The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

Not only that, but one poster (AndyS@HardRockCafe) has posted that you not only beat the first goose, but the second one and actually caught up with a chick, and.............

........ took the camera from her, then lured her into the bushes by the mangroves and gave her a big surprise, which, after a marriage that has been longer than an Axe-Murderer's prison sentence (plus the equivalent of "hard labour" talking IT and Project management technicalities at the breakfast table), she found to be ........

 

 

[turboplanner]

....all too short, and.......

 

 

[Captain]

....all too short, and.......

...... that hadn't been an issue before, particularly during that weekend at the Noccundra Pub where the bridal spar video suite package had been booked and the syllables of the name of the pub were used as ..........

 

 

[Captain]

...... that hadn't been an issue before, particularly during that weekend at the Noccundra Pub where the bridal spar video suite package had been booked and the syllables of the name of the pub were used as ..........

........ a prompt, after Andy's darling took the foreplay lead by the dextrous use of a Noccundra Pub stubby holder and by reading excerpts from the first 15 chapters of Andy's well used textbook titled "TCP/IP Fundamentals for Microsoft Windows", a particularly saucy tale by Joseph Davies and which automatically falls open at the smutty bits.

 

 

 

"That was one of the hottest nights of my life" said Andy as he bragged to all his mates at the South Grafton Aero Club "But what happened next was the "Piece of de la Reesistonce" when .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........there was a knock on the door.....well it was a piece you could resist because it was the Committee of the Goose Protection and Right to be Left Alone Society. Someone had posted Hatso's holiday snaps on social media, and.............

 

 

[Bandit12]

.....accused him of being a tyre kicker."

 

Well, you can imagine what happened then. Cars screeched to a halt, mothers covered the ears of their children, as Andy drew himself up to his full height of 4 ft 11in and screamed..........

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Andys political opponents, who were known to have graduated from the NSW Health Union School of "Don't Get Caught" with a full diploma of "everyone needs at least 20 Bank accounts" and a Masters in "I'm Sorry I don't recall that", had, in order to shift focus from shifty things, pointed out that There was a goose being attacked, but didn't identify which goose was being attacked by what goose. Andy had his out, "There are so many Goose's around that a claim of attack of one on another is like looking for a grain of sand in your jocks after a good dumping at the beach......The Analogy was a good one, and had people scratching their heads to try and link sandy jocks and goose attacks and as is so often the case when something doesn't blatantly connect they dropped it and moved on to .....

 

<OOps sorry 12 incher....did a quick post and left for the afternoon....didn't see I had posted over the top...Sorry!>

 

PPS For those that live a long way from the beach (or at least one that's safe to swim in without accompanying floating dumps, I need to point out that being dumped at the beach doesn't mean you felt the need to drop a #2 into a covertly dug hole, but rather you were having fun, and not taking all the care you should have been and mother nature snuck up and pumbled your face into the sand and your legs into the air when it all went wrong while body surfing......In my case I have a lot of body....like a fine red wine...... and as such have been known to inspect the ocean floor close to shore from time to time......

 

 

[turboplanner]

....ask questions of Madge the Silent for a bit of sport.

 

A members of the Surf Life Saving Association happened to be browsing this forum by mistake, and shortly there was another knock on the door, and this time it was the Grand President of all the lifesaving clubs in NSW who said "Dumping on a beach in public is prohibited; fortunately for you no one got a photo, but....................."

 

 

[AVOCET]

The stench had drifted all the way to NZ and got the attention of the local CSI mob who can do the investigation

 

For a fraction of the cost , and thereby ..........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.........and had the potential to get Hatshat the GooseStepper out of some serious trouble from lefties like.............

 

 

[Captain]

.........and had the potential to get Hatshat the GooseStepper out of some serious trouble from lefties who like.............

..... to make trouble.

 

"Hullo, hullo, hullo, bro" sud the bloke frum the Keeeweee See Uss Eye, eh cuz "Und wuts thus we hear about you having a crup on a bich near a batch in your jandals, eh bro?"

 

Undy, who wuz stull digging the sand out of his speedo's and from the depths of his cruck, and who is multi-lingual, was non-plussed by thus ucusation, eh bro, and sud ".................

 

 

[Bryon]

..Adolfus Epilettus from FFNQ who......

 

 

[Bryon]

Rats...beaten to the reply by the feral Rattus agin....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....hud meuved to FFNQ from Tezzie after he had been caught wearing he epaulettes (epilets Madge) in Church, but had been moved on by A4 after a tyre kucking uncudint in Clifton Beach, where ......

 

 

[Captain]

.....hud meuved to FFNQ from Tezzie after he had been caught wearing he epaulettes (epilets Madge) in Church, but had been moved on by A4 after a tyre kucking uncudint in Clifton Beach, where ......

....... he kucked an old codger who was tired, thun proceeded to ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.........run amok in the Townsville RSL, and ask where the five dollar handbags were, and.......

 

 

[Captain]

.........run amok in the Townsville RSL, and ask where the five dollar handbags were, and.......

....... where were the actual rissoles (or dud he actually mean r-soles, given that it IS f'n Q).

 

 

 

Maaadge, whose great aunt's great great grandmother had been a Queen (so it is hereditary...... NTTIAWWT) of the Waka (so that must be hereditary too) tribe thought long and hard, and eventually turned to E Paul at a boring Board Meeting and said "My great aunt's great great grandmother wasn't really all that great, but she did grate on ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......a trip to the Grate Australian Bite, frequently taking control of the Rightwing when I was trying to read a map with my finger.

 

Epaulette was shocked to here this. "You mean a Mainlander like you can't get a fux on hus posution? Thet's dusgustin ay" said the little guy from Tasmana F'N'F'NQ and Rotorua who picked up a little of the local dialect wherever he went, and...........

 

 

[Captain]

....... who picked up a little of the local dialect wherever he went, and...........

...... then dropped her back at the pub the next morning to pick up her car.

 

 

 

"I fly a Rightwing" Madge said proudly "Because I am a .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

"....n ironed on member of the Minin Party"

 

"Don't you mean Mining Party?" asked Dazzle getting mildly interested.

 

"I know what I mean" said Madge, "and I don't mean..........."

 

 

[Captain]

"....n ironed on member of the Minin Party""Don't you mean Mining Party?" asked Dazzle getting mildly interested.

 

"I know what I mean" said Madge, "and I don't mean..........."

..... the Minger Party.

 

 

 

" Because I wus worried about those supersillyarse knobs what clit-icise those of us here what cannot spell or illiterate proper, I looked it up in the dickshunhairy" interjected Ahlot-the-(minger)-Harlot ..... "And "Minger" means "A male or female who fell out of the ugly tree at birth and hit every branch on the way down", so now that I done thunk it thru (and have stopped looking in the mirror), Saint Madge frum Mount Perrier, near Rotaxrua, may well be a Minger Prince (or Princess .. NTTIAWWT) and that means that he can now move directly to the top of the ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....arxx (his favourite word).........of his little committee of the Silent Order, who for their meetings wear brown robes, but normally reside in the sides of cliffs (avref) where they can sometimes go for years without speaking. An interesting fact about theses Monks is that the usual words they break their silence with are "Ow SH$T!!!!!" when some wag, attempting to get ahead on the ladder belts their toe with a brick, or .................

 

 

[Captain]

.....arxx (his favourite word).........

......... doesn't one just hate dealing with plebs like this on Rec.Flying?" said some knob "Surely one can't be expected to share one's air with non-spellers who surely can't be trusted to obtain a certificate or build a flying machine. One must get one's butler or one's secretary to post one's complaint to one's thread."

 

"One agrees" said Johnny Cash "As I am retired early, mine doesn't stink either, I am a classically trained plucker domiciled on a yacht so how good am I, and one flits over to NZ whenever one wants a kiwi-fruit, a flying lesson or .........

 

 

[turboplanner]

"When one is old money, Ratto, one doesn't make a song and dance about it; rather, one makes one's way to 'Z quietly and nicks one's kiwi fruit from the nearest orchard, then choofs back old boy. One knows a bargain when one sees one, you see." said Turbo, reading from Britain's "Richest 200".

 

"As you know, the real Johnny Cash passed away some years ago, just before I'd bought tickets to his show" continued Turbo, and my men on the ground tell me this one is actually a little computer technician with multiple personality syndrome who also plays Dangerous Debbie"

 

"Well who........?

 

 

[Captain]

"When one is old money, Ratto, one doesn't make a song and dance about it; rather, one makes one's way to 'Z quietly and nicks one's kiwi fruit from the nearest orchard, then choofs back old boy. One knows a bargain when one sees one, you see." said Turbo, reading from Britain's "Richest 200".

"As you know, the real Johnny Cash passed away some years ago, just before I'd bought tickets to his show" continued Turbo, and my men on the ground tell me this one is actually a little computer technician with multiple personality syndrome who also plays Dangerous Debbie"

 

"Well who........?

...... woulda thunk that I'd be pinged so quickly." said Salty while wearing his new Dangerous Debbie outfit.

 

"One thinks that Dangerous Debbie from Dandenong is hot and one wants one with her" Johnny Cashed-up said to his Butler who doubled as the Bosun in charge of the foredeck crew and also as the under-footman for the chefs in the lower galley. "I say, Jeeves, please duck down to the Nong and aks Dangerous Deb to have a tub, have her don some aftershave, then dress her in her finest and bring her to one in one's cabin before giving the rest of the crew a shot of shore leave, what?"

 

Jeeves, being a man of the world ...............