The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

...........open up the throttle on a big radial with a 13 foot prop and feel it trying to turn the aircraft over, but remembering which rudder to apply to prevent it, and mostly remembering correctly. Following the Captain's comment he aimed the big nose straight for that individual's scrawny little frame, and thought, "We'll see who starts dripping when he sees this coming!"  He opened up the canons.........

 

CORRECTION ... For new members of Wreck Flying or for StewedAnt Pilots, we need to amplify on Tinky Wink's last post. As opposed to Tink's post, please be aware that the Corsair & most wreckreational aircraft just have one rudder and that is the one to use to keep the aircraft straight on takeoff. It is the wiggley bit that is attached to the sticky upy bit near the rear of the aircraft, and the rear of the aircraft is the bit at the opposite end to the noisy thing and the large wind maker. Correction complete.

 

....... and put a string of holes along the side of the Quaitarse F#cker that was lining up on 05 at Cowla, but fortunately .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.... the structure had so few load carrying points that it’s disadvantage turned into an advantage; a few holes which Qtas could fix by glueing bike tube patches on. Fortunately the stream of abuse from The pilot what’s in Mandarin so......

 

CORRECTION to CORRECTION

 

With respect to that peanut eating ass scratching Cappy, EVERYONE knows that all aircraft have two rudders. There’s left rudder and there’s right rudder and that makes two. 

 

 

[Captain]

.... the structure had so few load carrying points that it’s disadvantage turned into an advantage; a few holes which Qtas could fix by glueing bike tube patches on. Fortunately the stream of abuse from The pilot what’s in Mandarin so......

 

CORRECTION to CORRECTION

 

With respect to that peanut eating ass scratching Cappy, EVERYONE knows that all aircraft have two rudders. There’s left rudder and there’s right rudder and that makes two. 

 

.... a COLLECT COLLECTION BY Nobu (now known as Nobby since he was promoted to 2IC at both CASA & the NTSB {he is a powerful plick}). The Turbofiddler is losing it, dear readers, as the crot is talking about the ludder pedals and not the wiggly bit that is attached behind the sticky upy bit.

 

...... Nobby said "speaka engrish, we no want your Citywok here in Cowla, and .....

 

 

[onetrack]

.... we already got Macca's here" - the sound of which got Cappy slavering and drooling, and wondering where he could get a free Maccas voucher, seeing as he'd used up all the ones he'd bummed off Turgid.

 

But dear NES readers, we are getting away from the true aviation story here, what with talk of Citywoks and YouToob videos.

 

The real problem for Nobishi-san was what to do with his now-disabled Zero - because without an airworthy Zero, he'd couldn't strafe that big coathanger and put real fear into Sydneysiders - who are virtually all Chinese now, anyway, seeing as Sydney is the Shanghai of the South. 

 

Nobishi-san sat cross-legged and mediated. What would his Bushido instructor do in a dire situation such as this? Of course, he would raid the enemy airfield and steal one of their aircraft, and spring a real surprise attack - because no-one expects to be strafed by ones own aircraft (unless its American, of course), and the thought of this excursion led to Nobishi-san becoming aroused to....

 

 

[Captain]

.... we already got Macca's here" - the sound of which got Cappy slavering and drooling, and wondering where he could get a free Maccas voucher, seeing as he'd used up all the ones he'd bummed off Turgid.

 

But dear NES readers, we are getting away from the true aviation story here, what with talk of Citywoks and YouToob videos.

 

The real problem for Nobishi-san was what to do with his now-disabled Zero - because without an airworthy Zero, he'd couldn't strafe that big coathanger and put real fear into Sydneysiders - who are virtually all Chinese now, anyway, seeing as Sydney is the Shanghai of the South. 

 

Nobishi-san sat cross-legged and mediated. What would his Bushido instructor do in a dire situation such as this? Of course, he would raid the enemy airfield and steal one of their aircraft, and spring a real surprise attack - because no-one expects to be strafed by ones own aircraft (unless its American, of course), and the thought of this excursion led to Nobishi-san becoming aroused to....

 

…… be mediating instead of meditating. "That always gets me vely juiced up to be a mediator as they get paid a bomb (avref)" explained Nobi in his usual perfect engrish.

 

However the Excursion was on, so Nob needed to have an approval signed by his parents or guardian, he needs to take in some money in the corner of his hanky and he ……..

 

 

[turboplanner]

....needs to buy some illegal fireworks from Wun Bang Nao’s shop......

 

 

[Captain]

....needs to buy some illegal fireworks from Wun Bang Nao’s shop......

 

.... a packet of Rothmans 12's, a ......

 

 

[onetrack]

.... $7 Chinese multi-tool (because you never know when you might need an opener or a screwdriver). With his needs sorted, Nob ran out of the shop, right into....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....16 plastic containers to tidy up the shed bench...

 

 

[bull]

to maximum Nobbu squinted down the crosshairs ,computing the velocity,,he………….

 

 

[bull]

rolled the f5 vigilanty fighter bomber,[that he just stole from the chinneeeessse felllaaa,ss]   ..smoothly coming up on the ……………..

 

 

[Captain]

rolled the f5 vigilanty fighter bomber,[that he just stole from the chinneeeessse felllaaa,ss]   ..smoothly coming up on the ……………..

 

.... correct angle of the dangle to ....

 

 

[turboplanner]

...the  exact azimuth to....

 

 

[Captain]

...the  exact azimuth to....

 

..... lock in on the heat of the meat, but .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

......with all that dithering the F4 crashed and burned. “Rong time since I had an ejection” chuckled Nob, but then......

 

 

[Captain]

......with all that dithering the F4 crashed and burned. “Rong time since I had an ejection” chuckled Nob, but then......

 

….. he considered his age and 70 years of eating Chico lolls at the Cowla Gleasy Spoon that was strategically located a walking/eating distance between the Plisoner's Camp, the Airport and the West Cowla Lissole.

 

"I'm pretty good for my age" Nobu ejaculated, "But I'm also ……..

 

Post script …. for the NES Police, the meaning of "ejaculate" is "to say something quickly and suddenly" (or clickry and suddenry). In the Shelock Holmes books it is quite common for Sherlock or Doc Watson to ejaculate 10 to 15 times.

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

Ready for the fright rine, so I’ll see if I can get bull to cough up another F4......

 

[Turbo and other NES readers appreciate him extrapolating after his posts, but you should see him at the Wagga TIn Shed on a Friday might]

 

 

[Captain]

Ready for the fright rine, so I’ll see if I can get bull to cough up another F4......

 

[Turbo and other NES readers appreciate him extrapolating after his posts, but you should see him at the Wagga TIn Shed on a Friday might]

 

... but instead of an F4 he provided an FU, which bull said was ......

 

Posty post script ..... Your delightful Captain only extrapolates (or Ex-strapons) because Tink, the onetrick and bull (the bestest most excellent jackoffaroo) are old pharts who are mired in the results of the crappy edumacation systems and sexual hangups of the late '50s (19 not 18, but sometimes it hard to know), when some of these words may be either too long, or indicate that they should not touch themselves (or each other for that matter). A worthy aim I'm sure all NES readers will agree.

 

 

[onetrack]

....good enough for the job in hand, as Nob "Eff'ed Up" last time, anyway. But the Captain, extrapolating again - and he really enjoys extrapolating, because it obviously involves extending things (and God knows, the Cappy has been extending his appendage for longer than most of us remember) said, "An FU is not what we need right now. We can indulge in FU's anytime, but not this time, because it's important that there is no FU for Nob to FU again. Is that clear?" "I don't think so", said Turgid. "You need to extrapolate a bit more, but don't do in front of the ladies, it creates great angst and also a degree of mayhem". At that point....

 

 

[Captain]

..... it was pointing towards the NW where .......

 

 

[turboplanner]

Point Pointless loomed, evil, under a dark storm cloud.

 

Not many people know that Captain Cook called in here to build a new gallery after an argument with bullwhip, the cook (bull’s great grandfather). bullwhip had been making omelettes and smashed avocado out of chopped bully beef and rotten apples for six months, and when Captain Cook mildly commented that he’d rather eat some real food the cook took a crowbar to the galley. Cook called it Pointless and named the Point which was claimed by the First Nations people who a a tribe of Indians from Canada. Captain, Onetrick, bull, and Turbo had recently obtained planning approval to build a 20 story Casino and flying school. They had employed Mavis as the head dealer and Constable Doubtfire as head of security, and Nobushi Teppanyaki as CFI.  The opening was due next Wednesday T....

 

 

[Captain]

...... The opening was due next Wednesday T....

 

..... hough Turdbro's use of capitals has always been questionable.

 

"Listen" said Mavis "The bone CWA (which is also the bone netball team) doing a nickerless Can Can is not going to cut it to get the high rollers like bull & HiHo up here for the opening (and knowing Gladys as I do, the dance might turn into a Can't Can't ...... I remember at the last wet t-shirt comp here and Glad was doing her thing, that there was a chorus of 'put it back on') but then again, why can't a ....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....group like the Gumly Gumly Six open the show.

 

”because their school packs hang lower than their knees” replied Turbo, “ they only have five teeth between them, and they couldn’t dance in tune to a line of Crimean Cannon!.”

 

”This seemed to unsettle the Captain somewhat, because........

 

 

[Captain]

.....group like the Gumly Gumly Six open the show.

 

”because their school packs hang lower than their knees” replied Turbo, “ they only have five teeth between them, and they couldn’t dance in tune to a line of Crimean Cannon!.”

 

”This seemed to unsettle the Captain somewhat, because........

 

..... his extended family had been killed by cannons in the Crimean conflict.

 

"How was Tink to know that?" asked Eeen, who was suspicious that Turbs may have overstepped the mark ..... once again (He's still on remand and on a good behavior bond from the last time Eeen banned him).

 

"Oh, he knew alright, because I told him all about at the Tyabb fly-in 2 years ago." sobbed the Captain bravely "He's a real c.........

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....choreographer, and Turbo blushed at this unexpected compliment.

 

”Don’t cry” Turbo said “ look on the bright side. Six hundred horses charged

 

Into the valley of the shadow of death and the  Cook family ran the other way straight into the support cannon, which had just been loaded with grape, a sad loss I agree, but you got rid of all the inbreeding in one hit, so you didn’t have to marry your sister and.....