The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

........foxy.......

 

 

[Captain]

........foxy.......

 

.... Samantha Boeing and they boing'd at least thrice that evening, before he saddled up again to .......

 

 

[hihosland]

omnibus,

 

to the Captains bar

 

where he and Sam

 

created a fuss

 

while Loxie with Floxie

 

did ....

 

 

[Captain]

..... the horizontal hula on the bar as he regaled the crowd with stories of his low passes and his 8G pull-ups in the 737.

 

"For goodness sake give him a Max water tanker and we won't have to put up with these stories for too much longer" said UniRoot.

 

"Come here young Onesie" said Loxie "Why, I remember when I flew the Sportstar down to Yarrawonga in company with The Captain where we had a merry old ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

“.........time rebuilding the engines and replacing 2/3 of the rivets in the beer can. Then we flew......”

 

 

[Captain]

“.........time rebuilding the engines and replacing 2/3 of the rivets in the beer can. Then we flew......”

 

... (avref) ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

....but before they did they replaced an equal number rivets in the Capatin's plane, and hung a pink barbie doll from the ceiling which made his batter than Loxy's, and....

 

 

[Captain]

....but before they did they replaced an equal number rivets in the Capatin's plane, and hung a pink barbie doll from the ceiling which made his batter than Loxy's, and....

 

...... the speeling on the NES contingued to be atroxious.

 

"It's my autoerotic corection on my deputer" said .........

 

 

[turboplanner]

....Turbo who apologises to NES readers for such an atrocious post which was made with the best of intentions to boost the Captain's morale; Loxy's beercan was an immaculate example of a prestige possession designed to be shown off.  There is no evidence that it ever left the ground at Wagga Wagga, just stood out there polished to withing an inch of its life, tyres blacked and a fox tail hanging from the antenna, while Cappy's Jab, which he built himself, looked it and had much in common with Riverina  farm outhouses including green mould around the windows. Clearly his post failed to calm the XXXXXX down, and.......

 

 

[Captain]

....Turbo who apologises to NES readers for such an atrocious post which was made with the best of intentions to boost the Captain's morale; Loxy's beercan was an immaculate example of a prestige possession designed to be shown off.  There is no evidence that it ever left the ground at Wagga Wagga, just stood out there polished to withing an inch of its life, tyres blacked and a fox tail hanging from the antenna, while Cappy's Jab, which he built himself, looked it and had much in common with Riverina  farm outhouses including green mould around the windows. Clearly his post failed to calm the XXXXXX down, and.......

 

..... while these days the Skipper is actually please just to be called a XXXXXX, but he must admit that with his 230, having been built out on the farm, was proudly adorned with several 9 gauge wire ties and the antennas from 7 gauge and the leading edges of the prop in 10 gauge barb.

 

"I thought you had flown through a fence" said Turbs, but the admiring crowd guffawed in unison and the overwhelming comment in response was "He must be a .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

“...city flyer; they don’t know nothing!”

 

And it was partially correct; very few city pilots know that if 10 gauge barb to the leading edge of a prop. The weave on this gauge of wire creates a tiny dam, packing about 5% more air behind the prop and improving the aircraft performance substantially. The barbs don’t seem to affect this process, in fact..

 

 

[Captain]

“...city flyer; they don’t know nothing!”

 

And it was partially correct; very few city pilots know that if 10 gauge barb to the leading edge of a prop. The weave on this gauge of wire creates a tiny dam, packing about 5% more air behind the prop and improving the aircraft performance substantially. The barbs don’t seem to affect this process, in fact..

 

..... the barbs have been studied by the Smithsonian and shown to give a short takeoff performance boost akin the leading edge flaps AND vortex generators combined.

 

Hiho is into this type of stuff and was both flabbered & gasted because this ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......was one development he hadn’t caught up with. He realised he could turn his wheezing little fence hopper into a spectacular STOL by screwing this material on, and it wasn’t long before he.....

 

 

[Captain]

.......was one development he hadn’t caught up with. He realised he could turn his wheezing little fence hopper into a spectacular STOL by screwing this material on, and it wasn’t long before he.....

 

...... had entered his FH into the Alaskan STOL World Champioship and filed his flightplan direct via Tokyo and Seoul.

 

Cubcrafters immediately moved to ban this new Aussie technology but first they ......

 

Hiho's next project is to build the entire aircraft from barbed wire to gain all possible STOL benefits. Below is the full sized frame that he has prepared, and took down to the pub to show his mates.

 

 

 

[Captain]

"Well, you try lugging a full sized wire frame of a Cessna 310 down to the rubbety, and see how you go." said HiHo somewhat defensively.

 

HiHo's gunna give 'em buggery.

 

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

The Cubcrafters Committee, representatives of all makes of aircraft tended to agree with HiHo although they didn’t know what this “gauge” business was, so they allowed him to enter.

 

Even though His 310 had wing tanks and two engines, due to the internal Bernoulli effect of its internal twists it lifted off like a feather, and he was sitting in first place for the take off, but....

 

 

[Captain]

The Cubcrafters Committee, representatives of all makes of aircraft tended to agree with HiHo although they didn’t know what this “gauge” business was, so they allowed him to enter.

 

Even though His 310 had wing tanks and two engines, due to the internal Bernoulli effect of its internal twists it lifted off like a feather, and he was sitting in first place for the take off, but....

 

..... in typical HiHo fashion he did a high speed beat-up of the strip, delighting in the serenity of twin continentals at full stick (hoonavref).

 

"There goes HiHo beating it again" observed Mattmutt the native Alaskan who thought HiHo was flying with one hand, but then Hidy landed the 310 on a dime (it was actually a 1950 Zac) and he trotted over to his yellow Fence Hopper where he really showed them a thing or two (see the below video) and the crowd in unison  yelled "Nice jaarrb HidyHody" before they ......

 

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......realised who he was. "Hey Mukrayk" yelled Moptop "Do you realise who that is?" "Well bugger me" said Moptop, "it's that gangster Bony Mokbil, the one who ripped off our pension fund!" "And cost us all our frequent flyer points" (avref) replied Murayk, working himself into a right hissy fit (like FT). They....

 

 

[Captain]

.......realised who he was. "Hey Mukrayk" yelled Moptop "Do you realise who that is?" "Well bugger me" said Moptop, "it's that gangster Bony Mokbil, the one who ripped off our pension fund!" "And cost us all our frequent flyer points" (avref) replied Murayk, working himself into a right hissy fit (like FT). They....

 

..... plotted their revenge, but then Muckmessup said "But a 9' 5" full stop landing? That HiHo is a gun pilot (avref)" which all on Wreck Flying have known for years as he is one of the biggest wrecks of all the wrecks herewith assembled. "That STOL by that Osssie bloke was awesome and we need to show him some .......

 

 

[hihosland]

..short pitched balls, that's how we sort out all foreign types even if they...........

 

 

[turboplanner]

only have medium pitched balls or....................

 

 

[Captain]

only have medium pitched balls or....................

 

…… have painted them with creosote instead of pitch, but that's because ……...

 

 

[Captain]

…… have painted them with creosote instead of pitch, but that's because ……...

 

...….. of the white ants, which are a pain when they get up that high (they are worse than a tick and once they are in place your scrotum always aligns itself north-south), which can be ……....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....very handy in the bush. Turbo’s grandfather used to say “Ticks are your friend in the bush; If you have a dog with a tick, just walk behind him and he’s better than a compass.”  He’d know too, wild duck poaching involves getting deep into remote areas. In fact....

 

 

[Captain]

.....very handy in the bush. Turbo’s grandfather used to say “Ticks are your friend in the bush; If you have a dog with a tick, just walk behind him and he’s better than a compass.”  He’d know too, wild duck poaching involves getting deep into remote areas. In fact....

 

..... that was the normal way to cook them before basting them in an oven became the standard way, having been recommended by Maggie Stout in 1925. But Turdbro's grampy was a wild man with occasional weaknesses and a bitter .....