The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

...........and running for his life because it's no goose chasing him this time, but a ...........

 

 

[Captain]

...........and running for his life because it's no goose chasing him this time, but a ...........

........... n appreciative Brahman heifer who knows prime meat when she sees it.

 

 

 

But first, Andy needed to un-handcuff (and un-anklecuff) himself from the steel structure shown in the photo (For our city readers ..... I point out that there is nothing unusual about this as it is just standard farming practice in f'n Q which Turbo and Andy have successfully introduced into the residential communities in which they thrive), where he had attached himself in a spreadeagle star pattern in readiness for the .............

 

 

 

 

Ratty's above reply was written before TurdBoy attached the photo to his post #9426 and Ratso says "Wow .......... that looks very much like what happened at the 2013 EGM" ...... with the members being that bull.

 

 

[turboplanner]

......board Secrecy Signing Ceremony, Saint Madge the Silent presiding in his monk's robe, a scepter made from a sugar cane stalk, and carrying his own orb.

 

"Repeat after me" he started, but Hatso was so disturbed by his recent bull walling that he was already repeating, and as St Madge waddled closer, while chanting, Hatso let go a........................

 

 

[Captain]

.......... halfa kilo of frozen peas (also containing some frozen corn) which ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.........put an indentation in the side of a passing Kenworth and knocked a member of the Orang Utangs off his bike which........

 

 

[Captain]

.........put an indentation in the side of a passing Kenworth and knocked a member of the Orang Utangs off his bike which........

....... made the truckie and the Orang Utang member spit chips.

 

 

 

"Hey" said the truckie, "These peas and corn will go well with those chips and also with the prosciutto that just fell to earth after that 230 went over, but what about ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

"..............tomato sauce?" St Madge smiled, and his eyes lit up........................

 

 

[Bandit12]

"..............tomato sauce?" St Madge smiled, and his eyes lit up........................

.....when the truckie pulled out a container that looked suspiciously like BBQ sauce.

 

"I drained this from the sump of my Jabiru" he said, offering the sludge to Madge "and it tastes more than a little like......

 

 

[turboplanner]

....genuine South Carolina ketchup!

 

"It is!" said the truckie. "I was asking on a forum what is the best way to avoid the engine virus, someone said they'd bought some ketchup on ebay and put it in at the last oil change, and had had no problems since."

 

"How many hours had they flown since the oil change" asked Hatso with sudden interest

 

"he said they weather had been too bad to fly" replied the truckie in all innocence, but you and I...................

 

 

[Captain]

WARNING ......... WARNING .......... WARNING

 

 

 

TO ANY NEW MEMBERS OF THE EXCELLENT REC. FLYING WEBSITE.

 

 

 

If you are a relatively new member of this website and are looking for guidance in your Recreational Flying activities, we wish to point out that the 12 Incher (and yes it really is) and TurdBoy have finally gone too far in their posts 9432 - 9434 inclusive.

 

 

 

Until those posts, the NES had maintained an air of credibility and any members reading it with care could apply the espoused principals without fear or favour.

 

 

 

However the management, staff and friends of Wreck Flying must point out that anyone using Tomatoe, Barbecue, Tobasco, Chateaubriand or Béarnaise sauces in their 2200, 3300 or 4400 engine has an increased risk of engine malfunction, not to mention the use of South Carolina Ketchup which is just a plain silly suggestion by Turbs as this Ketchup has been well proven for a long time to contain highly corrosive elements that have given trouble in the past in various Lycoming internal combustion engines and in some Pratt and Witney turbines. But in all fairness & in the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted that Hollondaise Sauce has shown encouraging results during early testing.

 

 

 

Eeeen has asked me to add that he requests all contributors to the NES to consider the new blokes and blokettes who may read their material and to revert to keeping it factual in future. Although he also asked me to add that the frozen turd concept might be a godsend for the sport in extending the life of the valves in these engines. Eeeen has checked out the entropy and enthalpy of this scheme, not to mention the angle of the dangle, and he has given it a big tick plus taken out a preliminary patent. He also likes the additional supply of prosciutto that is the by-product as this has reduced the price of prosciutto worldwide and the market in prosciutto futures on the New York stock exchange has fallen to its lowest level since the great prosciutto scare of 1936, which Eeeeen remembers so well.

 

 

 

Now back to the story ...................................... all innocence, but you and I ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

.............know that he has thirty three seized engines out the back of his workshop, and they are the ones where the engines could be found.

 

"Who was it?' asked Hatso, but the truckie just smiled. Truckies are cunning that way, he was waiting for Hatso's Silence Ceremony, and he knew that then he would have a bargaining...............

 

 

[Captain]

.............know that he has thirty three seized engines (which is almost as many outboards as Turbs has been through since 1975) out the back of his workshop, and they are the ones where the engines could be found."Who was it?' asked Hatso, but the truckie just smiled. Truckies are cunning that way, he was waiting for Hatso's Silence Ceremony, and he knew that then he would have a bargaining...............

........... chip to add to the Peas and Corn compote that results from each roll of the cheeks.

 

 

 

In the meanwhilst, our best mate Andy the goose tamer, was preparing for his debut at the RA-Oz Board Meeting and St Madge of the Blessed Indoctrinator had been given the gig as "The Mentor de Hatso".

 

 

 

"I'll look after ya for the first 5 years" said St Madge to the still enthusiastic & wide-eye'd Andy, who had just had his first glimpse of the Compactus out the back and the 3.7 million manila folders which contain all of the member's ................

 

 

[Bandit12]

....dating profiles from RSVP, eHarmony, and JabJabber, the latest place to meet and.....

 

 

[Captain]

....dating profiles from RSVP, eHarmony, and JabJabber, the latest place to meet and.....

............ exchange selfies of their best bits.

 

 

 

In the case of the 12 Incher, that involved a selfie of his ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....Alpha 160A which was so ugly that mo one else had ever taken a photo of it, thinking it was a mound of old fencing materials and offcuts from the local cabinet maker, where......

 

 

[Captain]

....Alpha 160A which was so ugly that mo one else had ever taken a photo of it, thinking it was a mound of old fencing materials and offcuts from the local cabinet maker. Wear .....

..... and tear on Turbo had obviously taken its toll, as the Alpha 160 A is much more attractive than the basic 160 model and is so sexy that it has its own dating sites named alphaharmony.com and alphaSVP.org, where the 12 Incher has a ........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....sticky note at the top of each side saying "Anyone will do, bring a paper bag if you're not sure, ........................."

 

 

[Captain]

.....sticky note at the top of each side saying "Anyone will do, bring a paper bag if you're not sure .........."

....... that you can stand looking at my melon while we get down to business, as I am prepared to wear any paper or plastic bag that will satisfy you and get the job done." (The Twelve Incher had previously appeared on one of AlphaHarmony's TV adverts while wearing a Coles Shopping Bag, but that Advert was rated as a disaster, both for AlphaHarmony and also for Bandy's prospects with the ladies .......... or the blokes NTTIAWWT).

 

Based on the above, Ahlox, in his capacity as a Moderatti Magnificenti (and a bit of a devo), checked out the 12 Incher's avatar and concluded that he did not look too bad (but did not exactly look attractive either) so Ahlox suggests that any interested party should consider a David Jones shopping bag as a minimum requirement.

 

"I have one" said .................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE ABSOLUTE MINIMUM REQUIREMENT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE 12 INCHER WITH A PROSPECT, BEFORE SHE REALIZED THAT SHE COULD SEE THRU THAT BAG & BECAME SO VIOLENTLY ILL ALL OVER THOSE FEET THAT THEY THOUGHT SHE WAS AN EBOLA VICTIM.

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Rat..."but I note that now as a result of us being more environmentally aware, that its gone back to being brown paper based so I'm a bit worried as to its ability to last as a result of...............

 

 

[Captain]

Rat..."but I note that now as a result of us being more environmentally aware, that its gone back to being brown paper based so I'm a bit worried as to its ability to last as a result of...............

........ the FootLong dribbling while on the job and the brown paper elongating like a thru-bolt in a ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

..........cannibal's nose.

 

"Was someone calling me?" asked Cannibal Lecturer who was busy working out the additional drag resulting from the application of a Clear Prop sticker to the side window of a Skyfox [mild avref], and.......

 

 

[Captain]

..........cannibal's nose."Was someone calling me?" asked Cannibal Lecturer who was busy working out the additional drag resulting from the application of a Clear Prop sticker to the side window of a Skyfox [mild avref], and.......

...... then he turned to Clarence and said "You still wake up sometimes, don't you Clarence? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the CASA Inspectorate. Don't you Clarence? Well, Clarence - have the Inspectors stopped screaming?"

 

 

 

"Cannibal Lecturer frightens the heck out of me when he speaks thru that mask (he sounds like Ahlox on a bad day), so much so that I get the squirts" said Andy to Clarence "And he ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

involuntarily shuddered, and accidentally let go a little.....

 

 

[Captain]

involuntarily shuddered, and accidentally let go a little.....

........... secret gem from the Board email system, a wondrous world of wisdom, hilarious mirth and depravity into which Andy had recently been admitted, and which the ordinary members are forbidden to see. "Do you know, Clarry, that ..........

 

 

[turboplanner]

".......I've been waiting ten years just to get here and read the Secrets Book. I especially want to read the story about..................."