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The Never Ending Story


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......... viewfinder of his GoPro.

 

 

 

"What's that?" asked Andy "Surely that bloke in the black habit shouldn't be making a habit of doing that which I limit to geese? I sense a visit to the Royal Commission coming on".

 

 

 

So Andy banked to the right and almost passed out with the extreme trike induced g-forces. "Gee those g-forces tickle my g-spot" commented Andy as he touched his .................

 

 

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..........bar at a 20 degree angle, throwing the trike into a normal left turn, which also required the left hand to be held out to provide drag in the slipstream, whereupon three geese jumped ship, figuring they were better flyers than Andy. This caused the ......

 

 

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....purchase of the beautiful 230, the choice of the rich and famous (aka as bull's enemies).

 

"In the 'J'" said Andy with that smug look of those who made money in rocket science, "I don't have to fly under the trees, and I can get to 10,000 in under half a day, and I find I'm accepted in the Clubhouse."

 

"Those ga @$#%& won't even let me take my shoes off" whined bullet, and.............

 

 

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.... they really don't like it when you cut your toenails in the aircraft either."

 

 

 

"That's hardly fair" said the bloke who owns the other Jack-a-cricket, then he added "Tubes rule, dude."

 

 

 

bullbous considered this and replied "And rags ..............

 

 

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are what i will wrap my shiny new ga thingy ticket ,said bull as i polish it all over ,why did you get one of them bully,,, cried pandy,Because i,m still fit enough and turdy said i needed one to go to the..................

 

 

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.... the top of the RAA pecking order.

 

"I don't understand why you all don't just get along" said Ben Tley. "You all have the same basic interests and who cares if you fly a plastic thingy, one of those RV beer cans, or one made from rags and tubes? Why, chaps, I even know someone who was considering purchasing a Tyrone-Jack-a Cricket, although he rebadged it as an Algenon-Jaques-eu-Grillon and fitted it with a cravat, but in the end ......... who really cares? Take me as an example, I get on well with Alf Romeo, Cory Vette, Aston Martin is a real sweatie, although that plick Nissan GT-R is starting to give me the irits in the World Endurance Championship ............ but as I often say to my Mexican and Palestinian servants, why can't youze bastards all just get along?"

 

bull was flabbergasted as he hadn't thought about it that way, so he went to the Library of F'n Q in Blackwater intending to read up on the subject, but instead he just snapped and responded " ...............

 

 

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........ "Ben is right, we ARE all the same." postulated bull "If you prick me do I not get cranky and report you to Eeeeeen, we all obey the 12th law of thermodynamics, we all fly behind engines that stop more than they should, we all have wings, we all break (the) wind & we all wear gold lame jump suits with puce epaulettes, pink longjohns & fluffy slippers when we fly. The only difference is that I get there 5 days later, but I have 5 days more fun on each X-country, I get to meet many more service station owners and I get to count the ............

 

 

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........but there was no answer. Bull had sold up his grass roots machine and walked away, saying only that he was going to the NES, where as we know, the aka's hang out. There's Ratso, who built an aka, Salty who not only flies akas, but recently was in the news flying a Spitfire, and Hatso who flies an aka. "He'll be in good company" said Turbo, "we've all forgotten the insults and........................"

 

 

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........but there was no answer. Bull had sold up his grass roots machine and walked away, saying only that he was going to the NES, where as we know, the aka's hang out. There's Ratso, who built an aka, Salty who not only flies akas, but recently was in the news flying a Spitfire, and Hatso who flies an aka. "He'll be in good company" said Turbo, "we've all forgotten the insults and........................"

......... are prepared to also forget about where he comes from and his previous somewhat weird flying proclivities. Why, we are even prepared to almost treat him like one of us."

 

 

 

"I'm not so sure about that, Tubby, old mate" said Salty when they met for some gnocchi and port for brekky this morning "As he is sure to winge like a stuck pig, just like all f'n Q f'ers do about how cold the weather is down here, how there are no brahman calves to cuddle, how the airspace is so cluttered, and ...............

 

 

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Guest Andys@coffs

how careless those southerners can be given that they don't have to contend with Croc's, taipans, jellyfishes, and the odd constriction by boa.......Yeah said Turdy all we've got down here are those woosie but somewhat cranky brown snakes and death adders...I mean what possible harm could something called a death adder do whinged Bull...Why just the other days as I was out on my fishing boat I...........

 

 

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.... was off the Mourning&CryingALittle-ton Peninsular and saw a Great White, but we wasn't so great and wasn't even white, plus the Blue Ringed Occy is a just a tiny little tacker that we from f'n Q would just call a f'n entre, or a f'n ............

 

 

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Guest Andys@coffs

thing for kids on the beach to play with noting that we tell every kid that everything on the beach has the potential to kill you....except the waves...cause there aren't any.......but those littlies still love the beach!....

 

"Why do they call then Great Whites then if there not white?" asked Salty?

 

Rat was quick to jump in "Back in the day when we were still coming up with names for things we weren't so accommodating with those not of European descent! and as a great white is something that can be dangerous and is something that we must keep our eye on it was clearly white in nature, if not colour!"

 

Salty considered and asked "So given that we are much more inclusive these days should they be renamed and perhaps recognised in our constitution?"

 

And that dear reader was an absolute conversation killer....there were looks of absolutely no idea and pain across the gathered NES throng before there was a light bulb moment and.......

 

 

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...... when Billy Shorten-Out, who was looking for a cute & cuddly angle at the moment suggested "Perhaps I could say "Sorry" to the Great Whites, then give them a few hundred million $ and ......

 

 

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Guest Andys@coffs

perhaps like places named after stuff that you cant wait to wash off after mucking around with engine bays you could decide to have a quick family referendum to determine if you want to continue paying off your debts or simply tell the total banker that he should go and get close and personal with a croc

 

What a top idea said Bull....bloody repayments are getting in the way of me trading up to the latest Cirrus SR....where upon I too could look down on......

 

 

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.........those rag and bone (pc avref which covers tube and wood) maniacs that fly through..............

Curses, Andy gazumped my post ............

 

 

 

..... hail and sleet and snow, because they are brave and dedicated souls who never ever give up.

 

 

 

"This obviously needs a new chapter in the Inhuman Factors course because we now need to warn all pilots about flying in hail and snow and sleet and we need to do something legislative about using bones to make a basic aircraft. Soon we'll be killing whales again to get whalebone for other than Turbo's corsets."

 

 

 

"I can suppry all of the whales and bones that yez want" said Nobu in his latest brog. "And that will allow yez to .........

 

 

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Guest Andys@coffs

put a spine in youse little machine!

 

Andy meanwhile had been thinking on Rats suggestion as to being sorry and providing those who can least manage it more $ than they can reasonably be expected to safely control and had come to an understanding of what needed to be done! Just prior to the upcoming bored elections!

 

We in RAAus have the rag, tube and no money crew, and all others who are clearly against the afore mentioned, because if they weren't against they would have said sorry and provided the aforementioned mega dollars in an attempt to make them go away!

 

We need a reconciliation day, where all fliers whether poor and dressed in Rags, or richer and clad in fiberglass can all walk together with the Great whites, the average greys and the really gaudily dressed samesexuals across the Sydney harbour bridge, dodging the Sydney traffic known to be a bit heavy for 22 out of 24hrs each day. Our Board can get up, one at a time and speak (Well some of them can speak, others just attend) about how the magazine in paper form was destined for greater things than RAAus and how Rag and Tubes despite no one wanting them, will become mandated for all........... We will be on national TV as the police round us all up and....

 

 

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......we could even hire Kevin at his going rate ($45.00 per event) to declare a National Sorry Day, and invite all aviators for the good of the sport. This could be problematic because................

 

 

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Not one of those rag and tuby thingys would make it by then {as the headwinds where too strong and they went back in time }Holy tolebo cried bully as looking up a vast armarda of brightly coloured wings and things came forth across the sky ,why i must be dreaming cried ,bull {but it might have something to do with the mushys that he picked earlier today for breaky said arhlocks} as they where all white plastic thingys going to the big bird with white wings reunion, What the jabykanga through bolt gathering that i read about said turdy.No thats next week said pandy it the..........

 

 

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Not one of those rag and tuby thingys would make it by then {as the headwinds where too strong and they went back in time }Holy tolebo cried bully as looking up a vast armarda of brightly coloured wings and things came forth across the sky ,why i must be dreaming cried ,bull {but it might have something to do with the mushys that he picked earlier today for breaky said arhlocks} as they where all white plastic thingys going to the big bird with white wings reunion, What the jabykanga through bolt gathering that i read about said turdy.No thats next week said pandy "It will ..........

...... possibly result in the biggest aviation rally the country has ever seen. By "biggest" I mean the largest rally area, what with Jabs landing at most strips on the way to do a quick valve grind or replace a prop flange or torque up thru-bolt # 7."

 

 

 

"Aporogies for butting in again" said Nobu. "But I just want to let youze honourable NES cobbers know that I have alanged for my cuntly to have a "NATIONAL SOLLY DAY". The government and the Empolor have agreed to it. However the only issue now is that the number of countries that we need to say solly to is bigger than the ...........

 

 

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jabykanga gathering last year{which had the largest flyin spread of all time said arhlocks}Yeh said turdy i heard they had jabykangas at every airport for 1100 ,miles ,all looking sad with oil stains along the plastic,WE be velly sorry for that ,said Sir Nobu those flew bolts flom jappan were relly made in chinna cluase velly cheep. Oh vell back to the solly day ve still havent said solly about the latsun 180b to australly yet but......

 

 

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..... why the stuff is Sir Nobu speaking with a mix of German and Japanese accents?" asked Tink, who knew his accents and inflections from his times running his Old Bag Ops over the past 60 years. "Why" he added "I also ...........

 

 

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was velly good with his french ,but the mods said no to any posting of that, so after much thought turdy said..........

 

 

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