The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

....collection of wrinkles that any bulldog would be proud of. But then, anyone who dyes his nut sack purple is definitely on the outer, when it comes to social acceptability."

 

"Did you see what else he did, that was outrageous, and showed that off, too?", said Onetrack. "I thought the Gay Pride Parade was full of some real whackos, but when Turboid.....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....slowly began to spin the BoB crowd went wild!.

 

At first it was quite orderly; dancers would heave their partners up on their shoulders to grab a nut, but when Constable Doubtfire walked in with her leathers on along with her gun belt there was trouble; as soon as she looked up and saw Turbo's purple nut bag she hit it with her taser.

 

Not many people know that Pecan Nuts conduct electricity and the nut bag exploded, spilling the pecans all over the dance floor. Captain realised that his pecans were disappearing and no one was paying and crawled all over the floor tryingh to collect them but as fast as he was the audience was faster, grabbing his nuts all over thr floor. The night was so successful that the BoB's owner, Ahlox instituted a Pecan night once a month, and..

 

 

[Captain]

....collection of wrinkles that any bulldog would be proud of. But then, anyone who dyes his nut sack purple is definitely on the outer, when it comes to social acceptability."

 

But not in Turbo's Moorabin counterculture, onetrack, where purple sacks are just one hue in the latest sack colouring craze to which Tinklywink has admitted.

 

 

[Captain]

.....slowly began to spin the BoB crowd went wild!.

 

At first it was quite orderly; dancers would heave their partners up on their shoulders to grab a nut, but when Constable Doubtfire walked in with her leathers on along with her gun belt there was trouble; as soon as she looked up and saw Turbo's purple nut bag she hit it with her taser.

 

Not many people know that Pecan Nuts conduct electricity and the nut bag exploded, spilling the pecans all over the dance floor. Captain realised that his pecans were disappearing and no one was paying and crawled all over the floor tryingh to collect them but as fast as he was the audience was faster, grabbing his nuts all over thr floor. The night was so successful that the BoB's owner, Ahlox instituted a Pecan night once a month, and..

 

But dear reader, should ex-sacked pecans really be that salty?

 

That was the ongoing controversy at the BOB & elsewhere, which rose to such heights that Ahpox was forced to do a taste test (erky perky), but in true PoxyLoxy style he ......

 

 

[onetrack]

...spat 'em out, declaring, "these are Fake Nuts!!" At that, the crowd went wild, just like a bunch of Trump supporters at one of his rallies, when he yells, "Fake news!!!".

 

"Fake??!!!", called out one old grizzled bar fly. "That Turboyfanner has been slinging around FAKE nuts??!! - he should be lynched!! Let's get him!!!"

 

At that, the Tirboyd took to his heels, as he sensed the angry mood of the crowd. Flying through the doors in a panic, with the BoB crowd hot on his heels, he ran into....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......Ahlox with a tray of fried cats (Turbo always donated a few trays from the cat farm}. The BoB crowd loved Ahlox's "Catfish Special" each night, and......

 

 

[onetrack]

....as they spotted the trays, and could see "Special Fried Cat #66" written on them, their mood suddenly turned a whole lot uglier.

 

"Fried Cat!!!," screamed one of the BoB blokes, "You mean to say you've been feeding us Fried Cat, with the "special" every night - and we've been told all the time, it's FISH!! You devious bastard!! You're worse than an $8 cheap meal cafe that uses canned, Tom Piper Braised Steak & Onions, and sells it as "Hungarian Goulash!!". The crowd growled a low guttural growl, and surged forward.

 

At that, Ahlox went a little pale around the gills, and said, "But these are specially IMPORTED Cats, not the regular Moorabbin back alley cats!! Besides, all Chinese specials are coated in a ton of batter, so you can't identify the mystery meat contents! It's been that way for centuries, every since Chinese Restaurants started! We're even better than the Indians at it - they just bury their mystery meats in sauces and gravies!!"

 

Meantimes, the Turbanwhammer was using the commotion to make a fast getaway, before the crowd turned its attention back onto him. He grabbed the Cappy, who was still on his hands and knees on the ground, picking up stray nuts, and said, "Where did you put the keys to the Jab? We gotta get out out here, before....."

 

 

[Captain]

..... we get out outed, or .....

 

 

[onetrack]

....outvoted or outnumbered. Let's hit the skyways pronto, so they can't follow us!" At that, Cappy hailed down a passing rickshaw (because they were still in NSW, and rickshaws were becoming a favourite form of transport there, now that the Chinese owned virtually all of Sydney, and outnumbered the original Aussies).

 

He jumped in, pulling the Turboy fanner with him, and barked to the rickshaw driver, "Wangaratta Airport, and don't slack off on the pedalling!"

 

Naturally, the reason he hailed a rickshaw was because he constantly made out he was flat broke, and he didn't want to raid any of the brown paper bags of cash he carried in his briefcase, in case some corrupt official claimed he was being shortchanged, and dobbed him in. As the rickshaw gathered speed, Cappy looked behind nervously, and was horrified to see....

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........a NSW Police diesel BMW with its lights flashing hot on their tail.  "Go faster" Onestick said to the XXXXXXX rickshaw runner and they soon left the BMW behind and were on their way down the Hume Highway mixing it with Kenwurfs and caravans for Wangaratta, where......

 

[Turbo respectfully warns NES contributors that you can's say XXXXXX OR XXXXXXX any more but have to p ut it in this format]

 

 

[Captain]

Turbo respectfully warns NES contributors that you can's say XXXXXX OR XXXXXXX any more but have to p ut it in this format]

 

Your Captain fully understood this kind advice from his close mate Turdboy ..... but the rest of Wreck Frying went berserk. "There's that XXXX Turdo setting the forum rules again, and as usual." "What a XXXX" they added, "He must think that he's bought the forum from Eeeen." Even bill chipped in "he is a pushy xxxx" bill added.

 

Cappy's natural inclination was to defend his mate Turdy, but "XXXX him" he said.

 

 

[Captain]

...........a NSW Police diesel BMW with its lights flashing hot on their tail.  "Go faster" Onestick said to the XXXXXXX rickshaw runner and they soon left the BMW behind and were on their way down the Hume Highway mixing it with Kenwurfs and caravans for Wangaratta, where......[

 

....... rickshaw runners are endangered, XXXX is consumed, blue singlets are king, Brown Bros taste great, and .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

Your Captain fully understood this kind advice from his close mate Turdboy ..... but the rest of Wreck Frying went berserk. "There's that XXXX Turdo setting the forum rules again, and as usual." "What a XXXX" they added, "He must think that he's bought the forum from Eeeen." Even bill chipped in "he is a pushy xxxx" bill added.

 

Cappy's natural inclination was to defend his mate Turdy, but "XXXX him" he said.

 

You could expect a XXXX   like the Captain to blame Turbo for this censorship, but he's only trying to protect his dear friend from the WF sledge hammer. 

 

Here's a helpful guide:  

 

 

 

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

....... rickshaw runners are endangered, XXXX is consumed, blue singlets are king, Brown Bros taste great, and .....

 

.....a few people fly from the formerl Wangaratta International Airport which these days.....

 

 

[onetrack]

...is owned by a Chinese consortium, fully 51% owned by the P.L.A., to ensure that Chinese jets (of all types - civilian or military) get priority in the landing queue, and reduced landing fees.

 

"Surely that can't be true?", says Cappy with a desperate look. "That means us RA flyers will be even further down the list, than we already are!". "Don't worry about that", says Turboid, "We just need to re-negotiate the purchase deal, and extract some major concessions from the Chinese. Just look at what Trump has done, he's slaughtering them in the streets!" "No, that's HK you're thinking about", says the Craptain.

 

"Well, look, we buy more Chinese-manufactured rubbish than anyone else in the world, apart from the U.S. - so just look at the leverage we can apply, to gain the concessions we want".

 

"I'm not looking for a concession, that's only for seniors!", cried Cappy - "and the last thing I want, is to be identified as a senior!!". "Look, said Turbanrunner, "You're already a.....

 

 

[Captain]

...is owned by a Chinese consortium, fully 51% owned by the P.L.A., to ensure that Chinese jets (of all types - civilian or military) get priority in the landing queue, and reduced landing fees.

 

"Surely that can't be true?", says Cappy with a desperate look. "That means us RA flyers will be even further down the list, than we already are!". "Don't worry about that", says Turboid, "We just need to re-negotiate the purchase deal, and extract some major concessions from the Chinese. Just look at what Trump has done, he's slaughtering them in the streets!" "No, that's HK you're thinking about", says the Craptain.

 

"Well, look, we buy more Chinese-manufactured rubbish than anyone else in the world, apart from the U.S. - so just look at the leverage we can apply, to gain the concessions we want".

 

"I'm not looking for a concession, that's only for seniors!", cried Cappy - "and the last thing I want, is to be identified as a senior!!". "Look, said Turbanrunner, "You're already an.....

 

..... Adonis in the aviation community, so please lend your support to our anti airport ownership cause by those Chinese XXXXX".

 

"Worry not dear Turbs. Forget about Wang International (now coincidentally owned by the Wank & Kerr families from Sechwan). We'll just flick over the the Brown Bros private strip (its a bit short so things do pucker & go brown if you land a bit long) which is now being developed by good old skippy knowhow as Milawa regional & military strip with 380s due in soon, and all funded by me, mate".

 

"Wow" said Tink, Onesy & bill in a unison of admiration, and they immediately dropped their .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.... unwinnable spats. 

 

“Remember the time I hid three dozen bottles of Brown Bros best Chardonnay under the coats in the back of your 230,  and we took out the top wire on their fence” he said to Captain. There was a rumour that a Chinese syndicate was going to buy out the winery.......

 

[Turbo is earned about Racism;  the above should read “Non Transparent Bros” and “ XXXXXXX “ syndicate, and this is verging on Jab bashing - MOD]

 

 

[Captain]

...... unwinnable spats. 

 

“Remember the time I hid three dozen bottles of Brown Bros best Chardonnay under the coats in the back of your 230,  and we took out the top wire on their fence” he said to Captain. There was a rumour that a Chinese syndicate was going to buy out the winery.......

 

…………. "Ahhhhh" said the crappy Cappy to his great mate Tink "Those were the days when we flew in a bit of a daze."

 

HidyHody couldn't resist chiming in here as he remembered to good old days too when the CASA mantra was "0 Hours bottle to throttle" (or was it the other way around?) and Hi(as a kite)Ho recounted the time that he and a much younger (when he was just a learner XXXX) Turds took ……...

 

[Tell the moderator or post # 10817 to go bite his XXXX ….. MOD]

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........HiHo in a Cessna 150 down the full length of the Murray below ground level, underneath the gum trees and sometimes under the snags which......

 

 

[Captain]

......... underneath the gum trees and sometimes under the snags which......

 

.... isn't easy when they are BBQing a leg of saltbush lamb, however HiHo ......

 

[Murray has submitted a complaint to the forum police too, and is unhappy about his length being discussed so publicly ..... MOD]

 

 

[turboplanner]

 

[Murray has submitted a complaint to the forum police too, and is unhappy about his length being discussed so publicly ..... MOD]

 

Turbo apologises for this unthinking slip and can see how the Murray River could be traumatised for years as a result of mentioning its XXXXXXX.

 

 

[onetrack]

(Onetrack is horrified to see the direction of the NES go deep under water, like a bottom-of-the-harbour scheme, or a Spanish submarine (a lot of which never surface again, unfortunately).

 

This direction is totally unsuited to this forum, and the NES, which is supposed to be purely to do with all things flying around in the air.

 

As such, OT believes there is a need to lift the NES out of its potentially watery grave, despite the submariners snide comments about "more aeroplanes at the bottom of the sea, than submarines stuck in the sky". Accordingly, I believe the gravity of this situation needs to be overcome, to enable serious lifting of the NES.)

 

As Turbo gunned the Cessna 150 upwards again, after his astonishing death-dive recovery from under Murray River Gum branches, HiHo was seen to reach for......

 

 

[bull]

..... dignity (after his cavity search & the related pics on facebook) but .....

 

You had to bring up ,The Incident you RAT...........................................................

 

 

[turboplanner]

..........................................................The Incident actually started in Proserpine, a greasy dirty town with haf-empty shops and beady eyes looking out from behind old 1920s cash registers painted silver,  the sort of place where you start looking behind you five minutes after you've arrived in town to find the service station out of fuel. You hear rustling from the seven years worth of dried palm fronds, and somewhere an old FJ Holden starts up.

 

It was here that my friend bull dropped in for a hamburger one cold night, many years ago. Naturally the shop was shut and he was just standing there shivering beside his Ford Customline, and wondering where he could go next. "If only there was a tourist town within fifty miles" he thought "there's always a shop open all night in those towns". There was a mild rumble and a big big burly cop riding an African American 350 Matchless stopped and asked him his name. The problem wasn't the name bull, it was when he murmured "with a small b" that the trouble started......................

 

 

[Captain]

..... as this was a code in fnq, which indicated that .....