The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

...... was landed by Lonely with a beautifully executed 3 point landing. The crowd applauded and he taxied up Main St to conduct an interview with the Eulo Herald in the front bar of the Queen Hotel (turboref).

 

"Far be it for me to say that Turbo is a bit of a dill" said Lonely "But he's a bit of a dill because he got it wrong in a dill-like way. It wasn't "propoganda". What I said was "Come and have a ganda at the prop that I have just invented" plus I added "And how's your STD going, rash-boy?""

 

Lonely smiled and readied himself for the next question, which was .........

[turboplanner]

........related to technical issues of the newly developed prop like pitch and stuff which Cappy wouldn't understand. Lonely didn't want to instil fear in the community at seeing their first Drifter, so he ..............

[Captain]

....... sat down with the crowd in a friendly type of way, and also with a local wombat positioned inappropriately on his lap.

 

Friendly pointed at the Drifter and projected, via the latest laser technology, the W&B calcs up onto the wall of the Eulo Masonic Temple to explain that it wasn't the pillar of stone that was an issue, it was ........

[turboplanner]

...........was its lack of elasticity. The appreciative crowd nodded their heads and agreed they were getting concrete advice from Lonely.

All except little WunTrak who'd come in from the bush and missed the Drifter landing, and now .........

[Captain]

....... Wun-Trick-Track, was convinced that ..........

[onetrack]

....there was a crowd in town that had specially gathered to meet him - as he thought his fame had preceded him, such was the efficiency of the Bush Telegraph.

Then he saw Cappy and rapidly realised there was skullduggery and conniving afoot, and the crowd was possibly a lynch crowd - who, being thwarted by a BLM gathering, had decided to.........

[turboplanner]

.......camp at the Five Mile Billabong.

Feeling hungry, WunTrak looked across the billabong and saw a lamew sheep ..........................

[Captain]

........ and knowing as he did that lamew sheep taste better than ordinary sheep, he took out his ........

[planedriver]

well used kebab skewers, and the flock took off disappearing behind a cloud of red dust................

[onetrack]

.....leaving onetrack disappointed, as he was particularly partial to a nice lamb roast, and he definitely wanted to try a taste of the new lamew breed of sheep.

But the large red dust cloud was sighted by a passing Dual Bird pilot, who had trouble gaining on the cloud, due to his 23 KT IAS. He fell far behind the cloud, until he could barely see it, and ......

[Captain]

........ the following words came to mind, sung to the tune of Highway to Hell ...

 

Once a jolly bagman (Turbo) camped (NTTIAWWT) by the 8 kms billabong, under the shade of a Drifter's wing.

 

And he vaped as he ate the lamewe sheep, who'll cum a .......

[turboplanner]

.......way with meat. At this point a fight broke out between the Animal Rights group in the corner of the Ladies Parlour and the members of the Guwangee Nguyen CheeTribe who'd got to the pub early and were sitting next to the band.

 

Turbo, who in the old days as MC of many weddings, usually a month or two after a BNS, used to spend half his week's pay to the often less than happy couple sending outrageous telegrams to liven things up, sent a number of emails to the band with requests which were going to liven things up later in the ..............

[turboplanner]

[Posters should be aware that bullying is not tolerated on this sight, and Captain is warned that picking on Turbo's spelling is to cease. He can't help it if he spent most of Primery School in Dunce's Corner - MOD9]

[Captain]

RECORDS FROM VICTORISTAN'S EDUMACATION DEPARTMENT FROM THE LATE 1940'S SHOW THAT TURBO'S TIME IN THE DUNCE'S CORNER OCCURED DURING 94.65% OF THE TOTAL SCHOOL HOURS OVER 3 YEARS IN HIS COUNTRY SCHOOL OF 6 STUDENTS AND 2 TEACHERS. HIS TEACHERS ACTUALLY THOUGHT THAT HIS SPELLING OF "LAMW" AS A SHEEP EPITHET WAS A MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH IN TUBB'S LEARNING PROCESS, AND HE WAS GIVEN A RED SMILY STAMP AS A RESULT. ........ MODERATOR 16.

Edited July 6, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........night. The live music had started with Ali Mills singing Waltzing Matilda in Dipro so Lonely could understand it. Of course before he got the concrete coat there were no sheep in Australia so Ali had to improvise.

Not many people know that the drummer arrived late for the show to a glaring stare from Ali.

At around 36 seconds you can see him still screwing up the drum skins, and from that point he plays head down. At 2:28 after a few more death stares you can see him just waiting for the cuff under the ear.

 

Following this act .........

 

[Captain]

……. there was a motion (chairref) passed by Adam Bandy to change the Aussie lingo to Algonquian and the learning commenced by retraining gender assignation teachers via a 30 minute course to become Algonquian Experts (the teachers loved it as they wore headdresses, carved their own images into totem poles and loved to tickle each other's bits with eagle feathers).

 

"Oh crap" said Adam "We green dipsticks are never wrong ................. but I may have made a little slipup, as I asked Dr Google for his help and the idiot gave me the name of the aboriginal language in Canada. So we need to now retrain the retrained Gender Assignation dropkicks from Algonquian to teach a mixture of the Arrernte and the Djambarrpuyngu lingos (where the term "lamw" has a new and rather sinister meaning).

 

With that, Adam showed his knowledge of Aboriginal history by also stating that ………...….

Edited July 7, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........most of them were African American, and then burst into an emotional karioke version of "the Green Green Grass of Home" to an accompaniment of clicking steak knives and forks as everyone got back to the Counter meal which was to be followed by a .......

[Captain]

...…….. Pavlova of witchety grubs, bardy moths, yams and ...………….

[Captain]

WARNING ……. WILL ALL MEXTORIANS PLEASE ENSURE THAT THEY ARE USING A FACE MASK WHILE POSTING AND WILL ALL THOSE FROM THE LOCKED DOWN POST CODES PLEASE REFRAIN FROM DIALING INTO THE FORUM DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME.

 

WE ALSO UNDERSTAND THAT THE TURBINE ENTERPRISES TOWER HAS BEEN LOCKED DOWN AS TURBO HAS BEEN MAKING AN EXTRA QUID BY HIDING 3 REFUGEES IN EACH OFFICE IN THE 43 FLOORS. ……. MODERATOR 2.

[turboplanner]

............Dipro nuts newly released by Turbine Stockfeeds and Dipro Delicacies.

This prompted Lonely to get up and sing an old Country song "I may have a coat of concrete but I've got a heart of gold." and by the time he was finished there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Cappy couldn't help himself; he stood up and ......

[turboplanner]

BULLETIN: EEN HAS GRACIOUSLY VOLUNTEERED TO HOUSE WHAT HE THOUGHT WERE 129 REFUGEES AT HIS PLACE BUT HADN'T TAKEN ACCOUNT OF THE 40 OFFICES ON EACH FLOOR.

HE WOULD APPRECIATE ANY RAA VOLUNTEERS WHO COULD TAKE A FEW. I'M BUSY ORGANISING A WEDDING. MODERATOR 2.

[Captain]

...………. read the eulogy to the Diprotodon, albeit a tad early.

 

"Yeah, hold on" said Lonely "As I ain't dead yet, mate."

 

But Lonely too was a little early, as at that time he hadn't seen the barby being stoked up outside the ...…...

[Captain]

BULLETIN: EEN HAS GRACIOUSLY VOLUNTEERED TO HOUSE WHAT HE THOUGHT WERE 129 REFUGEES AT HIS PLACE BUT HADN'T TAKEN ACCOUNT OF THE 40 OFFICES ON EACH FLOOR.

HE WOULD APPRECIATE ANY RAA VOLUNTEERS WHO COULD TAKE A FEW. I'M BUSY ORGANISING A WEDDING. MODERATOR 2.

 

THIS JUST PROVES WHAT A GREAT GUY EEEEEN IS, AS HE CAN EASILY FIT NUMEROUS REFUGEES INTO HIS MANSION ON THE YARRA (NOT TO MENTION, ALSO IN HIS WEEKENDER ON THE WATER AT PORTSEA).

 

IN ADDITION, AND AT HIS OWN EXPENSE, EEEEEN HAS HIRED KPMG FOR ADVICE AND ALSO RETAINED SEVERAL DOZEN BOMB-CHUCKER SECURITY GUARDS TO KEEP IT ALL UNDER CONTROL ……. WHILE EEEEN HIMSELF EVALUATES ANOTHER CHANGE TO A NEW WEBSITE HOST, WHERE A GREAT OFFER HAS BEEN RECEIVED FROM SHANGHAI VIA HUAWAI …………. MODERATOR 21

Edited July 7, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....CWA supper kitchen. Mavis called the Fire Brigade and told them to hurry, the pub was burning down. Loxie rang the bell, slid down the pole raced across and started up the new Mercedes Benz Fire Truck (nothing was too good while Wagga Wagga ratepayers were available to foot the bill) raced to the pub, aimed the hose at the smoke and the BBQ wood went flying in all directions.

Arthur, President of the GGPub BBQ Committee, wearing his green Committee blazer with his gold name on it advanced on a line of six CWA members all wearing white aprons. This was not going to be .....

[Captain]

…………. simple nor easy, as the recipe called for the 400 kgs live & kicking Lonely to be held over the flames to singe off his hair, prior to his ……………….

Edited July 7, 2020 by Captain