turboplanner Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 STOP PRESS BIG MIDGE IN TROUBLE - Rat flees with funds of pensioners, old ladies and little children Residents of Midge Points were shocked today to hear that one of the board members had run off with the funds required to seed finance for the Big Midge, and appears to have persuaded Arabs to build it in Coughs. Astute financier, Turbo, said "it was a sixth sense; I pulled my money out, and have negotiated a new package with Mr Rat, at a much more favourable price" A spokesperson for Mr Rat said: "The move has three significant points: 1. There are no midges in Coughs to bite the living daylights out of us. 2. It will be built in a quarter of the time in NSW 3. We won't have to put up with the whining of The f'n'crew" When the spokesperson was asked about the pensioners' money, she replied "f..............................................." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 STOP PRESS BIG MIDGE IN TROUBLE - When the spokesperson was asked about the pensioners' money, she replied "f..............................................." ....'em. But then, after a series of pubic meetings chaired by the 100% independent AhLox, and a secret chinese line of cledit was identified (from Ahlox's best mate at the Doo Duck Inn & Summer Palace in Thoopara), Ratt Corporation Pty Ltd issued the following Product Disclosure Statement ............... STOP PRESS SUBSCRIPT & HEADLINE FROM "THE MIDGE POINT CHRONICLE"- F'ALL KNOWN ABOUT BIG MIDGE PROBLEMS IN F'N Q. THIS PICY SHOWS ONE OF THE PUBIC MEETINGS OF BIG MIDGE SHAREHOLDERS AT LAGUNA QUAYS JUST NORTH OF MIDGE POINT AND A LITTLE WEST OF SANDFLY HARBOUR. AHLOX IS THE BLOKE WITH THE GLASSES, GREY BEARD AND WHITE HAT AT LOWER CENTRE ABOUT TO POUND HIS GAVEL TO COMMENCE THE DICUSSION. (AHLOX POUNDS HIS MORE THAN ALMOST ALL THE WRECKFLYING MEMBERS ............... AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 as the people of of coughs have now started a counter protest along the lines of,,,,ABIG MIDGE IN COUGH<S,,Well,,, said their spokesperson {elrato,s exwife] We ll, for starters we have no midges here ,and the BIG DOLPHIN group have said that they will address parliment on this issue,so a big MIDGE here is not welcome. and.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 ...... there is an offer on the table at Coughs&Splutters that we can make use of the Big Banana as a ski tube on the Big Midge's .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 probiscus ,Now the Laguna keys protest group have jumped up and said ,,Hey ,you dont need to build new airstrips here ,we can use the 150 acres of levelled and cleared land from the failed midge point international airport here at the keys. But said ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 But once again Turbo had out thought the little Rat, having been at school with "flogger" lox. Loxie opened the meeting, then closed it before anyone could move a motion, so...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 MODS please take note that turbo has once again broken the entry rules of the NES by not continuing the story line.cheers......,,Now back to the story............but said,that would be on condition that Ahlox would............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 MODS please take note that turbo has once again broken the entry rules of the NES by not continuing the story line.cheers......,,Now back to the story............but said,that would be on condition that Ahlox would............ ........ abstain for at least one day (a big ask) while a peer review is carried out on the design of the "BIG MIDGE" and while legal & title checks are made on the 150 acres that was destined for Midge Point International (or YMIP as it had been preliminarily designated). The investigation will centre on (1) how bull was able to obtain committments for 200 slots (NTTIAWWT) a week each from Afghanistan Air and Mid-China Airlines, (2) how he had developed that canal to bring cruise ships into the wharf & ferry terminal right in the centre of Midge Point, (3) whether that land was cleared and levelled legally, and those approvals are hard to envisage when that land was World Heritage listed and had previously been covered with a huge grove of Angle-stemmed Myrtles (which bull knows better as the Gossia Gonoclada) and contained the last remaining population (it was actually a cute little extended family group) of Bridled Nailtail Wallabies. "I think we are in the poo" said Tink. "No wuckers, maate, eh." replied bull "We'll do this the f'n f'nQ way, as I have a few mates in the Midge Point Regional & City Council and I'll arrange for some retrospective approvals, plus I'll flick a few shekels to some mates in the CFMEU and all will be sweet." "I know that those Bridled Nailtail Wallabies were useless and only tasted like stale chicken, and that Myrtle tasted terrible in a Crepe, but I don't know whether ............ THE MIDGE POINT CANAL AND FERRY TERMINAL IN THE MIDDLE DISTANCE, JUST WAITING FOR THE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT & "BIG MIDGE" TO BE COMPLETED. A SMALL PORTION OF BULL'S HOARD OF SHEKELS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 All good ,cried Bull she,s apples the council has now approved a 70 story tower too so you can now chuck in that couple of billion you made on the big dolphin rip off last year turbo....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Turbo ,s new design has the latest simulater design that tilts the whole building so that passengers can enjoy the banking and twisting of........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Turbo ,s new design has the latest simulater design that tilts the whole building so that passengers can enjoy the banking and twisting of........ ...... "Dats a typ of-a Tooorbine, as he pinch-a my design-a" yelled Tommy Pisano who is still kicking after 750 years and had migrated in 1370 to pioneer cane farming in Ingham. "Is-a no wonder that-a the wait and sheeft & HGFA guys theenk he is-a dick ......... eh?". "Where's ya patent, Maate?" asked Turbo, following proven legal principals. "Patent schmatent, maaaate .... eh" responded Tommy the architect "I speeek-a with the authority of Mr Beretta 9 mm, eh, and ............. HERE IS A PHOTO TAKEN IN 1770 OF TOMMY GIVING JIMMY COOK THE ITALIAN SLUTE AS HE SAILED UP THE HINCHENBROOK CHANNEL, PAST INGHAM ........... AND REPEATED THAT SALUTE TO TOOOORABINE 245 YEARS LATER WHEN THE LEANING TOWER DESIGN CONTROVERSY BROKE. (A SALUTE NOW WIDELY ADOPTED BY THE WAIT/SHIFT COMMUNITY WHEN DISCUSSING WEIGHT AND BALANCE WITH OUR BELOVED TINK.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 And the state government are investigating Turbo,s design of the BIG DOLPHINtourist rides after several failed the .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 ...... Bronny Bishop "sniff test". "I couldn't land me chopper there without having to walk 20 metres" she added, "And Turbo .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 was silent on this issue of investigation ie the sniff test,,Whats that cried Sir Nobu has he $#@ his pants again or........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 ....... is Andy ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 cleaning out the jab after his last flight ,,bit of brown stuff in there from when the through bolt went through the................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 ..... wringer. Meanwhile Turbine III Esq had gone missing (a bit like our dear Loxie at the moment) and he appears to be on the run following bull's expose of his Leaning Tower of Pisa con (which was a pissa of a concept) and his attempted Big Dolphin fraud, as have both been picked up for national publicity by Four Corners and Bananas in JimJams. "Turdy is pubic enemy # 4, 786 X 10 to the third power" said the head of cyber-crime at the Midgeville CIB and he is considered dangerous ...... if you get near his wheezy cough, but ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 ....we know where to find him!" "Pig's Arxx!" said Turbo who was staying with John Elliott at his shack on the Murray where he is growing Quandogs for the Chinese market, and had asked Turbo to provide some marketing advice. [Readers, don't tell Midgeville where he's staying - MOD] "Once I've finished that I'm off the help Loxie produce 'The Sound of Music' at the BoB" where we'll have the lovely Kaz singing "the heels are alive, with the sound of music" as she runs across the op of The Rock, which we will be painting write to imitate snow" he said. "Flying Vicious will be Liesel, Een will be Captain Von Trapp and andy will be the littlest boy. Ratso gets a set of pigtails and plays one of the girls which should be easy for him, since................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 ......... he already has a parasol and had always wanted the part of Baroness Elsa Schraeder (who has a real nice part), as he has spent all his life studying girls (although at the moment he defines "girl" as any female lady person under 65), although he does not have any of the pictures so often studied by ............ Ratty has to this day always thought that a Paedophile was a nail file that they use when you have a pedicure and Ratty's Aunt can attest that Ratty ain't one. "We are a VERY close family" she said with a gleam in her eye, then added "Ratty is definitely AC." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 sign language as he used his hands all the time ,{sometimes only one shhhh} so Elrato had ratted on Turdy who was last seen escaping from the murray in a stolen lear jet{it was Barnesy,s he was on the piss at a winery nearby and had landed on the road]and the Midge point CIB where in hot pursuit in the v8 jab borrowed from Pauline Hanson as she was on the piss with barnsy and had also landed on the road,Ok said inspector Lox how do you load this 50 cal thingy,,,???Here i,ll show you how said.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 ....... turbo "And please make special note that for safety's sake, you need to be looking into the end of this round barrel thingy with the hole in the middle when you push the trigger." as he quickly moved out of the blood splatter area. Then Turbine III considered his predicament and said "I am concerned for my previously unblemished reputation and am worried about bull's exposé on my activities at the Big Dolphin and my brilliant concept of the Leaning Tower of Gunyarra (what a dibber-dobber bull is), so I'll sell the 'Vette & my AA5B plus I have given notice to the building society in reference to a couple of my Superannuation term deposits. As a result, I have decided to fully fund the "BIG MIDGE", ............. just to shut bull up." "Wow f'n Wee, eh" said the President of the Midgeville Regional Council (the largest and richest in Stray-Ya, eh) "I am f'n ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 "........so impressed, that I can now tell you my true identity - I'm none other than Madge", and ......................................................... RATSO: Fair dinkum, Tink, what were you thinking ......... and your best mate Ratface just wishes to point out that this type of error gives the Wait-Shift guys more ammo with which to hammer you over W&B. Turbo respectfully advises Ratso, who clearly wasn't on the mailing list, that while Turbo was working on a simplified Pendulum equation to help his two axis friends, The Voice issued an edict which removed the baggage area from the aircraft and left them with carry-on only! It appears they have missed the subtelty of the action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 ........ I'm on my way to take over the WORLD. 1st the RAA, then Midgeville City, Regional & District Council, then the SAAA and I'll go on to squeeze Eeeen out of WreckFlying ................. then the big one where I will assume the position (NTTIAWWT) of top-dog Moderator, so that ........... The much beloved Ratface respectfully advises TurdBoy that subtlety is spelt like that and is not really part of Ratty skill set, is not really that common in recreational flying circles, except perhaps for blokes like Blank Page & FT where the message is often so subtle that nobody can work out what they are getting at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I can use my hands more ,,,for rubbing purposes only,as i polish my..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 STOP PRESS .......... STOP PRESS .......... STOP PRESS BULL HAS BEEN SUSPENDED INDEFINITELY FROM WRECKFLYING, AND HIS LICENCE CANCELLED FROM THE AUF, FOR ACCUSING ONE BOARD MEMBER AND ALL OF THE MAGNIFICENT MODERATTI OF POLISHING THEIRS EXCESSIVELY. "WE ALL KNOW THAT THEY DO IT, BUT IT SHOULD NOT BE PUT OUT SO PUBLICALLY ON THE INTERWEB" SAID A SPOKESPERSON "WE HAVE A 'THREE STRIKES' POLICY ABOUT "POLISHING IT" (TURBINE IS ON HIS 4TH THREE STRIKES SUSPENSION AT THE MOMENT ..... AS YOU HAVE ALL KNOW FOR A WHILE THAT TURBI GIVES HIS A GOOD "POLISH" AT TIMES). OUR 3 POLISH POLICY IS GENERALLY SIMILAR TO THE AFL, AND STEVE MUSTY&CLAMMY HAS BEEN SELLING POLISHING KITS FOR YEARS THAT PUSHED THE BOUNDARIES, BECAUSE EACH CONTAINED AN INSPIRATIONAL CENTREFOLD PHOTO OF A TOPLESS CWA COMMITTEE. "YOU ARE ONE TOO" RESPONDED BULL DEFIANTLY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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