The Never Ending Story

[planedriver]

dictating the chosen new national style to which all males must conform. Those that abstain, may never be seen with their original style again. However....

 

 

[IBob]

...what he had not foreseen was the manner in which this would split the nation.

 

Initially the People did as he had done, purchasing one of each. A lively market in recycled coke and fanta bottles sprung up, and an entirely new design of bum-bags was deployed, allowing the populace to carry both orange and white wigs at all times.

 

Staff on the International Space Station took to filming Xi's day-to-day wig changes, the ripples of orange to white or white to orange spreading visibly across the nation as the news spread.

 

But after lights out, something far more sinister began to happen: at first streets, then neighbourhoods, then entire districts polarised into whites or oranges.

 

The Leadership tried many things: alternating wig days, no wig days, both wig days, but when an entire orange district vanished one night, leaving only their orange wigs atop street lights and telegraph poles, and surrounding whites dancing in the streets.....

 

 

[hihosland]

to the haunting hypnotic beat of the star-bellied-sneetches and their ..

 

 

[IBob]

...solid rock ensemble, a collaborative effort drawing from artists (and rocks) along the entire length of the Great Wall.

 

Meanwhile, on the ISS, when astronautical teen heartthrob and Rutger Hauer lookalike Rocky Flint failed to drift in for breakfast, lunch and tea, suspicion immediately fell upon Ginger Braveheart, who not only had the job of putting the rubbish out last thing at night, but...

 

 

[planedriver]

was trying to get the attention of the driver from Starlight Dairies as they needed a an extra couple of pints of gold top milk....

 

 

[horsefeathers]

cause all the other milk had disappeared.

 

Unfortunately, Ginger was suffering one of his periodic schizophrenic episodes, which was brought on by the internal conflict between his red hair and blue skin,

and had accidentally jammed Rocky in the fridge, and put the milk out with the rubbish.

 

When the fridge was opened, however...  

 

 

[IBob]

...since the milk was normally normally kept in the bottom of the door, and since Rocky was higher up, by now entirely motionless, and lightly coated in frost, nobody noticed him. And so it was several days before the lovely Sylvia in her nicely fitted jumpsuit went looking for fresh yoghurt, and found herself gazing into his glazed eyeballs.

 

Being not only an astroperson, but a woman of her time, her first impulse was to try and stare him down. When this didn't work she slammed the door, as a means of buying time while reconsidering her strategy by adjusting the zipper on her jumpsuit. And it was only after several adjustments of the zipper, during all of which Rocky's eyeballs remained frozenly on her face, that she began to suspect something was horribly wrong....

 

 

[hihosland]

then in her distress she had a flash of nostalgia and remembered her dear uncle, he of the bobbing monocle, declaring WD40 would fix anything including misbehaving zippers, then having cured the zipper conundrum with WD40 still in hand she remembered there was something horribly wrong with Rocky and with a flash of inspiration she ...

 

 

[IBob]

...oiled his eyeballs, then operated her zipper.

 

At first nothing happened. But the lovely Sylvia persevered, and was rewarded by two audible popping noises, followed by a creaking sound as Rocky's eyeballs freed up and began swivelled slowly downwards, then to left and right as Sylvia stepped to left and right. Then, having got him started, she leaned him against the wall to thaw out slowly, and was rummaging in the fridge for the yoghurt she had been looking for, when...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......the TV burst into stories about a trade war between China and the US.

 

The Spratly Islands are a series of Islands in the South China Sea, lying off the coasts of the Philippines, Malaysia and Vietnam. The Chinese have claimed ownership, and with the help of Australia have built a spectacular airfield, coincidentally long enough to take their fighter aircraft, which have small engines. Australian reporter Emily Lee and cameraman Wing Ho recently travelled to the Spratlys to interview the airport maintenance manager, General Ho Lee who said “We imported the dirt from Australia to build it. Took 30 years, and you Australians charged us like it was gold!”

 

“It was Iron Ore”, said Emily and...........

 

 

[hihosland]

it is now all starting to rust away. But no matter you soon will not be needing these bases because ...

 

 

[Admin]

Hong Kong and Taiwan have decided to get together and take over China using their freshly imported jabiloo aircraft which are now made out of Kevlar so they can land in Tiananmen Square and rescue all that decide to take on tanks...but wait, there is a change to the plan ...

 

 

 

[hihosland]

the tanks have all about faced and gone to Hong Kong where they have proved to be absolutely useless because al the umbrellas have...

 

 

[FlyingVizsla]

.. been fitted with Chinese built Jabiloo engines. 

 

A deep rumble pervades the air, a slow, deep reverberation of a sleeping bear, slowly awakening.  "Spratly .. Australian soil! .. Jabiloo!!!" yelled the CASA bureaucracy, clearly conflicted by the thought of an Australian engine being allowed to fly unrestricted in Orstralia.  "Didn't we ban ....  

 

 

[hihosland]

" Didn't we ban Jabiloos in their home territory?

 

How come that we failed to ban them over foreign turf?

 

we must spread the memo of aviation safety far and beyond these home skies

 

Let "onwards and downwards" forever be our motto

 

although "de terris ad astra" does sound safer. "

 

After that great and exhausting cogitation the great CASA bureaucracy rolled over and returned to sleep the sleep of the well p;aid all the while dreaming of .......

 

 

[440032]

puppies.............

 

 

[bull]

Being trained to spy on fellow aviators at country flyins. One even was trained to...

 

 

[FlyingVizsla]

.. be ultra cute and endearing, so as to end up in countless YouToob Vids.  Gold, absolute Gold for the CASA Misdemeanour Investigators.  For there, in the background was evidence of multiple breaches of ... 

 

 

[turboplanner]

....flying restrictions by a certain Captain.

 

Captain Spratly was sitting in the Reading Room at Raffles Hotel. Raffles had long since been bypassed by the Latte set, but he was happy sitting there alone, taking Earl Grey tea from the finest china cup and saucer, and leisurely reading The Times. His wife Ki Lee was out shopping.

 

Suddenly he sat bolt upright, “Blast!” he said and a waitress Sol Lee, rushed up and asked if she could help. She often did, but now was not the time.

 

He didn’t hear her; his mind was racing back to the time…..Naming those islands after himself had seemed like a master stroke, but now his project was in danger of……

 

 

[Captain]

"What a social climber" said Ahlox "Raffles my considerable sized ar@e. You are in the Singapoor Rissole where they are holding  a chook raffle, and a crook chook it is too".

 

"And talking about crook, I could pick an Abus 9000 quicker than you can pick that snoz of yours. Lucky your not in the middle of your famous Singapour Aero Crub water escaporogy extlavaganza."

 

"Eye say" said the Earl, "I wonder if the all powerful Ian will object to what Ki & Sol are doing under the table while the raffle guy calls out "2 fat ladies, 111" and Spratly answered ......

 

 

[Captain]

....flying restrictions by a certain Captain.

 

Captain Spratly was sitting in the Reading Room at Raffles Hotel. Raffles had long since been bypassed by the Latte set, but he was happy sitting there alone, taking Earl Grey tea from the finest china cup and saucer, and leisurely reading The Times. His wife Ki Lee was out shopping.

 

Suddenly he sat bolt upright, “Blast!” he said and a waitress Sol Lee, rushed up and asked if she could help. She often did, but now was not the time.

 

He didn’t hear her; his mind was racing back to the time…..Naming those islands after himself had seemed like a master stroke, but now his project was in danger of……

 

... overstepping the mark. Ahgetyourrocks off chimed in, as he always does "His name isn't Spratly" he glowered "Its Sandy Island and he just uses Spratly when he's going to love em & leave em, like the Turboplunger does at every truck stop around OZ ........

 

 

[Admin]

"Spratt answered"...With a booming loud OMG it's the Capt, the NES king, no one is safe, he's back, we need to hide in the...

 

 

[turboplanner]

..parlor.

 

In the city of Wagga Wagga, often shortened by locals to “Wagga”, and more recently “Wag”, sat a disconsolate locksmith picking his nose. He had been an Australian Coastwatcher in the Pacific during WW2, and in the process had discovered a hidden cache of aircraft parts on Bora Bora. The parts were for Chance Vought Corsair fighter aircraft. He never told anyone and after the war wrote a story about Spifires being buried in Burma to throw people off the scent, but he needed people to assemble the parts and he needed people to fly them.

 

Ahlox looked across at his illegitimate sons Lok Se and  An Lokd, and said “An, you are going on a trip, where………..”

 

 

[Captain]

"Spratt answered"...With a booming loud OMG it's the Capt, the NES king, no one is safe, he's back, we need to hide in the...

 

.... Karzy.

 

"NO YOU DON'T " Commanded Eeeen from on high in his best big-boy voice "This is a Rec Flying site not a motoring page for Ford Anglias and Simcas ....... (and with that the NES went back 11,000 posts and all the old phart contributors were young again) ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.... Karzy.

 

"NO YOU DON'T " Commanded Eeeen from on high in his best big-boy voice "This is a Rec Flying site not a motoring page for Ford Anglias and Simcas ....... (and with that the NES went back 11,000 posts and all the old phart contributors were young again) ......

 

...Turbo had ridden in the Captain's Anglia when he was a boy. The Anglia had been worked over to it's last gasp, and was able to achieve a top speed of 86.3 km/hr if the bumpers, doors and spare tyre were taken off, and.......