The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

..... because Turbo went all serious in the NES post #10650 and buggered up the flow of the Story.

 

"How can I make a crappy joke about VC winners" said bull with conviction (it was for public exposure in central bone during bull's wild and experimental years, which started in 1984 & are expected to end in '27), and that is .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

....43 years of bull.  Bone has a nice little RSL where the ladies serve an excellent lunch.

 

"Remember the night bull came home late in the Tyro and hit the tanks" said Arther Bunger "You would think.........."

 

 

[Captain]

....43 years of bull.  Bone has a nice little RSL where the ladies serve an excellent lunch.

 

"Remember the night bull came home late in the Tyro and hit the tanks" said Arther Bunger "You would think.........."

 

..... that the army would have kept them disguised and away from the flightpath (fd avref) as the army from the Ville, know as the Lavarack Lascivious Larrikins, were on exercise around bone.

 

"But how do you work out where a flightpath is, when bull is flying, as it certainly isn't an extension in line with the runway" said Brendahhh who was still enlisted, except her name is now M16dahhh and she had been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel where her uniform included her wheely walker wrapped in camo.

 

The ladies at the Rissole .......

 

 

[bull]

tututted and said you would think that those chaps from the NES would remember the flow of the story,as they seem to relish talking about the bull from bone and the now non existant rsl that had to pull bull out of the water tank after threading his jackaroo down the downpipe [a whole different riveting story],,,,So back to the riveting drama of the foxhunter and the dh82b with the jammed throttle from foxys sleeve,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,As the queenbee started climbing [like the rat does after hearing about the men from casa [avref] flying around in another queen[a queen air]looking for him]…………………………. the airspeed started to drop off [avref]and the queenbee started to...……..

 

 

[turboplanner]

............roll to port at an alarming rate, because.......

 

 

[Captain]

............roll to port at an alarming rate, because.......

 

..... his sleeve was jammed in the throttle.

 

"That story is getting a bit repetitive" said the girls from the Rissole, who were feeling under less sexual pressure now that they knew that bull still thought the club had closed. "It's a bit sad that we couldn't tell bull, but the girls put it to a vote and it's for the best" said Mavis, "As it stops him lifting his leg on the front door & humping the leather couch if he just isn't made aware that we have reopened the joint as a JV between the Rissole and one of Jimmy P's casinos. It's called the ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

..... his sleeve was jammed in the throttle.

 

"That story is getting a bit repetitive" said the girls from the Rissole, who were feeling under less sexual pressure now that they knew that bull still thought the club had closed. "It's a bit sad that we couldn't tell bull, but the girls put it to a vote and it's for the best" said Mavis, "As it stops him lifting his leg on the front door & humping the leather couch if he just isn't made aware that we have reopened the joint as a JV between the Rissole and one of Jimmy P's casinos. It's called the ......

 

...Anzac Bar, and Turbo has been there many times doing research on the Captain's sordid history, but that's another story, but back to the Queen Bee where 18 posts later Foxy explained that you had to take control of an out of control aircraft and make a firm decision, so he snapped the throttle lever off and the sleeve came away............

 

 

[Captain]

...... smiling, just like the Executive Committee at the Anzac Bar.

 

"We didn't tell Tinky Wink about the true location of the bar either" added Mavis "As although he thinks he is a bit of a stud, the girls here voted on him too and their decision was no to any Mextorians being able to take advantage of the flower of bone's grandmahood, so Tinky Wank thinks it's that hut beside the treatment works, whereas we have a 16 story new building along the waterfront. Have you seen The Sands in Las Vegas?" she added "Well it's nothing like that."

 

This made bull think further about his .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

......earlier statement. Why would locals not tell locals about the Anzac Bar being open, and he stalked down the Main Street of Bone ready to make an issue.....

 

 

[Captain]

......earlier statement. Why would locals not tell locals about the Anzac Bar being open, and he stalked down the Main Street of Bone ready to make an issue.....

 

..... , but Mavis defused the situation instantly with her diplomatic approach.

 

"It's because we don't want you in the joint, you dill. Take the hint, son. You and bull are trouble, with a capital W, and while Gladys still drives past bull's joint hoping to be noticed and to join the 300 m high club in the Tyro, the rest of the girls would rather eat dirt than have you both here making trouble with your sexual innuendo and your rotten flyboy ways".

 

Turdboy was shocked, mostly because Mavis had poked him with her crowd control cattle prod and then she .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

...really got angry, and said “And as for that snivelling, groping, whining little Sergeant......”. Turbo cut in; “Did you mean Captain” and she replied “That’s the formless creep!. If I had my way I’d bust him back to Private!” And Turbo nodded agreement. Mavis was not one to cross and the Captain would be wise to get out of town or...

 

 

[Captain]

..... meet up with Mave in private at her mansion behind the high gates on Main St,  in bone, as she had been sexting the Skipper you a few years. "What are you wearing tonight" is her favourite starting point, but she always quickly moved on to .......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....rainfall statistics for Central Queensland once she realised where the Captain’s thoughts were heading, and as soon as he nodded off to sleep, she was able to slip out to join Turbo at the Anzac Bar. She had flown F4 Phantoms in the Vietnam War and told some amazing stories of the low level work she used to do. After the war when she came back to Bone, she decided to get a PPL. The instructor, a mysogenist mistook her for a bimbo, and said things like “this is the prop, dear, and we don’t want to be chopped up so we stay well clear”, and other unflattering stuff, but Mavis just smiled sweetly, but as the instructor let her take off in the 172 when she had the barest margin available she flicked it on to it’s back and all but trimmed the tips in the local canefields. This was who Captain was messing with and she’d just asked him if he’d like to come up for a flight. He was thinking mike high, but she was thinking.....

 

 

[Captain]

...... "I'll flick that delicious Skippy over onto his back and see what happens. "

 

What did happen reminded Mavis that the people who live in bone are colloquially known as "boners" and this term is used during many events that are held in bone throughout the year, like "Boners come back to bone", "The bone Ag Show is for boners", "The Country Music Festival, where boners are welcome" and such like.

 

As the 172 snap rolled like one of the new Extras, she asked .....

 

 

[onetrack]

"...does that give you a bone? It should do!" However, the instructor was ignoring what she was saying, and was screaming and grabbing at anything in the cabin to stop himself from flying around. Mavis snap-rolled the 172 upright again, and said, "I guess that's not allowed, is it? Sorry about that, I thought I was in the F4 again, doing bombing runs on VC hideouts in the Long Hai's."

 

The instructor was speechless by now, and Mavis asked him if he knew Cappy from Kapooka. "Ye-ye-ye-yes", stuttered the instructor as he tried to regain his composure.

 

"He's a right arsehole, isn't he?", said Mavis. "I think he needs to be taught a lesson or two, and I was thinking of taking him up in this, and flipping him on his back, and see if he managed to keep his composure, or if he became a screaming wreck, like you just did".

 

"W-w-w-wr-wreck?" stuttered the instructor, who like Cappy, was.....

 

 

[turboplanner]

........prone to thinking of himself as being material for Baywatch, not realising that today the only gig he would get was if the producers of Love Island added a geriatric couple to provide some laughs.

 

Mavis had made her point, and returned to the RSL where her job was to turf out all the old story tellers; no one ever argued with Mavis.

 

She also made a note to round up that little squirt bull and beat the crap our of him for dissing the bone RSL.

 

Back at Cowra, Nobushi had heard about the snap roll..... 

 

 

[Captain]

..... his mouth was watering and he was busting to head down to central Cowla to the Sushi Tlain.

 

He had also received a retter advising that he had been awarded an honourlaly membership of the bone Rissole & Casino as one of the croupiers felt like eating a little Japanese, and after 75 years stuck in Cowla, he was ready for some flesh meat and a ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

........hot dag.

 

Nobishi had come out of the Cowra RSL to meet the Captain. He'd been a member since 1943, when he managed to convince the old WW1 officials that he'd seved with the 2/39 on the Kokoda trail, and he was now speaking in his perfect Australian as a current Cowra Councillor.

 

He put his arm around the scrawny shoulders of Captain and said:  Welcome to Cowra son, wheat capital of the world. Inview of your frequent, if perverted posts on Wrecked Flyne, I'm going to show you something very few people have seen, and they drove out the Shovelback Road. "Lot of potholes in the road"  commented the Captain, and that was going to cost him dearly. At a hayshed on Nob's farm, they dragged tha hay away and there sat a perfectly restored Zero. "It's got full fuel" said Nob, and I'm w.......

 

 

[Captain]

.... wery wery (his engrish still needed some work) worried about whether it will get to bone with a statutory reserve, and I haven't been cullent on my Zelo ricence for 73 years, but Turdbro is a wizz & can .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

Train a pirot these days in 30 minutes; in fact he signed me off in 25 minutes.

 

Only problem Capstain is you have to sit on my lap and after reading your latest posts, any funny business and you going overboard.

 

There was a hesitant little smile on the Captain’s face as the Zero picked up speed across the paddock but....

 

 

[onetrack]

...suddenly, a P-51 appeared from nowhere, and strafed the Zero, stopping its takeoff run, long before V1.

 

Nobishi-san, revealing himself as a true son of the Emperor, screamed out, "Kichiku Beiei!!!" (bestial American or British), whilst looking for his headband.

 

Cappy was in a state of terror by now, caught in the crossfire of a true aerial attack, stuck with a 5th columnist, and with nowhere to run.

 

But desperate times means desperate moves by desperate men, so Cappy decided it was....

 

 

[Captain]

.... then he saw that this aircraft was part of the 3rd Kamikaze Expeditionary Force, and that this may in fact be a one way trip.

 

However, using the Skipper's superior reasoning, it was evident to him that all aircraft just fly one-way trips.

 

Turbo was feeling argumentative and said "No they don't,  they .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

......but before he could give an example of the Calculus logic of some pilots,  there was a rumble sound and then that unmistakeable whistle as a Corsair dived in in at 450 mph and............

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

......but before he could give an example of the Calculus logic of some pilots,  there was a rumble sound and then that unmistakeable whistle as a Corsair dived in in at 450 mph and..........

 

...... as everyone knows, the sound of Corsairs gets Turbo's drip-hairs all excited, and he has found that the only way to relieve that (apart from visiting Cuo again) was to .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........open up the throttle on a big radial with a 13 foot prop and feel it trying to turn the aircraft over, but remembering which rudder to apply to prevent it, and mostly remembering correctly. Following the Captain's comment he aimed the big nose straight for that individual's scrawny little frame, and thought, "We'll see who starts dripping when he sees this coming!"  He opened up the canons.........