Guest Andys@coffs Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 nothing....we are still waiting for the much thought to complete.....We expect that Tink, who while capable of drifting a vette sideways, is not into mental gymnastics, and...apparently is a male to boot, should have the French/German/Japanese thought complete as soon as his brain has stopped processing W@B arguments as they relate to swings and friendly ghosts...... "Why is he so locked down with W&B" asked Rat It seems that Casper, advertised, perhaps falsely, as being friendly, in fact has gone for Tinks jugular while calling his credentials, as someone capable of balanced logical thought, into doubt, and suggesting that there might be a problem with his Y chromosome as it apparently is distinctly X shaped! Of course all this sent Tink into a Tizz (which older RAAus members would know to be an alcoholic stupor associated with senior roles) and he has been absent from all/some/none of the NES discussions today while he plots his revenge/comeback....... Here you can see Tink has garaged the Vette and pulled out the everfaithful anti Kasper car.....However if you look closely you can see that Mrs Tink is looking a bit greenish and unwell...Clearly the thought of a personal vendetta is worrying her..... You can also note that while Tink claims to be from Bang it Holm which as most readers would understand is a part of the underprivileged state of Mexatoria, the Anti Kasper car is clearly registered in NSW, probably to enable Tink to unobtrusively close in on Armidale, the haunt of one very unfriendly ghost! Mexatorian cars in NSW cant do anything unobtrusively.
turboplanner Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 Turbo has been caught out. Ratso had come to see his ghost buster conversion, after expressing an interest in building up a car kit. That's actually him in the driver's seat after a lunch of Turbo's Possum Roulade. "We had an interesting afternoon" said Ratso "..............................."
bull Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 why we even saw a real ultralight aircraft in the hollilocks museum,Tink walked over to it and said ,my god those rag and tuby fliers sure are a real tough lot to risk flying in that why it,s........
Captain Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 why we even saw a real ultralight aircraft in the hollilocks museum,Tink walked over to it and said ,my god those rag and tuby fliers sure are a real tough lot to risk flying in that why it's........ ....... a shopping trolly covered in what looks like coloured dunny paper painted with dope by some dope." TinkyWinks, who has a broard understanding of all RAA aircraft & who was one of the few on the forum who could put forward a balanced view, said "The angle of the dangle and the pucker of the dingle is all related to how they are hang'n in all wait shift aircraft. And by the use of the terms "wait" and "shift" I mean that all 2 axis pilots (sic) wear shifts when within a consenting clubhouse and have to "wait" a long time to get anywhere when on a X-dressing X-Country." bull, who was one of WimpyTinks closest friends, was surprised by this description as he had always .......... AhLox modelling one of the most popular shifts amongst the wait shift pilots, and it looks flash with gold epaulettes added, as marketed on cbay by HugeEeeeeen.
Bryon Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 It was at this point that an unposing figure from Taswegia waded (NauticalRef) into the discussion "How dare you reveal my outfit for the BoB B&S Ball" he wailed "Now I will have trouble attracting a suitable........
Captain Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 It was at this point that an unposing figure from Taswegia waded (NauticalRef) into the discussion"How dare you reveal my outfit for the BoB B&S Ball" he wailed "Now I will have trouble attracting a suitable........ ........... member of the opposite sex." "What means "opposite sex"?" asked AhLox ............................................ "And in addition, what is this "sex" word that some people use?". "I know" said bull "It is .............
turboplanner Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 "......a big brass musical instrument that you don't see too often these days." "They disappeared like the rags and tubes with plastic seats" replied ............. The last of the R&Ts, which after an hour's low flying and a beatup of the Holbrook Football Club, tried to land in the main street.
Captain Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 "......a big brass musical instrument that you don't see too often these days.""They disappeared like the rags and tubes with plastic seats" replied ............. .......... a regretful bull as he considered Tink's photo of the sad ending of the Tyro-Bickley-a-Cockroach (beware a new Human Factors chapter and compulsory day-seminar on the dangers of blue and white buildings), but it was just a fact that those big brass musical instruments created windage that was a tad excessive for Wrag & Tubers ..... and upset the W&B calculations of trikes. "Anyone who plays a tuba while flying a Wrag and Tuber must be a wanka" commented AhLox casually while sitting at the bar of the Blue Otster trying to unlock the till as the next night's band did a sound check. "WOW" added PoxyLox as the band got out their contrabass (see below picy) "But surely you can't play it with that end, as someone will need to put their mouth on it in future." "This isn't a mouthpiece" replied Andy, the band leader, "This is a ................
turboplanner Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 "Gascolator, you play it with gas." "Where do you get the gas?" asked Dazzle who'd been very lenient on his spell checks lately. Andy just smiled indulgently and said ".............
Captain Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 "Gascolator, you play it with gas.""Where do you get the gas?" asked Dazzle who'd been very lenient on his spell checks lately. Andy just smiled indulgently and said "............. ..... "Don't you worry about that Dazzler" said Andy with his usual confident charm "As I have this hat, see, and what I do is apply my Nan's pressure cooker lid and a touch of ..............
Bryon Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 ..... "Don't you worry about that Dazzler" said Andy with his usual confident charm "As I have this hat, see, and what I do is apply my Nan's pressure cooker lid and a touch of .............. ...methane extracted from Madge's nether regions whilst he is trying to balance his weight on one cheek so he can .........
turboplanner Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 ....counter his one wing low flying habit." "Speaking of Wun Wing Lo", said Turbo, "I'm thrilled at today's news about possum coming on the the menus in restaurants. Anyone who has been to Stephano's in Mildura knows it's one of the world's best eateries, and if Stephano gives it his blessing, my proposed chain of Just Possum restaurants will be booming within three years." "How much does.......................?"
Captain Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 ....counter his one wing low flying habit.""Speaking of Wun Wing Lo", said Turbo, "I'm thrilled at today's news about possum coming on the the menus in restaurants. Anyone who has been to Stephano's in Mildura knows it's one of the world's best eateries, and if Stephano gives it his blessing, my proposed chain of Just Possum restaurants will be booming within three years." "How much does.......................?" .......... the possum supply support, by way of restaurants, as I know that Lord Byron has a chain of McPossums planned for the Dandenong region, while Ratty is going for the Michelin Stars end of the market in his "Playing Possum" exclusive dining joint on Wirradjury Hill (where his signature dish is fricasseed possum with an echidna jus), AhLox is catering to his Dame Edna, locksmiff and bondage proclivities through his "Cute Little Possum's Locks and Chains" stores, bull through his ever so subtle olde worlde store in Bone titled "Do yez feele like a bit of Possume on ya Forke .... eh?" and even the ever so conservative Eeeeeee had rebadged the ClearProp Shoppe as ...................
turboplanner Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 ...........Possums for Aviators, with stories of how possums are great helpers around the hangars........
Captain Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 ...........Possums for Aviators, with stories of how possums are great helpers around the hangars........ .......... and a special offer of a signed ASI Clock in the shape of a possum, facing away, with its ...........
turboplanner Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 ....digital display in neon. A spin off from that is a ..............
Captain Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 ....digital display in neon. A spin off from that is a .............. ......... large coloured & LED lit Top made out of a Koala's nose that has been ............ A Koala waiting patiently at the abattoir to be made into various products for Eeeeen's "Possums for Aviators" Shop
turboplanner Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 .......made from white LED lights snitched from truckies as they sleep by Gastro, who at one time used to steal hubcaps off cars, but was put out of business by the mag wheel. He'd thought about taking the whole wheel, but could never work out how to use a jack. These days he tells us he flies a....................
Captain Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 .......made from white LED lights snitched from truckies as they sleep by Gastro, who at one time used to steal hubcaps off cars, but was put out of business by the mag wheel. He'd thought about taking the whole wheel, but could never work out how to use a jack. These days he tells us he flies a.................... ....... kite on WreckFrying every couple of weeks, just to wind up Turbo and to then take the Micky out of him. "Don't blame me for that" commented Michael "As I have never had such a relationship with Turdboy, although I do enjoy long conversations with him about Recreational Rule Changes, the 3 rd theory of pendular behaviour, whether Freightliners are better than Sterlings, whether Ahlox is the best Moderator or whether Ahlox has buggered off (NTTIAWWT) from WreckFrying and may never be seen again on the NES, and ............... TURBO'S 5 TH THEORY OF PENDULAR MOMENTUM leading to his conclusion that Wait/Shift aircraft will never be able to fly about 6ft AMSL, and for which he has received some stick.
turboplanner Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 .........is sitting in his fire truck waiting for...........
turboplanner Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Not many people would recognise this, but Ratso's force diagramme actually came from the American Civil War. Turbo's great great grandfather, General Norman Ulysses Charlston Turbine who spent much of the war doing black bag ops, which is why his name is not well known, was a brilliant designer who came up with the original Cruise Missile design. The Confederates, under Captain Festus Ratburgger were gaining ground, at the battle of Rat Pass, and General Turbine decided to use rockets to obliterate the confederates who were trapped like rats in the narrow Pass. He needed a guidance system though, and came up with the brilliant idea of strapping a soldier to the rocket. So, not only could the soldier observe the battle layout, but could drop a note to the troops below, then steer the rocket, using the General's cable and foot pedal system attached to the vanes. When the rocket was pointed at the best target, the "pilot" (earliest avref Gen. N.U.C Turb. A, Civ War) would pull a cord and the "parachute" (avref, see previous) would rip him into the air out of harm's way, dropping him to the ground as gently as a feather. Corporal Arthur Horatio Loxoff was chosen for the pilot's job. Loxoff was to act as a Pathfinder (avref: Cpl A.H.Lo, Battle Rat P. 1863, WW2 RAF term taken from Battle of Rat P.) and when his parachute was seen, two hundred rockets were to be simultaneously launched. Preparations were completed at twilight when General Norman Ulysses Charlston Turbine, know to the troops as "UC" reverently wrapped the first cruise missile in history with the flag of the United States of America. The attack was to be at dawn. Just on dawn the General gave Corporal Loxoff a pat and said, referring to his diagramme, "May the Force be with you, or you'll finish up in Sh!tters Ditch!" This statement has been misquoted in films in later years. General Norman Turbine turned to his troops and yelled "We're gonna give them SHOCK and AWE" The force design worked, the Corporal set the rocket perfectly, and Ratburgger's troops were, well Ratburgers. Some time later, a song was written about the event: "Oh see Old U.C. by the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming, Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous flight, O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets' red glare, Ahlo flew through the air Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there; O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave, O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? Corporal Loxoff unfortunately landing in a chicken pen where............
Captain Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 .........is sitting in his fire truck waiting for........... ...... someone to come along and unlock it. "What's wrong with that?" aksed Ahlow as he finished reading his latest edition of "The Sporty Pilot", which is the aviation equivalent of that well known centrefold magazine "Women's Health and Sex Tips". "Whoooooorh" added Ahlo as he considered a rather suggestive foldout of the latest Sports Szar, and he ...............
turboplanner Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 ....contemplated those dreamy days when he used to go out to the Wagga Wagga International Airport and count the rivets on his pride and joy - never flew it, because he either lost count and had to start again, or found three or four missing. Then............
Captain Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 ...... Corporal Loxoff unfortunately landing in a chicken pen where............ ......... he was given a peck ......... on the cheek .......... being the same cheek that was so scarred when the ducks caught Andy. Andy and Loxie retired to the drawing room with Scarlet, 3 mint juleps & a vial of a well known date-rape drug, to compare scars and to see if she had any needs. In the meantime Scarlet considered which of them was the least vile and on whom she would use her vial. At almost that same time, General Norman Ulysses Charlston Turbine was replaced by Major General Abraham Roots Eaton-Lysholm Supercharger, which resulted in reduced lag in his ..............
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