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Posted

....Bandit had obviously been on the metho, after giving everyone at least one creative to show his disdain for.....

 

 

Posted
....Bandit had obviously been on the metho, after giving everyone at least one creative to show his disdain for.....

........... Turdy.

 

"Talk about knobjocks" said Footlong, who also uses metho to ...........

 

 

Posted

....clean his pet rat. Which isn't anywhere near as weird as what Turby does with metho, which is.......

 

 

Guest Andys@coffs
Posted

shrink back an inch or two....which seems to happen about the same regularity as the rest of us need to see a barber.............Footlong explained that Metho had an affinity for H2O and despite a god shake or 2, there was always some that could use some metho.......

 

But with that all said I think we are focusing on the the wrong part of "Metho...to his Madness" We need to talk about the madness bit.........

 

"What do you have CAPTIAN that backs your claim that Turdy is a picnic short of a sandwich?" asked Eeen who it was noted had just recently escaped F'sQ and was keen to go back to Vic where is was merely F'n Hot and not Humid....

 

"You can always use Metho...to deal with the humidity" piped up Turdy....in an attempt to take the focus off those looking into his insanity......

 

 

Posted

"For example" explained Turdy "if you are like me and get a bad dose of chafing between the legs in the humid months, a little metho dabbed on, rubbed gently with a rat, and allowed to airdry can really help."

 

This was of grave concern to the Rat himself, who even more was convinced of Turdy's madness. He pondered to himself whether a referral to a doctor may help Turbo, before deciding to.....

 

 

Guest Andys@coffs
Posted

give himself a bath before doing another thing.......

 

"At the moment if I drive somewhere I could well blow 5.0 instead of under 0.05.......That metho might well sort out fungal things, but I have to say it was within a moment or two of sorting out this rat as well....If Turdy had not simply dabbed, and had taken to a more vigorous rubbing well............" suggested Rat!

 

 

Posted

But our beloved Rat was safe; Turbo knew the exact dose of metho for any application from starting reluctant XXXX on a cold morning to restoring hairlines.

 

The new Disney movie 'Saving Mr Banks' which is about the creation of the Movie Mary Poppins, who was a housekeeper to a bank manager way out west of Maryborough in Q, where the dingo population has more teeth than the human population, was to include a segment on the origin of the song "Just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down" said Turbo, but we were no able to reach a satisfactory financial agreement to publicly release details of my recipe [rumoured to be worth eight figures - Ed].

 

"I had weakened" said Turbo, "when Walt agreed to alter my slogan 'Just a spoon full of metho makes the medicine go down' and offered me a week in the Beverley Hills Hotel with any of his girlfriends, and........"

 

 

Posted

....agreed to his terms. Sadly, on the day I was to depart for the Hotel and Walt's third favourite girl (the first two were already booked by the Rat), I had overindulged on my own medicine the night before, and woke to find....

 

 

Posted
"What do you have CAPTIAN that backs your claim that Turdy is a picnic short of a sandwich?" asked Eeen ......

"All 8,205 posts, 2,274 likes and a list of Stat Decs, witnesses and sundry evidence providers, your honour, Eeeen, mate" replied SC Ratus Ratus. "Plus he lives by the mantra on this Forum of that other Mary Popitin song "Let's go fly a kite" which signifies the content of most of his posts, not to mention his theme song SadlyCalcifyingVetteSpreeI'veEvenGotaDoseOf ...................

 

 

Posted

........but he was drowned out by the clapping as the audience joined in.

 

Turbo had learnt a lot from the forum communists, and answered Ratus etc with "what were the posters' names?" and "OMG that must have come from that AWFUL Murdock (sic) Press", and ..........

 

 

Posted
........but he was drowned out by the clapping as the audience joined in.Turbo had learnt a lot from the forum communists, and answered Ratus etc with "what were the posters' names?" and "OMG that must have come from that AWFUL Murdock (sic) Press", and ..........

...... he restated his position.

 

 

 

"OMG" he said "What a BOC's those press boys and girls are. Will they ever get it right? The AH's should have their B'sCO and stuffed into their .............

 

 

Posted

......... they should really do an "In Depth" with Andy, while sitting by his lap-pool & fanned by a nubile Nubian (good old Alfred Gockel really knew what he was talking about when he painted that), on the deck of Andy's secluded walled mansion on a cliff in the rainforest overlooking Coughs, where he will surely tell them all about that night, not so long ago, when .........

 

 

 

Alf's Nubile Nubian, who actually lives at Andy's joint & fans him on hot days. On other days she is a fan of the NES.

 

 

Posted

.......following another leak down, he had no alternative but to land in a banana plantation. The prop...................

 

 

Posted

........... had peeled a bunch, Andy had crushed nuts from the landing and there was cream and icecream in the back of the 230 (which has luxurious luggage space), so Andy thought "I always look on the bright side, so let's make some nana splits and then Nanna can use the left over nanas to .............

 

 

Posted

Cash.

 

Turbo also is prepared to extend his offer to take cash free of charge from those many members wishing to enter the cashless society, and.......

 

 

Posted
....... the Cash-less society, and.......

........ that is a particularly cruel way for the Cash family to learn about Johnny's passing, but continues the TubbyPlonker's disdain for .............

 

 

Posted

....black denim.

 

In fact Turbo toured South Carolina and Georgia calling for a ban on black denim, to be replaced by bright pink, and received standing ovations with shots fired at the rear of the meetings.

 

Building on the success of that tour he now has plans to tour again this year and explain that the pink stands for gay equality, and expects......................

 

 

Posted

....that there will be a resurgence in pink jackacricket sales. Especially once the gentlemen from the deep south realise that they would be permitted to carry their.......

 

 

Posted

..... pink Glocks (special production for Turdy) in their sequined handbags, because Turdy in the deep south and in bright pink is the spit of Julian Clary (see 2 little picys below) when he was in his prime (that's Julian in his prime, not Turdy, as I don't think that Tink has ever really been in what could fairly described as his "prime", or anyone elses "prime", except for .............

 

 

 

All made up and somewhere to go: Turbo, the Moorabbin Stud & Possum fancier.

 

 

 

Posted

Elvis, and that is another story for the NES when Een meets the royalty requirements.............

 

 

Posted
Elvis, and that is another story for the NES when Een meets the royalty requirements.............

....... but here is a little tit-bit of what might come out if Eeeeen pays up.

 

 

 

Below is Tink in his "heavy years", taken in a park in Parkes last Aussie Day, and those tit-bits are more than little bits of tit too, however I am sure that you will agree that thru the use of 2 kgs of makeup and 18 horses tails, Turdy has transformed himself from Julian, as shown in post #8673, to have a remarkable resemblance to ....................

 

 

 

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