The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

....extended BoB family will accost you in the street, and we all know where that leads.................

 

 

[Captain]

"Yes" replied Ahlox. "The main drag (NTTIAWWT) leads up to Temora and on to West Wyalong before it.....

 

 

[turboplanner]

...peters (avref to several pilots0 out and becomes a nettle ridden dustbowl called..........

 

 

[Captain]

...peters (avref to several pilots) out and becomes a nettle ridden dustbowl called..........

...... f'n outback f'n f'nQ, where Nanna was on her mettle amongst the nettle ..... and made her ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

...name giving joy rides at the Old Station fly in every year, and..............

 

 

[Captain]

....... she stayed busy even when the weather was crook and no fly-boys flew in.

 

 

 

"The locals are a very appreciative bunch" she added with a ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

..........smirk, because she had convinced Madge to show her an advance copy of the AGM agenda where......

 

 

[bull]

Turdy was trying to get his jab MOTW increased to cater for the new turbine that he got out of the wrecked f 16 that.........

 

 

[turboplanner]

..............had been sideswiped by Hatso's Jab which had strayed into CTA with Hatso asleep at the controls, a straw hat down over his eyes, a hawaiian shirt, a martini banalnce on top of the instrument panel and lipstick all.................

 

 

[Doug Evans]

Over the Joystick which then made for a very sticky landing ....trying not too spill the martini onto .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

........his seeing eye dog who was draped over the rudder pedals (avref, rare these days) at his feet, and who ha just........

 

 

[Captain]

...... opened the door of the 230 in the middle of a 6 G turn to the right, as he had been trained to do and as shown in the below photo.

 

 

 

"Andy's signs to me have never been too clear since the ducks bit him on the bum" said Bob the Assistance Dog (known to his mates at the park as BAD Bob). "So wake up Andy" (he borrowed that line from the Wiggles) and then added "Fly-right (AvRef), sit-up-straight, put your hands back on the controls, and .........

 

 

 

 

 

[bull]

Madge leave his "joystick " {avref} alone and wipe that .....................

 

 

[Captain]

..... smile off your face" said Ahlox on his way to the BOB this evening (see below photo taken just before the sun went down, showing Ahlox in his new Moderatti uniform.

 

"KAPOW" said ............

 

 

 

[Doug Evans]

Can't wait too get my new jet pack too go with this fantastic new suit ....

 

 

[turboplanner]

...............but MidgieDoug had petered out and was dancing round the room, scratching his back with his right hand scratching his balls with his left hand, and trying with each foot to scratch the other leg. "BASTARDS" he bawled as he attacked the little mites, but as fast as he crushed one, it's partner had bred three. Just then his friendly Real Estate agent called in to see how he was getting on in his new house..............

 

 

[Captain]

...............but MidgieDoug had petered out and was dancing round the room, scratching his back with his right hand scratching his balls with his left hand, and trying with each foot to scratch the other leg. "BASTARDS" he bawled as he attacked the little mites, but as fast as he crushed one, it's partner had bred three. Just then his friendly Real Estate agent called in to see how he was getting on in his new house..............

........ "How's ya new house, Midge, maaate?" asked Pippa Seneca (AvRefatLast), the fair-dinkum Estate Agent, who was a 1974 model with twin 360-KB DD's, a particularly fetching undercarriage, an empennage that is to die for, and the handling of a ..........

 

 

[turboplanner]

....freshly dropped goldie, but....

 

 

[Captain]

........ Pippa Seneca had one other redeeming feature which was much prized by the aviation community and particularly by WreckFlying forum members, and that was that she could .........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....wrap her undercarriage right up into her body, and rarely had an occasion where the green lights were off, but on one occasion..................

 

 

[Captain]

......... when Turbo took Pippa out for his usual raunchy & sexually tension charged night at the opera, followed by his standard after-party and coco at the Footscray CWA, Pippa volunteered to ...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

........sideslip down and accidentally fly under the Bolte Bridge, which Turbo had to account for in a report to CASA after a ridiculous resident of one of the nearby high-rises complained. CASA accepted his story without question when he said "Pippa did it".

 

It's quite opportune that the Rat should mention the Footscray CWA - a fertile hunting ground for Turbo in his younger days, but it spiked some other memories of when he used to have meetings at the Footscray RSL.

 

For Queenslanders and other unfortunates, in the days after WW1, Footscray was the Broadbeach of Melbourne in the days when there were Rabbit Barons, just as we have Mining Barons, and most of the residents had no teeth.

 

With funds from rabbiting, two up school donations, a silent donation from John Wren (a considerable sum) and fifty guineas from Archbishop Mannix, the town build a magnificent RSL with a magnificant Board Room, not unlike the British Houses of Parliament.

 

In this magnificent room, the Committee held their meetings.

 

As background to this, Turbo has researched to photo of the opening meeting and found two people from Wagga Wagga, NSW were present.

 

These were Captain Warwick Bracket, and Lance Corporal "Fangs" Lockett (who had no teeth).

 

We are all aware of the historic "March from Gilgandra" where a few started walking towards Sydney, and farmers joined in on the way, all going to enlist.

 

What is not generally known is that Bracket and Lockett from the two of Wagga Wagga volunteered to march, but were rejected, and this caused so much outrage that after the War the people of the Riverina spurned NSW and joined Victorian RSLs.

 

The first meeting was an unmitigated disaster.

 

At the head of the table was the President of the Footscray RSL, Corporal Amos Saylittle, a quietly spoken moderate who never chased women and always took some breadcrumbs away from the CWA suppers to feed God's feathered creatures.

 

At the foot of the table were Bracket and Lockett, and Turbine, whose father's horse Carbine had won the Melbourne Cup.

 

Along the sides of the table were two rows of ex Generals, Sergeant Majors, and a gathering of Colonel Blimps.

 

Active readers will almost know by this stage what's coming next.

 

The next few meetings were similar disasters, with the Correspondence segment usually running well into the night as various Colonels of the Blimp family explained their multi-page letters to the President complaining about the conduct of the last meeting, what the President might or might not have said, or if he did say it might or might not have meant, or if he didn't say it why he might have remained silent.

 

The mild mannered Corporal Saylittle was overpowered by the raucous calls from the Colonels; even when positive proof had been tabled at the meeting about something, one of the Blimps would assert something completely opposite at the next meeting.

 

The little Corporal may have had a mild voice but he was very cunning.

 

Without telling anyone, he called in an acoustic engineer, had the room re-paneled slightly, floor at the head of the table raised slightly, and a new President's chair made, with long legs, a lion's head carved at the top, and the arms carved with very obvious lion's foreleg's, paws and claws. The carving was done to the acoustic engineer's specification, and the result of these changes was a masterpiece.

 

At the next meeting, the Blimps of course didn't notice the changes, but when President Saylittle called the meeting to order, with a booming voice, and in the dim light, the appearance of a lion, the Colonel's took one look at the claws and behaved themselves from that time forward.

 

Even today, in the visitors lists, you can see the names of people from Wagga Wagga and the surrounding districts.

 

Knowing this history, after being told by his Grandfather, Turbine, Turbo decided to solve the problem of rowdy members by holding his meeting in this historic room.

 

Just to make sure, he placed the Sidecar Outfit group at the foot of the table; they supported Turbo because he had bought them ice creams for years, and when they arced up, not even God himself could shut them up.

 

And he got unanimous decisions for years, until................

 

 

[Captain]

...... he became occasionally verbose (NTTIAWWT) when submitting to the NES, and until ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....the day he found some very old documents dating from nearly a century ago headed "INCIDENT INVOLVING CAPTAIN BRACKET - PROPOSAL TO EXPEL HIM FROM HIS MAJESTIES (sic) LEAGUE" and going on to say...............

 

 

[Captain]

.....the day he found some very old documents dating from nearly a century ago headed "INCIDENT INVOLVING CAPTAIN BRACKET - PROPOSAL TO EXPEL HIM FROM HIS MAJESTIES (sic) LEAGUE" and going on to say...............

...... "Hear ye, hear ye, that anyone who uses the epithet "Captain" must be ye fair-dinkum dinky di dick-head (NTTIAWWT ................ & apologies to those fine members of WreckFlying Captain Solo, Captaincoop and CaptainLewis)" however back nearly that century ago, when Turbo was in high school, the .......