Captain Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Now, dear readers, your beloved Ratty must break in here to advise that Turdboy is a lovely bloke (despite what some other forum members might reckon) but as his closest friend I feel duty bound to tell you about his attempt to feel all warm, fuzzy and environmentally responsible through his foray into wind energy. "I'm gunna get into this feel-good wind energy ripoff caper" he pronounced and submitted his written application just at the time when Jules rolled Kevin 07. As a result, Turbs qualified for the Rudd subsidy and then also for the Gilly subsidy, plus that supercilious shiny headed bald bloke from Midnight Grease also sent him a couple of hundred grand to have Maison Turbo insulated, and to build a school shed out the back to cover Turdy's BBQ and Pizza Oven (if you ever go around to Turbo's joint for a knees-up, like I do each month, you will have a great time). As a result of all of this hard-earned Labor cash, Turbo made money from the original purchase and bought 50 of the latest and greatest wind turbines from some bloke named Kemlani. "I'm flush with funds so I'm gunna stick them in the back garden at Bange-IT-holme, however they stick out like canine testies on the top of the hill at Maison Turbo, so I have put them down on the creek out of the way where they'll only keep those koalas awake." said Tink proudly. Nobody from the Govt has been around to check it out, so the original cash is sweet, however Turbo is very disillusioned about how much 'lectricity they havn't generated. "I can't figure (NanaRef) it out" said Tink, so below is a photo of the installation looking to the south, with Carrum Downs on the hill in the background, (that part of Melbournistan is a jungle ..... and even worse than Dandef'nNong) and with the rows and rows & rows of Turbo's Turbines just behind that bend in the creek beyond where Tink's AA5B is on final to land on the turbine access road known locally & on Garmin GPS's as "Tricky Turdboy's Trunk Track & Airstrip". "Can anyone work out why they won't deliver the promised profits?" asked Turbs.
Captain Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 " ....."I believe these devices will be unsafe unless there is a manned control tower to....." ........ bungee off (see below pic of Turbo's bungee tower located down near the wind turbines where the creek is at its widest). Note Turbo's private coffee shop and Corvette merchandising stand at bottom left of the bungee tower, where they also sell kits to clean your undies after bungeeing. "Wow f'n Wee" said Andy "Turbo must have a quid". "Now, I don't want to boast" replied Turdboy "But .............
turboplanner Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 "......I bought some shares which had been reckon mended to me by a local aircraft builder, who ....................."
Guest Andys@coffs Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Happened, as merely luck would have it, to have some he was thinking of selling. Jabirooter throughbolts inc had shown remarkable past performance and there was nothing to indicate that the future would be any different.....Tink had the dividends in mind when he looked at....
Captain Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 ..... an alternative manufacturer of exhaust valves. This is a matter that Tink knew quite a bit about, as his own personal exhaust valve had been playing up over recent years and was showing signs of ............
Captain Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 ..... failing a leak-down test whenever he takes a leak. "Not to worry" said Turbo as he cleaned up after himself "It's just a ..............
Guest Andys@coffs Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Burnt valve syndrome, which is something related to methane, significant alcohol consumption, and is usually prefaced by "hold my beer, and watch while I......."
Captain Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Burnt valve syndrome, which is something related to methane, significant alcohol consumption, and is usually prefaced by "hold my beer, and watch while I......." ...... light this. But to do it after a Thai feed in the main lounge at the Australia Club was just too much, even with Turbo's elevated membership status and .......
turboplanner Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 ........as punishment he was made to do it again just for the staff, as a Food Standard exercise to show them just how much gas their food produced, and how it could be a hazard in the workplace if someone walked past you with a blowtorch or.......
Captain Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 ........... flames coming from the broken exhaust on a 912. "That's a thought, where I can get kudos, some cash, and a promotion" said the CASA inspector (and raincoat wearer) "I'll require retraining of all pilots, I'll bring in a new 2-day Course called "Human Flatulence" (I'll invent a new buzz-word like "Get-it-out-there-&-light-it-itis" which will be about as meaningful as that "Human Factors" & "Get-Home-It is" garbage), I'll write & publish the text book, and I'll legislate to prevent the breaking of wind in all recreational aircraft (AvRef) powered by a 'tax ...... and then we'll ........... Ma tante just noticed that it will just be 14 more posts to 10,000 (.......... or 10,000 as it is pronounced in French).
Captain Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 NEWS ....... NEWS .......... NEWS Turbo is c*ck-a-hoop (NTTIAWWT) at the moment because Corvette's C7R won the GTE Pro at Le mans and that will double the value of Tink's 'Vette. But I suggest that you all spray Glen 50 on those hoops before using them again.
turboplanner Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 But the modest and shy Turbo had been keeping that outstanding and well deserved success (it's only taken since 1963) quiet, so as not to bring on a flatulent tirade from Auction, about boating. He also had had a bad experience recently when stopped, with the top down, at a set of lights in the City. A hot blonde had leaned over and said "NICE!" Turbo smiled back until he realised she was talking about the car, and......
Captain Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 ...... thankfully had not seen what he had undone and taken out of his ............
Captain Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 ....... impress his partner (CivilUnionRef - NTTIAWWT) and said "Hey, Jules, chuck a few hoops over this, and then we'll ............ TURBO'S 'VETTE ON THE WAY TO LUNCH IN LYGON ST ON A TYPICAL SUNDAY IN MELBOURNISTAN. AND TURBO IN LYGON ST AFTER A CROOK OYSTER. AND THE RESTAURANT AFTER TURBO'S LATEST FLATULANCE OUTBREAK. "THOSE OUTDOOR GAS HEATERS ARE DANGEROUS FOR BLOKES WITH A BIT OF WIND" HE IS QUOTED AS SAYING.
turboplanner Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 before he took off at a run and didn't stop until Shepparton, where everyone knows........
Captain Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 ..... that Tony Mockbel hid out for 3 years while working in the local boutique and bikini shop, a yellow 'Vette does not stand out, and Turbo could undertake that 2 axis course (AvRef ..... but some might just say TrikeRef) that he always wanted ..........
turboplanner Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 ..... to, so he could pull it out of a tumble (trikeref), fly under the trees at caravan parks (trikref), fly under the powerlines he could see (trikeref), and land in the dark with his spotlight, then......
Captain Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 ........ try not to add disproportionately to the RAA fatality stats (FatalityStatsRef) (OtherPostAbout1aMonthwhichismorethanTinkgetsRef). "I'll give ya fatality stats" said Tone after he sold another possum skin bikini. "Didn't youze see the middle picy in my mate Mr Rat's post # 9991. (WhyYouDirtyRatJamesCagnyRef)" "Calm-a down-a Tone, maaate. I made-a that bikini." said Turbo proudly doing his best Tony Soprano impersonation while reaching for his RAA & CASA certified "(Alleged) Gangster Sub-human Factors" text book, course notes and ........... The pen of my aunt is getting twitchy out in the garden, as she just noticed that the NES is on page 500 with just 5 posts to go to 10,000. She expects Eeeeeeen or AhPox to probably jump in and steal all the glory.
turboplanner Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 .........ita made from finest possum skin, ana covers more then you thinka it does. If you.......
Captain Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 ..... cut 2 holes in the crutch area you can use it as a balaclava. "That's a beauty maaate" replied Tone while he used the scissors with great skill (PilotRef) and put on the 2-holer modified version of Tubb's top seller deluxe lined bikini bottom "Hands-a up-a maaaaate and give us the key to your ............. AHLOX MODELLING THE DELUXE VERSION POSSUM SKIN BIKINI ABOUT 30 SECONDS BEFORE TONE WHIPPED OFF THE BOTTOM AND CUT THE EYEHOLES OUT.
Captain Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 And here is a picy of Tone in Greece, wearing one of Turbo's possum skin rugs. .................................................................................... You can have post # 10,000, Tink.
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