that will attract a lot of attention, called ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

".....Organic Christmas Surprise."

 

"There will be surprises in many homes next year then" said...........

 

 

[Captain]

.......... Nanna, who added "My hearing isn't all that it used to be and I am partly blind too, so you boys can guess what I have been up to each day for the past 60 years, (and Merry Christmas to all you fine studs in the NES too, .... plus Madge the @#&* as well. Come up and see me some time ..... for a good time) and WOO HOO .......... Did he say "Organic" or ..........................

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....was he full of chemicals.

 

"I prefer organics" she said "I like to get at least one organic a day, and of possible doubles or triples" but the with the likes of Ratstud, Poxy and Salty that happens less and less these days"

 

"I was thinking of trying Madge out but someone said he was like a rooster, and................."

 

 

[Captain]

..... a duck, a wombat, a big @#&%, a dolphin, a grubby weasel looking creature, a red-roo buck, an old squid with bits bitten out of it, a female Pekinese, and a ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........mangy blue heeler with worms.

 

In fact Turbo can report that some are saying worse things than that on a current thread when he dared to inject some reality into it, and then............

 

 

[Bandit12]

....was poked in the eye for his troubles. This caused Turbo some issues with his sight, as his other eye had been blinded previously when......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......set upon by members of the local CWA branch, apparently with an appetite for something more urgent than tomato soup, and.......

 

 

[Captain]

...... a Captain Hook fetish.

 

 

 

So Turdy just went with the flow, he pulled his eye-patch down over his good eye, puffed out his ample chest, and said "Ahhhh, Mavis my lassie (for she looked a bit like a Collie) look into this barrel (which came loose during Andy's last thru-bolt episode), feel my stump (on my peg leg) say hello to Polly on my shoulder, then lie back and think of England."

 

 

 

"Bugger Blighty, I love a massage-eau-trois" replied Mave "And g'day Polly, aren't you a member of the Upper Cumbuckter West CW&LA, and what are you doing up there on his/her/its .................

 

 

 

This is Turdy dressed as Hook. Is it any wonder why people invite him to go flying with them? As he so proudly says "The norks are real, mate."

 

 

[turboplanner]

Turbo was grossly embarrassed by the photo published by Low as a Rat. He'd invited him into his home, and that bloody Rat must have snapped it with his camera. It's true that Turbo is a member of the Green Leaf Society, which never publicises its constant focus on chivalry, helping poor fallen ladies in distress, and supplying hot dogs at the annual Hanging Rock Race Meeting, but now the Dirty Rat had exposed our secret. What...........

 

 

[Bandit12]

....the Rat hadn't discovered was the name of the other secret society in which Turbo had recently been elected Grand Master. The name of the secret society- which shall not be spoken out loud for fear of recriminations - was......

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........%$#@#$% %^&^%$ ^&&^%$ &^%%$#@ - there it's out, but don't tell anyone.

 

Turbo responded in his usually refrained and abstract manner: "If B12 spills any more beans he's going to be B2." he said, brandishing a Kukra, which.......

 

 

[Captain]

Turbo was grossly embarrassed by the photo published by Low as a Rat. He'd invited him into his home, and that bloody Rat must have snapped it with his camera. It's true that Turbo is a member of the Green Leaf Society,...........

Regular readers of the NES will surely know that this is a lie by Turbo, as they also surely know that with a hot chick like that on the premises, Rathole would not have wasted time taking a photo, but instead, Ratty would have planted a couple of "Likes" on Turbo's neck and immediately tried to crack-on, then suggested that they check out the back seat of Turbo's Corvette.

 

 

 

"Bugger pictures when there is a good sort to be ravaged" Ratpoo would have said.

 

 

 

"Besides that, everyone knows that Turbo is a "Tea Leaf" not a "Green Leaf"" added Bandy.

 

........... %$#@#$% %^&^%$ ^&&^%$ &^%%$#@ - there it's out, but don't tell anyone.

Turbo responded in his usually refrained and abstract manner: "If B12 spills any more beans he's going to be B2." he said, brandishing a Kukra, which.......

 

,...........

......... he/she/it used to force the 12 Incher to perform acts upon him/her/it, of which (and as is usual with him) Randy Bandy is not proud in retrospect but which felt pretty good at the time, and which ...................

 

 

 

 

My Aunt reckons that "%$#@#$% %^&^%$ ^&&^%$ &^%%$#@" as mentioned above by Turdy, just looks like a very detailed description of Madge, ..... and he is a big one too.