The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

"..........the latest Hatso product 'Sh$tsRus - Armageddon Now!', sponsored by the Royal Astronauts Association, who ........"

......... share a certain something with a boating accident on Port Phillip Bay."

 

 

 

"Geeeez Turdboy is subtle" said Brine "As I just worked out what he was getting at with that post."

 

 

 

"I'm buggered (NTTIAWWT) if I could work it out" interjected Moderattori Ahloxisplendifferoci.

 

 

 

"The colour of the boat was the same as the 2,000th aircraft on the RAA register, and they were both serviced by a bloke named Trevor" replied Salty "Therefore the point that Turbid was making was that .............

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

If you had, due engine failure, to land in port Philip bay, then best it not be behind (NTTIAWWT) boats driven by leading citizens who may well feel the need to reverse, without those little buzzer things that trucks have to announce impending..........

 

 

[Captain]

If you had, due engine failure, to land in port Philip bay, then best it not be behind (NTTIAWWT) boats driven by leading citizens who may well feel the need to reverse, without those little buzzer things that trucks have to announce impending..........

..... doom and failure.

 

 

 

"They say "Beep beep ....WARNING ..... Turbo designed part of me ..... WARNING ..... Lock up your daughters, the devo has bought a Vette ..... WARNING ..... Beep beep", then the recorded postscript ...................

 

 

[Phil Perry]

................. message came on, ( y'know, . . .one of those disclaimers you hear at the end of every radio advert, spoken at ninety knots to save airtime,. . .) "ThisMessageIsOnlyIntendedForThoseWhoSpeakFluentAustralianNoResponsibilityCanBeAcceptedForInjuryCausedToNonAustralianSpeakersTermsAndConditionsApply"

 

Well, . . . .That really made me jump I can tell you,. . . . it surprised me that much that I jumped out of the way immediateley, forgetting that I was standing on the front left pontoon of me Cessna Floatplane, . . . ! ! ! As I floated in the briny, just 3 Km off Frankston Beach, I heard in the distance somewhere the unmistakeable sound of a.............

 

 

[Captain]

........ an outboard motor running reliably and without interruption.

 

 

 

"What's that noise that I have never heard before?" asked Turbo with unmistakable curiosity.

 

 

 

"And what is that bright ball up in the sky that is making me feel warm?" asked Phil.

 

 

 

"I know the answers to both questions" replied Salty "They are .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....

 

(a) A four cylinder outboard motor running as it should

 

(b) The fifth piston, which Turbo fitted "just in case" arcing up over the star Sirius

 

Salty pondered "I wonder if this could be the solution to.................."

 

 

[Captain]

.....(a) A four cylinder outboard motor running as it should

 

(b) The fifth piston, which Turbo fitted "just in case" arcing up over the star Sirius

 

Salty pondered "I wonder if this could be the solution to.................."

......... our impending global cooling problems? As geeeez it is cool here this morning."

 

 

 

Please note, Dear NES Reader, that Turbo had only ever heard his outboard running on 4 pots when he briefly owned a V8 Johnno before it completely dropped its guts, and Turbo's 5th Piston is legendary and similar to the 5th Beatle, who ...............

 

 

[Captain]

STOP PRESS ........ PICTURE FROM THE NES XMAS PARTY LAST SUNDAY AT THE BLUE OYSTER ........ STOP PRESS

 

 

Photo taken last Sunday night of Happy NES'ers responding to their impersonate a celebrity theme.

 

From left to right are Salty, Phil (who flew his 230 over from Pommyland for the day), some ring-in from the Village People (NTTIAWWT) Tribute Band, Ahlox (he is a great Dolly P), Turbo as Barak OB, Eeeeeeen, The 12 Inchers, AndyCoughsupfurballs, and 'AvaSet.

 

 

[turboplanner]

.............had front teeth which allowed him to each a cabbage through wire netting, and so he was always kept in the prompter's pit during shows where..............

 

 

[Captain]

.............had front teeth which allowed him to each a cabbage through wire netting, and so he was always kept in the prompter's pit during shows where..............

........ he could eat a peach through a tennis racket, and couldn't take his eyes off Ahlox in his red dress, before ................

 

 

[turboplanner]

......flexing his fingers to quietly write a post in Een's friendly forums.

 

"Who can I be tonight?" he thought running his finger down the list of his "posters", all with different names, sexes, and personalities.

 

On some occasions he could get five of them into a thread, all helpfully supporting his argument, and have two more spitting and writing nasty PMs to anyone who dared offer a genuine opinion.

 

"I think I'll be Martin Boeing, and ...................."

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

to really confuse them I'll adopt the female icon as my picture why trying to restrict the usage of my favourite sayings of "Gidday Mate" and "How they hangin?" and "strewth these jocks are chaffin me balls" cause they might tend to give away that I'm not female rather I'm.........

 

 

[Captain]

to really confuse them I'll adopt the female icon as my picture why trying to restrict the usage of my favourite sayings of "Gidday Mate" and "How they hangin?" and "strewth these jocks are chaffin me balls" cause they might tend to give away that I'm not female rather I'm.........

........ not male either. I am Herm Aphrodite (NTTIAWWT), the well known contributor to pee pee prune, where I ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

".........was doing rather well until I posted a photo of my instrument panel with its neat little registration label for all to see, and had to delete 274 posts in one night, particularly the ones where I was a Boeing Captain, but I did get to send a nasty PM to the Prime Minister infering that I knew where he lived, and..............."

 

 

[Captain]

".........was doing rather well until I posted a photo of my instrument panel with its neat little registration label for all to see, and had to delete 274 posts in one night, particularly the ones where I was a Boeing Captain, but I did get to send a nasty PM to the Prime Minister infering that I knew where he lived, and..............."

....... was coming around to have some of my extensions paid for and to set up an Onion Slushy Fund. Oooops, wrong Prime Mincer, so I'd best get back on pee pee pruney and tip a bucket on .................

 

 

[turboplanner]

....my alter ego "DeltaMichCharleen", who will respond "...................."

 

 

[Captain]

....my alter ego "DeltaMichCharleen", who will respond "...................."

...... Hey Herm, is it true that you are called both Herman and Aphrodite and that you have one set of each?"

 

 

 

This caused a considerable stir down at the CWA when Mavis read out this section of the NES at their AGM and then asked to nobody in particular "I wonder if they are close enough to each other to get entangled?"

 

 

 

To which Edna replied ".............

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Well I bet they would be well suited to working at CASA.....They'd be the only ones who could, when they get told, by an agitated wreckflyer as a result of an over exuberant and somewhat rampant ramp check...

 

Mavis got that look in her eye and said wistfully Id like a rampant check.....but all I've got is turbo and he's more whether than rampant......bit like

 

 

[turboplanner]

.........the inocculation time each year when all the rams turn into rampants and...............

 

 

[Captain]

.........the inocculation time each year when all the rams turn into rampants and...............

...... the grazier's wife hears the word "inoculation" then looks wistfully at that packet of little blue pills behind the mirror in the bathroom and thinks "Do I dare slip a couple into his ............

 

 

[Captain]

.......... thermos for his morning smoko, after which it will be ...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

...............................smokn!, and....................

 

 

[Captain]

...............................smokn!, and....................

.......... Turbo did his best Matt Hall impersonation as he turned the smoke on and dived the Warrior towards Nanna's private birthday party down in the mansion on her 25,000 acres by the river.

 

 

 

"G'day, Turbo" she said over the hand-held "You are cleared into the box" ..................... then she ..................

 

 

[Captain]

.......... Turbo did his best Matt Hall impersonation as he turned the smoke on and dived the Warrior towards Nanna's private birthday party down in the mansion on her 25,000 acres by the river. 

 

"G'day, Turbo" she said over the hand-held "You are cleared into the box" ..................... then she ..................

....... thought, "When the girls told me that Turbo had an Extra 330, I naturally assumed that they meant that he ...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

....had an extra 330 seconds, but now I find he has one of those Tiger Moth thingys that does loop the loops, and makes a lot of noise.

 

In fact Turbo actually had a 300L, but we won't be pedants or we'd be here all day correcting Ratso's spelling mistakes, grammar, syntax, nomenclature and hair style.

 

It's not surprising that he got the model designation wrong, because he had the ride of his life last weekend, losing his teeth in a hair raising experience in the 300L.

 

Turbo decided to take him up for a gentle run in the 300L and here's a clip showing how the dirty little rate tried to take control on takeoff, and how a brave Pitts pilot tried to help Turbo, who finished up....................

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us36sVK9DDY