The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

Ohhhhhh, dear NESers? See post #12950.

 

Did he previously meam lamb or lamwe, wicked or wicket .......... and in his above post, was he having a whinge in a Whinery or getting plastered at a Winery?

 

The posts, the spelling, and the answers remain unclear.

[Captain]

Explanation:

 

A "meam" is ye olde english spelling for a noun which is:

1. An element of a culture or system of behaviour passed from one individual to another by imitation or other non-genetic means.
    
    
   
2. An image, video, piece of text, etc., typically humorous in nature, that is copied and spread rapidly by internet users, often with slight variations.
    
    
   

[turboplanner]

......Us.

"Ah Ve" said Golda "Always with the Statements that Cappy. He was the same as a little boy; always the statements when I was trying to send him to school. He could always start a fight, but never finish a sentence."

"He was so bad that his words always came back to bite him, especially............."

[Captain]

......Us.

"Ah Ve" said Golda "Always with the Statements that Cappy. He was the same as a little boy; always the statements when I was trying to send him to school. He could always start a fight, but never finish a sentence."

"He was so bad that his words always came back to bite him, especially............."

.......... his use of "anti-Semitic" terms when referring to Abrahamplanner and his Mossad membership, which took him all of the way to ..............

[onetrack]

.....the Temple Mount and the Dome of the Rock, where all the religious fighting originally began. It was while he was there, he accidentally ran into Benny Netanyahu.

"G'day Benny!", said Turbo, "Hows the bribery and corruption trial going?" (because Turbs liked being on a first-name basis with leading Jewish figures, and he always used his Jewish contacts in Melbourne to ensure he didn't get outright rejections).

 

"Trial!!", said Benny. "More like a circus! I thought I'd paid enough to the judiciary to have this sorted, but there's always one big-noter who wants to run with a high-profile case!"

"Anyway, enough about me, how's the young fella, and what's this I hear about New Turbine Enterprises setting up a branch in Palestine?? What are you trying to do? Split the country??"

 

"Oh, no, I wouldn't start anything like that!", said Turbs, acting surprised (while muttering under his breath, "you've already beaten me to it"). "You see, we got this offer from Mahmoud Abbas to.......

[turboplanner]

.....pay a huge price for assault rifles; it was an offer we couldn't refuse."

Benyamin (he's never referred to as "Benny" unless you want a Mossad necktie) was outraged. "Israel has been a good ally of Australia; how could you sell these weapons of death to be used against us?"

"Don't worry" said Turbo, he paid up front, and I had them made in Wuhan province. As soon as they fire the guns up into the air they'll jam and split the barrels. It was a good deal all round for us allies, so let's...................."

[Captain]

....... not underestimate Abrahamplanner and the arms deal that was also pushed so hard by Jimmy Packer when he was living here with some Hollywood starlet.

 

"That was me" replied Abrahamplanner "When I had my Daniel Craig haircut (and his yummy eyes) and was being his stunt double (it was a cunning stunt) in ......

[turboplanner]

....and I flew the Beech Staggerwing through the frame of the Sydney Harbour Bridge."

"You mean under it, don't you?" interjected Cappy, and both Benyamin and Abrahamplanner rolled their eyes.

"No" said Abe gently "through it"

And Cappy was in awe and said "........

[Captain]

....and I flew the Beech Staggerwing through the frame of the Sydney Harbour Bridge."

"You mean under it, don't you?" interjected Cappy, and both Benyamin and Abrahamplanner rolled their eyes.

"No" said Abe gently "through it"

And Cappy was in awe and said "........

........ Abrahamplanner sure is a terrific user of photoshop"

 

"No way" said onetrack "That is a fair dinkum photo taken at the time by a bloke standing on the rail tracks using his tried & proven box brownie".

 

"That Staggerwing is staggering" proffered Salty, who knew a thing or 2 about ........

[onetrack]

...... staggering around, which he did on a regular basis, after visiting El Capitaine, and sampling his generously-offered moonshine, made from rotten fruit scavenged from the Kapooka rubbish tip.

"I must say that stuff has a bit of a kick in it!, he exclaimed, after he'd downed only half a glass of it. "It makes backyard Russian Vodka taste absolutely insipid!"

 

"I'm quite proud of my homebrew efforts, actually", said El Capitaine. "I don't know anyone that hasn't been floored with half a glass of it, yet! I did manage to kill half a hectare of grass when I had a small spill - but hey, everything you do is a big learning curve, isn't it?"

 

"Talking about learning curve", said Turbo with a worried look. "I've just heard that the NTE hand sanitiser factory has had a mishap. There was a small explosion, I've been informed. I think it was related to some product supplied by Cappy, that.....

[turboplanner]

........was incompatible with the KY we use as a base.

"JESUS!" said Benjamin (and many people on this site will realise the significance of that statement - things were SERIOUS) "that will........."

[hihosland]

but there is no concern because el Capitane has used some of the congealed KY from the explosion at the sanitiser plant to seal the crack in the Staggerwing where the CO had been leaking from the exhaust manifold thus giving Turbo the all clear to do show that Melbourne also a bridge one that can be used to great effect as a prop for a Turbo Enterprises publicity stunt

[Captain]

[ATTACH=full]54857[/ATTACH]

but there is no concern because el Capitane has used some of the congealed KY from the explosion at the sanitiser plant to seal the crack in the Staggerwing where the CO had been leaking from the exhaust manifold thus giving Turbo the all clear to do show that Melbourne also a bridge one that can be used to great effect as a prop for a Turbo Enterprises publicity stunt

..... because Turbo is a dead set rhyme with that.

 

The Skipper was shocked & disappointed at HiHo's atrocious language (but at least Heidi can spell) and referred the issue to ......

[onetrack]

.....the Moderators,, who decided that Hi-Ho had obviously drunk TWO glasses of El Capitaines homebrew, before he wrote that last post.

In fact, the Moderators decided it was a miracle (Jesus ref) that he'd managed to write anything even remotely understandable, after ingesting the amount he did.

 

But Turbo's wild antics with the Staggerwing (avref) brought him some unwanted attention. Not only from a CASA operative, but from Constable Doubtfire, whose chooks had gone off laying, after Turbo flew over her henhouse in the Staggerwing at an altitude of 50 feet, as he tried to regain altitude without hitting powerlines, after flying under the bridge.

 

Constable Doubtfire was seething. She loved her chooks, and enjoyed scrambled eggs on toast every morning, whilst looking out at the bridge. Now, there were no eggs, and a bunch of frazzled hens.

And she knew who had flown that aircraft, thanks to Turbo's advertising efforts associated with the bridge flyunder. She got onto the Commissioner, and before long, there was.........

[turboplanner]

.............a headine in the Hobart Mercury that some XXXXXXXMainlander had flown a Staggerwing under the Tasman Bridge. CASA vowed to get the blighter, but none of the thousands of spectators on the bridge that day coould remember the registration. They were cheering because not only had Turbo flown under the bridge, but in a slalom around every pillar. This was in the 1970s and years later a drink manufacture copied it and started a racing series, using collapsible pylons of course.

Not many people know, but Cappy borrowed the Staggerwing flew down to Hobart and took out a whole span after a crass misjudgement. The aircraft had to be resprayed.

 

Hi Ho's wonderful photo #12962 brings back memories of one of Turbo's misjudgements. He wasn't feeling well on the day he was supposed to fly under that low bridge; he lost attention for a minute on the run in, and jhit a skyscraper, which you can see in the background, bent. There is nothing tougher than a staggerwing. One of the rowers took Turbo to court for spring water into his eyes that he went blind. Turbo won the case after proving he had cause his own blindness in his youth.

 

[onetrack]

Unfortunately, there is adequate proof available that Turbo's flying under bridge spans with a Staggerwing resulted in substantial damage to said bridge - and the authorities are still chasing him for damages and the cost of repairs.

The Staggerwing, of course, being a Beech, escaped from the bridge miscalculation episode with little more than a few paint scratches.

 

Turbo managed to convince the media, that the bridge damage was caused a ship, but everyone knows there was no shipping in the vicinity, the day the bridge was substantially damaged.

 

But Turbo's memory accuracy of his flying exploits has obviously been affected by consuming too much of El Capitaines homebrew.

El Capitaines memory is less affected, because he has developed an immunity to his home brew - but his wobbly gait whenever he moves, and regularly falling off his stool when he says he has to visit the toilet, are good pointers to the damage his homebrew is inflicting.

 

And here, dear NES readers, we have the proof of Turbo's under-bridge flying efforts, revealed in all their raw truth.......

 

[Captain]

Hi Ho's wonderful photo #12962 brings back memories of one of Turbo's misjudgements. He wasn't feeling well on the day he was supposed to fly under that low bridge; he lost attention for a minute on the run in, and jhit a skyscraper, which you can see in the background, bent. There is nothing tougher than a staggerwing. One of the rowers took Turbo to court for spring water into his eyes that he went blind. Turbo won the case after proving he had cause his own blindness in his youth.

(masturbsationref).

[Captain]

And here, dear NES readers, we have the proof of Turbo's under-bridge flying efforts, revealed in all their raw truth.......

.......... as it was an obvious travesty because Turbo had never been able to land on the centreline (as was noted in his last 6 BFRs) so to allow him within 3 kms of a bridge was just asking for trouble.

 

And Turbo's excuse was laughable, when he blamed the 2 visible spectator cars on the bridge for distracting him after he commenced (avref) his approach past the Lonny Casino and down past Bridgewater, then he waved to Chopper in the Risdon jail before taking another swig on this bottle of Red Label and turning left just above stall speed, to ..........

[Captain]

(masturbationref).

 

This is where Turbs got his forum name from when he was about 13 years old.

 

"He was a world champion" said one of his schoolfriends .................. and we all think that he still is a bit of a wa............

[onetrack]

.....ffler, but no-one holds that against him". However, it hurt Turbo that his best mate kept harping on about onanism, when he knew that the Jedi Rat was a regular worshipper at that temple.

 

"I can't understand what's got into him lately?", opined Turbs. "It must be the virus restrictions, or the fact that he's petrified of catching something. Perhaps that's the reason behind his regular references to......

[Captain]

......... hopefully not catching the Clovid 19 Virus (avref).

 

"This covid hoax is just a como (DanAref) plot that has been fostered by the Greens so that none of us can fly (avref)" said Brine ..... "And now Dan requires that everyone must wear a mask when posting on the internet, the reason being that the cluster in the Melbourne towers was caused by a Victoristan immigrant person watching a questionable website without a mask, and that was the .............

 

THE VIRUS THAT CAPPY IS AFRAID OF.

[onetrack]

.....start of the spread of these new clusters. But Commo Dan hasn't realised yet, that wearing masks has made it so much easier for crooks and bank robbers to operate. They all just look like ordinary citizens!

 

Meantimes, Allah is having a good belly laugh over Victorians having to go around looking like Muzzies. Soon the Muzzies will be throwing away their niqabs and hijabs, so they can be indentified as Muzzies!

 

And the Bomb-Chuckers Union is going on strike, claiming they can't dress up any more, because they just get mistaken for ordinary Victorian citizens!

 

Then there's the ID problems in the COVID mask era. Are all Victorians going to have passport photos taken with masks on? If they take their masks off for a photo session, they're in breach of Commo Dans regulations!

 

And finally - the greatest horror of all, is now to be revealed. With politicians wearing masks, no-one will be able to be sure of what they said, or what they promised! It's all just mumbles behind a mask!!

 

Dear NES readers, its enough to make anyone flee the State of Victoria for greener, mask-free pastures. "How glad I am, to be living in the virus-free West!" said Onetrack gleefully, as he pored over........

[hihosland]

a glass of his favourite Bertoli tipple from the Yarra Valley and mused .....

[hihosland]

a glass of his favourite Bertoli tipple from the Yarra Valley and mused .....

nostalgicly about times past when Turbo and his cohort could acquire the pre requisite skills for under bridge flying

[onetrack]

....and wondered what Hi-Ho had been drinking to slur out "Bertoli tipple from the Yarra Valley", when the winemaker is actually De Bortoli.

 

But obviously unknown to Hi-Ho, Onetrack doesn't drink grape juice rubbish from the Yarra Valley - he prefers the drink of his ancestors from the Scottish Highlands, truly nectar of the Gods, infused with heather-flavoured, mountain spring water.

 

"But while we're talking strong drink", said Onetrack, "We have a huge crisis here, the virus is raging, the airlines are a shadow of their former lives, thousands are stuck in self-isolation, and a Commo is running the State of Victoria!!"

 

"It's enough to drive a man to strong drink! - as we've seen by Cappy's homebrew production, which has soared since the virus restrictions came in!".

 

"Yes," said El Capitaine, "What I'm looking for now, is some worthy individual to carry out a wider distribution of my product! I can up production to easily meet the needs of a small town! But I need a suitable distribution method!"

 

"It's too easy", said Onetrack, "I'm an old hand at crop spraying, being an old agricultural lad, and I reckon I could easily get over the border in a Grumman Ag-Cat, with the hopper full of your home brew!"

 

"The ag industry and the transport industry are exempt from all the virus restrictions, so I reckon I could slip in and out of the State with 1500 litres of homebrew in the hopper! All I need is a place to drop it!"

 

"That's just an amazing idea!", said Cappy, "But first, I'll have to..........