The Never Ending Story

[BigPete]

 

(oh - bugger - I've spilt my cold tea.......) :confused::big_grin:;)

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[turboplanner]

Someone get him a nappie - maybe he's got emoticon shock syndrome.

 

You don't have to go that far for politican correctness do you?

 

It's still OK to say I wet myself isn't it? (If not I didn't)

 

 

[Captain]

"Let he who is without sink cast the first tome!"

Can't beat that.

 

I give up.

 

The NES is becoming way too hard to be the brightest and best smartarse on the block. Roll on flying weather where we can all just be the best pirots on the block.

 

Tinks pen is better than mine, in the aeroplane that is hangared in my Aunt's garden

 

 

[turboplanner]

Reverend, how about this for a flying related version of NES?

 

“I’m a flap said” Le Crap, “I slow your descent”

 

“Sometimes so fast you don’t know where you went”

 

“Right next is the aileron” said Planeron

 

“There’s another one too” said Jabba the roo

 

“I’m a prop” said BigPete “I turn round and around”

 

“That’s right” said Cap “and can never be found”

 

“I’m a …..” said BigW, but they wouldn’t let him finish

 

"Cap has the power of analysis that could squeeze the juice out of a Qunice stone- just doesn't have one in his garden"

 

 

 

[Captain]

Reverend, how about this for a flying related version of NES?

“I’m a flap said” Le Crap, “I slow your descent”

 

“Sometimes so fast you don’t know where you went”

 

“Right next is the aileron” said Planeron

 

“There’s another one too” said Jabba the roo

 

“I’m a prop” said BigPete “I turn round and around”

 

“That’s right” said Cap “and can never be found”

 

“I’m a …..” said BigW, but they wouldn’t let him finish

 

"Cap has the power of analysis that could squeeze the juice out of a Qunice stone- just doesn't have one in his garden"

 

On SaintPete's behalf I issue the following ecclesiastical missive that the above was not funny enough, was not interesting enough and was not aeroplane-y enough, and if you don't lift your game you will be burnt at the stake like that bloke who blasphemed by reckoning that the earth moves around the sun.

 

Archbishop Crappy

 

PS Do better or you'll all go blind ........... now here comes the plate.

 

The gold pen of my Sister Aunt is in the private garden at my palatial private Archi's residence, beside the drawing room with the artworks.

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

Cap, he said bugger too - what a hypocrit! You won't see that from many of the cloth

 

 

[Captain]

Hey Loxy. I rode out to the airport this evening to check that my 230 hadn't popped any rivets. Were you over there with the 2 Air Tractors who I assume have been working the fires over Tarcutta way? I nearly came over the say g'day but thought I'd better not as my renewed ASIC is in th post from the RAA?

 

Best regards The Crapper

 

Now

 

 

[ahlocks]

Nah, Krapatain wrong mob. The 'tractors were deployed 'cuz a truck with a buggered axle bearing had started ten kilometres of fires along the Hume....i_dunno

 

.....Thoughts go out to the Mexicans... ...mongrel of a situation.....:broken_heart:

 

================

 

The garden of the south is scorched. :broken_heart:

 

 

[turboplanner]

Yes, terrible, terrible situation. News is still unfolding because emergency crews have been too busy to check all areas behind the fire, more roads closed in Victoria than I've ever seen.

 

108 dead as of a few minutes ago, many in hostpital with burns, some not expected to survive, more discoveries expected.

 

The early lesson, which also came out of the Ash Wednesday fires is insure the property then get out as soon as news of the fire, or second, stay in the house to get radiation protection, but never try to drive out when the fire front is imminent. You may have seen TV shots of multiple car accidents, primarily due to loss of visibility, and there is virtually no radiation protection.

 

Easy to say, not so easy if you were in one of the fires.

 

With the benefit of hindsight the ABC is now broadcasting reminders to "Leave early, and leave early again"

 

Saturday in melbourne was an all time record temperature for any Australian State Capital at 46.4, with a very strong north wind.

 

46.4 isn't unusual for some parts of Australia, but what made the difference was the roaring wind, which made you feel like you were on the receiving end of a blow torch.

 

We had two grass fire outbreaks to the north, so I was very closely checking the fire fighting unit, but we were lucky, and the biggest shock was that after getting towards the end of the day with very little reporting of serious damage, the world fell apart as news came in from about 5 pm, and houses are still going down, CFA threat reports are still being broadcast now.

 

The emergency services have been magnificent but I notice the bureaucrats have moved in with an announcement this morning that people were being allowed back in to some areas, provided they could show a rates Notice.

 

There is plenty of TV footage, but to give you an idea of the magnitude, 72 schools are closed today.

 

But it goes on long after the media moves out of the area.

 

The day after the 1983 Ash Wednesday fires, I drove my motor home and a tandem trailer to a friend's property in Western Victoria after hearing their house had burnt down.

 

Things felt normal as I drove down the Princes Highway listening to news reports outlining damage, and even when I reached the fire blackened area and saw the first lost house, I was feeling fairly normal, but then I passed house after house, just a little pile of rubble and a couple of chimneys, I never realised it compacted to such a little pile, no fences standing, no gardens.

 

I'd driven the road many times but had trouble working out where I was the trees were just sticks, and I got out at one stage and the countryside was totally quiet - all the birds had been killed.

 

Yet beside every house, there was a fresh green stack of hay which neatby farmers had brought in for any surviving stock.

 

That's when the tears started to flow, and I eventually had the surreal experience of seeing a family standing on the remains of their property in their normal clothes, untouched.

 

There were disaster payments, and they finished up getting a new home but it took nine long months before they finally moved out of the motor home.

 

And they didn't lose any family members.

 

 

[ahlocks]

Contacted by WGA crew deployed to Yea area early yesterday.

 

Discovered two bodies lying beside the road this morning

 

Burnt out car a few hundred metres away..:broken_heart:

 

Similar reports from other crews....

 

============

 

...Humour impaired at the moment :broken_heart:

 

 

[turboplanner]

Yes, the humour meter's switched off at the moment.

 

You might need to keep those guys talking when they get back; they'll suffer too.

 

 

[ahlocks]

Oh yeah! Sent good operators who are up to the task, but they'll still need observation for effects after the initial adrenalin subsides.

 

At least they have family, homes and an organised debrief program to come back to....

 

 

[hihosland]

Clutching Colleen to her hip Sarah remembered other Christmas Eves. How her life had changed! From maid in Ireland to wife and mother in a eucalypt forest.

 

Barney the wombat, who treated the slab hut as part of his burrow, snuffled at her feet while from behind her came the crack of trees exploding as the fire rushed towards them.

 

Praying for her man, who was somewhere desperately fanning a back burn, Sarah with reins in one hand and Colleen tucked under her arm spurred towards safety. Into a tunnel of smoke and heat she thundered with spot fires bursting all around her.

 

When suddenly the undergrowth exploded the mare reared high, flinging Sarah and the toddler into her mane. The mare then crashed back to earth in a tangle of limbs and leather.

 

Well beyond any human control the horse scrambled upright and charged. Knowing not where; it just stormed forward, desperately seeking escape. Dislodged from the saddle and with one foot snared in a twisted stirrup Sarah was dragged back towards the hut.

 

Swung wide as the horse rounded a tree Sarah was slammed into a stump bursting the child from her grasp. The mare paused at the hut allowing Sarah time to grab the girth before the panic-struck animal again blundered on with the hapless woman bouncing at her side.

 

With tail and mane alight the horse charged head on into the encircling fire. Her lungs torn by smoke and cinders Sarah hung clung to the heaving flanks.

 

The heat and pain were so intense that she ceased to feel them; seeing in her delirium nothing other than the time when she presented their new born daughter to her husband. She saw Patrick cradle them in his arms and heard him repeat again and again “Colleen my Colleen”.

 

Slowly she realized that the violent movement had stopped, the flames and the roaring were no more and that she could hear Patrick’s voice as her seizured fingers were prised from the girth. Scarcely trusting her eyes Sarah found herself wrapped in caring arms in the middle of a burnt out clearing behind the fire.

 

On Christmas morning Patrick began his mournful search. Red eyed he slumped over his fork and surveyed the shadow of his home on the blackened earth.

 

Expecting to deliver a coup de grace he scratched a smoking pile from the mouth of Barney's burrow. Seemingly none for the worse for wear the wombat shuffled out and pressed his head into Patrick’s legs.

 

Patrick crouched down, wrapped the animal in his arms and cried.

 

From deep within the burrow came an answering “Daddy”.

 

So ends the first of the many sagas of she we know and love as Riverland Nana.

 

 

[Captain]

Clutching Colleen ......

So ends the first of the many sagas of she we know and love as Riverland Nana.

Hi HiHo.

 

I know that I must be PC at this time and not make any jokes at all ....... but is that Colleen McCulloch to whom you are referring .... as she is hot.

 

Kind regards Cappy

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

So ends the first of the many sagas of she we know and love as Riverland Nana.

 

Hey hiho, what are you smoking man?

 

 

[ahlocks]

Lovak pop's his head up , having missed the light hearted banter of the NES, especially during such a melancholy period.:broken_heart:

 

"Little red rat, IFR big thing, three zero miles decending from a long way up, inbound for some mystery approach point" crackled over the CTAF.

 

"NotsosweatyStar, 15 miles Sth East at 2500, inbound" answered LovaK , who was enjoying a bit of time in the air :big_grin: during lull in the heat :yuk: and smoke haze.

 

"What radial are you inbound on?" quizzed the Ruse Rodent. ":raise_eyebrow: Er, still South East of the airfield ......and tracking the Ladysmith road if that helps....:big_grin:" replied Lovak, who had decided that he too would to go IFR and use flash lingo:cool::big_grin:. (and contemplating NVFR owing to smoke begining to cause an early twilight.:raise_eyebrow:)

 

Quickly switching off the GPS, because it might fail when needed , lovak scanned the crimson haze and fumbled for the JATO tube.....

 

===============

 

 

[Captain]

Lovak pop's his head up , having missed the light hearted banter of the NES, especially during such a meloncholy period.:broken_heart:

.......

 

Quickly switching off the GPS, because it might fail when needed , lovak scanned the crimson haze and fumbled for the JATO tube.....

 

===============

"I wish there was a Jabiru up here at the moment, that I could follow and pretend to strafe" said Goldy "I'd try real hard to stay with them this time (if it is a 160.... so where is Nongy when you need him)".

 

"Ziss ist ze Hauptman" Ahlo heard on his radio "Und I am over ze top of ze feedlot @ FrauSchmidt" and, struck with fear, and a 1000 yard stare, Lochsy saw a high-winged projectile coming at him out of the sun.

 

It was ..........

 

 

[ahlocks]

..eine Krappatan, out prowliing for the last kills of the day.:ah_oh::ah_oh::ah_oh:

 

"eil shzred zat tin can to pile of confetti and zen hide behind it to confuz the Ruse Raten's TCAS." he exclaimed, in a very european dialect of indistinct origins. "Zen I'll zwoop out and tumble zem ober und ober und ober :yuk: in my powerful Jabaswoop's wake turbulanz."

 

With his cunning snare set , Hauptman circled above the frauschmidt feedlot , hidden from his prey by the smoke and smell of a million scorched gums trees.:broken_heart:

 

As he waited, and waited (and waited ) for the notquiteasSweatyStar to come into range, .......

 

=============

 

Fertilizer for the aunt's garden may be from pens ... or the pen...

 

 

[Ted Snook]

What's 'Fiddies mate ?. Don't forget you've got clean living Poms on here who only speak the Queens English.

 

If I had to guess I would say that you are talking about 'Skiddies', but I could be wrong.

 

Survival tip...Don't eat the yellow snow, Ted

 

 

[ahlocks]

G'day Ted! Been reading early NES have we? :thumb_up:

 

Fiddies was a mangling (for artistic effect of course ;)) of fifties, as in quid notes. eg "G'day bloke, len' us a fiddie and a smoke.."

 

Is 'skiddies' what happens when you try to land a jabroo without being aware of the autoleft feature? :devil:

 

Cheers!

 

P.S. What is snow :raise_eyebrow:

 

 

[Captain]

What's 'Fiddies mate ?. Don't forget you've got clean living Poms on here who only speak the Queens English.If I had to guess I would say that you are talking about 'Skiddies', but I could be wrong.

"G'day Ted, and welcome to the NES" said Le Crappe "I will send you a link to a translator between the language spoken out here in the colonies and that spoken in "mother england" (as Bob Menzies used to call it)".

 

"But "Fiddies" are things that only those with more than their fair share of jobs and shiny new maroon and white aircraft, have in their wallets" he added "As in Ahlo saying 'I've got more Fiddies in my wallet than you have" and the Skipper's reply of 'What does a fiddie look like?'

 

Now

 

"So with the SweatySportStar (which made the Nanna think about Matt Shervo at full tilt in lycra shorts []) coming into range, and FrauSchmidt below his right wing, the Hauptman's finger moved ever closer to the ............

 

The Aunt was glad that she doesn"t have those pens in her back garden

 

 

 

PS the reference to Frauschmidt is a little in-joke for the Wagga Wagga elite (which is me and Lochsy, don't ya know) and seeing as many of the regular NES contributors have buggered off, then it is acceptable for the moment

 

 

 

[Ted Snook]

Well I'll go for a ball of chalk mate - you guys had me there - I thought that you were talking about underpants, them bein' 'skiddies' - I guess that I've got a lot to learn.

 

You're right about the Eurostar though. Handles like a little fighter and outperforms a Cessna 150/152 in just about every department, on half the fuel with a better cockpit.

 

Just reading 'Propellerhead' - started it this morning and havn't been able to put it down yet - a must for Thruster fans or anyone else who flies come to that.

 

Happy landings, Ted

 

 

[ahlocks]

...the Hauptman's finger moved ever closer to the .....

....apex of his pursed lips. :clown:

 

"Shhh.....Be vewy, vewy, quite... he! he! he! he! . I'm hunting wed fings.... he! he! he! he!" whispered Kapatain silver whiskers. (who probably knew that, that 'cockpit' photo would come back to haunt him...) in his best fudd-like voice.

 

"Small nuisance traffic, Little Red Rat. established ten mile final on what ever runway I like.*" hashed across the airwaves.

 

Click. Click. Click. :confused: .....Was that? The PAL being activated by the ruse ratten Or was Kraptain Long jab silver :ah_oh: lurking in the area :confused: and has pressed the wrong "fire" button again??? ....

 

============

 

* RPT drivers in the WGA CTAF are actually very courteous and professional, however may still be subject to parody at the whim of the contributors. Any resemblance to reality is solely in the mind of the reader - No RPT were actually harmed during the making of this yarn.

 

 

[ahlocks]

..You're right about the Eurostar though. Handles like a little fighter

Hmmm, it was the eurostar I was thinking about.....:thumb_up:

 

 

Hey Ted,

 

Can I interest you and the EV in a safari to the wide brown, and scorched, land?

 

There's a bit of a vermin problem down here with tupperware parrots.....

 

Now's the best time to get 'em. They're a bit slower while their skin is soft! :devil:

 

And you aren't too far from the mark (). The 'skiddies' caused by the 'autoleft' feature could be on the runway,... or in the 'skiddies' :yuk:,.. or both.

 

=================

 

Jabs really are good aircraft. :thumb_up:

 

It's just that the owners :heart: are even better for a spot of fishing :devil: - they never go off the bite!! :thumb_up:

 

 

[Captain]

....apex of his pursed lips. :clown:

"That Ahlo sure does have a way with words" said the Nanna "I'm getting a bit goo-ey, as the Skipper is indeed a pretty good sort, with Shervo-like attractions"

 

"Shhh.....Be vewy, vewy, quiet... he! he! he! he! . I'm hunting wed fings.... he! he! he! he!" whispered Kapatain silver whiskers. (who probably knew that, that 'cockpit' photo would come back to haunt him...) in his best fudd-like voice.

"Those whiskers aren't grey" said Nanna "He is ash-blonde and it was just the filter I was using on my Nikon at 4.3 with 1/500th and a special digital setting, while standing on the back of the boat about to have a skinny-dip. I know he is a blonde because I have seen the bit that proves it (while I had my teeth out). And you should see his ................."

 

The blue/grey filter of my Aunt is in the garden, on the end of Ahlo's Canon