Captain Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Eww Kapatain!..... It really is a head spin....:hittinghead: And it is all your fault. Quick, change your name back before BigPete comes back. "Ok, I'll..............
BLA82 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 And it is all your fault. Quick, change your name back before BigPete comes back. "Ok, I'll.............. Call Biggles back he can sort this mess out:loopy:. On a serious note old Biggles has seem to have gone quiet, for nearly 24 hours:exclamation: He must have really taken a holiday, either that or he didn't lockwire the second CDI back on. The poor Jab with full throttle, a 20knt tail wind and running on two cylinders only has a cruise of 50, but hey thats still faster than.....
turboplanner Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 a Sczportsczar or a Savana/severner/suvaner..you know, lands on ten cents, only does 5.....
Captain Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 a Sczportsczar or a Savana/severner/suvaner..you know, lands on ten cents, only does 5..... "I don't care" said Cappy "As I love all recreational aircraft equally and it matters not whether they be fast or slow, minium, part rivetless, rag or plastiche, highwing, lowwing or somewhere in the middlewing, Rotax, Jab, VW or any other wank engine, land on a zac or take 10 minutes to pull up, land straight or pull to the left, land normally or dig a furrow or two, I care not .... I think they are all great and wish everyone well." And he looked at all RAA aircraft and he was pleased. So on the Friday evening he rested. "You are my kind of guy" said ................... It's pretty warm out in the garden tonight, so my Aunt is having a wet tee-shirt competition
ahlocks Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 "You are my kind of guy" said ................... ....the happy clappy person in the flowing safron robe. :confused: Nah, couldn't be..:confused: could it:question:i_dunno:question: "You wouldn't be into eating raw possum :yuk:, skillfully dispatched with a star knife :raise_eyebrow: would you?" the Krappa enquired, with all the tact he could muster. The robed one stopped chanting his smiley mantra, slowly turned away from Hauptman and began to fumble for something under his robe..... ================== The garden is bare .. are the chests of the contestants?
Captain Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 The robed one stopped chanting his smiley mantra, slowly turned away from Hauptman and began to fumble for something under his robe..... "Has anyone got any baby oil?" asked Slarti. "I always have some with me (not that there is anything wrong with that)" said the Czechoslovakian gentleman. "OK, give us ................... Thank goodness the tee-shirt has dried in the heat in the garden, as the Tante is 74 (not that there is anything wrong with that)
BLA82 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Bare Chested:ah_oh: Gees the NES has turnes R-Rated, gees common their could be kids watchin:blush: As for competition I'm in my b cup man boobs are a sight to see :pig: Well thats enough for now, I can hear Biggles on his way back at the sound of boobs and for some reason Asslocks has undone his padlock, Whats that under his aluminium jocks it's a picture of.....
ahlocks Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 ...Whats that under his aluminium jocks it's a picture of..... Glistening manho..,...ummm,...sweat!:yuk: For not only has the sweatstar been abandoned :broken_heart: for the last three weeks 'cuz it's so hot , Lovak and crew have been punted into a BRT with dead air conditioning....Still, better than the other un-airconditioned one they were trying to gas them with ... "Tecnams must be cool though" noted lovak, after seeing one overhead town earlier this arvo' (during the hottest part of the day :confused::yuk: ). "Or maybe someone was testing to see what melted first...."
BLA82 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 What melted first:question: That'll be the jab wouldn't it. Nah, by Steve D's post ya can fly the jab in 160 deg/c, with the heater on and the Operating Manual is used for s:censored:t paper for outlandings:laugh: Speaking of outlandings Biggles just pulled of a great one, with the cheetah only running on two cylinders he actually landed in Crappy 's back garden, the uphill slope helped and he managed to pull up just in front of Aunty, mmmmm a nice young lad has came to see me she said. Just than a jealous Asslocks fires up and say's Thats my girl bigglesboy, but I will challenge you to a ......... for the right to take her out......
planedriver Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Boob talk Bare Chested:ah_oh: Gees the NES has turnes R-Rated, gees common their could be kids watchin:blush: As for competition I'm in my b cup man boobs are a sight to see :pig: Well thats enough for now, I can hear Biggles on his way back at the sound of boobs and for some reason Asslocks has undone his padlock, Crappee's quote It's pretty warm out in the garden tonight, so my Aunt is having a wet tee-shirt competition WOW!, i'm busting to see one of those, thought Planey, but he did'nt get any clues about the Aunts address. Off he set with his trusty bloodhound determined to find them. Dressed in his trilby hat, dark glasses:cool:, and un-buttoned raincoat, he was ready to go and flash his---------------------------------------------camera at the expected beauties. If I get enough photo's he thought, i'll make a calender to sell at Natfly to all the other deviates. Eventually arriving at the party, all was not what he'd hoped it would be.thumb_down There was the ageing aunt and all her friends intoxicated on Dan Murpheys cheapest plonk, standing on their heads giggleing, saying "me poor old knockers are usually by my knees, but now they're where they out to be". A few were topless and looked like they needed ironing. Even the sheep were better looking. But used to far better things, and profanities a plenty :angry:being aired about the tips from Le Crappee, he got the hell out of there. What else could you do------------when you don't hail from NZ:question: (sorry guys)
turboplanner Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Startabitfaster, because this was the only positive comment he'd heard about a Sheeter, and he wondered if the praise extended to one with puce paint covered in possum droppings. Turbo wasn't fooled by LeCrappe's statement, because he knew LeCrappe, and he knew leCrappe was just winding up for a monumental spit about something, and this was just a proviso in case he was accused of being biased. Although, Turbo himself had to say that through the recent heat wave, not one Jabertwo had melted and not one aluminium assbumper had blown a rivet, and even the paper covered skeletons had come through, and this comared very favourably with the number of B&S Utes parked beside the road waiting for resuscitation. Turbo did notice, however that LeCrappe was still keeping a close eye on his aunt in the garden; he thought it very peculiar that an aunt should be kicked out to survive in a garden for days on end, and wondered if they all did that in Wegga Wegga. He thought he might fly up to have a look and take some photos, and had just crossed the border and was overflying Henty when.... ...the garden in the aunt was dropping its leaves...
ahlocks Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 when.... it started to rain....:ah_oh::thumb_up: But there wasn't a cloud to be seen! :raise_eyebrow: So just what was dripping from the sky?? i_dunno Overspray from Auntie's wet tee shirt competition? Remnents of some tears from a recently departed play thing? ( B-A-L) Or was the rain just a figment of Turbo's imagination? Like the easter bunny, the tooth fairy, .........EtherealPete:question:
BigPete Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Are we doomed? My Dear FriarPuk. :heart: We are in dire straits right here in the NES. I believe the root of the problem is twofold - firstly the very high temperatures have stopped the NES characters from flying their aeroplanes. thumb_down Secondly, due to the on going and continuing drought I believe they are no longer bathing. :confused::black_eye: What else could make normal flyers thoughts turn to debauchery and unwholesome acts of depravity. Strong words you say, and I say YES, for there is an insidious element which I believe originates from the good Captains :heart: garden. :yuk: I fear his aunt and her innocent looking pen is the root of ongoing evil which has plagued the NES for the last week or two. :black_eye::ah_oh::sad:i_dunno What else could lower good men's morals and fibre. I feel we need a cleansing, an exorcism if you like. :thumb_up: As a man of the cloth and a maker of fine wine, :heart: I think that you're the man for the task at hand. I was hoping that cooler weather and cooler heads would prevail, but alas, this has not come to be. I suggest another sermon on the mount might be in order. Sooner than later would be good. :thumb_up: Perhaps UnpaintedGeoff (who is an expert of the night flight) could fly you in undercover of darkness. I await your reply. God save us all. regards HighlyConcernedI'veseenTheLightPete. :big_grin::big_grin:
turboplanner Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 "Jesus, he's back" (no not Jesus, BigPete) said Turbo, almost falling of his log "and under what strange circumstances. "One of the Waggas definitely had the Philadelphia Experiment electrics on last night, because I responded to a 10.26 pm post at 12.55 am,and no one had posted, yet this morning every other regular NESSER had published, and what should fall out of the sky but a cloth clad carping monk, who we used to know in previous lives as BigPete." "Not only that" said a clearly shaken TurboSurprised "but he addressed his message to Friar Puck, who left us for dead some time ago. "And not only that, but he managed to find EMOTICONS!" "I'll be STUFFED" said TurboStunned, but immediately spun round and ran as he saw the wrinkled apparition heading towards him. "Where have you BEEN" he yelled over his shoulder to Reverend Pete, "Don't you know it's Southern 80 weekend? Haven't you seen my daughter hooning around the town? How are you going to find a spare gum tree?.....
ahlocks Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 ... "I feel we need a cleansing, an exorcism if you like." HighlyConcernedI'veseenTheLightPete. :big_grin::big_grin: Lovak(stink:yuk:)sky stood repentantly before before Moseslike(and exceptionaly good clapper)Pete.:star::star: "Please forgive us for our sins, oh great camoflaged one." He Begged . "It took a pumper and three tankers two hours to deal with your message of doom and damnation in the wee small hours :black_eye:....:idea:Reckon you could use SMS next time?":thumb_up: "We are but poor frustrated flyers with grubby :devil: (but humourous :thumb_up:) minds.i_dunno And yes :black_eye:, we have even been guilty of dabbling with time warping to coax your resurrection." (well something worked :big_grin:, you're back :thumb_up::thumb_up:) "And please oh pure one, using words like 'fibre', can only lead to the temptation of toilet humour..." =================== The turbo should have been in the garden and not wasting the night asleep
turboplanner Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 "....and besides that, walking through Echuca in a robe on Southern 80 weekend is likely to result in some very interesting reactions." As a matter of general interest, Turbo's daughter saw PopePete flying down the river this morning in 40 degree heat, and when he asked if the aircraft seemed stable, she said "It did look as if it was full of horse sh*t" Turbo explained that was the Monk's Robe he was wearing, and tried another tack "Was he flying level?" he said "Oh No" said Daughterof Turbo, "he was skidding in every turn, making turns where the river had no bends, and the funniest thing was, the wings were curled up like a pair of hands waiting for communion. "The guys (too late Pete) all thought it was a stunt plane, but it looked to be like a few stubbies too many bacuse he was trying to bomb spectators with them" "Oh Dear", said Turbo........ "If it's not fixed, don't break it"
Captain Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 Strong words you say, and I say YES, for there is an insidious element which I believe originates from the good Captains :heart: garden. :yuk: I fear his aunt and her innocent looking pen is the root of ongoing evil which has plagued the NES for the last week or two. :black_eye::ah_oh::sad:i_dunno regards HighlyConcernedI'veseenTheLightPete. :big_grin::big_grin: "HighlyConcernedI'veseenTheLightPete has a point there" replied the Skipper "But I want to make it absolutely clear that Le Crepe should not be held personally, or exorcism wise, responsible for the fact that his Tante is a bit of a goer, out there in the secluded garden, doing with a pen what Bill Clinton did with a cigar." "So" suggested the Captian "I would be willing to co-operate with the Pucker with whatever he has planned and I will even hold the stake while he hits it ..... as, once again, I know what side my bread is margarined on, and I want a camping spot on the Airport in Chewka in April" "But tell Pucky that he needs to be careful as my Aunt likes men in uniform, particularly with the collars on backwards, and he'll need to be quick with the Scism or he'll be the one yelling "Save me" added Crappy. "I will" said ................. The well used pen of my well used Aunt is still in the well used garden
turboplanner Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 "But tell Pucky that he needs to be careful as my Aunt likes men in uniform, particularly with the collars on backwards, and he'll need to be quick with the Scism or he'll be the one yelling "Save me" added Crappy. "I will" said ................. Pucky, who Turbo assumes is one of the pseudonyms used by Charlie who clearly has scared the sh*t out of LeCrappe. Something is not quite right though. He hasn't announced the time of tomorrow's Service, and one wonders if he would even know what to say. Just then there was a lw level flash of yellow, and they all saw the tail end of a Corbet Startle "Ask him what's under his Robe" sadi jabba the Hutt..... "The pen is wearing out"
Captain Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 Pucky, who Turbo assumes is one of the pseudonyms used by Charlie who clearly has scared the sh*t out of LeCrappe. "No Tinky" said the Capp "Puck is real and is a member of this forum .... I have corresponded with him about 230's - see the last page of the F's in the membership list. He resides in Chilla and owns a 230, so he is indeed a deity like the rest of us 3 door owners" "PiousPete and PlainJaneGeoff seem quite close to the Puckster" said McVak "They are" said Cappy "As they need all the help, forgiveness and restitution that they can get". "If only ............... The pen of my sainted Aunt has been forgiven, and is in the vestry near the garden.
BigPete Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 ....the rest of the NES were so pure in thought and deed. :heart::heart: PourUsAnotherPete :big_grin: sits back and sips his iced tea, "what a lovely colour it is", he muses, "and lots of little bubbles rising to the top". :big_grin: Satisfied the the Captain :heart: remains (at least in the short term) on the right side of good and evil, :thumb_up: CrusaderPete faxes off a "thankyou" note to the Good FriarPuk and adds another order for 2 cases of alterwine at the bottom. ;) It remains to be seen if TabbyTurnipPlanter and Bollocks can keep their minds out of the gutter :devil: long enough to write about things aviation in the NES. What we need is an incentive to write a funny interesting story (about aeroplanes). A cameo that could be inserted into the NES thread but doesn't have to relate directly to the story. :thumb_up: Open, of course to all forum members. I'llSellMyNanIfItHelpsTheRAAIan might just provide a prize for such penship qualities if we ask him nicely. ;) What say you, SirIan:question: regards :big_grin::big_grin: My pen is full of Holy Water.
Captain Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 I'llSellMyNanIfItHelpsTheRAAIan Sorry Peter, but who is this "Alan" guy to which you refer. What we need is an incentive to write a funny interesting story (about aeroplanes). A cameo that could be inserted into the NES thread but doesn't have to relate directly to the story. Open, of course to all forum members. Not a hope there IdealisticPete. Why would anyone write about aeroplanes when there are Lasses, ButtCracks, Aunties, Pens, Slartis, Gardens, Mums, Nannas, Petes, Silk Flying Suits, Nose Wheel Legs and other assorted debauchery to write about? And you are setting the bar a bit high if you are demanding that it be both "funny" AND "Interesting". Isn't that what Boogles tried to do with his tale of funny and interesting derring doo ..... and look what happened to him? Then he made another attempt at "funny" with his cloud zooming witticisms and "interesting" with his CDI tome and the poor misunderstood (it's never my fault) bugger got pummelled again. It is obviously sex, rock & roll & the occasional garden (that is suitable for a ZacPete landing) that the punters want. The pen is still & poised while waiting for something aeronautique that is interesting and funny, and the Aunt is ducking for cover in the garden
turboplanner Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Quote (Captain): "Puck is real and is a member of this forum" Turbo thought about this for a moment "Yes I know the member now, but if he is real let him come forth and show himself; perhaps give us a sermon and send the NES off in a purer direction, although after seeing what he possibly did to FriarPete nobody has admitted anything but the missing time is about the hour's travel each way to Chinchilla and several days brainwashing" FriarPete Quote: "It remains to be seen if TabbyTurnipPlanter and Bollocks can keep their minds out of the gutter long enough to write about things aviation in the NES." "See what I mean?" said Turbo "next thing we'll be asked not to talk while someone is posting". "I didn't attend the morning service" replied Bollocks "he certainly grace us a sermon tough didn't he" "Yes" said Turbo, "I know how journalists feel now when the Editor throws back a story and says "Put some blood in it" then when you do some whining self righteous spectator complains that it is insensitive! "Anyway he might be talking like a monk but he's got the morals of a tomcat - who stole thje emoticons? who still manages to use them? who went missing right when we needed him? I'l give you three guesses" "You're right" said Bollocks "dressed in a potato bag" sipping the pub left overs after doing a disgracefully cheap deal with the local pub for communion wine (when was the last time you saw it bubble?) bombing the Southern 80 competitors with brown flour, he's become a caricature of what he used to be. "Anyway we better come up with something which has aviation in it" "How about the Coffe Royale scandal with Smithy", said Turbo, "that had both flying and Bu**sh*t" However, in his heart Turbo knew this wouldn't be enough - there was nothing worse than a born again Christian, not that he was suggesting FriarPete had been through the resurrection so he decided to put the challenge to him. Turbo shouted to FriarPete "Let he who is without sink cast the first tome!" (note the aircraft content)........
hihosland Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Peter with a pen full of holy water did say "if its not broken don't fix it" and then invites us all to fix it It's all enough to leave Nana confused with a Sting in the tail in a CZ garden
ahlocks Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 ....It remains to be seen if TabbyTurnipPlanter and Bollocks can keep their minds out of the gutter :devil: Tee, hee, hee! .....Hey Tabby:exclamation:, PurePete said "bollocks"....ooh wahhhhh! :clown: ============ <insert sanctified story about aviation here> Timeout Error - 80005a0fd23e (Contact humour support for assistance)
turboplanner Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 "Quite rudder, Quite aileron, old man sump" said Turbo, "the word is teticels"
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