The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

the Captain on his way to Turkmenistan and suffering a touch of frost bite and altitude/attitude sickness  fell to the charms of ..............

 

.... the Hypoxia Siren, who looked stunning in her blue nail polish and happy carefree attitude to ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

......altitude, took him to new heights, and the Captain....

 

 

[Captain]

......altitude, took him to new heights, and the Captain....

 

……., who had spent a lot of time in his Sailplane at 19,000 ft looking at his nails and waiting for the Hypoxia Siren to bite, assured the TurboDeity that he could …….. 

 

Based on the below, this might be the cause

 

of the Captain's concentration and retention issues,

 

as his head has gone blue permanently too.

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....hypoxiate on demand. He had practiced this in his raghead (avref) days when people he took out sailing in his sailplane started talking politics when they were better qualified to talk temperature talk like "It's hot today", or "It's going to be hot tomorrow"  (they normally get this iniformation from the ABC which has helpful jingles. The problem is sailplanes don't have engines (nobody knows why but they have to be towed to start and have to come down when the rubber band unwinds. No engines = no noise, so if you take one of these boors up with you, you either have to belt him on the head and knock him out or you're worse off than a day in an Afghan IED attack.  This was where the Captain's very high IQ came in; he learnt the art of hypoxiating.

 

Hypoxia turns the head blue, and scares the passenger sh!tless, so he shut up, although even then some continue to whine. Not many people know that hypoxia also blocks the ears so even the most persistent religious or political would be's are blocked out, and the Captain taught himself how to hypoxiate.

 

We all wish he'd.................

 

 

[Captain]

Meanwhile Loxley had finally made it to Alaska for the STOL competition which he described in his departure celebrity media interviews as "A piece of psis"

 

He would have been there last week (and on time) except it took him 10 days to undo the steering lock on the 737.

 

Below is exclusive footage of his 5th and final attempt at the short landing comp, where his aim was clearly to beat 9' 5".

 

"I almost made it" he said with his usual air (avref) of CFS jaunty confidence "And would have kicked their arses if it was not for the effects of climate change".

 

"Oh, shut your cake-hole Greta" yelled the assembled crowd in anticipation for her comment once she arrived in Alaska on her bludged $2 million yacht.

 

"How dare you enjoy yourselves mucking about with aeroplanes" thought Great telepathically (& pathetically).

 

 

 

[Captain]

sailplanes don't have engines

 

Poor Turbo must be struggling again and I have taken the matter up with Planey to jointly draft a complaint, as the above quote is just plain (avref) misinformation and Fake News. (Turbs must have bought CNN or the ABC).

 

As, while an explanation should not be needed, Captain, ever the compassionate member of WF, explained that what the E meant in his ASW28-18E.

 

Below is another example to help Tink along.

 

 

 

[Captain]

Hypoxia turns the head blue, and scares the passenger sh!tless, so he shut up, although even then some continue to whine. Not many people know that hypoxia also blocks the ears so even the most persistent religious or political would be's are blocked out, and the Captain taught himself how to hypoxiate.

 

We all wish he'd.................

 

……….. go on up to 25,000 and do a complete job of it.

 

The WF Moderatti were shocked at this callous (CASAref) sentiment and .………..

 

 

[hihosland]

opined that 20,000 should work just as well as 25,000 and consume less fossil fuel (Greta ref) in the process thus making adequate allowance for...........

 

 

[Captain]

opined that 20,000 should work just as well as 25,000 and consume less fossil fuel (Greta ref) in the process thus making adequate allowance for...........

 

.... a slow death without being overly aggressive about it.

 

"Well said HiHo" chorused the Gloriatti Moderatti and their peanut (another CASAref) gallery who also urged .....

 

 

[hihosland]

Captains elevation to a suitable altitude attitude (avref)2 from whence he could proceed to .............

 

 

[onetrack]

......hyperventilate, just as he does on Rekflyne when he contributes to the NES.

 

Dear Readers of NES, you have to excuse the Nice Rats fantasies of flight (avref) on Rekflyne, it's due to hypoxia, caused by the levels of fantasy he achieves when he starts pounding his keyboard.

 

Having said that, the Nice Jedi Rat obviously has a likeable nature, but you probably wouldn't want to pat him, in case he reacts badly, and he bites you, and you get rabies.

 

It is apparent to many readers, that he's slightly rabid, particularly when he bounces all over the show (possible avref), when he contributes to the NES storyline.

 

Meanwhile, back on the fireline, Turbo was prepping his Zeke that he recovered from the PNG Jungle, and which he flew back to Australia below radar level, to land at his private airstrip just outside Moorabbistan.

 

Turbo could see major opportunity in using his new found toy, to act as a spotter for the Coulson airtankers. Fast, nimble, and able to turn inside a Spitfires sharpest turn, it was the perfect machine for the job.

 

There was one fly in the ointment, though. That was......

 

 

[Captain]

There was one fly in the ointment, though. That was......

 

…….. an Asian bot fly stuck in a jar of Vicks Vaporub.

 

But Onesie was compassionate and immediately went in to bat (cricketref) to rescue the fly.

 

"Wrack off Onesie" the fly said "As I am waiting to become a collectors item when this Vaporub turns into amber".

 

"That'll take a while" commented Amber who is a female (equalopportunityref) pilot (avref) and she was certain (confidenceref) that ……... 

 

They are big collector's items aren't they?

 

(It may actually be a Japanese Hornet and not a bot fly, but that adds to the drama in the NES.)

 

 

 

[onetrack]

....it was a Giant Japanese Hornet Queen, and not likely to be a fly at all".

 

But speaking of Hornets (avref) - because it appears Australia's F/A-18's, are on the cusp of becoming obsolete, one bright young MP has suggested they could be encased in amber and left to dry, thus increasing their value no end.

 

"After all, said the bright young MP, "We now live in an era where we realise that burning large quantities of fossil fuels (as F/A-18's are known to do), is just not O.K. for todays world".

 

"We need to find ways to fight wars so that it doesn't impact the environment, and kill people in large numbers", she went on. "O.K., maybe killing a few Mad Muzzies is O.K., but the rest of the world needs to be saved".

 

"Saved?? Did you say Saved??, said Scott from Marketing, straight back from his Pentecostal Church service, where he listened to a sermon from Israel Folau. "Yes, that's what's currently needed! We need to save more more people!"

 

"We've already saved a few thousand from the fires, no thanks to you, mate!", yelled a disgruntled passer-by. "Why don't you rack off back to Canberra, and come up with......

 

 

[Captain]

"We've already saved a few thousand from the fires, no thanks to you, mate!", yelled a disgruntled passer-by. "Why don't you rack off back to Canberra, and come up with......

 

…… a formula for artificial amber."

 

"Hey" said Amber again "What am I? Sliced apple (aviationcomputerref)? Or chopped liver? (liverref).

 

Amber was right about being indignant ("I liked it" said Dignant) as she was only one of …………….

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....the Forever Ambers, who were Old Money, not these Nouveau Riche types like One Track, who'd made a quick fortune selling D9 tracks for half price. It was only after the operator pulled it into gear and the dozer went round and round in a spin that the customers realised they'd been had, and OTs fine print was some of the best since the Magna Carta.

 

Forever Forever Savannah Amber, because that was her name, although her mother was continually calling her FFS Amber, ........

 

 

[Captain]

.....the Forever Ambers, who were Old Money, not these Nouveau Riche types like One Track, who'd made a quick fortune selling D9 tracks for half price. It was only after the operator pulled it into gear and the dozer went round and round in a spin that the customers realised they'd been had, and OTs fine print was some of the best since the Magna Carta.

 

Forever Forever Savannah Amber, because that was her name, although her mother was continually calling her FFS Amber, ........

 

..... "Did somebody call me into the NES" asked Magda.

 

"No, it was Magna" emphasized Turgid who was sick of Magda Subanskovich constantly trying to get a gig in the NES after her Sharon netball character was declared as sexist by Me Too and as fattist by the "2 of Me Too" movement.

 

"Do you want me to read a script?" she added.

 

"No mate, it was Magna Carta, now say it 20 times so that it will sink in" retorted Turdboy getting impatient.

 

This exchange started the NES on a detailed treatise on the strength of English Juris Prudence over the past 600 years and pre aviation (avref) unless of course Icarus gets a guernsey, as his wax wings mimicked a Drifter, which was one of the sidebar illustration in the Magna Carta,  and that proved that ......

 

 

[Captain]

Icarus pulling 8 G's during the first trial flights

 

of his initial design of the Drifter up near the Grampians.

 

Note the wing flex which is well within design requirements,

 

and his modesty undies since being marketed by Onesie.

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

..................Drifters had been around for a loong time, just as when you wanted to fly anywhere it would take a loong time unless they were fitted with Turbo's high speed electric motor, which...........

 

[Turbo notes that Icarus now has orange tips]

 

 

[Captain]

..................Drifters had been around for a loong time, just as when you wanted to fly anywhere it would take a loong time unless they were fitted with Turbo's high speed electric motor, which...........

 

......... has proven to be a revelation to the ..........

 

It is little known that Turbo's high speed electric motor was mentioned in the margin of the Magna Carta, by Nostradamus, by Douglas Macarthur and by Nelson Mandela.

 

 

[turboplanner]

...green community. "It's Zero-emission" he said "You just plug it in and away you go"

 

"We've got 600 metres of cord on these early ones" he said, "so it's probably best to design a circular runway, but we're developing an elastic cord, which will allow quite long flights"

 

He was overwhelmed with cash being thrown at him for these emission-free aircraft which...........

 

 

[Captain]

"We've got 600 metres of cord on these early ones" he said, "so it's probably best to design a circular runway, but we're developing an elastic cord, which will allow quite long flights" ……. which …….

 

……..... reminded Cappy of his control line flying days as a nipper, where he specialised in rat aircraft with his 1.5 and 2.5 cc Taipan diesels, and he found that his resultant giddyness made him very attractive to the young ladies down at the park, because he always made the most of his …………..

 

The 2.5 Taipan (miniatureavref) was the hottest thing on the block back in the day (as Cappy was the epitome of the little Aussie battler & couldn't afford a battery for a fancy pants glow plug engine). The red ones went faster.

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

......fly. 

 

Turbo remembers nothing but kinky cables, with most of the kinks around his legs, the plane flying more on centrifugal force than Bernoulli.

 

Wingovers were easy to start but.....

 

 

[onetrack]

....the kinky cables got the girls interested, when they heard Turbo mutter the words. Of course, the type of girls Turbo attracted, were the type that like a bit of BDSM.

 

"Oooh, you are a naughty thing", said Mandy, the airstrip groupie. She was a hot one, that Mandy, with her short dresses, platform heels, tatts, huge floppy boobs, and pink hair.

 

This was the reason Turbo got the cables wrapped around his legs - Mandy wobbled past on her platform heels, and Turbo totally lost concentration on flying.

 

If it had been a real aircraft, it would have ended up a write-off.

 

But Mandy was coming over to find out more about where Turbo kept these kinky cables in his house.

 

She really had the "hots" for him, because he was.......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....a natural chick magnet and....

 

 

[hihosland]

had his legs tied together with those kinky cables making him the original Mandy candy, Mandy having a certain soft spot for anything kinky especially.............