The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

she'll be comin' and a comin'

Yeee Haaaa BigBoldPete has returned :big_grin:

 

(and not a moment too soon I'm tippin') ;);)

 

Now, who's doin' what to whom :yuk:

"Welcome back Peter" said his adoring public "The world is back on it's axis and the NES is back on track"

 

"OY" said the Riverland Lass. "Me and my Mum and my Nan are the main and only female players in this here NES and there is no room for another of that gender, so why don't you go and do a BigPete?"

"So did Minnie 'do-you' as I suggested?" the Lass asked Peter "And was she better than I was?"

 

"When is that turbo charged steam engine like stud, Tubbo, coming back from Japan?" pined her Nanna "As I long to have some of his sushi roll, and am I correct to assume that McAhlock has gone back to visit his rello's in Scotland?" she asked sadly with her teeth back in.

 

No, they are ....................

 

My Aunt is a comin' and a comin' around the mountain, in the garden. "He's not a mountain" she said 'He's just a little overweight, but his pen still works"

 

 

 

EDIT Thur - Le Crapper notices today that while our McAhlovachian mate might be a Scotty, he has spent the dough with Ian and has become a new shiney gold plated member. (So that should get the lass's eyes and elsewhere a twitching) Very impressive and goes well with his SportSzar. But the Locky's rates will go up for a while now, so don't anyone here break their keys off in their locks.

 

 

[ahlocks]

...am I correct to assume that McAhlock has gone back to visit his rello's in Scotland?"

"Do you know bigpete:question:" asked Lovak of the Echuca Village CFA team, while up at Eildon on Tuesday for the 'big blow' :ah_oh:. "You mean the bloke with the camo coloured thong that hangs around the airfield?" they replied. "Nah, he's a myth. A bit like that drop bear that's hanging from the tree over there."

 

Jez Pete, one of the crew was young! She looked bloody nervous in her brand spanking new gear! We did offer to drag her through some ash and dirt so she wouldn't attract attention :devil:. She declined - Nice kid and crew!

 

EDIT Thur - Le Crapper notices today that while our McAhlovachian mate might be a Scotty, he has spent the dough with Ian and has become a new shiney gold plated member. (So that should get the lass's eyes and elsewhere a twitching) Very impressive and goes well with his SportSzar. But the Locky's rates will go up for a while now, so don't anyone here break their keys off in their locks.

A bit embarassmented by the flash tag actually ....Would rather be a closet subscriber. You know, plain brown wrapping....just like the magazines.

 

....Have actually done a 'lost keys' call on a Jabby. Was a freebie though. The guy was a priest visiting WGA.

 

 

[Captain]

Jez Pete, one of the crew was young! She looked bloody nervous in her brand spanking new gear! We did offer to drag her through some ash and dirt so she wouldn't attract attention :devil:. She declined - Nice kid and crew!

........................................

 

....Have actually done a 'lost keys' call on a Jabby. Was a freebie though. The guy was a priest visiting WGA.

"So the Ahlocks has had a pretty good week" observed Minnie "As while he was down south pretending to save Mexico, he was actually searching for the blonde CFA Lass in overalls and a black tank top of whom he had a fleeting glance the weekend before, and who has unknowingly stolen what heart he has left".

 

"And then he does a favour for a Sky Pilot, so as to get the job of Locky at the Pearly Gates, where a Chubb 978XL and a 10 figure combination is the minimum spec, so as to keep out the riff-raff" she added "But watch out as St Peter is regularly losing the keys and he keeps forgetting the code (he is getting on, you know)".

 

"But wait" said Pete "While you may have bought your way in with a freebie, you own a Rotax, do you not?"

 

"Yes" said SportSzarovac 'But ...................

 

"Silence" said Peter (Saint, not Big) "Get thee downstairs, as the big-fella has a 3300 in his 230 and won't allow anyone in here who runs an engine above 3400 rpm or has a gearbox and/or a sprag clutch"

 

"But what about .................

 

 

[BigPete]

OMGosh :ah_oh: - it's true - God flys a Jabiru. :thumb_up: And you read it right here in the NES....:heart:

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

[ahlocks]

"But what about .................

....all the clocks over there on the wall?" quizzed McLovak:question:

 

"Oh, they are tug-o-meters." replied St Peter .

 

"Every time someone plays with themselves, the hands on the clock advances by one minute."

 

"See overthere, there's Turbo's showing half past eight , HiHo's hasn't moved in days ;) and WelcomebackPete's has gone missing!" :raise_eyebrow:

 

"Where's the Krapatan's?" McLovak asked.:devil:

 

"Oh, his is over there on the desk .... We've been using it as a fan" :raise_eyebrow::ah_oh:

 

===============

 

If god flies a Jabiru(e), to whom does he pray if the wings melt midflight??i_dunno:question:

 

(fair chance I'm gunna cop it for this one.....)

 

 

[BigPete]

Bloody hell, Captain :heart: - they've got you nailed.

 

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

(Yes, we know, you've never been so insulted.......)

 

 

[Captain]

OMGosh :ah_oh: - it's true - God flys a Jabiru. :thumb_up: And you read it right here in the NES....

Le Crepe wants to make it absolutely clear to those NES'ers of a religious persuasion that it was not HE that mentioned the "G" word.

 

"Where's the Krapatan's?" McLovak asked."Oh, his is over there on the desk .... We've been using it as a fan"

And Le Tugger wants to also make it clear that he thinks that mastication is an essential part of life's broard tapestry.

 

"If you go steady with me, you'll never have to make that clock move again" said the Nanna.

 

"I'm not sure about that" said Le Tug, "As at least I know all of the special things that I like (such as Portugese Tarts)"

 

"I can speak Portugese" said Nanna "Obrigard, and undo this" she added.

 

Just then, Le Tugger turned to/on his disloyal scottish Czech ex-mate and said "A bloke makes 1 little joke about the Big Fella and a Rotax and you go ape .....................

 

My Aunt is shocked & concerned that I might have fondled my pen in her garden in order to advance the clock for daylight savings

 

 

[ahlocks]

McLovaksky is fearful :ah_oh::confused: of revenge being plotted while desperately trying to remove the image of how the Le Krappe will wind the clock back in April i_dunno from his mind.:confused:

 

"Me help me! the 3300 has popped a pot!" Came a cry from overhead. All eyes turned skyward as <insert deity of choice> tried to coax the motor back to life.

 

"If only I had a Rotoryaxe in this thing I'd be........"

 

=======================

 

The sundial in the aunts garden is fast

 

 

[Captain]

McLovaksky is fearful :ah_oh::confused: of revenge

And rightly so, for Ahlocks owns a SportSzar and calls ME a w*nker?

 

while desperately trying to remove the image of how the Le Krappe will wind the clock back in April from his mind.

Le Krappee has been experimenting (specifically for the benifit of mankind as a whole) and has found that the clock goes backwards if you change hands.

 

"And I've been watching" said Nanna.

 

"If only I had a Rotoryaxe in this thing I'd be........"

...... I'd be ....... 2 cylinders short of a good engine, 3000 revs over the limit and up sh*tter's ditch without an Angel"

 

"G'day BigBoy" said Nanna "What's your name? .............................

 

 

[ahlocks]

And rightly so, for Ahlocks owns a SportSzar and calls ME a w*nker?

Apparently the older Sportszars are "comical" according to a thread in the sportstar forum. :raise_eyebrow: ....S'pos this means the drivers are clowns i_dunno as well as w*nkers :black_eye:

 

"G'day BigBoy" said Nanna "What's your name? .............................

"Bozo the chook feeder, Nanna. And what can I do you for...."

 

addendum:

 

Got a flash tag now I see Krapatain :thumb_up: (to win back Nanna?)

 

Me thinks there be mucho fun :clown: to be had with the title change thingy :devil:...until GuruIan gets the irits with the tom foolery.

 

=======================

 

A pen in the hand is not worth two in the bush. Much to the delight of Nanna

 

 

[Captain]

........ from overhead. All eyes turned skyward as Buddha tried to coax the motor back to life.

And the engine fired up again and ran like a Swiss watch.

 

"I'd better land" said the rotund deity "As the problem appears to be that cheap Rotaryaxe fuel filter that I installed at the last 100 hourly"

 

So Buddha landed, with the perfect non-left-turning touchdown that only a deity (and BigPete) can achieve, and as he taxied over to the fuel bowser a CASA inspector bloke sprang from the back of the dunny where he had been advancing his clock, wandered over and said "You look a bit on the round side mate (and a bit gold plated too), can I check the currency of your ERSA & maps, and let's do a check on your MTOW too"

 

"Ok, cobber" was the deititious reply "I'll just ............................

 

Le Tugger has decided to offend various other religions too, in the garden

 

 

[hihosland]

.......... turn my back while you comply with the "gentlemen please adjust your dress " sign after which .........

 

=============

 

Waiter! there's a fly in my garden

 

 

[Captain]

"Bozo the chook feeder, Nanna. And what can I do you for...."

"If you can multiply the sourdough rolls & the little fishies, then the 1st thing you can do for me is supply an unlimited quantity of sausage" said Nanna with a gleam in her eye and her teeth in a glass.

 

"Now I'm off to confession to clear the way for some fun times" she said, and added "There is a lineup at confession these days. And the line is always full of Rotaryaxe owners trying to cleanse their sins and the decisions that they regret, particularly now that an 11th commandment has been added by Saint Rod, about air cooling and gearbox servicing."

 

The gearbox of my Aunt is in pieces in the garden, and the her clutch is slipping (& yes, I did say Clutch)

 

 

[ahlocks]

"If you can multiply the sourdough rolls & the little fishies...

"You've got me confused with the wrong bloke, Nanna!" Scoffed Bozo , with bow tie twirling :clown: (and hand on it as usual ). "I'm the one that has seen the burning bush (Otto bin, street sign, stolen car and the occasional B double...) and I'm here to part the sea (of jabarues) and lead you to the enlightenment fom other lands."

 

"For with 100 ponies at 5000 rpm humming through the seat of your pants, you never fly alone. You will always be accompanied with a traveller......"

 

 

[Captain]

"For with 100 ponies at 5000 rpm humming through the seat of your pants, you never fly alone. You will always be accompanied with a traveller......"

"My grand-daughter and I love it when you talk dirty, dear ahlocks, and Harold-Leujah ..... we have seen the light. There can surely be nothing better than 4 cylinders of twin carbied muscle throbbing away out in front of you." said the Netherland Nanna.

 

"And this proves that BigPete was telling us porkies while he was trying to do the same" she added "As he told the Lass that a single bing was all she needed in order to achieve complete satisfaction (aviation wise)."

 

"That's not true" said ................................

 

My Aunt's Austrian bleischtift is being used to fill in the Warranty Form, in the garden.

 

 

[hihosland]

that's not true said.......

 

Nana emerging from under lock's wing

 

"truly the thing

 

is with double the bing

 

there's double the fling

 

making song to sing.

 

'cause thems with a single

 

is likely stay single

 

and who ever believed that

 

air cooled was cool? ............

 

With 3.5 mega hits on the pen in the garden the aunt is quite giddy tracking admin's whirrling tugometer

 

 

[ahlocks]

.....4 cylinders of twin carbied muscle throbbing away out in front of you." said the Netherland Nanna.

"....Err, well no...." mused Bozovzky . "Throbbing is not how one would describe a rotaryaxe....." i_dunno "It's more like the scream of a WRX just before it throws itself to bits :confused: or two dozen sewing machines doing a cross stitch run."

 

"Say What???" screamed Nanna, "Can't hear a bloody thing 'cuz of me tinnitus"

 

Understanding, Bozovzky reached forward and keyed the ignition to off.

 

THUMP:exclamation: ...... silence....., The Rotoraxe came to its customary stop :raise_eyebrow:.

 

"What was it that just flung off the front?" queried Nanna, as she pushed the fillings back into her teeth with her tongue. "Ah, don't worry about that bit", shrugged Bozo flippantly , "There's another two of them to go, before we have to worry...."

 

================

 

The blade from the fan might land in the aunt's garden, dislodging the pen that is placed on the warranty form.

 

 

[Captain]

"Say What???" screamed Nanna, "Can't hear a bloody thing 'cuz of me tinnitus"

"No, I got that wrong" said Nanna 'I have tittieness, not that ringing in my ears"

 

For as HiHo contributes in prose,

 

Yet every forum member knows

 

When put to the test

 

A J comes out best

 

While the R owners are in shock

 

From regularly advancing their clock

 

But for HiHo to say

 

That Admin might also be having a play

 

From just 3.5 million hits

 

Which must give competing websites the s**ts (the splatters)

 

For nothing else matters

 

Than to fly and have fun

 

With an occasional NES pun

 

And a sprinkle of luck

 

While Nanna and the Lass have a ................. nice wine.

 

The bits that fell into the garden will be posted back with the warranty sheet

 

 

[ahlocks]

"It's my clock and I'll advance it when ever I want!" Screamed Bozoak in a foot stamping tantrum.

 

"Such a waste.." Lamented Nanna...:broken_heart:

 

==================

 

SD 2009/666

 

The whine in Jabiru(e) engines has been identified and an engineering solution has been developed! - L2 and LAMEs are advised to remove the owners from the vicinity when testing for this anomaly.....:devil:

 

 

[Captain]

"It's my clock and I'll advance it when ever I want!"

And there, dear readers, lies the root of the Ahlovachian's problems (not that there is anything wrong with that).

 

But why does his wife report that he always screams out "Clear Prop" each time that he gets to the interesting bit?

 

"Did someone say "root"?" asked the Lass "And speaking of roots, does anyone know when Shinturbo is due back?"

 

"I hope he brings back some of those asian Dizzy-Affro-ducks that will make him go all night, and also some of those other pills that will assist the Tubbo to plan his arrivals a bit better" she added "Someone should tell the Tubbo that being a good planner doesn't always mean getting there first, so perhaps I might get him to advance his clock a few times, before we start".

 

"No good getting him to advance his clock" said Le Crepe, "As he is already on Zulu time".

 

Just then ..........................

 

My Aunt says that there has been too much advancing going on, out there in the garden

 

 

[turboplanner]

Funny that question should come up - Shin (New) Turbo is standing at Ground Zero, Hiroshima, looking up at the sky and hoping no friendly fire comes over...more later.

 

 

[Captain]

Funny that question should come up - Shin (New) Turbo is standing at Ground Zero, Hiroshima, looking up at the sky and hoping no friendly fire comes over...more later.

"Hey Shin" said Le Crapp 'What are your coordinates and we'll see what we can arrange".

 

"Tubb may have been into speedway, but nobody would describe him as coordinated" said someone who knew him well .... "Unless it comes to his fence hitting ability. He must have owned a J back then, as he was always turning left or right when he shouldn't have been"

 

But he's a .................

 

PS, Do you have the prezzies yet for Ahlo and I?

 

 

[Captain]

And it came to pass that ChoppedLiverPete (or is that PatePete?) took offence at poor Linda's gratitude to the Tugger.

 

"I wonder if she realises that ChoppedLiverPatePete is also TrainedKillerTunnelMousePete in disguise and she is in danger of retribution (or a kick in the shins)?" said le Crapp.

 

"I'll save you Linda" said ...........................

 

The liver of my Aunt is being chopped, in the garden, beside the BBQ

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

"I'll save you Linda" said ...........................

...........HiHoHiHo, "Just jump up and grab hold of my undercarriage as I swing by in my Skybanger."

 

HiHoHiHo turned the Skybanger around into the wind and head back to Linda, his ladylove. As he neared she took a deep breath, her creamy white bosoms rising and falling as she did so. 'Now!!' she thought, 'Now I should jump'. But alas, Linda jumped too soon and found...........

 

I fear that Linda's goose is cooked......in the garden of my aunt

 

 

[ahlocks]

.... But alas, Linda jumped too soon and found......

..... herself staring straight at the whirling prop of the skybanger!!!:ah_oh::confused:

 

But fear not dear NES punters :raise_eyebrow:, for Hidy Ho :star:, the master of the Kmart parking space landings and somewhat accomplished poet , had been distracted by the creamy white lady bumps of Linda :heart: and wasn't paying attention to the swirling eddy of air about to envelope the skybanger.

 

Giddy with love :devil:, or more likely from his quick spin :yuk:, HideyHo found himself heading back in the opposite direction.

 

"Oh, bugga!" Linda muttered. "I've jumped to soon......."

 

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