The Never Ending Story

[BigPete]

....why would you put petunias in a bowl - a vase makes much more sense. Anyway as he was only a guest at the Shepparton Aero Club he thought it might be better to keep this observation to himself and not upset the locals - if they wanted to put petunias in a bowl, who was he to upset the apple cart........

 

 

[Flyer]

but he'd forgotten to mention the plummetting sperm whale to the locals there at the Shepparton aero club so he didn't have to upset the apple cart as the sperm whale had just arrived on it.

 

Everybody rushed outside to find out what had caused the thud.

 

Can you imagine their amazement when willy the sperm whale looked up from the 20 foot crater he'd just created and said.....

 

 

[Guest Redair]

...abso-bloody-lutely nothing at all, because sperm whales can't talk! They can however sing, and broke straight into a rousing rendition of.... Whale meat again, don't know where, don't know when... but I know we'll...

 

 

[Captain]

..... dodge the Japanese whalers.

 

 

 

"There's only one thing worse than being harpooned by those bastards" said Willy. "And that is being locked up, and having to take part in a conversation with the protesters on the Steve Erwin", but then again it could even be worserer thought Willy, and that would be to .....

 

 

[eastmeg2]

. . . spend a night with Bronwyn Bishop. It's listed in the Hitchhikers Guide as amongst the foremost things that can happen to you that are worse than death.

 

The last thing to go through the mind of the bowl of petunias just before it hit the ground was . . .

 

 

[BigPete]

.....I wish we were in a vase, I'd die if someone saw us in a bowl.......

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

Luckily for the bowl of petunias it bounced on the sperm whales belly ricocheting over to where the smashed apple cart lay and promptly also smashed into several pieces, therefor obliterating the fact that it was earlier contained in a bowl and not a vase.

 

"Oh the humanity, oh the needless, senseless destruction.", thought Bronwyn as she carefully made her way through the debris and carnage wearing her best stilletos with her matching flying suit.

 

Meanwhile, birdbrain had managed to put his baby down, without Dr Harry's assistance, and as he taxied over to the terminal he saw several people waving at him. "I wonder what they want." he thought..........

 

 

[hihosland]

fearing that it might be his not existent ASIC card

 

 

[eastmeg2]

But in their utter disdain for excessive regulation nothing could be farther from the truth.

 

They were waving at him to get out of the way of the RPT about to taxy over the top of him while screaming abuse at him on the PAL frequency . . .

 

 

[Flyer]

sun had dissapeared and he was now NVFR.

 

This poses a problem as recreational aircraft aren't supposed to fly at night.

 

Furthermore, as he bounced the plane off the runway again, he mused to himself ' why am I dreaming of Bronwyn Bigjobs of Cactus Island, singing petunias in a bowl and falling sperm whales from some mysterious star trek adventure?" .....

 

 

[Admin]

along came the cigar smoking ex WW11 fighter pilot fresh from his adventures on Independence Day where he miraculously survived flying his jet into the deep dark dungeons of the alien spacecraft that was churning out whales and bowls of petunias. What was he to do to yet again save the world...was he going to...

 

 

[Methusala]

Say, "that's it!", throwing away the foul cigar and shrugging off the heavy leather jacket to reveal the chrysallis beneath. Sooo... in his board shorts and Rip Curl tee he saddled up the Drifter with his long ,flaxen locks streaming in his slipstream he...

 

 

[BigPete]

....called the "Clear Prop" shop and ordered 10 vases so that no poor petunia would ever have to bear the shame of wearing the wrong container again. While he was at the shop, birdbrain saves so much money , he was also able to buy.....

 

 

[Captain]

..... he was also able to buy.....

..... a container into which the sperm whale could give his sample, a picture of whales in various provocative poses, an autographed photo of Bronwyn in drag saying "Come up and see me some time", and a .....

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

.....and an original copy of the aforementioned vinyl recording of "Whale meat again, don't know where, don't know when" autographed by Vera Lynn herself.

 

Birdbrain was so pleased with himself, what with being so frugal and snaring all those bargains that he decided to treat himself to something else, something very special, something that he'd being longing for, for quite some time...........

 

 

[Flyer]

a special :heart: session with.... I cant say that here :ah_oh:...its X rated

 

 

[Captain]

...its X rated ....

Is that X-rating eating Hot X buns in Ian's tent at Natfly? Then visiting Slarti & Mick's aircraft displays, getting turned on by the CASA presentation, and then the biggest X of all, ......

 

 

[Captain]

.... the X-rated possibilities at our own Techman's presentation re the latest incarnation of the RAA Technical Manual, (but don't be too specific or our wives won't let us go), however don't forget the possibility that .....

 

 

[Flyer]

included in the technical manual would be the long running debate on will the plane fly?

 

This surely had caused the Techman many many nights if not weeks and months of sleepless nights fooling over something trivial..... "if only I could just get it to go away" he thought "Then....."

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

Then Techman had a brainwave......what if I get birdbrain to saddle up in his turbo-prop powered J160 and tow that sperm whale out of it's crater, climb to an altitude of about 1000 ft, or whatever altitude he can get to, and then release the sperm whale so that it lands on the conveyor belt. If he gets lucky he might take out Bronwyn BigJobs as well.

 

 

[wanabigaplane]

but he realized he was dreaming when rudely awaken by a phone call from his Richard Cranium mate (by association only) Jabiru Joe. "Hey, someone has stolen my airstrip. It was there in my paddock when I left it last night , but it is definitely gone now."

 

"Struggling with sober wake-up reality, Tony Techman said ".......

 

 

[hihosland]

"it were never an airstrip

 

it was always just a conveyor belt

 

and the mythbusters team have re possesed it

 

 

[Captain]

..... however the mob from Brainiac have made a higher offer, and the so called "Never Ending Story", which almost ended when everyone buggered off to Natfly, got a new lease of life, just like the Whale, and .....

 

 

[Bigglesworth]

decided it is time for some fresh authors. Bigglesworth took on the task in an effort to stop getting called too risky but ended up being called too risque'. This was due to the inclusion on the thought experiment involving an infinite improbability drive, and bunch of cheerleaders who work for OzStork. However, before anything could happen.........

 

 

[Captain]

..... Oz's stork needed Supplemax, the cheerleaders buggered off the seduce the whale (who had some) the details of which are both risky & risque, but the infinite improbability drive was progressed & patented thru ......