The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.......there wasn’t a hand to be seen while they were giving evidence.

Meanwhile a fight had broken out in the Gumly Gumly RSL after Locksie had taken advantage of Mavis’s absence to attend the CWA Bridge night in hs BoB outfit, and....

[onetrack]

...... along with Cappy wearing his best bright green mankini, there was total uproar in the Hall, along with numerous card tables being overturned, as the CWA ladies all jostled each other for a look, just like a David Jones Boxing Day sale.

The fighting pair were promptly separated and arrested by a Flying Squad of Police, who had arrived straight from the Lawyer X hearings, thus leaving a third of Melbourne with no Police on duty at all.

"This is just outrageous!", exclaimed a big-bosomed matron, who was obviously someone of high standing in the CWA, judging by the......

[turboplanner]

.....Blazer and the badge with her name on it. Normally she was very quiet and formal, but without Mavis there to set the standard it was clear she was out of control. Locksie's face was buried between her appendages and he was gasping for air, so he did the only thing a fireman could do; he grabbed for his fire axle in its holster, and then......

[hihosland]

... the day was saved by Cappy skipping past in that bright green manikini of his catching the outraged matron's attention, she now seriously outraged shook Locksie free, relieved him of the fireman's axe and stormed after Cappy with intent to ..........

[Captain]

…….. remove whatever man-bits he had in what would thereafter be known as his bright green "Kini", but this had major implications for the aviation community as a whole, and for Onesie in particular, as that ……..

[turboplanner]

....action, which might not cause too much damage to Captain, because thre was very little to remove, would result in OT becomeing unbalanced and operating outside his envelope (avref), which could mean.......

[Captain]

……. that Onesie would have additional wait and balance issues.

 

At the moment Onesie is a bit tail heavy and everyone has to wait while Onesie tries to balance his multi-million $ budget for his ……….

[onetrack]

.... new Drifter Mk VII project (avref), which combines no less than two Turboencabulators with four twin-turbocharged HKS 700E engines, designed to ensure that the Mk VII can keep up with the heavies in the circuit.

However, it soon became obvious that a new financier would be needed, as the financier that Onetrack had organised was found to be also financing another American brand of ultralight (avref) in competition with the Drifter.

A major conflict of interest such as this was untenable, so Onetrack put the word out amongst the CWA ladies, for them to ask their farming hubbies if they had any spare cheque accounts, with a few hundred thousand lazy dollars lying around.

The result was, Onetrack was able to source the required $18.6M in a matter of hours, once all those lazy farm accounts were identified and submitted for investment purposes.

"This is just amazing!", exclaimed Cappy. "Onetrack is a financing genius, and this move will put the Australian Ultralight movement (avref) back up over GA as an aviation force (avref), and this will mean that.....

[turboplanner]

............those jargon-spouting YSBS XXXXX will be at the bottom of the heap facing CASA checks like we used to, and.....

[Captain]

AS AN ASIDE FOR OUR THOUSANDS OF READERS .....

This is just amazing!", exclaimed Cappy. "Onetrack is a financing genius, and

WITH TURBO'S PROVEN COMMERCIAL ACUMEN DERIVED FROM HIS NUMEROUS SUCCESSFUL CORPORATE ENTERPRISES (Which rival those of Elon Gate), THE DEMONSTRABLE SKILLS OF THE LEADING NES'ERS NOW SPAN THE COUNTRY FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA (WELL FROM THE SLUMS & SYRINGES OF MOORABIN TO THE EMPTY HALF BUILT INDIAN JOINTS OF PEPPERMINT GROVE).

 

HOW LUCKY WE ARE.

[Captain]

............those jargon-spouting YSBS XXXXX will be at the bottom of the heap facing CASA checks like we used to, and.....

....... having CASA medical which involves having a gloved finger surgically inserted into ........

[turboplanner]

......their left ear to check for a.......

[hihosland]

... passage clear through to the right ear thus indicating a.............

[onetrack]

.... large empty opening between the ears - a primary requirement for owning and operating aircraft, as many have found. However, when one medic inserted a gloved finger into Cappys ear, he was quite concerned to find a metallic object.

"Oh, don't worry about that!", said Cappy, that's the screw that floats around in my head on a random basis. You know the old saying - 'a screw loose up top'? - well, they based that saying on the findings in my head, during my last medical (avref). It doesn't stop me from flying, though, even though they placed conditions on my licence." "Exactly what were those conditions?", said Hi-Ho with some concern. "People need to know when there's a bloke flying around with a screw loose, or they.....

[Captain]

"People need to know when there's a bloke flying around with a screw loose, or they.....

......... might just think he is from Mextoria".

 

Tinky was much more worried about a golden screw that had been in his navel since berth.

 

One day he plucked up the courage to undo the screw and he wound and wound it out until it was about 200 mm long and finally came right out.

 

He was relieved as there was no blood & no pain, so he stood up to head out to the airport ..... and his bum fell off.

 

Turdy was ........

[turboplanner]

.........perplexed; he wasn't going to by flying anywhere because he didn't have a seat. What could he do? Could he.......

[hihosland]

... persuade Mavis to allow him to perch on her lap and ................

[Captain]

……… by doing that he was guaranteed to be able to …….

[onetrack]

...... rise to the occasion, and get set to tip some $$$'s into the exciting Drifter Mk VII project. But just as he pulled out his chequebook, Cappy drew him aside.

"Look, mate", he said, "I don't want to rain on your parade, but you do know what's going on here, don't you?"

"No, what IS going on?", said Turbs in surprise, "I want to be in on this deal, this is just what we need, to inject some life back into the RA scene! (avref). Imagine what this little powerhouse will do for RA? It's like Ford producing the new Mustang!"

"Mate", said Cappy solemnly, "I only wish it were true. But this Onesie bloke is a con-artist of the highest order, he's going to do a Boeing - sell you an aircraft that has inherent instability in its design, and then leave you picking up the losses when you can't fly it!"

"Nah!, I can't believe that! Onetrack is a fine upstanding gent with a long history of involvement in W.A. business ventures, he knows exactly what RA want, and he's going to deliver it!"

At that point, the PM rocked up to add his backing to the venture. Scott spoke long and eloquently about the future jobs potential of the project, the substantial increase in RA membership, and the joys of......

[hihosland]

getting re elected, an aim greatly desired by various RAAus folk intent on Drifter drifting and ...................

[Captain]

getting re elected, an aim greatly desired by various RAAus folk intent on Drifter drifting and ...................

…….. Scot soon realised that a drifting Drifter which flies like a 737 Max, fits in well with Scott's plan to put XXXX on the Labor Opposition's retraining & reskilling program, where it can be proposed that in 2030 when Coal Miners who are unable to become PhD students and advertising executives, could be retrained to fly Drifters, each fitted with 50 litre water dump tanks to assist with next year's fire season when they will all ...…...

[turboplanner]

.......become part of the RAAF fleet complete with roundels, and the pilots will be required to wear uniforms. In Canberra the CiC Act 2020 will be passed. This Act not only makes the Prime Minister Commander in Chief of Australia's Defence Department, but allows him to override the laws of the States, so that at the first whiff of smoke he can order the Drifters to Attack [we know they don't have guns, but it's jargon for "turn your water tank taps on"] and hitch a ride to the fire scene from wherever he may be holidaying. The Act also authorises him to shake anyone's hand whether they are Labor or not, and is also authorised to give away free beers if necessary. or...............

[onetrack]

....in the case of a major fire that threatens Canberra and the Parliamentary Dining Room, then Scotty will be handing out free bottles of Glenfiddich to anyone in a Drifter who sacrifices himself and his aircraft to save the Dining Room.

Meantimes, Albo was getting ready to go on a Parliamentary rampage after he smelt political blood with Scottys "Xi Jinping" moment, by making himself CiC of Defence.

"This is but one step away from Scott Morrison declaring himself PM for life!" raged Albo. "What a lot of Rot!", exclaimed Scotty. "This is just what we could expect, from someone who couldn't .......

[turboplanner]

"...tell a DC3 from a Melbourne tram when he was Minister for Aviation; in fact he thought he was in charge of aviaries, and actuall told reporters he loved parrots and......."

[Captain]

………. those little finches with the bright yellow on their breasts (Maveref) which ………..