The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

At the evening conference, bull made his position clear.

 

He also castigated the rat-headed Captain for his abuse of Turbo after such nice compliments Turbo had made about the Captain, and pointed out that if Captain had put his glasses (imagine the bottoms of two soft drink bottles) on, he would have noticed the comma which denoted the primary possessive which came before the adverbial adjunct).

 

bill closed by challenging the Captain to tell the press what information he.........

 

 

[Captain]

At the evening conference, bull made his position clear.

 

He also castigated the rat-headed Captain for his abuse of Turbo after such nice compliments Turbo had made about the Captain, and pointed out that if Captain had put his glasses (imagine the bottoms of two soft drink bottles) on, he would have noticed the comma which denoted the primary possessive which came before the adverbial adjunct).

 

bill closed by challenging the Captain to tell the press what information he.........

 

….. could supply about why bull was now called bill.

 

"I reckon it is because he is worried about a repeat of the Geoffrey Epstein (privatejetavref) (or Geoff, as he was known to the 2 princes, Turbo & Andrew) murder or 8" drop bedside hanging suicide, if he is checked back into the clink at bone, where he is on 1st name terms with the screws (the guards, not Mavis).

 

The sidedraftcarbyPlanner felt compelled to come (sic) clean & advise the NES "I also knew Geoff when me and Andy stayed at his joint, but I did not know that bill (from bone, not Cliton from Monica) was also involved (erky perky) which is a rather sick thought."

 

It also became clear during the coronial investigation that the Epstein "ring" used terms like "primary possessive which came before the adverbial adjunct" as code for their nefarious activities.

 

The onetrack mind (who has had his own issues of late) was shocked and blurted "bull's real name is bill? Well I never (even though he had) and that means that the downdraftPlanner might be a closet ……..

 

 

[turboplanner]

[Turbo advises NES readers that he will do his best to avoid the new racist rules]

 

.............XXXXX.  He was not of course; his father was a XXXXXXXXX, his mother was XXXXXX, and spoke fluent XXXXXXXX. 

 

When he asked bull why he had changed his name to bill, poor old bull bill became very embarrassed and explained that his Uncle, who was a XXXXX, the local storekeeper who was a XXXXX (not the colour XXXXX), and a boundary rider who was an XXX  and only spoke pidgin SSS were never too sure who was...........

 

 

[Captain]

.........…. and a boundary rider who was an XXX  and only spoke pidgin SSS were never too sure who was...........

 

……. up who, but that never mattered to Tubb because he was a racist XXXX and related to a …….

 

 

[turboplanner]

……. up who, but that never mattered to Tubb because he was a racist XXXX and related to a …….

 

 

 

 

 

.......Jedi?,  who got him out of trouble whenever necessary, which quite possibly was going to be soon because in return for a substantial donation by Turbo, Point Cook Air Museum has agreed to let him have a fly of its Maurice Farman Long-Horn with its Renault engine, the only flying Long-Horn in the world. He has been limited to one circuit only in totally calm conditions...............

 

[Captain is warned that he should not use disguised lettering when everyone knows what he means - MOD]

 

 

[bull]

NEWS FLASH!!!!,,,,Bull [or Bill whatever floats your boat] ,,has just been released from the Bone courthouse after the local Sarge admitted that he has made a mistake and it was all a case of mistaken identity....The real culprit that the sarge was looking for happens to live in Melbourne and his name sounds like an air compressor for engine combustion!!![as bull walked away towards the North Aus hotel , he could be heard muttering about how much that bloody sarge took to change his mind [and the extra bit to go chasing turdy] and his now  reduced  financial ability to prop up the local hotel industry.     After much ado,Cappy was seen to be...……………..

 

 

[onetrack]

....looking through his stash of money bags to see which ones had been rifled by the Bull, to pay off the Sarge.

 

Meantimes, the Turgidfanner was having trouuble wih his phne whic obviously hs a faaulty keybaod, because he keeeps geting worrds misspellt and names balsed up - or else he just has no proof-reading skills and just punches off answers as fast as he can produce his faulty keystrokes.

 

But Onetrack has gone quiet because he has taken great offense at the Turgid ones sneering description of Vietnam Veterans who carry MG's and who go down VC tunnels head-first.

 

Obviously, unbeknowns to Turgid, Onetrack is a locally-famous Vietnam Vet and has great familiarity with the M60 MG, and the NVA regulars and VC's in black pajama outfits, who set many booby traps and mines for Onetrack when Ontrack patrolled in the twilight under the canopy of the Deep Green J.

 

But Onetrack survived the regular NVA and VC onslaughts, utilising his cunning and great skills, and is now contemplating what kind of VC-type punishment he can inflict on the Turgidfanner, by visiting his home abode in the dark of night, in deep jungle camouflage, and setting some nasty booby trap surprises for him.

 

Or perhaps Onetrack will just simply set a great big Vietnamese scorpion under a sock in one of Turgids shoes during the night, to ensure he gets a proper VC greeting. Such is the punishment meted out to those who chose their words less than carefully, when taking aim with sneering words at our War Heroes.

 

Meantimes, Bull had finally made it to the pub, and was greatly surprised to find that he could still run a tab, despite having no money, no hope, and no....

 

 

[Captain]

....looking through his stash of money bags to see which ones had been rifled by the Bull, to pay off the Sarge.

 

Meantimes, the Turgidfanner was having trouuble wih his phne whic obviously hs a faaulty keybaod, because he keeeps geting worrds misspellt and names balsed up - or else he just has no proof-reading skills and just punches off answers as fast as he can produce his faulty keystrokes.

 

But Onetrack has gone quiet because he has taken great offense at the Turgid ones sneering description of Vietnam Veterans who carry MG's and who go down VC tunnels head-first.

 

Obviously, unbeknowns to Turgid, Onetrack is a locally-famous Vietnam Vet and has great familiarity with the M60 MG, and the NVA regulars and VC's in black pajama outfits, who set many booby traps and mines for Onetrack when Ontrack patrolled in the twilight under the canopy of the Deep Green J.

 

But Onetrack survived the regular NVA and VC onslaughts, utilising his cunning and great skills, and is now contemplating what kind of VC-type punishment he can inflict on the Turgidfanner, by visiting his home abode in the dark of night, in deep jungle camouflage, and setting some nasty booby trap surprises for him.

 

Or perhaps Onetrack will just simply set a great big Vietnamese scorpion under a sock in one of Turgids shoes during the night, to ensure he gets a proper VC greeting. Such is the punishment meted out to those who chose their words less than carefully, when taking aim with sneering words at our War Heroes.

 

Meantimes, Bull had finally made it to the pub, and was greatly surprised to find that he could still run a tab, despite having no money, no hope, and no....

 

..... dignity (after his cavity search & the related pics on facebook) but .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......he could run a tab, so he offered Turbo a beer and said “This is clearly Beat Up Turbo Week, so what would you like to do to pay them back. Turbo smiled and .....

 

 

[onetrack]

...said, "I have things planned for them, but that can wait. Now, about this Sgt you put on my tail...". Bull grimaced and looking a little shamefaced, said, "Well, I had to get him off my back somehow, and sending him to Moorabbin should be enough to ensure he gets mugged, carjacked, and robbed - all in the one day - so he would probably forget about chasing you up after his Moorabbin experience. "Oh, I don't know", said the Turgid One. "I got carjacked three times in the last two months, the house has only been burgled twice, and I was robbed on the bus four times, so it's not like his Moorabbin experience would be unusual". "Sudanese gangs?", inquired Bull. "No, it was mostly Greek kids and Vietnamese juveniles, they make the Africans look tame. But hey, that's a small price to pay for living in such a great place".

 

Suddenly, the door flew open, and there was the Rat - "You Bastard!!", he yelled, "You Rotten Mongrel Bastard!!". The assembled group in the bar spun around, stunned. The Rat went on.....

 

 

[Captain]

.......he could run a tab, so he offered Turbo a beer and said “This is clearly Beat Up Turbo Week, so what would you like to do to pay them back. Turbo smiled and .....

 

..... looked in the mirror.

 

What he saw shocked him as it proved thst he really was a XXX, and he had ......

 

 

[Captain]

.... Suddenly, the door flew open, and there was the Rat - "You Bastard!!", he yelled, "You Rotten Mongrel Bastard!!". The assembled group in the bar spun around, stunned. The Rat went on.....

 

...... to great heights (avref) and lofty (avref) achievement where he was one of the few flyboys & mining dudes who were awarded 2 AOs over successive years.

 

"I'm a bit like Hawthorne mid premiership run and just need to get another 2 in succession" he said with some pride.

 

"You anglo bastard" said the Downdraft Planner who just had one, which just proved what a racist XXXX he really is, and .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.........moved well clear of the scrawny little dude with the sagging jowls and BO which was drowning out his 2AOs, which he'd bought at a local market.

 

"Tell us about your achievements" said Turbo sweetly, knowing  the Captain would have to invent something, but for once the Captain was speechless (thank God). To add insult to injury he was fined for swearing in the bar, and turned on Onetrick with an effeminate little snarl, saying......

 

 

[Captain]

.........To add insult to injury he was fined for swearing in the bar, and turned on Onetrick with an effeminate little snarl, saying......

 

..... "Do you brazilian wax, the same as I do?"

 

This shocked the NES to its core.

 

"Core blimy" said bull "I've always wanted to do that but thought that my sensitive ....

 

 

[Captain]

..... "Do you brazilian wax, the same as I do?"

 

This shocked the NES to its core.

 

"Core blimy" said bull "I've always wanted to do that but thought that my sensitive ....

 

…… Then in mid sentence the onetrack.mind turned to your delightful Skipper, for he, bull and the Skipper were out at the club to discuss what to do about the TurdyPlunger.

 

"I reckon that Turds is a XXXX, just like you have said (bravely) a couple of times Cappy" volunteered the onetrack, who always believed in getting straight to the point and keeping his posts very concise.

 

"TinkyWink used to be a mate" said Crappy sadly "But I reluctantly must agree with you Onesy."

 

Then Cappy turned to the boner and said "Your the most perceptive of us, bill, so what is your considered opinion of the Turdster?"

 

"i reckon you are both right, he's the explicit definition of a xxxx" said bill.

 

"Don't leave me out either" commented Eeen, who was in a nearby booth moderating one of Turdy's other posts for technical merit & general bullshit. Then Eeen shocked everyone by saying "He's worse that just a XXXX, he's a ……...

 

 

[turboplanner]

…… The ontrack mind turned to your delightful Skipper, for he, bull and the Skipper were out at the club to discuss what to do about the TurdyPlunger.

 

"I reckon that Turds is a XXXX, just like you have said (bravely) a couple of times Cappy" volunteered the onetrack.

 

"He used to be a mate" said Crappy sadly "But I reluctantly must agree with you Onesy. Your the most perceptive of us, bill, so what is your considered opinion of the Turdster?"

 

"i reckon you are both right, he's a definite XXXX" said bill.

 

"Don't leave me out either" commented Eeen, who was in a nearby booth moderating one of Turdy's other posts for technical merit. Then Eeen shocked everyone by saying "He's worse that just a XXXX, he's a ……...

 

........but he never got any further, because Turbo walked in and flung four photos on to the table. he looked up and said "Drinks are on me......except for these four XXXXX, and you should all have a look at these photos before you sit anywhere near them. And off he went, whistling a happy tune because today was the day the RAAF were trusting him with the Long-Horn, and......

 

 

[Captain]

........but he never got any further, because Turbo walked in and flung four photos on to the table. he looked up and said "Drinks are on me......except for these four XXXXX, and you should all have a look at these photos before you sit anywhere near them. And off he went, whistling a happy tune because today was the day the RAAF were trusting him with the Long-Horn, and......

 

….. he knew full well that HE would never have another one, although …...

 

NOTE TO NES'ERS ….. Did you notice the extent to which Tubby edited my post #10790. As Daffy would say, "That was dithpickable".

 

 

[Captain]

..... but thought that my sensitive ....

 

…… nutsack …….

 

 

[Captain]

…… nutsack …….

 

…… which was the subject of Tubb's 4 photos. "he must be a perve as well as a xxxx" commented bill nonchalantly (still saving on the use of his shift key), and that's …….

 

 

[turboplanner]

........wrong.  "bull" said Turbo. "Whaddayamean" snarled Bill. "I don't mean anything" said Turbo, "I'm just calling you by your correct name, and while we're on the subject these are the best identity thieves in the business, so I'd check your banks if I were you.

 

"Before you jumped in, I was about to correct your comment" said Turbo, and, opening the nutsack, brought out a handful of nuts. "Here try a few of these pecans bull, there's nothing wrong with them" and the old Captain, who seemed to be getting his posts mixed up this morning, screamed "They're a dollar each!" but it was too late Turbo and bull's cheeks were bulging and Turbo was walking around the bar filling any receptacle he could find with nuts, and leaving a big heap in the coackatoo's cage.  Handing Captain back the empty sack, he said "......

 

 

[Captain]

........  Handing Captain back the empty sack, Turdy said "......

 

…… "That's what mine look like now, and all the stratagem and tactics in the world won't bring that back".

 

The Skipper, who was one of Turdgirl's strongest supporters and best mates, and who was ever loyal and helpful to such friends, said "But have you tried …...

 

 

[turboplanner]

........boiling water and bicarbonate of Soda?...

 

 

[Captain]

........boiling water and bicarbonate of Soda?...

 

..... that will tan them to look like Tutanhamun's which, while an improvement, will still appear to be ....

 

 

[turboplanner]

...too bland. Turbo had once dyed his purple which was much more attractive but didn’t suit everyone. Once he’d shown it to Constable Doubtfire who was on RBT duty but she gave a grimace and waved him through. Turbo remembered....

 

 

[Captain]

...too bland. Turbo had once dyed his purple which was much more attractive but didn’t suit everyone. Once he’d shown it to Constable Doubtfire who was on RBT duty but she gave a grimace and waved him through. Turbo remembered....

 

.... how the manager of the BOB proposed that Turbo hang from the roof inside the BOB and dangle his purple set down as a human (sic) disco ball, and when they were lit up with a couple of lasers, the effect was better than the aurora australis.

 

As a result, Turbs was proud to have them out in the fresh air.

 

"did he say that his pills look like the southern aurora?" asked bill.

 

"They look more like The Ghan in a duststorm after a level crossing accident" commented Onesy. "An 80 year old afghan warlord, I mean, with a ....