The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

…… westpac want to …..

 

 

[Captain]

..... change their name so that there is no connection with that joint on that side of the country..

 

"Presently it's like calling ourselves septicpackage" said their Chaiman, bill, or ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....the South Bali tellers; ANYTHING to get out of here and across east to civilisation, where the customers wear shoes.

 

"Even the Bank of Western Australia has ditched its name and now calls itself BankWest" said the Westbank CEO; "why don't we move to Melbourne and call ourselves Eastpac!"

 

And he was made Chairman and given a six million dollar bonus for such a great idea, and then he decided to take up flying.

 

 

[Captain]

... and went under the nom-de-plume of Onetrack, but in the meantime FIFO went from strength to strength, for the WA population were dissatisfied and ripe (were they ever) for insurrection and .....

 

(AND THE RACE IS ON FOR POST #11,000 WHERE EEEN WILL OFFER AN INCENTIVE .... MOD)

 

 

[turboplanner]

..some of them even thoughtg about getting out of bed in the morning like people from the East do, and Tasmanians say Mainlanders do, not knowing that in the sunset country manana lasts until the pubs open and......

 

 

[Captain]

.... then they have a kip after their pub lunch & a chat with the barmaid,  which often ....

 

 

[turboplanner]

....resulted in a fights over whether it was possible to land a Jabiru on the lawns beside the Swannee River, or......

 

 

[Captain]

....resulted in a fights over whether it was possible to land a Jabiru on the lawns beside the Swannee River, or......

 

.... and this is where the complications set it, as the Native Baker (We pay our respects etc etc ad norcium), the bloke with 2 dings and your happy Cappy worked on making FIFO the vehicle thru which "The Voice" would be conveyed to Parliament House.

 

"It doesn't matter that FIFO is a terrorist organization" said Scott to his Security Committee Meeting "It's that we can't have the forgotten WA-nker half of the country setting policy from half a day behind, as that would like taking the Kiwis seriously, or .....

 

(FIFO IS AN AVREF & therefore an acceptable direction (avref) in which the NES may head (heading is an avref too) ....... MOD)

 

 

[Captain]

.... and this is where the complications set it, as the Native Baker (We pay our respects etc etc ad norcium), the bloke with 2 dings and your happy Cappy worked on making FIFO the vehicle thru which "The Voice" would be conveyed to Parliament House.

 

"It doesn't matter that FIFO is a terrorist organization" said Scott to his Security Committee Meeting "It's that we can't have the forgotten WA-nker half of the country setting policy from half a day behind, as that would like taking the Kiwis seriously, or .....

 

….. that Queensland can play football.

 

bull had been quiet recently, partly because he thought that the NES at the moment is speaking about Jack and the Beanstalk and the FIFO terrorist organisation was where the Giant said "Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum", so as a result bill was playing with his beans and his stalk.

 

"no bill" said Turbo (a Giant of the aviation community) "leave your beans alone and concentrate on the story, as this is serious, and ………..

 

 

[turboplanner]

“......taking advice from that Sergeant dude that keeps crawling in here?”

 

”He’s a Captain” said his Secretary, and he laughed and said “Well we’re not going to take a chance on those clowns influencing Canberra; Call Don and tell him to send a drone to take out their Kombi, and I’ll refuse entry to Nancy Pelosi for him. “But she’s not coming to Australia” the Secretary said. “She will when I contact her.....”

 

 

[Captain]

.... and tell her that our esteemed bill is about the only guy in the world who would ever be desperate enough to fix her ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

...television set or....

 

 

[Captain]

...television set or....

 

..... up, for Nance was one of those hotties where the crowd demands that she "put it back on" when she takes her T-shirt off, which is similar to what the crew at Wreck Flying yell when Eeeen takes his .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

......teeth out, and..

 

 

[Captain]

......teeth out, and..

 

..... gets ready to gum ....

 

 

[onetrack]

....something into the hot bearing of the treadmill that produces the electricity that WreckFline relies on - seeing as Eeen is as Green as they come, and ensures that WreckFline is run by renewable energy.

 

But the Captain isn't interested in this body parts exposure stuff, he's more interested in "fixing" stuff, and Marie turns to the Cappy and says, "I've heard reports that you're a great fixer? Do you think you could fix the F-35A's (avref) we've bought, because it seems like the Yanks can't fix them for love nor money, and they're still on the ground at Williamtown."

 

"Yep, I can fix anything", said Cappy, "In fact, even in High School I was mentioned in the graduation magazine as likely to be going on to be the worlds greatest fixer! Just leave it to me, I'll work on fixing this problem".

 

"But those F-35A's might take a bit more money than I've got laying around the house in brown paper bags - so, can I have the keys to the Treasury?".

 

"Oh, no!, we can't do that!", said Marie, "Because then the general public might find the Treasury is actually empty, and we've just been making promises we can't keep, and running up bills we can't pay!"

 

"Gee", said Cappy, stroking his......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....cat; just like my wife.........

 

 

[Captain]

.... which Cappy strongly denied. "I know I'm in demand but I have never stroked Mrs Turbo, although my memory isn't what it used to be and I may have tickled her under the chin some time when Tink hitched up to NatFly."

 

The Skipper thought long & hard,  then it occurred to him that the Native Baker said that he had a couple of F35-eh (avref) technicians as platoon commanders in FIFO.

 

One was a Russian & 2 were Palistinians, but what the heck, a F35-eh (avref) is a F35-eh (avref) and a LAME (avref) is a LAME (avref) eh, no matter what is their accent and no matter what Katyusha rocket they cut their teeth on.

 

So Marie (who wasn't the sharpest chisel in the cabinet (woodwork&govermentjokeref) had them security clearances, passes and inside Williamtown faster than an ISIS bride takes off her ......

 

 

[Captain]

So Marie (who wasn't the sharpest chisel in the cabinet (woodwork&govermentjokeref) had them security clearances, passes and inside Williamtown faster than an ISIS bride takes off her ......

 

…… he jab (subtleavref) as she might be a bloke or a ………...

 

 

[onetrack]

.... non-gender specific person to appease the now-huge LGBTTQQIAAP mob, who are virtually running Australia. Offend them, and you're history, and every polly knows it.

 

Meantimes, despite Cappys inability to count (by stating a couple, and then identifying three), that didn't stop him from trying to regain a leading position in FIFO - despite never owning any Hi-Viz, never having worn it, and constantly failing to wear enclosed shoes and safety glasses. 

 

"We can't have you in any sort of leading position in FIFO, you're too well known as a fixer, and people start to steer clear of you, as soon as they sight you", said Abo Baker. 

 

"Oh well, it doesn't matter then", said the Cappy, "I've already got a huge range of leadership titles as the Grand Poobah, so I don't really need a leading position in the FIFO anyway, the medals and ribbons would clash, and I hate it when that happens".

 

Meantimes, the Russian and the two Palestinians were starting to come under suspicion inside Williamtown, when they couldn't provide any Lockheed Martin authorisation, and they were seen to be taking many photographs of mission-critical sensitive equipment in the F-35A's.

 

"O.K., you blokes", said a big rough-looking ADGie, "The games up, we suspect you're a trio of FIFO spies, and..........

 

 

[Captain]

.... non-gender specific person to appease the now-huge LGBTTQQIAAP mob, who are virtually running Australia. Offend them, and you're history, and every polly knows it.

 

Meantimes, despite Cappys inability to count (by stating a couple, and then identifying three), that didn't stop him from trying to regain a leading position in FIFO - despite never owning any Hi-Viz, never having worn it, and constantly failing to wear enclosed shoes and safety glasses. 

 

"We can't have you in any sort of leading position in FIFO, you're too well known as a fixer, and people start to steer clear of you, as soon as they sight you", said Abo Baker. 

 

"Oh well, it doesn't matter then", said the Cappy, "I've already got a huge range of leadership titles as the Grand Poobah, so I don't really need a leading position in the FIFO anyway, the medals and ribbons would clash, and I hate it when that happens".

 

Meantimes, the Russian and the two Palestinians were starting to come under suspicion inside Williamtown, when they couldn't provide any Lockheed Martin authorisation, and they were seen to be taking many photographs of mission-critical sensitive equipment in the F-35A's.

 

"O.K., you blokes", said a big rough-looking ADGie, "The games up, we suspect you're a trio of FIFO spies, and..........

 

…….. they responded "Fair suck of the sav, pal. We are dinkum Aussies and to show you just how dinkum we are, we three are taking a sickie today and going to the Rubbitty Dub and crack onto a couple of sheilas." (See below video at about 1.40 for the scene in the pub)

 

"OK" replied the ADGie "That's all nicely un-pc so you must be beauty bonza cobbers. We'll join you mate, and have a few sherbets"

 

But then he thought further and …………..

 

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

......realised they had bypassed the HACCP requirement in processing and cooking their food, and could have some very nasty diseases including the plague and did a U Turn only to be run over and killed by a dump truck. This, NES readers shows how short life can be, ending when you least expect it.

 

Turbo had been busy for the last couple of days engaging with a group of First Nations people in the Pilbara. He had been sent there by the Prime Minister to discuss their land claim for, well, the whole of the Pilbara area and had written to tell the PM that the land was only being used at present by a few white squatters.......

 

[First Nations Art]

 

 

 

[Captain]

With Turbo's last post, Onsie was confused & concerned. "Well, he has been off the air a bit lately and he is a leading diplomat in real life, as well as an aviation (avref)  legend, so this all rings true, but geeez louise, if the Pilbara abstains it'll be a huge issue because we will no longer be able to climb it and the rest of WA will be a financial basket case, as nothing useful goes on south of the "Hancock Line" (a line thru about where the monkeys live, where everything to the north is owned by Lang's mob and by Sticky Cops-of-Trees).

 

However it turns out that it was actually Tubb who was dazed & confused, because he had been negotiating with a million strong Aafrikorns community (just like those who populate the rest of WA-nkerville), but these were all descendants of escapees from the Batavia.

 

"Come the think of it, I did wonder why they were so blonde, but the breis were good, and ........

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........I became even more concerned when I realised they were jabbering in Afrikaans, but then....

 

 

[Captain]

….. Peter Fitzzy said "There's an opportunity for the new book ….. kaaaaching …… come in spinners ….., as I'll be able to buy a new bandanna ….. plus I'll get bill to ghost write it, as that will save on costs & capital letters ….. and once I get the republic through I will become the new P. W Botha & F W De Klerk of OZ."

 

"You'll be a bore AND a Boar" commented Onsie who was not afraid to be controversial.

 

This excited the million Boars up north of the Hancock Line, who already had a loose (Tinkref) alliance with FIFO.

 

Arse-armour Bedlinnen issued a press statement aimed to make the most of the situation "The FIFO management, the great Palestinian peoples and their Jewish brothers always had a triffic (OZlingoref) affinity with our Afrikorrns brothers, we believe in the same shit, our womens are so similar that you can't tell them apart and ……. 

 

Onesie getting ready for the action in his camo onesie.

 

"He's just a "pretty boy" but if only I knew how to use a Zip" said Arse-Armour (and Tink).