BigPete Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Sooooooo........I'mStraightRapperGeoff comes out of the closet and does a Snoop Dog on the ultra conservative NES story. :thumb_up:thumb_down (Yo WhippingBoyPete) i_dunno Using his unstable financial future as the perfect cover PlainRapperGeoff, (Not to be confused with PlaneWrapperJeff (from the Oz Stork factory, overseas delivery boy), almost fails to capitalize on an obvious opportunity ;) to market his JabiruJetJuice as the untimate paint stripper. :black_eye: "Look at my freshly stripped Jabinew", ;) he would say, :big_grin: "last week it was a Ken Done/Pro Hart abhorration, and after one wipe of JabiruJetJuiceMousse (now with a foaming agent at no extra cost) it has been restored to its virgin, butt naked original state". "It is also a fantastic barbecue hotplate cleaner (Slati just loves it :heart:) and guaranteed to make your spark plugs go that extra 100 hours". RapDaddyGeoff added. It wasn't long before the Captain :heart: was on the 'phone to Berlin. "Ve haf ze serious problem here in Oztralia" he said to Bosch(e) HQ. "If PlainJaneVanillaPlainRapperGeoff gets his latest creation really going, then you and champion can say goodbye to 25% profit margin. :yuk::yuk: "I hear the Riverland gals :heart::heart::heart: are using it as nail varnish remover too" said OvernightInstantSuccessGeoff on early morning RiverRadio. "This will not do", said......... regards
ahlocks Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 …ThinSkinnedAndSomeWhatHormonalPete pours himself another gin and plots to get even with somebody. Soon. "John MacEnroe :yuk: of aviation?!" :ah_oh: Pondered bollochz, who's never done a cameo in an Adam Sandler movie, "What ever could crypticallycuttingPete mean?” :confused: Perhaps funning the undergarments of stoppickingonmePete is wearing a bit thin (like the back of a th... umm, disregard..) or the gist of the trim button gag was misunderstood..:raise_eyebrow: :black_eye: "Kate" now that was funny la Krappa ============= The demeanour of Pete is some what unclear
Captain Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 "aw me, here we go again", said WhippingBoyPete (to himself) as he read the Captains :heart: last post. "Geez when things get slow lets all have a go at "DoesHeExistPete, :confused: IsHeGayPete ;) (not that there's anything wrong with that) and IsHeDoingTheRiverlandGirlsPete :broken_heart:. Meanwhile SlartiBustItTwinHotplate flys around unblemished, Paley is still on holidays, :thumb_up: IanI'llSellAnything is squeaky clean (and low in profile) PlainDrivel is somewhat silent and the famous Le Crappe :broken_heart: serves it up to everybody and anybody, but MainlyPoorOldKickHimInTheNutsWhenHe'sAroundPete. :black_eye: WELL ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - ALREADY. I am not an animal :ah_oh: - I have feelings, if you cut me, do I not bleed. :big_grin: I is, therefore I am.(Sheesh) and :yuk:. ThinSkinnedAndSomeWhatHormonalPete pours himself another gin and plots to get even :hittinghead: with somebody. Soon. So cogniscent of Pete's sensitivities the NES reverted to sweetness and light as BigHandsomePete rang the Skipper and said "G'day Geoff II, how are they hang'n" "Not bad, Pete, mate" was the reply "I hope everything is going well for your impending fly-in. If you need any help or an injection of cash, just let me know" "And next time you speak to Geoff (i), your very best friend from Mildura, tell him that I'll take a couple of cases of his excellent drop" said the Crap. "And you tell ahlock that I'd love to have a fly with him in his excellent SportStar. I have always wanted one of those terrific machines, if only I could afford to elevate myself to that sort of quality" said FriendlyMagnanimousPete. "Me too Pete, they are indeed a fine machine, and it will be fantastic to also catch up with Slarti at Echuca, we will all have such a jolly time" replied Geoff (ii) "We can all chip in while we are there to rebuild a couple of outboards for our great compatriot Tubb". "This type of cooperative crap is boring me sh*tless" said le Crapper "What about you?" "Me too" said Pete " At least we gave it a try and Ian can't now ban us for a while, so lets go back to sticking it right up somebody. Who do you reckon?" "Lets give a reaming to ........................
turboplanner Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 "Lets give a reaming to ........................ ....Turboperver." But Turbo got in first. He was sickend by this incestuous Riverinaistomy, although he too had to admit that he liked the wonderful Sports Star, and he would probably choose a different toilet stop to Wagga on his next trip north. However, as short as Le Crappe's excursion into kindness was, even though it rivalled the Teleprompt reading of Barack Obama, he sensed that Crap had let the cat out of the cradle. Turbo hit the net and looked back into history. What did he find but SkinnyPete with a mo, huge sideburns and hair handing down to his bum, Crappo with equally long hair and wearing an outrageous pair of flares, and Locksie wearing a caftan. They were sitting beside a cow dung infested creek (which some called the Murrumbidgee) watching the various generations of riverland Lasses mud wrestling topless. (Younger readers may not realise that women were more free in those days) A cosy situation.....a bunch of bl:censored::censored:dy hippies! So the insults were all for show - they've been outed! Turbo thought "It's no wonder they'd pick on someone who lives in civilization" Then the penny dropped; he realised that the Echidna fly in was just going to be used by the old timers as an excuse for a Love In at HippyPete's joint....
ahlocks Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Weathers a bit hot lately...and there's been some wind.. ================= This message has been produced using politically correct guidelines
BigPete Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 ....YES..:thumb_up:...Those Were The Days, BackToTheFuturePete thoughts flew back to the 70's - where, he was a young innocent man, attending the Institute of Technology and looking in vain for a proffessor on campus (sorry, they're all in town marching down the main street in protest ). Free beer, :thumb_up: free love :heart: and free parking. :big_grin: It doesn't get much better than this FlowerPowerPete said to himself as helped make protest signs in the staff lunch room. ;) It's a wonder in this age that a young man i_dunno so full of peace and love :heart: would soon join the Australian Army and become a highly trained killer (we used to put "Trained Killer" on our tax returns where it said state occupation - we were so funny in thoses days ) After 21 years and never firing a shot (other than at the rifle range) :yuk: HereForTheDurationPete finally worked out how to fill in the discharge papers and returned to "civy street" :thumb_up::big_grin: (and it only took him 6 years to settle down ;) (ex service members will know what I mean)) regards :big_grin::big_grin:
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Turbo made a mental note to be VERY careful when creeping around Echooga at night. You just never know when a trained killer may jump out. He wondered whether the tax department guys ever gave him a refund for tools. ShouldabeendecoratedPete was quite pleased with the way he got this message out to would be campers at the fly in...guarantee there will be no one abusing the host there. Le Crappe had been strangely quiet...
ahlocks Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Aww bugger it!! :devil: “Rat-a-tat-tat-tat” rang out across there clear skies of chewka. formerbaggygreenSkinandblackfeetPete immediately ducked for cover under the nearby water tank stand. “That sounded like the report of an SLR with a modified sear!” he exclaimed. :ah_oh: (as he adjusted his undergarment for comfort.) But no, it was just ahlovak that had overdone a turn overhead :confused: and the sound was the rivets popping from the stresses and leaving the czech sex on wings machine at 2700 feet per second. (if I could still remember what the effective ranges were, I’d add that as well). Rat-a-tat-tat:exclamation: “Oh bugga!” he swore as he had over stressed the wing again while trying to replace the loose fitting headsets :yin_yan: that had been upset by the high G’s of the previous manoeuvre (and while trying to remember what the effective rate of fire of the SLR was). But the drama of the moment was soon deferred by the psychedelically ‘mellow’ Krapatain :star: who… ========== political correctness thumb_down should be buried in the aunts garden
Guest palexxxx Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Aww bugger it!! :devil:But the drama of the moment was soon deferred by the psychedelically ‘mellow’ Krapatain :star: who… appeared at the Chooka Airfield carrying a tray, "Camomile tea anyone? I've got some cool herbal biscuits too, man" he said with a wink. "They'll make you think that you're twice as high as what your altimeter is showing." InnocentPete tentatively reached out and took one of the biscuits. "Do they have any chocolate chips in them Krappy?" he asked
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 But the drama of the moment was soon deferred by the psychedelically ‘mellow’ Krapatain :star: who… ...in his MrNasty days had previously planted penny bungers all over Pete's garden in the hope of drawing ASIC Card Inspectors during the fly in, and, terrified at finding out who Pete really was had slipped across to Chewk in the lexicus trewper (because it took too long to start the Jab with the bed warmer, hot water bottles, blow torch and magnaflame in the morning) and had been skulking around the garden picking up crackers and putting them in his pockets, and placing pink pansies in their spots, a sort of Pink Pansie Panther, when he was hit by a round of Diehard7DiggerPete's M15 in the left buttock. (there are many words of four letters)!!!!! he shrieked, losing all mellowness. BANG!!! went the crackers in his pockets, and psychadelic was the word as hundreds of pink pansies accompanied by Krapitain's nearests and dearests shot up into the air......
Captain Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 It's a wonder in this age that a young man i_dunno so full of peace and love :heart: would soon join the Australian Army and become a highly trained killer (we used to put "Trained Killer" on our tax returns where it said state occupation - we were so funny in thoses days ) After 21 years and never firing a shot (other than at the rifle range) :yuk: HereForTheDurationPete finally worked out how to fill in the discharge papers and returned to "civy street" :thumb_up::big_grin: (and it only took him 6 years to settle down ;) (ex service members will know what I mean)) Who would'a thunk it that takestimetoreadjustPete is also MildManneredTrainedKillerPete who, when invited into the tunnel rats in 1969, found that he could stand up in the tunnels in Phuck Mee province, without bumping his head. "Hey ... this no good" said Ho "Make sure all our tunnells turn right in future just after the entrance and JaberPete will do face plant into the left wall ... it be velly funnee" "Those blokes must all be looking at a SquintStar" said observantPete. "I remember when RecruitPete went thru Kapooka" said Captain Captain. "He wasn't the best killer that we have trained, but boy was he fertile. He was known as JaberPete even way back then. There are numerous offspring around Wagga, in fact I believe there are a few women in the Riverland who are 1st cousins of his and they have the same appetite for the horizontal hula. One is called Nanna, I think." So populatorPete's fame spread and he was in demand to ................ PS .... I think you may have the wrong decade ahlock. BoltactionPete came (a lot) well before the SLR's were approved. The modified sear of the SLR is in my backpack
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 ...speak at more functions than what's his name from Canberra. The Outburst, as it became known was so good it was framed and placed in the National Gallery, but later moved to the High Court as an inspiration in clear thinking. Bets were taken that repeatMcPete couldn't do another one that good...
Captain Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 "Camomile tea anyone? "That Camomile will make you run a mile in your Cammo's" said cunningPete. "Those buggers at the Camp sneak a couple of pounds of laxative in that evening beverage to train us for what it is like eating that 1943 ration bully beef" OOOOOps .... stand clear boys .... and I'll show you how they trained me to kill stuff.............................
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 ... The air turned brown, and the streets of Echuca became deserted soon after. ExplosivePete was left there standing in his...
BigPete Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 jeez - talk about a trip down memory lane :thumb_up: -- remember Guy Fawkes night when no letterbox or anthill was safe. :yuk: Daring was the youngster who would light a penny bunger, :black_eye: watch the wick burn down and disappear before throwing it (the bunger) deep into the water. If your timing was good, it was "Dam Busters" or "depth charges" you ripper, and if it wasn't you had a sore hand for a week. :black_eye: Back in those day kids were real kids (nee tough:devil: ) - we played outside and used our imagination. (sadly - a lost art these days. (yes, I know what time Matlock is on). :big_grin: Armed with 3 months pocket money :thumb_up: (real money that was earned, and not just handed out) you fronted up to the counter at Coles and bought your arsenal for the big night. Sky Rockets and Roman Candles were for the woosies :yuk: (and girls), the real boys only bought things that go "BANG" and the louder the better. :devil::devil: Our favourite trick was to make a morter ;) (short pipe shoved into the ground at an angle) shove in a bunger,and launch a tin can (with another lighted bunger wedged inside ) at the enemy (other brother) :yuk:. Good, clean, wholesome fun!!:heart: (sigh) regards :big_grin::big_grin:
Captain Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 ... The air turned brown, and the streets of Echuca became deserted soon after. ExplosivePete was left there standing in his... ...slightly damaged thong. "who would have thought that such a small but functional piece of material could divide that up so evenly on each side of the street. I'll now have to ..............
ahlocks Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 "Hey ... this no good" said Ho "Make sure all our tunnells turn right in future just after the entrance and JaberPete will do face plant into the left wall ... it be velly funnee" " I interrupt this escapade to nominate the above quote as the most humorous thing read in recent memory and an effective remedy for urinary blockage. (still mopping and giggling) ============= Normal sillyness will now resume
BigPete Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 ...clean up the street as well as the NES story. :yuk: the only thong I have is on my left foot regards :big_grin::big_grin:
BigPete Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Who would'a thunk it that takestimetoreadjustPete is also MildManneredTrainedKillerPete who, when invited into the tunnel rats in 1969, found that he could stand up in the tunnels in Phuck Mee province, without bumping his head. Sorry Bollocks - I think this is funnier: and daring - Ian will be watching. And I applaud you Captain :heart: regards
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Another interruption - Turbo noticed this quote from Pete in the tiniest of writing "the only thong I have is on my left foot" Maybe that's why some Jab drivers have so much trouble after landing - too much thong and not enough thinging!
ahlocks Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Sorry Bollocks - I think this is funnier: and daring - Ian will be watching. And I applaud you Captain :heart: regards Yes, yes. Quite remiss of me to have singled only one good quote of many... One really has to bow to the master of quip...la Crapee ================= Thongs are what the Theekers thang
Captain Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Yes, yes. Quite remiss of me to have singled only one good quote of many... One really has to bow to the master of quip...la Crapee Thanks Fellas. Now you have just made me a bigger target for Ian's ire ............ because he might wear a thong too. And everyone knows Slartibuttcrack's preferences. They are off the durrys and plonk respectively, and will be looking at a soft target to target. If I get banned it will be me and Booggers up there in the wild blue yonder, trying to find Echuca. Oh well, if only they would ...............
slartibartfast Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Your time may be at hand Crapitaine. There's a certain Vietnamese province recently named which went way too far (the name not the province). Luckily I didn't see it. Between that and painting the town brown, the NES is certainly going down (not that there's anything wrong with that). How about some nice dancing music? At least you guys stopped hounding me about a certain vertical landing. I dunno. You work your guts out for the site and nothing. But molest one goat, and they never let you forget it.
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