The Never Ending Story

[Bryon]

...hunting roos whilst smiling and aviating is a big no-no

 

BUT...possum poaching was allowed near Bang-it-holme which gave a distinct advantage to the Turdbro

 

This freedom to pot possums from 300ft or less (Avref) caused the local CWA some consternation as they.....

 

 

[Captain]

...hunting roos whilst smiling and aviating is a big no-noBUT...possum poaching was allowed near Bang-it-holme which gave a distinct advantage to the Turdbro

 

This freedom to pot possums from 300ft or less (Avref) caused the local CWA some consternation as they.....

....... thought that Eeeeen was a tad overgunned for possums by the use of an AK47 (fitted with double extended mags) thru the gun-port of Madge's Heliview.

 

 

 

"That's hardly fair" commented Madge, the CWA spokes-lady during an interview with Koshy on Good-Morning whatever it is, who wasn't anywhere near as chirpy now that Port Adelaide have copped a flogging, so he turned on Madge (who was wearing a see-thru Crows jumper) and said "............

 

 

[Captain]

....... thought that Eeeeen was a tad overgunned for possums by the use of an AK47 (fitted with double extended mags) thru the gun-port of Madge's Heliview. 

 

"That's hardly fair" commented Madge, the CWA spokes-lady during an interview with Koshy on Good-Morning whatever it is, who wasn't anywhere near as chirpy now that Port Adelaide have copped a flogging, so he turned on Madge (who was wearing a see-thru Crows jumper) and said "............

....... "That must be like questioning incompetent committee members & treasurers at an EGM", and he looked quizzically at Andy (now flying from Sth Grafton, which is upwind from where he sh@atCoffs), who ...............

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Responded like those at the EGM, "Keh?... No speaka da English, and certainly no speaka da P&L" which worked for them but caused Andy to take an involuntary dump.........and started looking for something to burn (RAAFref...or was that riffraff)

 

 

[Captain]

Responded like those at the EGM, "Keh?... No speaka da English, and certainly no speaka da P&L" which worked for them but caused Andy to take an involuntary dump.........and started looking for something to burn (RAAFref...or was that riffraff)

..... "You can burn the candle at both ends like me and Turbs do" commented Brine, knowing that Andy is a party-animal "Or alternatively you could light your own .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"........exhaust (averefForPlainDrivel), but I suppose it would need to be........................."

 

Turbo has been very busy; rather than add to the absolute dribble juice of the thread "RAA is stufed agen" where 10,000 members have been castigated as semi literate 19th century living troglodytes, Turbo has spent much of the last week getting rid of Ratso's lolly wrappers, putting Brine's empty whisky bottles on the freeway fence posts to see how many he can break with the 22 without hitting cars, and most importantly writing a computer programme to allow board members to do their work in a tenth of the time, and he has thoughtfully provided a copy of the CODE for the IT literate to check and comment on, as follows:

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see it is very simple with no bugs, and also complies with the board secrecy code.

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Andy was incensed! Who in their write mind or even their spoken mind would describe Tubsy as semi literate! When it comes to electioneering we cant afford to be sitting on the fence in no-mans land (ww1ref) so Tubs, if you need help composing some thought into something to be written here let me know and I'll be first to help.....as soon as I get a plan, and a costed resource allocation model and don't forget the extra time needed to allow me to cover the technology changes since you were a young troglodyteen with your very first set of clay tablets.........

 

 

[Captain]

Andy was incensed! Who in their write mind or even their spoken mind would describe Tubsy as semi literate! When it comes to electioneering we cant afford to be sitting on the fence in no-mans land (ww1ref) so Tubs, if you need help composing some thought into something to be written here let me know and I'll be first to help.....as soon as I get a plan, and a costed resource allocation model and don't forget the extra time needed to allow me to cover the technology changes since you were a young troglodyteen with your very first set of clay tablets.........

...... which some new NES'ers may doubt, but El Ratsack can attest that it indeed was Turbo who came down from Mt Bogong (pronounced Bogan) with a full set of tablets that comprised the bulk of the present Ops Manual, hence the difficulty in rewriting it ........... which is proving as difficult for RAOz as finding the Ark of the Covenant has been for Archaeologist Rat.

 

 

 

"You are right, Ratso" said Turbid "My tablets were as ground breaking as the ones that Moses lugged down and like his, mine would be hard to improve on. After all and as an example, how would you like to have to draft a re-write of the Ten Commandments ........... although a possible improvement might be to drop that one about not coveting thy neighbour's wife and on 2nd thoughts that wouldn't be too hard using "Track Changes" in a Word version. However just having 9 Commandments is not as catchy from a marketing point of view."

 

 

 

"Hey Tink" suggested Andy "Why don't you help RAA out this weekend and duck back up to Mt Bogan and see if you can get him (or her) to supply a draft of the new Ops Manual, but get it supplied on Carbon Fibre this time rather than clay."

 

 

 

"Bugger traipsing all that way." replied Tink "As my Vette uses heaps of juice, I'll email him (or her) and have him (or her) send me a set of tablets via Facebook, .......... so Ratso, as you sit on a stool to his (or her) right, will you please PM me the Big Fella's email address when you have time, then ...................

 

 

 

TURBO AT BOGONG WITH THE SOON TO BE SUPERCEDED OPS MANUAL (SECTION 4 IS CLEARLY VISIBLE) ................ AND YOU CAN SEE FROM THIS PHOTO WHY THE MANUAL MAKES SUCH A BIG THING ABOUT NOT OPERATING RECREATIONAL AIRCRAFT IN A STORM AND NOT FLYING TOO FAR OVER WATER WITHOUT A LIFE JACKET. THE GRASS STRIP AT BOGONG IS OUT OF SHOT TO TUBB'S RIGHT.

 

 

[turboplanner]

"I'll just drop him a lion about wether he can send us the new Ops Manal with the bits about taking good photos, getting the contrast just right, and the 32 tablets about composing the photo for the left side, right side and rear, and whether the letters need to be in Arabic or whether American would do, and also......."

 

Turbo hasn't posted about his engine failures following an unfortunate series of incidents with outboards, but when he and Ratsh$t flew to the Mountain not only the weather was appalling and the sea up, but in the middle of the turbulence, during which Ratso spilled his coffee and brandy all over Turbo's Tablet, the Moron's trusty engine quit again with a big bang, and Turbo was forced to make an amazing forced landing in a rocky valley.Turbo was mildly upset at this and found some rocks and belted the sh$t out of the moron.

 

 

Unfortunately Ratso, whom Turbo had thought of as a mate, has publicly shown a photo of Turbo "losing it" when what happened on the Mount should have STAYED on the Mount (like it did with Moses, but that's another story.)

 

 

[Captain]

"I'll just drop him a lion about wether he can send us the new Ops Manal with the bits about taking good photos, getting the contrast just right, and the 32 tablets about composing the photo for the left side, right side and rear, and whether the letters need to be in Arabic or whether American would do, and also......."

......... in Hebrew, he thought remembering the lingo on the tablets, but fearing a Hamas rocket up the Kyber (ConfusedGeographicRef).

 

 

 

"I have an easy solution" said Andy "Get the new Ops Manual on a Samsung Tablet, which will allow you to edit it and issue it to all RAOz Members via Memeo Share."

 

 

 

"Great idea Andy, as even Blank Page will be able to understand those instructions, and once the Ops Manual has been solved by Turdy, we will use his proven engine failure skills to ensconce him as RAOz Techman."

 

 

 

"I agree" said the 12 Incher "As Turbid has been involved in engine failures in Trucks, Cars, Outboards, Aircraft, Pacemakers, Dialysis Machines and has proven that everything mechanical that he touches turns to custard, so he's ideal as a Techman. Tink is the common denominator in all these failures, so that's invaluable experience to an employment pathway into C*S* (now seen as a swearword by the WreckFlying computer)."

 

 

 

"He is certainly very common" said Brackish and added "It's the .............

 

 

[Bryon]

...lack of human affection as a child which made him turn to all things mechanical for love"

 

Madge piped up with "You should see his collection of....

 

 

[Captain]

...lack of human affection as a child which made him turn to all things mechanical for love"Madge piped up with "You should see his collection of....

...... steam heated, mechanical, lifelike va.................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

vasectomy models used by world renown nut cutters....... it was a well known fact that tubs, as well as being a trucking expert was a master micro plumber specializing in blocking...........

 

 

[Captain]

vasectomy models used by world renown nut cutters....... it was a well known fact that tubs, as well as being a trucking expert was a master micro plumber specializing in blocking...........

......... instead of nut cutting (that's funny, Andy).

 

 

"How does he achieve such blockages?" asked the 12 Incher, wincing and going back to just 4.

 

 

 

"He uses the newly developed technique of putting a rubber band around them" reported Bobb LLewellyynn "And they go black like lamb's tails used to."

 

 

 

"Erky Perky" said Salty with his legs crossed & knees bent.

 

 

 

"Can I have a go with one?" asked Ahlox showing unhealthy interest, as he got prepared to .................

 

 

[Bob Llewellyn]

......... instead of nut cutting (that's funny, Andy).

 

"How does he achieve such blockages?" asked the 12 Incher, wincing and going back to just 4.

 

 

 

"He uses the newly developed technique of putting a rubber band around them" reported Bobb LLewellyynn "And they go black like lamb's tails used to."

 

 

 

"Erky Perky" said Salty with his legs crossed & knees bent.

 

 

 

"Can I have a go with one?" asked Ahlox showing unhealthy interest, as he got prepared to .................

...flex his rubber bands. "Here, look you" said Bobbb, holding out a small cardboard box, "these newfangled X-rings work twice as fast and hurt 4 times as much as the old..." Eeeeurgh! said Ratty, knees together and hands over his crotch (medref). There was a sharp crack sound made by the air rushing into the vacuum where the 4-incher had been...

 

 

[Captain]

...flex his rubber bands. "Here, look you" said Bobbb, holding out a small cardboard box, "these newfangled X-rings work twice as fast and hurt 4 times as much as the old..." Eeeeurgh! said Ratty, knees together and hands over his crotch (medref). There was a sharp crack sound made by the air rushing into the vacuum where the 4-incher had been...

......... , similar to the noise that Turbo makes when he puffs out his chest and sucks in his gut whenever there is a photo opportunity ....... or when he picks up a Saturday-night hottie on Lygon St in the 'Vette.

 

 

 

"I've heard that noise" said Brine "But I thought that it was a Rotax gearbox that had done 500 hrs without oil, while fitted with a sprag-clutch with shagged sprags, however if that noise was actually emitted by Turdbro, he must be ..........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....very much in gear, and Hot!, Hot!, Hot!, and ......

 

 

[Captain]

.....very much in gear, and Hot!, Hot!, Hot!, and ......

..... imagine his disappointment when it turned out that they were really just hot-flushes.

 

 

 

"Don't worry Tink" said the Saturday Night Lygon Hottie (SNiLyH) "I'll stick with you if you pay me a few grand, grecian your hair like the Doc does, supply a gross of possum skin thongs, call me Brynne and ..............

 

 

 

 

 

TURBO IS HAVING ONE OF THESE SUITS KNOCKED UP AS WE SPEAK, BUT WITH A POSSUM PRINT RATHER THAN LEOPARD.

 

 

 

A flying-suit is then to be made with the offcuts, so TurdBoy will even look flasher than E Paul Ette, don't ya reckon? Look out for him at Natfly 2015.

 

 

[Bandit12]

..... imagine his disappointment when it turned out that they were really just hot-flushes. 

 

"Don't worry Tink" said the Saturday Night Lygon Hottie (SNiLyH) "I'll stick with you if you pay me a few grand, grecian your hair like the Doc does, supply a gross of possum skin thongs, call me Brynne and ..............

 

.

....love me in the morning!"

 

Now this was going to be a problem, for everyone knows that SNiLyH are far from lovable in the morning, or even in the evening through the thickest set of beer goggles that money can buy, which meant that......

 

 

[Captain]

....love me in the morning!"

Now this was going to be a problem, for everyone knows that SNiLyH are far from lovable in the morning, or even in the evening through the thickest set of beer goggles that money can buy, which meant that......

....... Turbo's right arm was in mortal danger, as he always sleeps on the left side of the bed. (Erky Perky??).

 

 

 

"Hang on" thought Turbid "I can't afford to chew that arm off, because I use it for other things when SniLyH's are unavailable, and that is perhaps why some on WreckFlying call me a ............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brine told my Aunt that this is the reason that Scotch was invented. ................ For those occasions when "the thickest set of beer goggles that money can buy" are still insufficient.

 

 

[Bob Llewellyn]

....... Turbo's right arm was in mortal danger, as he always sleeps on the left side of the bed. (Erky Perky??). 

 

"Hang on" thought Turbid "I can't afford to chew that arm off, because I use it for other things when SniLyH's are unavailable, and that is perhaps why some on WreckFlying call me a ............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brine told my Aunt that this is the reason that Scotch was invented. ................ For those occasions when "the thickest set of beer goggles that money can buy" are still insufficient.

..n action hero! (sort of...)", as he had another hot flush. "Babe, you're hot!" drawled the SniLyHi, filing her nails and yawning. Just then, a vision in sequinned shirt and hot pants strolled up... it was

 

 

[turboplanner]

Hatso in his campaigning clothes. "If I am elected.........", he started, with his best Executive smile, but someone kindly told him he was talking to the drinking fountain.

 

"Doesn't matter" he said the guy was as thick as (MOD: One more comment about XXXXXXXXXX and the door might slam on your arxxx on the way out).

 

It just wasn't Hatso's night; Dazzle, fresh in bright yellow pants, a Cargo top, and bright pink hair heaped praise on Bob Forells for using an n before a vowell.

 

"So many people these days write: " 'call me a action hero', or 'I'll have a egg', or 'he's a idiot', or 'I'm eating a orange', or 'where's a umbrella', which is all so Logan"

 

Bob, dressed in lycra and looking like a cyclist was overcome at how clever he was, and said "they don't............"

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

write proppa but they fit more into the SMS text length and save that 2nd 25c for the 2nd SMS, which doesnt sound like much but these days is the equivalent of about 3 40 minute long distance calls or is equal to the amount that the Telstra share price can drop day to day.......Which just goes to show...something I guess!

 

Meanwhile Tubs was asking Shatso why he was talking to the drinking fountain, Andy replied that when it came to dribbling who better to get the inside gos on the best and most believable ways............Ratso, was quick to point out that the fountain was a mere pleb when it came to dribbling and for those years of experience moments he'd best.........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....talk to Ratso who dribbled on his weet bix, dribbled in the bath and dribbled on the floor and then he .................

 

 

[Captain]

.....talk to Ratso who dribbled on his weet bix, dribbled in the bath and dribbled on the floor and then he .................

....... burnt some of Andy's incense (see post # 9282) and applied one of those elastic-bands (see post # 9289) and the dribbling stopped, until that fateful night when the ...........