The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

.... when he says "Cesnas" he means Citations."

 

This stunned the SCs at the RC ....... in fact they were a complete bunch of Cs, but never as big as the ........

 

 

[hihosland]

confusion that reigned at the RC at the mention of citations

 

for at royal commissions citations are ink marks on parchment

 

and cessnas are anything with wings that is crashed and not a Boeing

 

drifters are fodder for legal aid

 

savs are burnt offering at Bunnings

 

and ........................

 

 

[Captain]

confusion that reigned at the RC at the mention of citations

 

for at royal commissions citations are ink marks on parchment

 

and cessnas are anything with wings that is crashed and not a Boeing

 

drifters are fodder for legal aid

 

savs are burnt offering at Bunnings

 

and ........................

 

……… the RC was pulled up immediately when the citations (avref) came flowing like hookers & cheap wine at an RAA Board Meeting.

 

Turbo was cited for being overly aggressive with some of his Wreck Flying (avref) posts - Proposed by Planey and seconded by Onesie.

 

Oneroot was cited for living in an Australian dependency - Proposed by Moderator #6 and seconded by Moderator #7.

 

bull was cited for being so far north and for unnecessarily protecting cane toads (he takes them for walkies on a lead) - Proposed by Turbo and seconded by the CTES (Can Toad Extinction Society).

 

Turbo was also cited for being excited about being short sighted, but that is another story that relates to his …….. 

 

 

[turboplanner]

....motion that "some people should be kicked out for being Motel Operators, and everyone knew they doubled their prices every time a rich Drifter owner walked through the door" which was interrupted by some dumb bunny saying "but then they might not let us in and we'd have to sleep under the wing", which then led to.....

 

 

[Captain]

....motion that "some people should be kicked out for being Motel Operators, and everyone knew they doubled their prices every time a rich Drifter owner walked through the door" which was interrupted by some dumb bunny saying "but then they might not let us in and we'd have to sleep under the wing", which then led to.....

 

…………….. the AUF becoming the largest outdoor camping organisation in the world.

 

As a result, they franchised their own designs of tents, chairs and all other related camping items. They made a motza which was tax free because of their carefully orchestrated tax-free status.

 

BCF was renamed AUFCF and the AUF Directors approved a cash offer to purchase the RAA via a well structured offer (including various death threats) that the RAA could not refuse.

 

The result is that thru careful and dynamic (if not bloodthirsty) leadership, plus a structure not dissimilar to a blend of  the New York Crime families & the latest Mexican Drug Cartels, Drifter owners (with their Thruster cousins also included) took over all aspects of aviation (avref) except for the odd RPT operation which they allowed to operate unaffected.

 

The AUF then provided all board members of CASA, Qantas and all but 3 members of the Federal Senate. This meant that ……………………..

 

 

[onetrack]

.....all aviation regulations were relaxed back to the state they were in 1917, much to the pleasure of numerous ancient aviators who enjoyed rather lax aviation rules, or no rules at all.

 

This led to a considerable state of near-anarchy in aviation, with offended parties taking pot-shots at each other from passing aircraft. It was a re-run of the Wild West, only it was held in the air.

 

However, all good things come to an end, and it was largely due to the fact that no-one was left in charge of the finances (they were all out flying anything they could get airborne in), that brought AUFCF undone.

 

The bankers declared a default, and appointed liquidators to try and salvaged what could be salvaged. Unfortunately, this led to more........

 

 

[hihosland]

calls for yet another royal commission

 

However the govt faced with a serious deficit of potential commissioners

 

called for volunteers from ..................

 

 

[turboplanner]

...........frenzied activity as the directors of the AUFCF staged demonstrations, and glued themselves to the Board Room chairs.

 

This to some extent showed up their management skills because the Sheriff just ordered his team to carry them out in the rain; as they walked along like bettles with the chairs stuck to their backs one of them summed up the general opinion: "Where's Scomo" he yelled, but......Scomo had learnt his lesson and......

 

 

[hihosland]

grabbed his latest hat

 

cried  "how good is that"

 

 then hailed a passing uber drifter

 

with a wish for something swifter

 

and a willow with which to bat

 

...............

 

 

[turboplanner]

......and that was that.

 

However.....

 

 

[onetrack]

....in an unrelated exciting discovery, a press release was put out by Chrysler, outlining a brand new, revolutionary design, reduction transmission, they'd developed.

 

Several ancient AUFCF pilots realised that here was a fabulous new motoring invention that could be put to use in Drifters, to provide a vastly improved range of propeller speeds, and a major gain in engine torque transfer to the prop.

 

What was even more exciting, Chrysler had freely explained all the intricate design details on a video - and had even include additional troubleshooting and repair information!

 

"This is absolutely revolutionary, and we are so lucky to be able to acquire this technology!", exclaimed the Nice Jedi Rat (keeping in mind, that this is the Chinese Year of the Rat, so you can't get any luckier than that!)

 

"With this new reduction transmission, the performance of a Drifter will start to approach that of a King Air B200! We'll be able to.........

 

(please watch the video carefully, in case you miss the important, descriptive parts ....)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

"........carry out Commercial operations"

 

Turbo, who had sat through many presentations like the video, knew the the presenter had been preparing that short video for six months, searching through the entire history of the Industrial Revolution, Machinery's Handbook version 96, the book "how to be an academic", and the Star Wars series to make sure he had every term industry-perfect; the equivalent of briefing a journalist that the crashed aircraft in front of them was an "A43366 Version 6, but built under licence to the B3780 Flying Tornado specification" which took up the entire word-allowance of the editor, so was abbreviated by agreement with the International Journalists Association to "Cessna"  

 

He knew exactly what he meant by each inter-locking term, and so did Turbo.

 

"It's just an inter-active bolt on module to turn lineal forces into magnetorial reactions" he said "I should have thought about it myself; it does away with the hydroghen bags, and.....

 

 

[hihosland]

"How good is that?"

 

said the Rat in the hat

 

with his eye on the sky

 

in Hawaii

 

"That" said the prat on the mat 

 

is the smoke from the coke

 

that .......................

 

 

[Captain]

...... makes the NES such a delightful academic experience" observed bull. "It's great when you can have a deep technical thinker like Stephen Turbine, a poet laureate like HiHo Lennon and then add Onesie to the mix, who is a ......

 

 

[hihosland]

alto since his onesie suit did shrink in the wash

 

but never to be daunted by such minor inconveninces

 

he just straddled the drifter and .................

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......opened the throttle without reading the instructions. What happened next.......

 

 

[Captain]

.......opened the throttle without reading the instructions. What happened next.......

 

.... was the type of spectacular happening that new chapters of the NES are justified in being based on, which drags in hundreds of new readers both foreign and domestic, and in this case the new title was ......

 

 

[hihosland]

"getting back on the Drifter"

 

not like the  piker

 

who.....................

 

 

[onetrack]

.....chose to be a hitchhiker

 

and then got picked up by a biker

 

who turned out to be transgender

 

and who said his name was Brenda

 

which caused Cappy to like her.........

 

 

[Captain]

.....chose to be a hitchhiker

 

and then got picked up by a biker

 

who turned out to be transgender

 

and who said his name was Brenda

 

which caused Cappy to like her.........

 

…… XXXX …………………. a lot, ...............… but Tink, having been coached by Eeeen and Planey, tried to defuse the entire situation by …………..

 

 

[Captain]

…… XXXX …………………. a lot, ...............… but Tink, having been coached by Eeeen and Planey, tried to defuse the entire situation by …………..

 

...... using his skills and training as a State, Federal, ASIO & INTERPOL certified Hostage Negotiator, where he was a ................

 

 

[hihosland]

chump on a stump

 

emulating a trump

 

threatening a tweeting

 

with nary a meeting

 

like Mary the mugwump

 

who went all ballistic

 

over Planey's ................

 

 

[Captain]

chump on a stump

 

emulating a trump

 

threatening a tweeting

 

with nary a meeting

 

like Mary the mugwump

 

who went all ballistic

 

over Planey's ................

 

.... slump of the lump in his sump.

 

"How dare you" said the FlyingVizla, who knew a thing or two about .....

 

 

[onetrack]

.....a thing or three. "How dare you!", she repeated. "How dare you bring the AUFCF into disrepute by bringing in a Trained Hostage Negotiator? That's the last thing we need, we're already on the nose!"

 

"Who put what on its nose??", inquired the Cappy, suddenly raised from his mid-afternoon, post-prandial torpor, at the mention of something even remotely av ref.

 

"Go back to sleep, you silly old man", said FlyingVizla. "That big lunch, downed with 3 bottles of Brown Bros, and followed by the huge dessert pudding, has been too much for you!"

 

"But I heard someone put something on its nose!", protested Cappy. "No, you didn't", said Flying Vizla, "You're on the nose, right about now!!"

 

Then Turbo stepped through the door. He said, "I heard there was......

 

 

[hihosland]

On vhf through my Bose

 

There's trouble with a nose

 

That got in range of Cappy

 

And his depends nappy

 

That 'll need more than a rose

 

To.......