turboplanner Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 ....23,000 ft. “That’s not the Dead Sea!” yelled OT. “How can you be so sure?” asked Mustapha “Because I’ve flown around the Dead Sea since it was just sick” replied OT, “we’re over......”
onetrack Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 ...the Indian Ocean!! I don't know what's going on, did you do a compass check before we left??" Just then, OT noticed the huge cast iron frypan in front of Mustafa's feet. "WTF is that huge iron FRYPAN doing there?", he exclaimed. "Well, I thought I'd bring it along, it case we had to put down somewhere remote, and we'll need that to make a good Gozleme!", said Mustafa. "Gozleme!! I'll give you Gozleme, you stupid XXXXX!! You've just reversed the compass with that, we're flying WEST instead of EAST!! At that, OT shoved the throttle forward and banked for a wide 180° turn. "We're an hour behind schedule already, because of your idiocy in wrecking the compass accuracy, you fool! Throw the frypan overboard!!" At that, Mustafa reluctantly heaved the frypan out the side window, and he watched as it gyrated down and down, until.......
Captain Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 ...... he heard it go kerplunk right next to some floating pieces of 777 wreckage. On reading post #12027 the HF Szar made a note in his little book that Onesie and all other pilots worldwide must attend a 5 day live in course on directional dead reckoning and the mortal dangers of frypans (and middle eastern gozleme gobblers). This drew cries of racism towards the gobblers and an anti chinese bias, as they make all the frypans, together with the .........
turboplanner Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 ......Drifter Support Group for ininuating that a Drifter can't even handle the weight of a fry pan. The pan drifted down and eventually hit Hergolt Degroel who was walking his dog in Toegloyne St, Woeflyne, in Denmark. Hergolt loved to walk next to the woods and watch the birds, but the last thing he needed was one with a handle, especially since it flattened his dog. "What is.........."
Captain Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 (edited) ... walking right beside him. Hergolt Degroel had made his fortune as a character allied to Scrooge McDuck in the early cartoons where he was a mate of Gyro Gearloose (avref), was related thru casual sex to Ludwig von Drake and was also an Adventure Capitalist like Scrooge and Turbo,, prior to little Stevie Spielburg casting him as ...... Edited March 7, 2020 by Captain
turboplanner Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 .....Son of Forest Gump. Hergolt had a limp, which stuffed up the running scenes. They tried taking the shockers out of an old Buick Riviera Convertible and strapping him to the boot then filming the top half, but a texting driver in a Jimmy put an end to that and there's not much point in filming someone with two legs in plaster sitting at a bus stop telling people life is like a box of chocolates in a slightly higher voice than Forest's, so Hergolt.........
Captain Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 ...... settled for the part as Jenny, which was mostly horizontal anyway ................. or if Hergolt's legs needed amputation after the car cleaned him up, he had 1st dibs on the part as Captain Dan, although "Capt Hergolt" might have been a bit of an issue for acceptance by American viewers, but .......
turboplanner Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 ........maybe it would work if they had him driving the beat up old Buick. Turbo negotiated a part in the movie for the Drifter with OT playing a washed out pilot fresh from Afghanistan, with Cappy playing his RIO, and Turbo cast as the long suffering mechanic who always managed to miss someone. On the bats was Planey, and Brine played the Tower Operator. the trick was how to get this team front and centre in a film about SOFG, and OT suggested .......................
onetrack Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 ....that the scene was set for a total box office flop, with such a list of "unknown names" as stars. "What we really need is some top-name actors", said Cappy thoughtfully. "I know an actress", he said, "and she'll do anything....
Captain Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 ........maybe it would work if they had him driving the beat up old Buick. Turbo negotiated a part in the movie for the Drifter with OT playing a washed out pilot fresh from Afghanistan, with Cappy playing his RIO, and Turbo cast as the long suffering mechanic who always managed to miss someone. On the bats was Planey, and Brine played the Tower Operator. the trick was how to get this team front and centre in a film about SOFG, and OT suggested ....................... "Hey Turbo? What am I? Chopped liver" yelled bull from his croc farm at his Bone Waters Canal Development & Marina. "I started corresponding with both Hergolt and Ludwig von Drake when we were pen-pals back when I was a little tacker (and back then I wasn't ignored as I am now in your crappy post #12033) and presently I am .....................
Captain Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 ....that the scene was set for a total box office flop, with such a list of "unknown names" as stars. "What we really need is some top-name actors", said Cappy thoughtfully. "I know an actress", he said, "and she'll do anything.... ……… that the creative environment requires, even that special thing that UniRoot likes so much, to be certain that …...……..
turboplanner Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 ......if bull is cast as Jean Van Damme, and can do the splits at the audition, he’s in and we can always cast Brine as Rebel Wilson or Bette Midler and make it a musical with....
Captain Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 ......... Turbo doing his usual Barbara Streisand impression, where he looks identical to her character in Yentl and which in the past has always led him to .......
turboplanner Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 ..........break Box Office records and win awards, because he gets his makeup just right and.....
Captain Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) ...... spends each Saturday at the Wailing Wall in Haifa, which cost him a fortune in oversize pistons for the drifter, but Barb/Tink had his/her usual way around the issue when he/she ......... [it is little known that the Wailing Wall is known by the Palestinians as the Buraq Wall, named in tribute & admiration of Turbo's time spent as the US President, which he did in an effort to help mankind (his candidacy only cost him $70 million and was well worth it.)] Edited March 8, 2020 by Captain
onetrack Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 ....managed to sheet home the bill for the oversized pistons to his political expense account, which was, fortunately for him, rarely checked. "Yes, I spent some serious amount of time assuring my constituents (mostly the inordinately wealthy Jews of Melbourne) that it was money well spent", said Turbs. "I told them I got to whisper advice to Netanyahu, when we were leaning against the Wall - which advice of course, he failed to take notice of, and now he's ended up with an unworkable minority Govt after the latest election results are in, and he's spewing about it." "I simply told him he just needed to spend a lot more taxpayers money on vote-grabbing handouts, but he failed to understand that, and he failed to understand I'm the best at working the system to....."
Captain Posted March 9, 2020 Posted March 9, 2020 ...... build Turbine Industries into that company that I need it to be to take on the Elongated Muskstick." But, to our thousands of dear readers, do you realize the mammoth times in which we now live? Viz .... as a result of Turbo's dedicated witness at the Haifa Wailing Wall, an entire religion has dumped Jerusalem as their spiritual capital and has adopted Haifa as their new centre of operations ...... and all because of Turbo's little messiah complex and him leaning up against Yosse Finklestein's wall outside the Haifa Hilton. "I wish he would bugger off" said Yosse and explained further "This Aussie bloke used to come over here for a tinkle after having his pre-flight skinful in the pub, and as a result, I now have the franchise for a new temple, and where the heck am I going to get the money to build a new Ark of the Turbonant?" Yosse's concerns were ........
turboplanner Posted March 9, 2020 Posted March 9, 2020 .....groundless of course. Turbo couldn't afford the Wall story to get out because this would be offensive to Americans, so he offered Finklestein a cool $50 mil for the Wall, and now tens of thousands per day were kissing it, and..........
onetrack Posted March 9, 2020 Posted March 9, 2020 .... the airlines were once again doing a roaring trade, flying the religious to the Wall, after hearing that the Messiah had returned and spoken to Netanyahu at the Wall. "He's not the Messiah!" wailed Cappy. "He just likes to think he is, and he doesn't put paid to any rumours that he is! He's not the Messiah, he's just a very naughty boy! Now, go away!!" At that, the waiting crowd promptly burst into the chorus line from......
turboplanner Posted March 9, 2020 Posted March 9, 2020 ......just about to split her pants when up strolled bull who had.......
Captain Posted March 9, 2020 Posted March 9, 2020 ....... invented a new guava, banana & mango based anti pants splitting cream (which he hoped he can onlicense to Turbine Enterprises at a hefty margin .......... and Turdy had previously shown considerable interest as he never misses a trick). "Come here Livi and I'll rub this on to fix that split in your dacks. No, don't worry about taking them off." The application of the cream was a great .......
turboplanner Posted March 9, 2020 Posted March 9, 2020 .......success, after Turbo negotiated for it to be done on stage live with a handy $250 spotters fee for bull. The pants were sold recently, the joints still perfectly adhered. bull can be poud......
Captain Posted March 10, 2020 Posted March 10, 2020 .......success, after Turbo negotiated for it to be done on stage live with a handy $250 spotters fee for bull. The pants were sold recently, the joints still perfectly adhered. bull can be poud...... …… and he has been fighting Olivia off ever since bull and John T became an item. "Flying a 707 beats my Tyro any day, but I must admit that Olivia did offer certain ……...
turboplanner Posted March 10, 2020 Posted March 10, 2020 “........privileges like three cooked meals a......”
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