The Never Ending Story

[Guest Andys@coffs]

As a result got to test out ohms law fist hand and second leg which was able to take him up to serving temp in just a few stations..... His claim to fame other than the Darwin aspect was that the melbournistann " so you think you can dance " team saw him spasming and felt sure he was......

 

 

[turboplanner]

........hamming it up because his smile was too broad, and he wasn't facing the audience, but...............

 

Turbo, standing in for Dazzle, who after providing some advice to go forth and breed, has been pursuing new opportunities, respectfully and in the most friendly manner, points out to The Candidate, "fist" should read "first" in the first line, and just in case, like a certain Australian backyard builder advises him that quoting +GST prices is illegal.

 

 

[Captain]

........hamming it up because his smile was too broad, and he wasn't facing the audience, but............

..... his fist hand moved like Ginger Rogers and Fred A Stare when they were ...........

 

 

[Bob Llewellyn]

..... his fist hand moved like Ginger Rogers and Fred A Stare when they were ...........

negotiating a pay rise (and negotiation styles were crude on those days), but...

 

 

[turboplanner]

......in the end it all went flat, and a new generation......Turbo lost his thought train as he recalled a post in the Heathen section a short while ago where someone said someone was putting a turbo on a 912. Frequently Turbo is asked to sign autographs as every famous person must, and it's lucrative too - he charges $10.00 including (Dazzle) GST. Over the years almost every car manufacturer has paid handsomely for his signatures in many different styles, cast them and attached them to their more sporty models. In this way they've been able to add $2,000.00 to the price of each car - $1,000.00 for the car manufacturer, and $1,000.00 for Turbo, who gives it away to charitable causes (mostly General Motors Chevrolet division).

 

So could anyone tell him who or what is a 912?........they haven't paid and..............

 

 

[Captain]

...... So could anyone tell him who or what is a 912?..............

..... and it came to pass that a 912 is a model of Porsche which never came to production back in 1950. It involved a V8, rear wheel drive and a transverse leaf spring rear suspension.

 

 

 

"If ziss design ist not going to cut zee sauerkraut here in zee mutterland' said Ferdi "Perhaps we should call it a Korvette or a Mineschweeper und kontakt General von Motorenschafftengeschifft to zee if we can flick it to them for a .................

 

 

[turboplanner]

..........billion or so buckshen - they mtene needed the deutschmarks these daysen.

 

Turbo was becoming seriously concerned about the way Australia was being overrun by the Europeans. "I could understand how the Germans might want to gut us back" he said "but the French, Italians, and even Russians are pouring trash into the Country. The Colorado has a Fiat engine, the Nissan is built in Spain and has a V6 Renault engine - it's hard to know your enemy these days"

 

"And we have fifth columnists and quislings amongst us"

 

"Who" said Col Joye, ever the philosopher.

 

"Ahlot for a start with his Loxenvargen" replied Turbo, Hatter with his Shitzenputen, Fourass with his Charabancen, .............................."

 

 

[Captain]

.........."Ahlot for a start with his Loxenvargen" replied Turbo, Hatter with his Shitzenputen, Fourass with his Charabancen, .............................."

 

...... however Loxley had hidden from his best mate Turbo that he had flicked the Loxenvargen and shaved off his Hitler moustache, to be replaced with Loxley going all Asian on us, wearing a sword, buying some missiles, driving a Hy-und-ai and all as depicted in Ahlow's new Moderatti Magnificentti avatar which is shown below.

 

 

 

Turbo was staggered and amazed at this change in Ahlox, plus how much weight he had lost, causing Turbo and Brine to both observe ..............

 

 

[Captain]

Ahlot and Turbo in the Natfly lunch tent discussing moderation, punctuation, spelling and grammar issues associated with several of Turdboy's recent posts ..............

 

 

 

[Bandit12]

Ahlot and Turbo in the Natfly lunch tent discussing moderation, punctuation, spelling and grammar issues associated with several of Turdboy's recent posts ..............

....all of which would go down better with a glass of red.

 

"I know what will help" exclaimed Turbo, pointing to his arms "Loxy, if you get some tribal marks like these, they will remind you that there is a time to moderate, and a time to drink moderately, and never the two shall......

 

 

[turboplanner]

....but he didn't get any further. Before moving the never ending story forward we have to warn that some readers that they may be shocked by what they are about to read, so the 90% in this category should try starting a thread perhaps called RAA Hot Seat, or CASA's Voice, or Madge's I've got the X Factor.

 

For the rest, sadly we have to advise you that our beloved Moderator Ahlots has become the Lush of Guml Gumly, and although Turbo and Ratso have tried to talk him into moderation, there's no hope, and no he's threatening to get a TATTOO, and................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

a second Prince Albert piercing....but next to the first in his upper lip because they still didn't have one small enough to.....

 

 

[Captain]

a second Prince Albert piercing....but next to the first in his upper lip because they still didn't have one small enough to.....

........... place where Victoria (if that indeed was his real name) demanded it be located for best results.

 

 

 

"Ooops" thought Bobby Ll (name disguised to protect him in this Preliminary Report (ATSBRef)), who often hires a Queen Victoria outfit to wear at the Blue Oyster Tranny night "I'd better stay schtumm or someone is going to tumble about my penchant for doilies, black dresses and bustles."

 

 

THE DRESS THAT BOBB HIRES.

 

 

 

And with regard to the photo of Turbo in post # 9259, El Ratso can attest that Turbo was flying back to Moorabbin as soon as he finished the meeting with Ahlow and therefore restricted his drinking to a couple of Maotais, 2 double scotches and a bottle of a cheeky Pinot Grigio from Chatteau Bamedman, the remains of which can be seen in one of the glasses.

 

 

 

"What's the problem with that" slurred Turbs after Ratty reminded him that the rule is "12 hours bottle to throttle", not 12 minutes, but as Turbo pointed out "If I can get the bloody thing off the ground there won't be no booze busses at 7000 ft."

 

 

 

Ratty remained concerned all afternoon about his great friend and lolly thief who did fluke a half competent take-off from what he broadcast as "Runway 30 Grass Right" (a new runway that he made during take-off), so after Ratty had 12 hours sleep he hacked into TurdBoys GPS which showed that Tubb had tracked Temora to Moorabbin via Coota, Griffith (where he took on more supplies), Moruya, Hotham, Tocumwal and Warrnambool. (Shiploads of AvRefs).

 

 

 

When asked for more info Turbs proudly said "What's wrong with taking the scenic route (which also required regular 6 minute paddock based piddle-stops)? But I made it in the ...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....afternoon" he said.

 

"The Moron is a wonderful aircraft, and very self forgiving, but doesn't have a compass, so I bought one at Woolworths, and the AH tells you when up is but doesn't confuse you with angles. After being told by one of the local pubs that I was in Warrnambool, I thought I'd better buy a map; what I thought was the GPS was an electronic fitness gadget which counts the number of steps you take and converts it to calories.

 

"After leaving Tocumwal I'd tried pretend stepping while I was flying hoping it would come good.

 

"From Warrnambool I flew over the Alpine region and was tempted to land at Mount Martha which now has an all year bitumen runway. but since the fuel gauge had been showing empty for the last half hour I thought I'd better get home.

 

"It was a great flight, but unfortunately I fell out of the Moron when I arrived back, and a CASA FoI..........................

 

 

[Captain]

...."From Warrnambool I flew over the Alpine region and was tempted to land at Mount Martha which now has an all year bitumen runway. but since the fuel gauge had been showing empty for the last half hour I thought I'd better get home."It was a great flight, but unfortunately I fell out of the Moron when I arrived back, and a CASA FoI..........................

........ asked me whether I wanted to sign the petition being circulated by Kilometres-&-Kilometres.

 

 

 

"I am not pucking fissed enough for that" said Turbs.

 

 

 

"Don't worry about it Tink. What's a minor indiscretion like paralytic-ism all about anyway? We know and accept that everyone likes a little drinkies" said the CASA FOI "By the way, you look like you would make a suitable President of the new RAA that Kilometres & Windward are trying to found."

 

 

 

"Let's drink to that" said Turbo pulling another bottle of cheap plonk from the luggage compartment of the Moron. So he sat with his new best friend the CASA FoI and they told hilarious Flying School, Torture and CFI jokes and LOL'd all evening. "These CASA chaps are hilarious guys" added Turbo "Their office parties must be a real turn-on."

 

 

 

It was shortly after midnight when Ben Tley drove up ready to chauffeur Turdboy back home, because at the stroke of the witching hour the CASA FOI turned into a .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

........member of the FOI mutual association board and wouldn't say another thing.

 

The following morning, after being kicked out of his house the night before an sleeping on the verandah with the dogs, Turbo stretched, and shook the ice off, then realised he hadn't lived in Manangatang for 30 years, and uncertainly hobbled hi way to the airfield where the Moron sat one wing down. During the preflight he noticed a few rattles, but that was normal, and he did the usual flight plan which consisted of a leak behind the hangar, a look at the sky and turning on the GPS and fired up the trusty Jab.

 

He did take a section of the end fence before he realised he was taking off down wind, but thought "everybody else does it", and it might even improve his radio performance.

 

What he hadn't noticed was the FOI talking to Madge who had been telling him how much better the Association was now that they had some real men in control, and how they'd weeded all the ferals out of the business.

 

"Well what's that?" asked the FOI pointing to......................

 

 

[Captain]

........What he hadn't noticed was the FOI talking to Madge who had been telling him how much better the Association was now that they had some real men in control, and how they'd weeded all the ferals out of the business.

 

"Well what's that?" asked the FOI pointing to......................

.......... the flanno hanging on the Moron's coat stand and the wine rack in the luggage compartment filled with a mix of Ben Ean, sparking Porphery Pearl, and cheap scotch (SaltyRef) which was made in Sri Lanka in the town of Dundee which used to be called Sri Jayawardenapura Kotte or ஶ்ரீ ஜெயவர்த்தனபுரம் கோட்டை for those of you, like Madge, that are familiar with the Tamil lingo.

 

 

 

The FOI thought about this and said to St Madge "How about joining us here at the CASA as we almost have more ex RAA Officials than you have members, so you'll feel right at home, and all you have to do to work for the Government, to be part of the CASA family and come to our wild & debauchious office parties is to sign this form & give us 10 secrets with which we can screw RAA under the guise of applying sound oversight."

 

 

 

Madge considered the offer, thought seriously about the possible prestige (Madge would love to jump out of the CASA Mule & walk up to aircraft salesmen at the Avalon Airshow, ignore everyone else, puff out his chest and barge in between the owner and potential buyers just like the real CASA dicks do) and how much fun it would be to join Macka, Lee & Mick in order to apply faultless management skills in the administration of recreational aviation, then Madge reached into Tink's Moron and grabbed a bottle of Lanka's finest and said "You can take our freedoms, but you can nae offer me a ............

 

 

 

SOMETHING LIKE THE CASA MULE USED AT AVALON, WITHOUT THE SIGNS ON THE OUTSIDE AND WITHOUT THE EGOS ON THE INSIDE.

 

 

[Captain]

The NES's beloved Ratsack has just realised that Turbo has used the "Creative" like on the above post and Ratty is hurt to such an extent that he will take this up immediately with Eeeen and the Rodent's great coffee & cake mate, AhPox, as the innuendo associated with the "Creative" icon is even worse than that which applied to the "Unhelpful" icon (now banned & thankfully beyond Turbo's reach).

 

 

 

Given this attack by Turbo, Ratpoo asks whether NES'ers can now see why Ratso lacks self-confidence and is borderline dysfunctional at playing Doctors and Nurses or Cars and Garages?

 

 

 

And he further asks how you would feel if someone of Turbo's eminence branded you with such a cruel moniker?

 

 

Ratty is now going to the pub for a long lunch and to lick his wounds.

 

 

If only there was a "Hurtful" icon, Ratus would consider using it.

 

 

[Captain]

Sensitive Rat still feels a little hurt and remains a bit glum as if there were not mints on offer, Turbo probably wouldn't visit the RatHaus again.

 

 

 

Ratty's hand written note says it all .............................................

 

 

 

[Captain]

BREAKING NEWS

 

Following on from Ian Thorpe's recent coming out, it is understood that Ahlox will be calling a Press Conference on Wednesday.

 

All NES'ers should stay tuned.

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......Turbo is distraught that his good friend Ratso was given a "Creative" by mistake. NES readers will know he doesn't have a creative bone in his body, and the buttons on the software for the Iphone are hopelessly small. What he meant to say was "optimistic"

 

At this point Turbo wishes to announce that he is heterosexual, following a similar announcement in Queensland. "Us "heteros" have been disadvantaged by Society in recent years just because of the way we talk" he said still stinging from a cartoon in the morning's Herald Sun showing a triumphant Ian Thorpe in the pool after a race with an ugly caricature of Turbo coming in after him with "Homophobia" tattooed on his body.

 

"This is the Murdoch Press at it again" he said, and 84 forumites gave him an "agree" while 14 ticked "optimistic", and one ticked "helpful", but then......

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

someone posted "where's the 'What a DH' Icon? I cant let this post past without letting it rip".....

 

But that post must have been made by a realist who was only new to Wreckflying and little did he know that such a post in NES would lead to a dozen new threads ranging in content from whether we needed a "what a DH" Like, through to the long term impacts on a posters mental wellbeing and the posters Grandchildren's mental wellbeing if it became widely known that gramps was a certified DH....

 

Ahlow was forced to break off his scheduled media announcement, just like Face Palmer did recently in NZ, to try and deal with fallout of the anguished WreckFlyer membership...but without much success right up to the point when Eeeeen was forced to............

 

 

[Captain]

] ....... Ahlow was forced to break off his scheduled media announcement, just like Face Palmer did recently in NZ, to try and deal with fallout of the anguished WreckFlyer membership...but without much success right up to the point when Eeeeen was forced to............

..... give Ahlow a holiday when he added a DH logo to the list of "Likes" that was actually a photo of .....

 

 

[Bob Llewellyn]

someone posted "where's the 'What a DH' Icon? I cant let this post past without letting it rip".....

But that post must have been made by a realist who was only new to Wreckflying and little did he know that such a post in NES would lead to a dozen new threads ranging in content from whether we needed a "what a DH" Like, through to the long term impacts on a posters mental wellbeing and the posters Grandchildren's mental wellbeing if it became widely known that gramps was a certified DH....

 

Ahlow was forced to break off his scheduled media announcement, just like Face Palmer did recently in NZ, to try and deal with fallout of the anguished WreckFlyer membership...but without much success right up to the point when Eeeeen was forced to............

...yawn widely.

 

 

[Captain]

...yawn widely.

........... then smiled a rueful smile with a glint in his eye, all of which were against CASA RecAv Rule # 16.4.6.(iii), so Eeeen was handed a CASA bluey which further outlined the allegation that .......