The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

……… water wings.

 

"is that what they are?" asked bull "I thought that they were her ……...

[turboplanner]

.....floats [avref]. Mavis was a member of the Wagga Wagga RFS Flying Boat Arm and her accuracy in managing to drop on Loxie was legendary around the district. He would go home..........

[onetrack]

.....soaking wet, after a long session with Mavis, because her stamina was unparalleled when it came to quelling the fires of passion. It generally took Loxie a week to recover after one of these sessions, but the.....

[Captain]

...…. rub was the Loxie went to the press again to complain about his equipment.

 

Tubb immediately saw the problem with this and gave Robin-of-Loxie a call on his new Aussie Post Flip Phone.

 

"G'day Tink" said Robin "This is the 2nd time and after getting great press after the bushfires I thought I would run with the equipment failure and poor performance again." he added with a smug inflection.

 

Tink thought for 60 seconds about this.

 

"Are you still there Tubb" asked Robin after the prolonged silence.

 

"Yes I am Loxie …. but do you realise that your latest liaison with Mave involving an equipment failure, and which was on the front page of the Fin Review today, plus is featured on 4 Corners tonight, involves your own equipment?"

 

"Oh XXXX" said Robin "Now I've done it, and ……...……...

[Captain]

"Oh XXXX" said Robin "Now I've done it, and ……...……...

……….. the Sheriff of Gumly Gumly is hot on my trail in order that he can ……………….

[turboplanner]

.........get the equipment serial number, so he can order an operation for the equipment to be fixed, relocated or scrapped. This really put the wind up Loxie who was rarely..............

[Captain]

.........get the equipment serial number, so he can order an operation for the equipment to be fixed, relocated or scrapped. This really put the wind up Loxie who was rarely..............

……….. subjected to a detailed inspection, except when he used to look at it in the mirror and will IT to get bigger …….. or when Sgt Turbine held them in his cold and calloused hand and said "Cough". (This unfortunate episode remains an open file with Victoria's finest corrupt wallopers who are waiting for their next payment from a couple of disgruntled TE shareholders before proceeding further & publishing the photo of Turbo holding Loxie's and saying "Hold your bag sir?").

 

This brought back disturbing memories for all of the NES readers and contributors who all thought of the time, waaaaaaayyyyy back, when ……..

Edited May 5, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......a Universal Joint belonged on a tractor, and torches were used for.................

[Captain]

......a Universal Joint belonged on a tractor, and torches were used for.................

......... suppositorial insertion, plus ........

[Captain]

......... suppositorial insertion, plus ........

..... he inserted, between Tubb's rambling discourse, "I suppose & postulate that Ahlo the great locksmith could just be what Doubtfire always suggested & be a ........

[turboplanner]

Russian plant sent in as a sleeper in 1954 to measure the height of the Rock and whether it was suitable for a spy base, and generally get the secrets of the Shire .........

[Captain]

……….. elections, where the Russians and the Chinese fought to see who could interfere the most in the local Gumly Gumly Ward 6 elections, which they used as practice for the next US Presidentials where they ............

[turboplanner]

.............tried to get their candidate up against the Russians who had backed ......

[Captain]

……. Joe TurBiden as the Democratic Candidate, with his missus, Michelle Turbama as his vice.

 

This made all NES'ers finally fully aware of Turbo's total power and he makes the Twiglet look like a paperboy.

 

"wowee" said bull in amazement, as he is a ……..

[turboplanner]

.........staunch Turbine Party follower [The Turbine Party grew out of the United Australia Party - MOD13], and alwayys watched for developments like Russian being introduced into the school curriculum, and WF Posters bomabing threads with leftist probaganda and cute comments between their sock puppets, not to mention .........

[hihosland]

....Barnaby whose main claim to fame was to prove that a single loose screw could bring down a whole cabinet. An established fact that when reported in the Stockholm edition of the Svenska Dagbladet caused a local stockmarket rush to cash in Ikea shares echoed in OZ by Volvo dealers suddenly..............

[onetrack]

....throwing in their dealerships as they saw the writing on the wall with GM and Holden. But the biggest worry was the fascist section of society, who were anti-Govt, and who regularly held meetings in secret places to toast the Fourth Reich.

However, President-Elect Joe Turbineden reckoned they were just all naughty boys with big guns, and they weren't a threat to anyone.

Besides, the fact they were arming Drifters (avref) with automatic assault weapons was their right, anyway, as laid down in the Constitution.

 

But there was real trouble brewing, that Joe Turbineden was worried about - and that was that Turbine Enterprises was spreading itself too thinly, with operating divisions in every country, as well as a huge range of products such as the multiple versions of the TurbineEncabulator, that was now costing more to produce than it was selling for, thanks to the COVID-19 business logistics problems, and the major drawback to relying on JIT manufacturing principles.

 

To make things worse, cheap oil was now killing the TurbineEncabulators - it was like a re-run of 1928, when the oilfields were knee-deep in wasted oil, and refined fuel was selling for 5c a gallon.

"There's only one thing we gotta do", said Joe Turbineden - "We gotta get into the oil industry, while it's down! At that, he extended the companys borrowings to the hilt, and bought an oilfield that......

 

(And dear NES readers, here we have photographic proof of the recently-purchased California oilfield by TE - which is going to turn TE's earnings around, as soon as the oil price lifts again!)

 

[turboplanner]

....was surplus to requirements. And so began the rise of Turbine Oil. The above photo shows the oilfield as it was in 1928, and every one of those pumps is still powered by a T model Ford engine. Not many people know that Henry Ford really made his fortune out of selling engines to oil companies, and that explains why no one has made any money out of the auto industry since.

Turbo replaced al the engines with Great Wall 3 litre OHC compression engines which ran on crude, so there was no need to bring in fuel for them; they just took a little crude on the way through. Tied to his bulk purchase was another one hundred thousand engines to replace the turboencabulators in the drifters. These were turbochargerd but the nett price he paid was $3.50 per engine, so ........

[Captain]

…………… Turbine Enterprises (TE) landed on their feet again, made massive windfall profits, and immediately made a takeover offer for Wazza Buffett (avref) and his little Berkshire Hathaway lifestyle company.

 

Turbine Residential (TR) also made some moves based on the flood of cash that permeated the entire TE conglomerate when they saw Onesie's photo in post # 12542 as it was a stark reminder that the photo looks precisely like a Perth suburb, so TR bought up 500,000 acres of prime Perth sandhills and commenced to ………..

[turboplanner]

....build a residential estate called "Airpark 19 Left" [Avref]. it would be environmentally friendly with the waste space bwteen the houses eliminated, saving $5000.00 per common wall. There would be a "Think Enviromental" sign on the entrance and every house would have mandatory solar panels for power (not included in the house price). The houses would be built around a lawn court where owners could fly their RC models whenever they wanted. Cars would be parked in the streets and any vacant space on the oilfield, and this would allow an additional 300 houses to be built for a much cosier environment, and..............

[Captain]

………. this revolutionary design won a Nobel Prize for innovation, a prize from OPEC as it was better than the Palm Tree layout in the Gulf (The Dubai Arabs are always magnanimous) and also an environmental design award titled ...………

 

THE NEW DESIGN BY TR OF "AIRPARK 19 LEFT" KICKED

THE ARXE OF THIS DESIGN IN THE WORLD DESIGN COMPETITION.

Edited May 6, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....Major Oilfield Imaginative Suburb Titling (known by it's acronym, MOIST). The MOIST award was highly sought after, for its associated good feelings.

However, trouble with the suburban development started immediately, with the "Left" part of the development naming, causing outrage in many circles, and a slump in projected sales.

 

"It sounds like a Communist plot to introduce East German living to the West!", sniffed Mrs Gladioli Wartford-Dingwell, of Peppermint Grove.

"How would anyone with even a smidgeon of Conservative Upbringing, even remotely consider living in a suburban region named 'Left'..."?

 

A meeting of the Development Board was hurriedly arranged and extensive discussion ranged around the unfortunate Suburban naming - after all, this was the West, where the Right ruled, and Miners were worshipped like Gods.

"We'll just have to modify it slightly, no problem", said Turbo, smoothing down the exasperation of the other Board Members - many of whom were members of the Weld Club and the Karrakatta Club.

"It's just too easy", said Turbo, "We'll simply change the name to......

[Captain]

"I also have a MOIST award" interjected Mavis from somewhere outside the NES.

[Captain]

"It's just too easy", said Turbo, "We'll simply change the name to......

 

............. "Western Airpark 19 Left-Up" and they will go mad (the deposit money started rolling in as soon as the name was leaked from the TE Board Meeting, with most buyers planning to move from Peppermint Grove), as they really do believe that they carry the rest of OZ and they ...........

[turboplanner]

.........will do anything if it involves the "environment", "recycling", "sustainability", even though the WA Education system didn't go that far with words when they went to school.

"We could face a few probems when they start to move in" Turbo told the Captain "any ideas on how we handle it?"

The Captain scratched his...........