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Posted

.............it will never go anywhere because everyone on this forum will tell you that journalists never write the truth, especially the Murder Press, who every day start a war, and pinch women's undies off clothes lines, and.......

 

 

Posted
.............it will never go anywhere because everyone on this forum will tell you that journalists never write the truth, especially the Murder Press, who every day start a war, and pinch women's undies off clothes lines, and.......

...... other such stuff that goes on in Coffs.

 

 

 

"It wasn't me" said Andy as he stuck 2 sets of cottontails down his jeans as DBP (Duck Bite Protection), but after I use 'em I always ..............

 

 

Posted

"..........hand them on to Een, so that can't be too bad can it?"

 

"When I was in the Army......................"

 

 

Guest Andys@coffs
Posted

we were taught to apply the 12 gauge Duck repellent liberally, noting that while I call it a Duck repellent it really is more of a broad spectrum animal repellent, with a 100% effectiveness against any and all animals or any other inanimate object that you feel the need to instantly deconstruct like.................

 

 

Posted
......Motz's UAVs, and intruders at the annual BNS, where....

.......... the BNS'ers have often been seen wearing nickers like those on their heads (generally similar to what happens at a public meeting at Coffs Council).

 

 

 

"I hasten to add that the 12 gauge Duck Repellent was environmentally friendly and I will start a thread immediately titled "WHY THE SKIPPIES INVENTED SOLAR POWER AND THEN WENT BACK TO LEAD SHOT".

 

 

 

"We used to wear cottontails on our heads in the army when going into combat" said Sgt Salty "And they were camouflage cottontails too, or at least I THINK that was what those marks were on them, but on 2nd thought, perhaps that was .................

 

 

 

Below is Sgt Salty modelling camouflage undies .................

 

 

 

 

 

Posted

........... dinner that was eaten quickly.

 

 

 

"Ah" said Acki "That must have been a hurry curry. The Empelor made us plomise to comit that during the rast war, but I hate that Indian tucker, however we just had to eat that with a smile on our dial when .....

 

 

Guest Andys@coffs
Posted

" we wear Undies over.....Hang on why do we need to smile? who can see if we are or aren't?....That damn Emplor!!!! Rat pass me the Duck repeller I have a deconstruction task in mind......and its probably going to be faster than a Hurry Curry...after all many hands make light work and......

 

 

Posted
.........Hurry Curry make fan necessary, and..............

...... with that reference to a "fan" (AvRef) the NES returned to an in-depth & factual aviation discussion about the latest ..........

 

 

Posted

...... curry available from Harry's Fast Food Emporium & BOB.

 

 

 

"That would be Hally's Hully Cully" said Acki as he prepared the Zero for departure on 23 right. "Cocko's away" he yelled to his support team.

 

 

 

"Why-a you tell-a me to go-a away?" asked Salvatori.

 

 

 

"Oh, so solly Sal, but it is Vital" replied Acki making use of his Cowra learnt effervescent Ozzie humour "You are a ..............

 

 

Posted

....Rucky gun of a son. Ever since you ricked that RSD rolly pop you have been a bit qleer (NTTIAWWT) and behaving rike a........

 

 

Posted
....Rucky gun of a son. Ever since you ricked that RSD rolly pop you have been a bit qleer (NTTIAWWT) and behaving rike a........

...... a yuppie trike tyke (A 29 year old 2 axis selfie taker with a double or triple barrel name).

 

[The spell checker suggested "Trike Dyke" (NTTIAWWT) although I have no real interest in dutch levees].

 

"This trike is really cool, pal" he said while clicking away and immediately posting the new selfie on FacePlant, looking at his specially shaped & coloured 5 o'clock shadow, touching himself while drinking an imported chardy, flashing his fake Merc keys and having his teeth whitened for the 3rd time "And I .................

 

 

Posted

.....ordered the yaks wool harness comforters and genuine olde englishe imported foxtail for the radio antenna just to impress them casa fellows.

 

The next time I get rump checked, they will be too busy admiring my flash tryke to notice.....

 

 

Posted

......but he was distracted by a crowd around the local news stand. Strolling over, Turbo found they were all avidly reading this mornings news story about a woman in Queensland who had been charged with Beastiality. In going through her house on a drug related search police had found footage of her having sex with her dog. At the Court hearing the reporters crowded around asking pointed questions, but she told them all to go and get f$$$$$.

 

Turbo was intrigued by this, so in an empathetic mood he went and knocked on her door and asked how she got into this position. On seeing her eyes narrow he quickly amended the question to ask why she did it.

 

"He's a nice dog", she said " and when you look around Queensland what choice did I have? Particularly coming from Townsville where............"

 

 

Posted

.......... I tried to crack onto Madge, but he just licked himself and scratched behind his ear. And as my old mum used to say, better the dog that you know than the one flying the Lightwing."

 

 

 

Madge put down the latest board papers, looked in the mirror and thought ..............

 

 

Posted

"

 

"Maybe I should try some flea powder? " as he gnawed on his gnocci,

 

"Or maybe I could wear a studded collar and ......."

 

 

Posted
"Maybe I should try some flea powder? " as he gnawed on his gnocci,"Or maybe I could wear a studded collar and ......."

"Stop right there." said the lady dog-fancier (for the 1st time ever). "I tried Madge and it turns out that my fido is a better lover, plus if I give him a Schmakko he will go again, whereas Madge just lies back smoking and thinking about his next flight in his Helliview."

 

 

 

"I know how to fix that" said Tink "All you have to do is ................

 

 

Posted

"..........lift his tail and hit him with a tablespoon of petrol, and he'll gyrate like Elvis, then......"

 

 

Posted

.......... up spoke one of the pyromaniacs from the RFS who wore his best orange overyalls that were covered in merit badges and said "The RFS finds Tubb's comments very unhelpful when he puts it in the mind of the public that Elvis has a chance of gyrating while fire-bombing their joint." [Let alone his unacceptable suggestion to give Madge a 91 octane E10 enema] Moderator.

 

 

"Oh look, he can tie knots and he has a badge for fire lighting" observed Ahlow while he seethed as only NSW Fire Brigade members can do when looking at an RFS peacock "Why, he even has a ...............

 

 

Posted

.....on and on and on.

 

"They must be mine " blurted a voice from the back, near Taswegia

 

"I had wondered where they got to. I thought I had left them on the end of Madge's bed the last time we had a flight together"

 

Elratsak immediately jumped up and said............

 

 

Posted

.........."WE'RE ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE! and any more from you Mickey Mouse and we'll.............."

 

 

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