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Posted

"........Turbo, who was having quite a lot of trouble with premature oil changes, and had been wondering if his through-bolt might also fail".

 

"I used a mixture of hydrochloric acid, sand and nitroglycerine on mind and haven't had any problems with it" said Harriet

 

The next day Turbo came and and said "I used that mix and now I don't have a through bolt at all!"

 

"I don't either" said Harriet

 

"Well when did you start using the mixture?" asked Turbo

 

"Yesterday morning" replied Harriet

 

Madge had been quietly listening, as he does for a minute or ........

 

 

Posted

...two on occasions.

 

"Up in F'nQ, we bath in the stuff and never have any issue" he chided. "And what's more, when my through bolt starts to look a bit thin I ....."

 

 

Posted

"paint them with sump oil, usually after I've finished welding up the exhaust, which at the moment looks like a piece of $100,000.00 art sculpture, and is about as useless but.............."

 

 

Posted

".....I guess I can always use it to sail to New Zealand to claim asylum, fearing for my life after the NES'ers said they were going to........

 

 

Posted

...expose my sordid past, and leak it out that the first thing I did as a board member was go to XXXXX [Name deleted - Mod] and ask for a pair of epaulettes, and the second was to buy the book "How to keep secrets from members" by YYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYY [Name deleted - Mod], and if that so and so had done what I told him and kept it a secret I wouldn't be......................"

 

 

Posted

..... exposed for all RAA members to see, and instead I would just be lovable old Madge from f'n Q, f'n a ......

 

 

Posted

...f'n Q, f'n A, f'n N, f'n T, f'n A, f'n S!"

 

"You aren't from the Flying Roo" retorted the Flying Rat. "The last I heard, you were flogging used rotax engines to fund your......

 

 

Posted

..... addiction to poor diction, as that is the first time you have ever spelt it without a "u", and you .......

 

 

Posted

.......... wee kee-wee.

 

"Why are you pucking on us ..... and my wee-wee is not to wee" asked & asserted Russell the New Zulander, "As I aaam alrudy a member of RA-Oz, because if you believe in the theory of continental druft, we'll soon in moored off Coughs Habour and I'll be able to sit in my Batch while wearing my Jandals & my Lemon Squeezer (see pucture below) to watch Pandy crap in his beanie, while I ...............

 

 

 

Lemon Squeezer haaat worn daily by all New Zulanders, even the hākuis.

 

 

Posted

.......... import fire blight, rob a few banks, eh Bro, form a gang, save 20% by using our coins in their vending machines, then go looking for an Ozzie virgin or two, .......... but we won't worry about that search up in the Queen's land, eh Cuzz, or down in TasArctica either eh, becuzz .......

 

 

Posted

....we knowz that Ozzie ain't no virgin anyways, so it's kinda like looking for a sheep in a.......

 

 

Posted
....we knowz that Ozzie ain't no virgin anyways, so it's kinda like looking for a sheep in a.......

........ Christchurch Beauty Parlour, or in a Melbourne .........

 

 

Posted

........ but that is fine for Turbo to say, when Rathole knows thut the Plaaner's head is the exact shape of the Lemon Squeezer, and these hats were all steam moulded onto the Turbo melon when he spent some time living in TikiWikiMooCow in the 1920's working as a Hat Mandrel, before he .............

 

 

Posted

.......moved to Ykickamongrel where he was trained in sheep calling using a tun whustle, and givin a Sutificate and green flennel jucket with......

 

 

Posted

...... camouflage markings so thut he can better sneak up on the sheep. This was needed as Turbs is particularly repulsive to all bovine, equine, even toed ungulates and the Artiodactyla genus's.

 

"Not only thum" volunteered Wendy from the TikiWokiMickiAnga Women's Institute, who said that Turbs was often caught ............

 

 

Posted

..... wrapped around his wickiwockiwoowoo, the end of which is the same shape as the top of his head and can therefore be used to make small versions of the lemon squeezer hats, although he winces a bit when the steam is added to shape them into ....................

 

 

Posted

......icy poles.

 

Turbo respectfully advises the Rat that HIS wickiwockiwoowoo might be put through a wringer (now there's a term we don't see much of today), if he does not relate the story to:

 

(a) How good Julia Gillard was

 

(b) How bad Tony Abbott is

 

© How George Bush is out there causing major destruction by storms, earthquakes and Tsunamis (produced by CIA secret weapons) when he is not out there murdering children or keeping wages low.

 

Also, aviation references have fallen off to the point where any time there could be a post from Planey.

 

So to return the thread to decorum we take up the story on the South Island of New Zealand near the town of Ykickamudspat. (avref)

 

Surrill was slowly strolling near the cillery in the vigitable garden with the love of his life, Selly.

 

"I hope you're not to chully" he said and Sally resonded "Baaaaa..................................."

 

 

Posted

...humbug, you know I like it a little spicy. But ever since all those Aussies came over in that rickety old Jabeeeroo, all I can get is bland....

 

 

Posted

.....looks from the gold toothed pilot, his sidekick Skinnylegs, and little Madge."

 

"That's three people in a Jab" said bull who was one of the three Queenslanders who can count.

 

"We counted Madge as luggage" said Ratso, "and he's been a @#&* about it all the way over"

 

"But how did you manage such a long trip with it?" asked bull

 

"Brought it over on a ship" said Ratso "Madge is just in there touching...er chatting up the Budget chick to see if we can get a trailer to tow it around New Zealand"

 

"Why would you want to tow it around such small islands?" asked bull, who was widely read.

 

"Have you ever flown on one?" asked Ratso

 

An understanding smile came over bull's face..............

 

 

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